Bound by the Past (3 page)

Rubbing his weary eyes, he thrust the unhappy memories from his mind. The Commitment Church was something he purposely hadn’t thought of in fifteen years, despite the fact he still suffered nightmares about his time there.

Sitting at the table with Carly, he again considered Reilly’s suspicions. Cassandra wasn’t a fool. There was no way she would resurrect the Commitment Church. If she was on the mountain, she had a different plan this time. And there was no force in nature that would compel him to go up to that compound again. The normal life he’d craved since leaving the cult and the CAA was within his grasp.

Glancing next to him, he watched Carly dig into her French fries with vigor.

Normal.

He was going to be normal, and if anyone could show him the way, it was the lively sprite before him.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” she said.

As their friendship grew, Jon had become concerned, worried about the day she would ask him questions about himself and his past that he couldn’t answer. She’d never met Night, as he’d been out of the country the last eighteen months.

“Earth to Jon.” She waved her hands in front of his face. “Anybody home?”

“I’m here.”

“Could have fooled me. You’ve been zoning out since you picked me up. Do you feel all right?”

“I feel fine.”

“If you’re too tired, we don’t have to go to the football game. I know it’s been a long week. I’m sure someone snuck at least three Tuesdays in there.”

He laughed. “I’m not too tired. Besides, there’s no way I could miss this game and show my face in school on Monday. I have three starters on the team in my third period and they’d be pissed off if I missed it.”

“The kids love you. No one can teach the struggling students like you can.”

“Careful there, Blue Eyes. Unlike you, I have no problem accepting a compliment and yours is feeding my already overweening sense of self.”

“Ha ha. I don’t have problems with compliments. Just ones that aren’t necessarily true.” At her words, his eyes narrowed and she quickly raised her hands in surrender. “Oh no. We are not going there again.”

“Didn’t your ex-husband ever tell you how pretty you are?” He felt a bit curious about her unsuccessful marriage. It was the one subject about which she didn’t speak often.

“We didn’t have that kind of marriage.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Adam and I were—actually,
are
—better friends than lovers. Our relationship was never based on passion, just companionship.”

“Excuse me for saying so, but that doesn’t sound like much of a marriage.”

“You’re right. Our marriage was probably a mistake from the beginning, but the fact is we were really great friends. I suppose in a lot of ways it was easier to just hang in there. I mean, we got along fine. Why mess with something that wasn’t terrible? We rarely fought and we had a good time together, even if we weren’t ripping each other’s clothes off every night.”

“So what happened?”

“He met someone whose clothes he wanted to rip off.”

“Ah.” He was unsure how to respond to her carefree response.

“Shelby is Adam’s soul mate. She completes him in a way I never could. She’s wonderful for him. Truth is, as much as I know I should be devastated, I’m not. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m several eggs short of a dozen.”

“Sorry, but that’s not what I’m thinking.”

“You aren’t?” Her face showed her disbelief at his statement.

“Nope.”

“Then what were are you thinking?”

“That you are too good to be true.” Before he could think about his actions, he reached for her.

And then he kissed her.

Night watched Jon lean forward to kiss the gorgeous brunette. Making a quick adjustment to his pants, he imagined what it would be like to put his mouth on those oh-so-kissable lips as well.

He hadn’t seen his best friend in well over a year, since before Jon had started his new life as an English teacher. Night knew it was foolish to be nervous about seeing Jon again, yet for some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling.

Things had changed between them in the last few years. A wall had been erected and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how or why. Jon was struggling to overcome and forget the past. Night could respect that even if he couldn’t quite understand. For him, the past would never go away as long as Cassandra Walker was a free woman.

Now—for the first time in nearly a decade and a half—he saw his chance for retribution.

Night ran a hand through his dirty hair, shaking loose clumps of soil and dried leaves. Damn Reilly wanted him up on that godforsaken mountain twenty-four-seven. After days without a shower, hot food or a decent night’s sleep, he’d had enough. On top of his discomfort, he was tired of wondering how Jon would respond to the fact that Mommie Dearest was back in town.

He’d just been pulling into the parking lot of Jon’s townhouse complex when he saw his friend pulling out. Jon hadn’t seen him and, as Night didn’t have a key, he’d decided to follow. He’d been surprised to see his friend pull up in front of a small house on the edge of town and pick up the pretty little brunette. Grinning at the prospect of having a bit of fun at Jon’s expense, he’d followed the couple to this restaurant.

He could just imagine the look on the woman’s face if he walked up to Jon and hugged him. He looked like a homeless person and his smell was potent. However, he could see from here that something was bothering his friend, and he wasn’t sure this was the right time to approach him.

So instead he’d simply sat in his truck and watched Jon and his date throughout most of their meal. He knew his friend better than anyone on earth. He could only assume Reilly had finally made contact, and Jon hadn’t taken the news of Cassandra’s reappearance well.

As he watched, Jon ended the kiss with a smile and his date blushed.

“Christ.” The entire thing reminded him of an episode of
The Andy Griffith Show
, it was so innocent and sweet. Nausea swam through him. So it looked like his best friend had finally gotten his heart’s desire. He’d achieved what they’d both assumed was impossible—a normal life.

The couple rose to leave the restaurant. Night bent down in the front seat of his truck while Jon opened the passenger door for his date, then circled the car and climbed in. As he watched them drive away, Night decided tonight wasn’t a good time for a reunion. He groaned at the prospect of another night spent sleeping on the cold, hard ground, then started his truck and headed back toward the mountain.

Carly was quiet as he drove her home from the football game. In fact, she’d been rather subdued ever since his impetuous kiss in the restaurant. He’d wanted to talk to her about it, but at the football game she had carved them out a place in the midst of the faculty section. Surrounded by colleagues didn’t allow much opportunity for intimate conversation. Unfortunately, the long game—Lowell won in overtime—gave him too much time to worry about her response. He’d sensed she was confused, and he didn’t blame her. In the course of a few hours, he’d told her she was beautiful, threatened to spank her and kissed her in public.

She lived close to the school and they were pulling up in front of her house before he’d had a chance to speak a word to her.

“Carly.” He turned toward her as she reached for the door handle of the car.

“Jon, you don’t have to say anything. It was just a little kiss. Don’t worry about it.”

“‘Worry about it’?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve been so sweet to me today, but you really didn’t have to kiss me just to make me feel better about myself.”

“What?” He was perplexed by her comments.

“I know I’m not exactly what you would call the most self-confident woman in the world, but I meant what I said about Adam. I’m not hurt by his decision, so you don’t have to worry that I’m in denial or pining away or lonely or anything.”

She thought the kiss was simply to cheer her up? A pity kiss?

She was still talking so he forced himself to tune back in to her rambling conversation. “…suppose I’m just not the type of woman to evoke that kind of passion in a man.”

“What?”

“I’m the girl next door, not the fantasy. Plus I’m a tomboy—always have been. Guys see me as a friend, not a conquest, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, I think fellas are cool to hang out with. Much better than women, who only ever want to shop and talk on the phone.”

He shook his head, certain he hadn’t heard her right. She thought he wasn’t attracted to her. That she didn’t ooze passion and sex out of every pore of her delectable body.

“So thanks for the nice words and kiss, but you don’t have to worry, I don’t expect anything more. Nothing’s changed. We’re still friends.”

“The hell we are!” he shouted, speaking with more heat than he’d intended. She flinched as if he’d hit her. “Don’t say another word.” He opened his door and circled the car to hers. “Get out.”

She got out of the car stiffly, unsure how to react to his angry response. Grabbing her hand, he half-led, half-dragged her to her front door, barely keeping himself in check.

“Where’s your key?” He grabbed it from her when she attempted to hand it over. Her hands were shaking now but he was too far gone to care. Reilly had lured the bear out of its den this afternoon and her comments had poked it into a fury.

Once he had the front door open, he followed her in, latching it behind them.

Warily, she turned to him. “Jon?”

He didn’t reply to the question in her voice. “Upstairs.”

He was slightly surprised when she followed his command without refusal. Having been in her home numerous times, he knew exactly where her bedroom was. When they reached the top of the stairs, she paused until he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward her room.

Upon reaching his destination, he stood in the doorway as she moved away from him to the center of the room. Obviously she’d had enough time to gather her wits and she rounded on him, fury evident in her face.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” She yanked off her jacket and threw it across the room.

Still angry, he was itching for a fight. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. You!” He pointed a finger at her before divesting himself of his own leather coat. “You’re what’s wrong with me, but you know what, Blue Eyes? I’m about to correct that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She backed away slowly but he matched her step for step.

“I’m talking about the fact that you are so fucking blind to your own beauty you can’t see when a man is attracted to you. That was no goddamn pity kiss. If you can’t tell the difference, then it’s obvious you need to be taught a lesson about kissing.”

“Lesson?”

He halted her retreat by grabbing her upper arms and pulling her toward his chest.

“Lesson.” His lips descended on hers in a kiss that her insecure mind could never mistake for pity or friendship. It was an outright possession, an unreserved claiming. His tongue explored her mouth and his teeth nipped lightly at her lips as his hands moved up to cup her face, holding her still for his amorous assault.

And an assault is exactly what it was. He gave her no quarter, no reprieve, no opportunity to misunderstand his meaning this time. She was not going to be his friend or his girl next door.

She was going to be his.

When he lifted his lips from hers, he saw such a mixture of emotion in her eyes that he didn’t know what to respond to first—the confusion, the fear or the yearning. Both of them were breathing heavily, so he allowed her to take one step back. He needed to give her time to consider his actions, his intentions, his longings. He was finished fighting the past. Tired of being bound to that endless hell. He wanted a future.

Clearly she read his objective without words, because he saw her eyes widen with the realization.

“Come here.” He deliberately softened his tone, not wanting to frighten her any more.

“Why?”

“Come here, Carly.”

“Jon…” She was obviously stalling for time, but his patience was in tatters. Refusing to listen to any more of her rambling diatribes, he grabbed her roughly, pushing her back against the nearest wall. His lips cut off her protest, taking hers as if his life depended on stealing all the breath in her body.

She was stunned motionless for several moments before he felt something give way. She succumbed to his intense kiss. Her hands slid slowly up his chest, continuing until his grip on her upper arms loosened enough that she could wrap them around his neck, her hands pulling his hair, keeping his lips on hers.

Unwilling to give up control of the kiss, his own hands traveled down her back until he reached her buttocks, firmly gripping each cheek and pulling her toward him, grinding his hard erection into her soft stomach.

She seemed shocked by the intimacy of his actions. Pulling back, she looked at him with blue eyes clouded with confusion…and lust. “Jon?”

“No. No more talking.” Taking her lips again, he effectively halted anything she might have said. She’d had her say in the car—now he was going to prove her words false. Lightly nipping her lower lip, he thrust his tongue into her mouth, moving it in time with the thrusting of his hips against hers, leaving her no question where tonight would lead them.

Slowly, he moved his kiss away from her now swollen lips, dragging them over her soft cheek to her ear, uncaring if his rough five o’clock shadow was scraping her. He felt an overwhelming desire to mark her. He tickled her ear with his tongue before biting the lobe gently. Ignoring her gasp, he moved farther down, pressing moist kisses and sharp nips along her throat until he reached the opening of her blouse.

She was whimpering in his arms now, her hips thrusting toward him, unconsciously trying to find something to fill her. The thought undid him.

Without a word, he stepped away and gripped both sides of her shirt. He ripped it open in one fast movement. The sound of buttons bouncing on the floor and the rending of material filled the air, drowned out their harsh breathing.