Bound by Blood and Sand (18 page)

He didn't know what to say to that, but before he could think of a reply, Tal was on his feet. He walked to Shirrad, placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shake him off, didn't order him to do anything at all, and he began to slowly rub her back. Elan watched, amazed, as she turned toward him to bury her face in his side. He stroked her hair, put an arm around her.

No one had given him any order. She hadn't demanded this of him. And when she had said she would lose everything…She'd lose Tal, too. Just like Jae would.

She cared for him—and he seemed to care for her, too. Even though she'd had to stand there helplessly as his life had been threatened, as the rest of the Closest had been condemned. Maybe she didn't care for every Closest like this, but she was responsible for them.

“Tal,” Elan said softly. Tal looked up at him, eyes wide and scared, but Elan forced himself to smile as kindly as he could. “It's all right. I only wanted to say, you may speak. If you wish to. That's all.”

“Thank you,” Tal mumbled, and pulled a cushion over to Shirrad's side. Elan looked away from them, embarrassed to see something obviously not meant for his eyes, but given his father's order, he couldn't leave. So he listened but didn't watch as Tal said, “Don't worry for me, Lady. You've done all you can, I know you have. I will swear to it when they ask me.”

They.
The other Closest. If Tal even got to see them again.

“Can you ever forgive me?” Shirrad asked.

“Yes, Lady. You tried to save Aredann. You've tried for years.”

“Is there anything else I can do to help you?” she asked.

Elan glanced up and saw their hands linked together on the table.

“I…I don't know, Lady. I'd like a chance to see Jae before she leaves. But…” He glanced over at Elan. “I don't know if that can happen.”

Elan's father wouldn't want that. The farther Elthis could keep them from each other, the easier they would be to control. But if his father was willing to keep secrets, so was Elan, especially since this small kindness was the only one he could grant them. “It can. I'll see to it. But not just now. My father might ask where you are, might come looking for me. Later, after he's gone to sleep.”

“Thank you,” Tal said.

Elan nodded, because he couldn't imagine at all what Tal would say to Jae. Elan had a sister, too, after all, and though Erra had always been the heir—the heir, and their father's favorite—she'd still looked after him. When they'd been young enough to play together and she'd gotten them both in trouble, she'd never left him alone to face the consequences. Even now that they were both adults and she was so busy with her responsibilities—her children, the husband she'd been forced to marry, and the lady she loved on the side—Erra still looked after him when she could. She was the one who'd made sure Elan had a plan when he came to Aredann, a way to redeem himself. Elan loved her, and his niece and nephew, and he'd do anything for them.

Tal and Jae felt the same for each other. Jae would do anything to save Tal, even give away her freedom, and Tal…

Elan realized what Tal would tell Jae after all: that his life wasn't worth it, that she shouldn't worry about him, that she should never bow to Elthis and let him abuse her magic. Tal would tell her that she should do anything she could to fight back and save Aredann—and break the Curse. Even if it cost Tal his life.

Elan wondered if Jae would do it, allow Tal to die so she could be free to rearrange the world into a new order. Elan would never let Erra die, if it came to that.

But Elthis would sacrifice Tal no matter what, to get what he wanted. So why shouldn't Tal be allowed to sacrifice himself instead, for what
he
wanted? At least then it would be his decision to make. Elan could prevent that, simply by going back on his word, by not letting Tal pass Jae any sort of message. That was what his vow to his father demanded, and anything that risked the hold his father had over Jae was as good as breaking that vow.

Elan pressed his palm against the brand on his chest.

He didn't
want
to betray his father. Even now, knowing the truth, it was still all but unthinkable to break his vows intentionally. Not just accidentally asking questions that his father didn't want to answer, but to act directly against his father's interests.

But the Highest made vows, too. Vows to protect the world, and everyone in it. Yet his father was willing to murder hundreds of Closest to protect his secrets.

At least Elan wouldn't be the only vow-breaker in his family.

Jae spent the day curled up in Lady Shirrad's old quarters, miserable and unmoving. All she could think about was Tal and that madman, and how she'd failed to protect her brother. How she'd let herself believe, for the first time in her life, that she'd had any sort of power over anything, that she'd been safe.

She was a fool, and she deserved every moment of misery for it. She would even have welcomed the Curse's steady, unrelenting pain as punishment, because her idiocy was going to get Tal killed. Now she would never make any difference, she wouldn't be able to save Aredann, and nothing would change—except that if she dared breathe wrong, Elthis would slaughter her brother.

A tiny voice in her mind rebelled, asking:
Would they really kill him? If he's dead, they lose all their power over you.

But Tal's life was worth more than water to her. If he died, she'd be able to take revenge, but she could never, never let him die. The thought of revenge was sweet, though. She'd deal with Elthis the way she had with Rannith, but maybe not so quickly. She thought of the garden, of the cactus spines she used to imagine as weapons. They still could be. It would be nasty, brutal. Deserved.

Gali brought her dinner. At Jae's questioning look, she volunteered, “I haven't seen him all day.” She handed Jae the plate. “They aren't even allowing him to work, just keeping him in the study with them. He wasn't in the Closest's quarters last night. Jae…”

“I won't let them hurt him,” Jae said.

Gali nodded but said, “You should…you should do what you think is right.”

“Saving Tal is right,” Jae said, but Gali wouldn't look at her.

Jae wilted. Cooperating with Elthis meant abandoning Aredann, and that meant
Gali
would die, along with all the Closest except Tal. The idea of choosing between them, weighing Tal's life against all of theirs, made her stomach churn, and the meal became even less appealing. But she still knew, deep down, that Tal's life outweighed everything else. The other Closest, the Well, the Curse. He was her brother, her twin, the only one who'd ever tried to protect her. She'd endure anything if it meant saving him.

There were no right answers, and there was nothing she could do. Gali left, shutting the door behind her, and Jae pushed the plate away. Her stomach rumbled, but she didn't mind the ache. She'd been hungry countless times in her life, and physical pain was better than letting herself get lost in thoughts again. When she shut her eyes, all she could picture were the Closest she'd known her whole life. Her mother, who'd passed away years ago. Gali, Firran, Asra, and the others she saw every day. All of them would die because she'd chosen Tal over them.

She couldn't stop her mind from wandering toward him. She glanced at the room with her other-vision, let the world glow softly, and followed the lights through Aredann's corridors. Elthis was in his borrowed set of rooms, with servants helping him prepare to sleep. Shirrad was nearby, alone. And farther down the hall, Tal sat cross-legged in Elan's room. Elan was pacing, while Tal watched him warily. Elan was talking, like he'd always talked at Jae.

At least it looked like Tal was safe, for the moment.

Shirrad stirred in her quarters. She moved slowly, pausing every few feet, and headed toward Elan's room. Jae sat up straight, the room around her fading farther away as she concentrated. She could make out Shirrad's expression, the tension in her as she moved toward Elan and Tal.

When Shirrad reached Elan's room, she didn't venture in. Instead the three of them slipped out. Elan took the lead, moving just as slowly as Shirrad had, and back in the direction she'd come from. Not toward Lady Shirrad's room and Elthis's but toward the main hall and the center of the house. From there, they could go anywhere.

Jae watched, confused. They were obviously trying not to be seen, but she couldn't imagine why—what they could be doing that would be so secretive. She widened her other-vision gaze and saw that only a few people were still in the halls, and though a couple were near Elan, none of them seemed headed toward him.

Elan reached the main hall and hesitated, looking back at Shirrad and Tal. But as Elan started forward, another presence came into her view: Elthis, heading toward them.

She didn't know what they were doing, but it was clearly meant to be stealthy, and there was no one else on the estate they'd need to hide from. She ran for the door to her chamber, but it was locked. She could see them moving again, and Elthis getting closer. She grabbed for the energy she'd used during the quake and shoved it at the door.

It rattled, shook, and fell. It wasn't quiet or subtle, and everyone she could see in other-vision froze, startled, but that was fine. It gave her more time. She ran toward her brother, down the halls she knew so well. Elthis finally caught up to them in a large, domed atrium where several halls converged. He came to a stop on one side as they were about to exit out the other and demanded, “Shirrad, Elan—what are you doing?”

Jae stopped just shy of the atrium, in the hallway that Elan, Tal, and Shirrad would have turned down if they'd continued. Instead, the three of them all turned back toward Elthis.

Jae crept closer to them, staying in the shadows. She could just make out their backs and Elthis's face, but he didn't seem to notice her.

“Nothing,” Elan said. “Just taking a walk around the grounds.”

“Why? There's nothing worth seeing,” Elthis said, and snorted. Then he looked back and forth between Elan and Shirrad. His eyebrows climbed his forehead. “Unless—you and this girl?”

Shirrad clenched a fist but said nothing, despite the sneer in Elthis's voice. Elan answered, “What? No, of course not. Lady Shirrad and I were only chatting.”

“About what?” Elthis demanded.

“About…” Elan squared his shoulders. “About this estate and what's to become of it. Will it truly turn to sand in time? Or will it still be here, abandoned?”

“What does that matter?”

“There's so much history here,” Elan said. “So many secrets. I hope it stands up to the desert and someone will rediscover it, someday.”

Elthis frowned. Elan's voice had been hard and heavy. Not meek, like yesterday, when he'd heard the truth from Elthis's own lips.

Elthis peered at him, and then at Tal, and said, “What are you doing with him?”

“You ordered him to stay with me,” Elan said. “I went for a walk. He had to follow.”

“I
ordered
you to
deal
with him,” Elthis said. “Not take him for a stroll. Do not lie to me, Elan. Closest, what is going on?”

“I…” Tal cast a helpless look at them, then said, “They were taking me to Jae, Highest.”

Jae swallowed heavily. Taking him to
her.
Elthis asked the question for her: “Why?”

“I asked them to—”

“To say goodbye,” Elan interrupted. “A kindness—because Tal hasn't done anything to deserve his treatment. Not any more than his ancestors did—because they didn't, either, did they, Father?”

“How dare you?” Elthis spat, and Jae grabbed for the wall, needing something solid to cling to as the world shifted around her. Elan knew the truth—and it
mattered
to him. She'd thought he was as much a liar as his father, when Elan had said he would save Aredann and that he wanted to help, but maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe he really just hadn't known.

“Elan.” Elthis stood like he was built out of the bricks they'd used to patch the wall. He nodded toward Tal, but when he spoke, it was to Elan. “Stop this nonsense, and send
him
over to me immediately.”

Tal didn't move, looking back and forth between them. No order had been given to him. Jae clutched the wall harder, realizing. It wasn't about Tal at that moment—it was about Elan, and whether or not he'd obey his father. She didn't dare hope, but—

“I can't do that,” Elan said.

“Elan—”

“He's done nothing wrong. I
won't,
” Elan repeated.

His father stared at him for a long moment, and so did Jae. “Is that your final decision?” Elthis asked.

Elan's shoulders heaved with a single deep breath, and he said, “Yes.”

“Then you are no son of mine any longer,” Elthis said. Shirrad gasped, hand going to her mouth, but Elthis continued. “And you have broken your vows.”

Elan fell back, letting out a strangled shout as he staggered. His hands both went to his heart, and he winced, falling against the wall. Jae's skin tingled as the energy around her
changed.
Something snapped, like it had when she'd freed herself. Elthis was still shining, bright and steady, tendrils of magic connecting him and Shirrad, but the glow around Elan pulsated and rippled, while Elan's features twisted with pain.

Jae's head swam as she pulled herself off the wall. Elan believed her. He'd stood up to his father. And now he'd lost everything for it. Jae's skin tingled, magic building, energy glowing all around her.

“You, Closest,” Elthis barked. “Come here.”

“No!”
Jae screamed, years of silence falling away from her in a heartbeat. Tal couldn't stop, but everyone else turned toward her. As she broke into the atrium, she grasped for all the magical energy she could. “Let Tal go. Let him go!”

“I will not,” Elthis said, reaching out to grab Tal's arm as soon as he was near enough. “And you will be silent.”

Jae clenched her jaw, teeth shutting with a snap, but she didn't need to speak. Instead she poured the energy she'd gathered into the floor and walls until they shook. This time it was no slow, confused build, and no accident. She flung her arms out for balance as she stared at the spot under Elthis's feet, willing the stones to slide apart. They rumbled, and Shirrad screamed. Even Elthis looked scared, staring around with wild eyes, but he didn't relinquish his grip on Tal.

“Stop this! Stop it now!” he shouted.

Jae sent a brick that had been knocked loose skittering across the room toward him. Elthis jumped, avoiding it easily, but he had to shove Tal away to do it—and as Elthis danced backward to avoid more debris, he yelled, “Closest, the knife. Cut your throat!”

Jae screamed again, and so did Shirrad, as Tal reached for the knife in his belt, his arm jerking and shaking. Jae let all her fury and rage loose, hurled it at the ceiling above Elthis—

Elan threw himself forward, narrowly missing a brick that had come dislodged from above, and landed on Tal. He scrambled, reaching for Tal's knife hand, while Tal fought back against Elan to carry out the order he'd been given. Jae poured more and more magic into the floor and ceiling as Elan wrestled with Tal. Elthis backed away, but the floor buckled, bricks crashed down, and he staggered and fell. He landed badly on a pile of rubble, his head slamming into one of the bricks. A spray of blood coated the floor, bright red that turned dark where it hit the ground.

Jae reached her magic toward the bricks above Elthis, ready to end him, but Shirrad shrieked, “
Stop this!
Tal, listen to me!
I order you to be still!
” Tal's body convulsed under Elan's, and Shirrad yelled, “I am the highest authority at Aredann now, and you
will
stop!”

Tal's body jerked again, trying to throw Elan off, and Elan grunted as he struggled to keep his hold on Tal. Then, remarkably, Tal fell still. His chest was heaving, but he leaned back against the shaking floor, and Jae let the room's trembling dwindle and die. She didn't know if what Shirrad had said was really true—it was if Elthis was dead, but he was only unconscious. Maybe that was enough, or maybe Tal had just believed her enough that the Curse had, too, but either way, Jae was grateful.

Elan scrambled off Tal and landed on his knees among the downed bricks, hands pressed to a dark spot on his chest. Jae ran over to them and knelt next to Tal. She took his hand, and he stared at her, dropped the knife, and let her drag him up into her arms.