Bound (Bound Trilogy) (34 page)

“Did they ask you about Rowan?”

“They already knew what you told them.” I opened my eyes to watch the light dancing on the ceiling.

Kel slouched lower in the seat and stretched out his legs. “There were things I
couldn’t
tell them, though. Like why she wasn’t going to come here without you.”

“Your curiosity is going to get you hurt some day.”

He just shrugged and waited for me to go on.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I told her to come and not to worry about me, and she said no, and I said she could stay.”

“She cares for you.”

“She seems to.” I tried not to be happy about that. “It doesn’t make much sense, does it? She knows enough about me that she shouldn’t.”

“And what about you? What are your feelings for her?”

That word made me uncomfortable, and Kel knew it. I remembered what my father told me not long after my mother died, and what Severn repeated after Mona and John were executed.
We don’t feel. We think, we do. We have, we are.
It was a lie, of course. We felt pride, and pleasure, and disgust, and a thousand other things. But never what Kel was suggesting. Even now, I wouldn’t let myself think about her in those terms. Wouldn’t give in.

“If I cared for her very much I suppose I’d have made her leave with you to keep her safe, wouldn’t I? I could have lied, could have told her she was more trouble than she was worth, that I’d be better off without her.”

“You could have said that you didn’t want her.”

“Exactly.”

“But you didn’t want to hurt her.”

“No. I could have, though. She’d have been better off. Wanting her to stay with me was selfish.”

Kel was silent for several minutes, but I was done talking.

“Do you think she’s stupid?” he asked.

“No. She’s got more brains in her head than I gave her credit for when she agreed to marry that muscle-headed magic hunter.”

Kel laughed. “I wouldn’t judge that decision too harshly. She hadn’t met you yet.”

“Kel…”

“You told her the truth, or as much of it as you were capable of, and you let her do what she judged was best. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s probably better than her own people ever offered her.”

“Good. So I respect her as an intelligent person. I like her. I enjoy her company. Is that good enough for you?”

“You find her attractive.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

Kel turned to me. “If you had moved on from the lake together instead of coming here, you would have done whatever you could to keep her safe and find help for her.”

“Yes.”

“And you could walk away from this right now?”

“If I had to.”

“Really?” He didn’t seem surprised by my answer, but it was clear that he didn’t believe me.

“Could and will if it comes to that. Kel, I know what you want this to be, and it can’t. I just want to see this through, whatever it takes.”

He stood. “I have to say that this is rather disappointing. You humans have no idea how fortunate you are. I know it makes me unusual among my people, but I would give almost anything to have what I see when she looks at you, and you at her. I can’t have that, but I want it. You can, and you push it away because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“No, you’re not allowed to be, are you?”

A small girl in a pink dress raced into the room and tripped over her own feet as she passed Kel. He scooped her up before she could hit the floor.

“Slow down, speedy,” he said. “New legs are hard to work, and they’re no good around water.” He set the child down and pointed her toward the door she’d come in, and she raced off like a re-directed wind-up toy. He turned back to me. “Aren, you can have your family’s stupid pride, or you can have Rowan. Don’t expect to have both. She deserves better than that.”

He followed the little girl out of the room. I gave him a few minutes’ head start, then went back to the main hall. Cassia stood near a seating area by the window, looking up toward the sunlight that cut through the water in hazy beams. She turned and smiled as I stopped beside her.

“If you’re going to ask me anything about my meeting with the elders, or anything else that’s happened in the past few months,” I said, “I’d rather not.”

“Bad day?”

“Could be worse. I’m not dead and didn’t get kicked out. Yet. I’d rather not talk about it, though.”

She raised an eyebrow, and gestured toward the piano that someone had rolled in and placed near the window. “Not to reference the meeting that shall not be discussed, but were you asked to play?”

“It’s the price of my admission to the banquet.”

“Excellent.” She grinned. “Better get practicing. You’re probably terribly rusty.”

It was strange to sit at an instrument again after so many years. Luid was a city of culture, of learning and art, famous theaters and music pouring from the houses, but not for my family. Let the masses be distracted, let those with lesser magic live their lives as they wished. We had a greater purpose. I would never have had anything to do with music if not for the merfolk.

The tension that had built up during my conversations with the elders and Kel slipped slowly away as my fingers remembered their places, as I laughed with Cassia over mistakes and old memories while we selected music for my small part of the evening. It was strange to be back in that place, with friends and music and laughter. I had no reason to expect it to last, but I’d enjoy it while I could.

Getting dressed took longer than I’d expected. The style the mer men were wearing was a structured suit, simple enough in the jacket and pants once I found something to fit, but the shirts seemed unnecessarily complicated, requiring added equipment to close the cuffs and a tight tie about the neck. I liked the dark, muted colors though.

In spite of the difficulties our clothing caused, we were all ready before the women came downstairs. They were as colorful as we were plain, and were obviously enjoying themselves. It took me a minute to find Rowan in the group. A young mer woman with green hair had her by the hand and was pulling her along, and Rowan laughed as she stumbled slightly in her heeled shoes. The world seemed to slow as I watched her.

Kel chuckled. “You poor bastard,” he said, and stepped forward to show Rowan to her seat.

The dress she wore hugged her body in all the right places and made her skin glow. She turned back to me and smiled. In that moment she wasn’t cute, or pretty. She was perfect.

So that’s that
, I thought, and followed her. I wouldn’t give Kel the satisfaction of telling him he was right, but there it was.

Someone had set out cards with a guest’s name on each, one at every place setting. Rowan and I weren’t seated close to each other, but I stopped behind her chair to lean in and whisper, “You look incredible.”

“Oh,” she said, and turned as far as her dress would allow. Something about the curve of her neck as she looked up at me was nearly overwhelming. “You are… I mean, you look fantastic.”

Arnav clapped his hands to signal that everyone should find their seats, and I reluctantly left her. When I looked back, she was still watching me.

I was seated between the green-haired mer, Niari, and a human man. When I looked down the table I saw Shawn and her daughters, along with a few other humans. It was unusual for the merfolk to have so many “land-bound” guests at one time.

Over supper, the man next to me, who introduced himself as Jeck, told me their story. They were from a town in the North, in dragon country. It was a small town, but many of the people had strong magic. Orders had come from Luid for those with significant gifts to report immediately to the capital. They’d ignored the orders, and learned quickly how serious Severn could be when he wanted something. Some had escaped, but had been lost and freezing when they set up camp on a lakeside beach. The merfolk found them, and the humans had been staying at the Grotto ever since, acting as caretakers, cooking for the merfolk when they came up, making occasional trips to the surface, and trying to figure out what they were going to do next. He didn’t seem to know who I was, and I hoped no one would tell him.

I had Jeck talking to me on one side and Niari on the other asking me about life in Luid as we dined on fish, shellfish, fresh bread and roasted root vegetables. I think I answered and at least acted like I was listening, but Rowan kept distracting me. Before the meal was over she had the youngest mer child sitting on her lap, eating from her plate. She seemed to be making plenty of friends.

After much of the food and most of the wine were gone, a few volunteers cleared the tables. They brought out silver plates piled with desserts—my signal that it was time. I went to the piano and played a few of the songs that Cassia had helped me choose earlier. Music wasn’t a gift that my magic helped me with. I did a good enough job, but had to concentrate on the papers in front of me. I didn’t notice until after the fifth piece that Rowan was watching me. She looked melancholy, though her expression became animated again whenever someone spoke to her.

When the band finished their dessert and stepped up to replace me, people started pairing off and heading toward the dance floor. I offered my hand to Rowan before anyone else could. “Care to dance, my lady?”

She stood and gave me a strained smile as she took my hand. “I’m not very good at dancing,” she whispered.

“Doesn’t matter,” I told her. “It’s not very difficult. Is your head all right?”

“How did you—oh, never mind. It’s normal, I guess. Nothing to worry about.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No.”

I pulled her closer as we moved across the floor. “See?” I said. “You’re not even stepping on my toes.”

She smiled and rested her head against the front of my shoulder. “No, it’s good. Just like a dream.”

When the song ended, Kel came and asked if he could have a dance with Rowan. “No offense,” he told me. “She’s just a lot prettier than you are.”

“Probably looks better in a dress, too,” I added.

I turned to walk away and heard Kel say, “I hope we never have to find out.”

Rowan laughed.

I sat at the table to watch the dancers go by. “Hey,” Cassia said, and sat next to me. “Everything good?”

“Excellent,” I said, and she rolled her eyes at the undisguised lie. “Thank you for your help earlier.”

“Not a problem,” she said, and pulled her chair closer to mine. She leaned back and crossed her legs, revealing a slit in her skirt that reached almost as high as the dress dipped low in the back. She watched me, appearing deep in thought.

“What?”

“You’ve grown up a lot since the last time you were here.”

“I should hope so. You’ve hardly changed, though.”

“Mmm. Walk with me a minute?” I looked back at the dance floor. Rowan was still with Kel, and seemed to be enjoying herself. I followed Cassia back to the empty pool room I’d been in earlier. She sat on the bench and patted the spot next to her. “Sit.”

“Cassia I—”

“Just for a minute.”

A trio of children ran in after us and sat at the edge of the pool, splashing their toes in the water. The oldest boy stripped off his clothes and jumped in, changing to his tail before he resurfaced. I sat next to Cassia, and we watched them play for a few minutes. Cassia laughed when the boy in the water slapped his tail on the surface and sent up a fountain of water that missed his friends but soaked the messy pile of his own clothes.

“Are any of them yours?” I asked. “Biologically speaking, I mean.”

“Oh, heavens no,” she said. “I mean, I adore them, but I’d rather be auntie to all of my little darlings than go through all of that. I already have enough to deal with.” A little girl waved, and Cassia wiggled her fingers back at her.

Kel came in a few minutes later. “Rowan’s gone to lie down,” he said. “Her head was getting worse, I told her to go.”

“Where is she?”

“I took her up to her room. She said not to bother you, but I thought you’d want to know. Una’s up there with her, one of our healers.” Kel narrowed his eyes at Cassia. “What are you doing?”

“Just catching up,” she said. The mer boy pulled himself from the pool and changed back to legs, then chased the other children out of the room, dripping and yelling. Kel gave Cassia another suspicious look, then turned and followed them. Cassia placed her hand on my thigh.

“Cassia, please don’t.”

“Just listen. It doesn’t matter much to me either way, really. But you look fantastic, and it’s been a long time for us. If you’re lonely tonight, or bored, or if you’ve missed me, or whatever other excuses you people need…”

“I thought you and Rowan were friends now.”

She seemed surprised. “Oh, we are. I like her a lot. But she didn’t say you were hers.”

“No, I suppose she wouldn’t have.”

Cassia bit her lower lip and looked at me from under her dark eyelashes. She really hadn’t changed at all. She was still flawless. “Are you? Hers, I mean.”

“I think I am.”

She patted my leg, stood, and smoothed her dress over her hips. “Good to know. It’s too bad, but I know how it is with you humans.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Still friends?”

“Always.”

“Good. I’m going to see if Niles is still around.” She walked away, and I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands.

“Hey, mister, you okay?”

Dear gods, how many children do they have around here?
I didn’t remember so many when I was at the Grotto before. “I’m fine, thanks.”

It was the younger of the two girls we’d met earlier. I couldn’t remember her name. “Are you guys living here, too?” she asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh.”

“Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”

She plopped herself on the seat next to me. “Yeah, but Kel said he’d dance with me, and I can’t find him anywhere.”

“I’ll let you know if I see him.” She followed me back to the dance floor and rejoined her family, and I went to find Rowan.

Niari told me that Rowan’s room had a red door, of which there were two. I knocked at the first, and Kel opened the door.

“Your little lady friend is looking for you,” I told him.