Botanicaust (51 page)

Their god was no longer hers. She barely remembered anything but
singsong
prayers. But she remembered forgiveness. These men should forgive her. Forgive Eily. And if it meant feigning belief to keep the girl safe, Tula would do it to the end of her days.

Their god labels you an abomination
.

The stares of the men confirmed it. She dropped her chin to regard the dusty earth below her feet.

Sighing, Brother John removed his hat and wiped his brow before planting the brim back on his head.
“
I
’
ll call the Brethren to order.
”

The men with dogs maintained a wide circle around them as they crossed a field and passed between the crooked limbs of heavily laden fruit trees. A few rosy orbs lay scattered along the ground among partially filled baskets. Work had obviously stopped suddenly when the alarm sounded. The air in the orchard smelled sweet.
Apples
. Tula closed her eyes and inhaled deep with the memory.

They reached a weathered brick building slightly bigger than Tula
’
s bedroom back in the Protectorate. The slatted wooden door creaked, looking about to fall apart as a man opened it. He stood aside and pointed, his gaze above her head to avoid her nakedness. Swallowing, Tula continued inside with Eily. The door clapped shut, sealing her and Eily in darkness. With no windows, the building felt like a tomb.

She allowed Eily to sag to the dirt floor and then joined her, pulling the child half way onto her lap. She rocked her for a while, humming Jesus Loves Me as two thumb sized spots of sunlight drifted across the floor through chinks in the ceiling. Her plans to convert Levi
’
s people flitted through her mind, poisoned by the return of her memory. The Blattvolk were the very definition of evil. To accept such a transformation was to deny God.

Yet she didn
’
t remember denying God. She remembered being saved.

Eventually, voices outside drew her attention. The door squeaked open and a man with a lantern entered. Tula squinted her bleary eyes against the sudden light. Behind him, a woman hovered on the threshold. Beyond, two men with dogs stood watch. The man set down the lantern.
“
Brought some decent clothes.
”
He looked at a spot beyond Tula
’
s head.
“
Don
’
t try anything funny.
”

The woman stepped inside and with trembling arms held out a bundle of blue fabric. She looked slightly familiar, hair completely covered by a white bonnet, dark gray dress covering everything but her hands and face.
Mama?
No, Mama would be much older, now. But the dress was the same.

Gently pushing Eily from her lap, Tula rose to accept, self conscious about her nakedness. The robe had been inside the pack Levi had dropped on the plains. Eily was just as naked, small nipples barely beginning to bud into womanhood. The woman looked modestly to the side.

“
Thank you,
”
Tula said and allowed the blue fabric to unfold.
Two dresses and the smell of sunshine.
She pulled the larger one over her head, worked the hook and eye closures up the front. The man and woman seemed satisfied and started to leave.
“
Wait! Is Levi all right? When can I talk to Papa again?
”

They didn
’
t stop. The door banged shut. She was grateful they
’
d left the lantern. In the dusty yellow light, Tula dressed Eily like a doll. The girl didn
’
t resist, but she didn
’
t cooperate, either. Once the fabric was fastened beneath her chin, Tula took a good look and bit her lips.
A Haldanian face in an Old Order dress.

I likely look just as strange.

A part of both worlds, yet belonging to none.

T
he Holdout
Levi woke to the smell of frying ham. His stomach growled so
loudly,
he thought it might shake the house. Opening his eyes, he winced as pain lanced across his cheek, reminding him of the fence. The cannibals.
Tula and the twins.

He sat up,
then
regretted the movement as his head spun, but he didn
’
t allow himself to collapse. He had to blink to be sure he saw true.
His old room.
Sarah
’
s quilt bunched around his legs. Morning light leaked around the edges of the curtained window. He was home. The last few weeks had been a dream. Only they hadn
’
t, and he bore the burn marks on his shoulder and face to prove it.

“
Tula!
”
He flung the blankets off and swung his numb legs out of bed. Someone
—
probably Beth
—
had removed his shirt to treat his burns. A set of clothing waited for him on a chair near the door. He didn
’
t take time to dress.
“
Tula! Eily! Ana!
”
He stumbled to the kitchen where Beth stood over a huge cast iron skillet flipping eggs. She glanced his way,
then
quickly back to the skillet.

Samuel sat at the far end of the long kitchen table with his Bible open before him.
“
Levi.
”
His blue eyes held no warmth.

“
Brother Samuel. What happened? Where are Tula and the girls?
”

His brother-in-law closed the Bible and rose from his chair, the wooden legs scraping loudly against the floor.
“
The Elders wish to see you as soon as you are proper.
”
His judgment raked Levi head to toe, and Levi flushed. He was nearly naked.
No wonder Beth had not greeted him.

Knowing he
’
d get no answers until he dressed, he hurried back to his room and shoved his feet into trousers without removing the Fosselite short pants. His legs tingled as if on fire, an aftereffect of the fence. He buttoned his shirt and hooked his suspenders before thrusting his travel worn feet into knit socks. The boots felt tight after so long without shoes, but he laced them before turning to his shaving kit. The razor burned his skin, but soon his jaw and lip were clear. Now, Samuel could have no complaint.

Back in the common room, Samuel was gone, but Beth was elbow deep in dishwater at the kitchen sink.
“
I made you a plate.
”
She nodded to a platter loaded with fresh eggs, a flat ham steak, potatoes, and griddlecakes next to a pot of jam and lump of fresh butter. Levi almost gave in.

“
I have to know what happened to my friends.
”

He couldn
’
t read Beth
’
s face as she wiped her hands on her apron.
“
You
’
ll have to talk to the Elders. I only know what Samuel told me. They
’
re holding the Blattvolk in the abandoned milk house near the orchard.
”

Relief flooded him. God had saved them. Then guilt crashed down over him.
“
And Josef?
”

“
He is well. I took him fresh milk this morning. But he misses you.
”

“
I miss him.
”
More words stuck in his throat. He
’
d failed to get a cure. All he
’
d succeeded in doing was bringing more trouble to the Holdout.
You saved Eily and Ana.
The knowledge comforted him.

“
Beth.
”
He stepped forward but stopped short of taking her
hands
as he once would have.
“
These Blattvolk
—
they are not the abominations we think they are. They are people.
People who were changed against their will.
Not marked. They are Children of God. Tula knew the words to Jesus Loves Me before I met her. And Eily and Ana have been learning the Lord
’
s Prayer. They can be saved.
”

Her face softened.
“
You always were a dreamer. Eat. Then go see your son. Samuel and the Elders can wait.
”

As hungry as he was, he could hardly stomach food, but after a quick prayer of thanks, he wolfed down several bites and excused himself. So many things drew his
attention,
he didn
’
t know where to go first. He did as Beth suggested and strode toward the Ward, ignoring the curious stares of wives from lacy kitchen windows. The men and older children would be out in the fields. Annie Fiscer appeared at a back door and called to two small children on a swing suspended beneath an enormous shade tree. The scent of baking bread floated between the houses, mixed with the dry dust of the road. The acrid hint of the hog barn wafted his way and he smiled. He was home.

The largest building in the Holdout, the Ward looked the same as always
—
a two story brick structure with row upon row of monotonous windows. A wrap-around, covered porch lined with small chairs was currently empty. The surrounding yard had turned brown with autumn. A young woman named Mary knelt at the edge of an herb bed and collected seed heads. She had her back to him, and he didn
’
t bother to call out a greeting as he jumped the steps to the porch and opened one of the double doors.

Inside, the nurse greeted him with surprise.
“
Levi! I
…
didn
’
t expect you
…
so soon. Josef will be happy.
”
She led the way to the playroom where Josef sat at a small table wrapped in a blanket. Other children engaged in quiet activities, either together or alone, throughout the room. Laid out before Josef, several large, wooden puzzle pieces
waited to be fitted
together, but he only stared at them without moving. Next to him, a glass of milk looked untouched.

“
Josef.
”
Levi called, his heart in his throat. His joy at being home wilted into despair. The boy looked worse than he remembered. Purple smudges beneath yellowed eyes. Lips pasty and chapped. Cheeks hollow against his skull. So much like Sarah just before she died.

Josef looked up and drew a sharp breath that started him coughing.

Levi rushed to his side, ready for chest palpitations, but the coughing cleared.

“
Papa!
”
the boy cried and dropped the blanket from his shoulders to raise his arms.

The stick-thin limbs made Levi cringe. He lifted his child against his chest and held him gently.
“
Son.
”
He buried his nose in the boy
’
s thin hair, hating the scent of illness but breathing deeply, anyway.

Josef hiccoughed sobs against his shirt.
“
Why did you go away?
”

The question broke him.
All that time apart.
How could he tell his son it had all been for nothing?
“
I was trying to find a way to make you better. But the scientists turned out to be very bad men.
”

The voice of an older child interrupted his answer.
“
Mr. Kraybill? Is it true you went outside the fence?
”

He looked down into the face of a boy about twelve. The rest of the children in the room stopped their play to watch in rapt attention.
“
Yes. I did. And I have plenty of stories to tell all of you. But not now.
”
He set Josef back into his seat and pulled the blanket around his thin shoulders.
“
I brought some new friends I have to see. I hope you can all meet them soon.
”