Borrowed Vows (20 page)

“Is that what you think of me?”

“Pretty much.” Kathryn lowered her glance then. “No, that’s not true. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I do, it’s just that what happened just now was pretty grueling.”

The old woman sat down as well. “I know, my dear, but you had to endure it.”

“Why?”

“So that you would be able to judge exactly how you feel about Dane. You had to experience rejection at his hands; otherwise, how could you know the full range of emotion? You’d already tasted ecstasy, the depths of despair had to be sampled as well.”

“Well, I guess what I’m feeling right now is pretty much the pits,” Kathryn said quietly.

“A quaint expression.”

“But appropriate.”

“Yes.” Alice smiled a little.

“You were about to explain,” Kathryn prompted.

The old nurse hesitated before answering. “Yes, I am, but first I must tell you that you are right, things are no longer proceeding as they should.”

Alarm leapt through Kathryn. “What things?”

“Rosalind refuses to come back to her own time anymore. She has closed her mind to me and will not do as she must. At this very moment, in your future, she is packing to go back to New York. She intends to leave Gloucester tonight. She wishes to force you, you see.”

“Force me? I don’t understand.”

“She stands to gain everything she has ever yearned for, my dear. She wishes to be you forever, and relinquish her life in the past to you.”

Kathryn was thunderstruck. “Change places permanently, you mean?”

Alice reached over and touched her naked ring finger. “Yes, my dear, and that is how determined she is to break with the life she has always known. When Dane placed the ring on her finger, he—”

“Told her he would regard the marriage as over if she ever set the ring aside,” Kathryn finished for her, remembering what Alice had said at the very beginning of everything.

“Yes, my dear. She has always been very careful to wear it in front of him, but when she is with Thomas, she takes it off.”

“Dane has never deserved to be treated as she treats him,” Kathryn said quietly.

“No, but then love is a fierce emotion, and Rosalind loves Thomas very much indeed. I know her, and know exactly why she has removed the ring. It is a gesture of final rebellion against what she has long seen as the injustice of her position. She didn’t want to marry Dane, but obeyed her father, and she has regretted it ever since. She knew that if I learned about the ring, I would realize what she intended, so she made certain I remained in ignorance by closing her thoughts from me.” Alice smiled a little. “I did not know she could do it, and fear she is stronger and more cunning than I gave her credit for, but then she has a great deal to fight for. However, it has to be by mutual choice. Rosalind fears you may not agree, and so she is doing all she can to prevent you from returning to your own time. She does it because she is desperate to be with your husband.”

Kathryn sat back incredulously. “With
Richard
? But, why on earth would she want to go to him?”

“Answer me truthfully, Kathryn. When you first met Thomas Denham, what did you think of him?”

Kathryn looked at her. “He reminded me of Richard,” she admitted.

“Yes, because your husband isn’t only Larville by descent, he is also a Denham on his mother’s side, and all that was Thomas Denham has come out again in him.”

Kathryn was at a loss for words. Thomas and Richard were related? They shared the same DNA! But, of course, she could see it clearly now. Time and time again Thomas had put her in mind of Richard.

Alice looked wisely at her. “You and Richard are ill matched, my dear, and deep unhappiness awaits you both if you go back to him.”

“The divorce court awaits us,” Kathryn said flatly.

“But not if the woman who returns to him is Rosalind in your guise. She is his perfect wife, and she carries the child he longs for. He will think fate has smiled upon him after all, and for her it is the answer to her prayers. From the moment she conceived, she knew her existence was damned, for the child was conceived during Dane’s absence. With conception she had a premonition that Thomas would die at Dane’s hand.”

Kathryn drew a long breath. The story was incredible, but she knew it was the truth. Everything was as the old woman said.

Alice went on. “I first realized about Richard Vansomeren when you came here, my dear. From the moment you entered this house, I absorbed everything I needed to know, including your childlessness, your increasing unhappiness in your marriage, and your dissatisfaction with your, er, career.” Alice gave a slightly uncomfortable smile. “Forgive me, my dear, but I find it difficult to accept that a lady should be employed at a place of work.”

Kathryn glanced away. Work? She hadn’t given it so much as a passing thought for some time now. It was as if the TV station and Diane Weinburger had never existed. But then, in 1815, they hadn’t.

Alice continued. “I told Rosalind about you, and about Richard. She remembered I had once spoken of an ancient power, a way to transport people through time and exchange them with those of another age, and she begged me to try to do it for her. She saw it as the solution to everything, the perfect way of being with Thomas forever, and of making his child legitimate, albeit as a Vansomeren, not a Denham. But it wasn’t just for her sake I called you here to this past time; I did it for you too, my dear. I feel your unhappiness very keenly indeed, as I do Dane’s, for he is not the villain he is widely believed to be. I know that just as Rosalind is Richard’s perfect wife, so you are Dane’s, and I’ve brought you together to show you how you may be able to exchange marriages.”

“Trade husbands, you mean?” Kathryn ran a fingertip pensively along the grain of the wooden tabletop. “I can see why Rosalind thinks it’s all such a great idea, for she has nothing to lose. Thomas is going to die anyway, but sort-of exists again as Richard Vansomeren. She’ll look exactly like me, but with a new character that will be just up his street. They’ll be happy. But the way things are here in the past, it’s not going to be so hunky-dory for me, is it? Dane loathes the very sight of me right now, and I can’t say I blame him. He’s had two wives, and both have betrayed him with a Denham.”

“My dear, whatever his rage and hurt right now, nothing will diminish Dane’s love for you.”

“So you say.”

“So I know.” Alice leaned across to put a hand over Kathryn’s.

“But you don’t know what happens after midnight tonight, do you?” Kathryn pointed out. “Everything from that moment on is as much a mystery to you as it is to me.”

Alice lowered her eyes. “I cannot deny it, my dear. You must weigh everything very clearly, and you must do it for yourself. If you decide to come back here forever, you must do so in the full knowledge that you will never see America again. Everything about your modern life will be lost, never to be regained. You will be Lady Marchwood for the rest of your allotted span, with no guarantee that you will be reunited with Dane. Would that I could reassure you, Kathryn, but to do that would be wrong. I only know what my intuition tells me, which is that you and he will be very happy together. It also suggests that although I do not know exactly what takes place at the duel, you and Dane will come together.”

“How?”

The old woman sighed. “I don’t know. It’s all very well for me to tell you that you can rely upon your intuition, quite another for me to advise you to rely upon mine.”

Kathryn didn’t know what to say. It was as if she were being offered a tantalizing prize that might be snatched away if she reached out to take it.

Alice drew a long breath. “Until midnight, I will still have the power to send you into your own time once more, and then bring you back here forever if you so decide. But there will be no going back after that. Rosalind thinks that if she defies me until midnight, she will be able to escape into the future whether or not you wish to stay in the past. She believes that if she is in your place, you will have to stay in hers, and therefore in the past, but she is wrong. I can send you into the future at the same time she is there. You will both be separate personalities, but in the same time. I intend to do this, my dear, because you must be able to make your decision, and that means taking everything into account. You must see your modern life again, and be certain if you wish to leave it behind forever. Rosalind’s decision is made, but she cannot be allowed to make yours as well.”

Kathryn rose slowly to her feet. “Does that mean I’ll see her when I go back?”

“Yes, for she’s in this house now, albeit in another century.”

“And if I decide to keep my modern identity?”

“Then she has no choice but to return to her own time. But if you decide to change places with her, you must do so before midnight. After that it will be too late.”

“Will you still be here if I come back?”

“Yes.”

“And your intuition tells you Dane and I will be reunited?”

“Yes. Something will happen. I... I think you will expose some hidden truth about the duel.”

“You’re only guessing, aren’t you? You don’t know for sure, you’re just trusting your darned intuition.”

“Yes, my dear, and that means you have to decide whether or not Sir Dane Marchwood’s love is worth the sacrifice you may be making. You could come back here to great and lasting happiness, or to loneliness and permanent rejection.”

“Alice—” Kathryn’s voice broke off, for the old kitchen parlor had disappeared and she was standing at the foot of the modern staircase leading up to her apartment.

Chapter Twenty-two

For a moment or so she was more disorientated than usual. She held the stair handrail to steady herself, and then glanced down at her clothes. She was Kathryn Vansomeren again, and wearing the things she’d worn for the journey from New York. Some of her hand luggage was on the floor by her feet, and her coat was over the bottom banister. Rosalind was on the point of leaving!

As the realization sank in, she heard a cry of helpless disbelief from the floor above. She knew the English voice well, for it had been hers only a moment before, so she hurried up to push the apartment door open.

Rosalind was standing in the middle of the room in the dainty yellow-striped muslin gown that had so abruptly replaced her jeans, and her hands were visibly shaking as she touched the long telltale blonde curls cascading about her shoulders. Her face went pale as she saw Kathryn. “You!”

“Yes, me.” Kathryn closed the door and confronted her. God, what a weird situation this was. Like looking at a sister she never knew she had.

Rosalind backed away a little. “How...how are you here at the same time as me?”

“You underestimated Alice, just as she underestimated you. She’s sent me back again so I can decide for myself whether or not I want to change places with you,” Kathryn replied, unable to keep a certain coldness from her voice.

Rosalind felt it. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

“Why should I after what you just tried?”

“It was wrong of me, I know, but I can’t bear the thought of having to stay as my real self, not with things as they are.”

“It’s your own fault things are as they are,” Kathryn replied unfeelingly. All she could think was what this woman had done to Dane.

“I don’t deny it’s my own fault, but one cannot help falling in love with the wrong man.”

“True, but that doesn’t make it okay to try to get your own way regardless of the other half of this particular equation. Just how selfish can you get? You know you’ll go to Richard and everything will be fine, but you haven’t a clue what I might have to endure in your place, and to be honest, I don’t think you give a damn!”

Rosalind was stung. “That isn’t true! I wasn’t doing it entirely out of selfishness, I thought you loved Dane. Obviously you don’t.”

“Don’t presume to judge what I do or don’t feel,” Kathryn replied. Just who did this woman think she was?

“Well, do you love him?”

“Yes, as it happens, I do.”

“Then why don’t you want to stay with him?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to stay with him, I’m just angry with you for trying to force a decision on me. You’ve known about this ultimate choice for a little longer than me, maybe not a lot longer, but still long enough to come to terms with it. But then what’s there to come to terms with as far as you’re concerned? You get everything you’ve ever wanted if you become me, but I might not get anything if I become you. Dane despises the very sight of his wife right now, and who can blame him? I might never be able to regain his trust after this, so what sort of existence will I have then?”

“A better one than awaits me if I have to stay as my real self. Have you any idea what it’s like in my time to be the mother of an illegitimate baby? It is bad enough to endure the odium of being an adulterous wife, but to have a bastard child as well...” Rosalind put her hands to her abdomen, and turned away to hide sudden tears.

Kathryn was unmoved. All she could think of was the way Rosalind had attempted to make her do what she wanted. And the way she’d cheated on Dane. “If you’d been a proper wife to Dane ...” she began, but Rosalind turned sharply back to her.

“What makes you fit to cast the first stone? How can you find the nerve to stand there with your nose in the air and accuse me of being an imperfect wife?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kathryn demanded.

“It means I know you’re not as immaculate as you’d like to pretend, Kathryn Vansomeren. I’ve been you, remember, so I know all about Harry Swenson.”

Kathryn colored.

Rosalind’s green eyes flashed. “Oh, yes, I know how unfaithful you were with him, and as if that were not black mark enough against your supposed sanctity, there is the small matter of how carried away you’ve been with my husband! You’ve been having an adulterous affair with Dane behind Richard’s back. Well, it’s the truth, isn’t it? Each time you’ve made love with my husband, you’ve betrayed your marriage vows to your own!”

Kathryn stared at her. “I...” Her lips closed, for it was true. She was as guilty as Rosalind of breaking the seventh commandment, and she had been since Harry Swenson!