Born of Silence (81 page)

She drew a ragged breath. “I think I’ll be all right. Let’s try this again.”

“Are you sure?” Darling’s voice was filled with warm concern.

She nodded.

Carefully, he helped her to her feet.

Desideria handed her a small package that was wrapped in a lace kerchief. “It’s lerin root. Place a small bit under your tongue and it’ll help with the nausea.”

“Are you sure?” She’d never heard of it before.

“Absolutely. My people have been using it for hundreds of years, and other than some minor brain damage, which can’t really be linked to it, no one’s suffered from using it. And I’m pretty sure the brain damage comes later in the child’s life, like during training.” She winked at Zarya.

Laughing, Zarya tried it while Desideria put a bit under her own tongue, too.

She arched a curious brow that caused Desideria to blush.

“Yes, there’s a reason I just happen to have some on me.”

Zarya beamed for her and Caillen. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you, and I pray this one is a boy. I’m not sure poor Caillen could handle being surrounded by any more women during holiday meals.”

Zarya placed her hand over her stomach as she realized that her symptoms had all but vanished. Stunned, she widened her eyes. “It really does work. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll make sure and have Chayden bring you
more. I’m one of those women who has morning sickness from the moment of conception until birth. I hope you don’t.”

Her, too. She’d actually been lucky. This was her first bout of it.

But what timing…

Sorche returned her small bouquet to her. “You sure you feel up to this?”

Zarya glanced at Darling and smiled. “Absolutely.”

Maris kicked off his shoes, then scooted them toward Darling with his foot. “Change with me, hon. I’m not the one being broadcast all over the universe.”

Darling stepped away from her to exchange his shoes with Maris. “Thanks.”

“I would say anytime, but I hope we never have to do this again.” Maris smiled at her. “I love you, dearest, but I don’t want to wear your DNA.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Maris wrinkled his nose at her. “Don’t be. We’re all waiting for that little one to come out so we can spoil it unmercifully. I’ve always wanted to be an overindulgent aunt.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Jayne said graciously. “I promise you, this isn’t nearly as bad as my last pregnancy. I tossed all over my mother-in-law’s prized sofa that’s been in her family for three generations. I’m still banned from her house, and my baby’s about to start school.”

Zarya laughed.

While she and Jayne had gotten off to a bad start, she now counted the female assassin as one of her dearest friends.

Clapping her hands to get their attention, Gera took charge. “Emperor, we need you to leave now, and I’ll have the ladies and gentlemen resume their places.”

Zarya saw the hesitation in Darling’s expression. She placed her hand on his cheek again. Goodness, he was so breathtaking in
his royal uniform with those blue eyes gleaming at her. She hoped their baby had the same coloring as its father. “I’m fine, really. Desideria’s root is working miracles.”

“You know we won’t let anything happen to her,” Maris assured him.

Nodding, Darling took her hand and kissed it. “I’ll be waiting.” He made a formal bow, then reluctantly released her hand and left them.

Maris held his arm out to her. Since she had no male relatives left, he was doing her the honor of presenting her to Darling for the wedding.

Ture, Shahara, Lise, Desideria, and Sorche made up her wedding party. Kiara would have been here as well had she not gone into labor a few days ago. So both she and Nykyrian, and their entire brood, were attending via video uplinks.

Ture turned and frowned at her. “Oh give us a minute, please, Gera. I need to repair her makeup. We can’t have her going out there with it smeared.”

Gera gasped as she looked at her. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice.”

When Gera started forward to help, Ture placed a kind hand on her arm. “I have it, hon. Get the others ready and we’ll be right out. Mari? Can you run and get my bag out of our room? I have sealant in it that should keep her eyeliner from running again.”

As soon as they were gone, Ture pulled a tissue out of his sleeve and dabbed it under her right eye. “Look up.”

She did.

Ture quickly repaired her face, then smoothed her hair, and adjusted the small headdress that matched her maroon gown. Smiling in satisfaction, he straightened her official state necklace around her neck. “You are such a vision.”

She didn’t believe a word of it. Not for a minute, but she was grateful to him for his kindness.

“You’re the best, sweetie.” She straightened the ribbons on her bouquet. “Ture, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Not at all.”

“Are you really happy here?” He’d never been the kind of person who suffered pomp or ceremony well. And those were two things that Maris seemed to adore and thrive on.

His eyes brightened with exuberance. “Oh, honey, how could you doubt it for even a second? I never thought I’d be in love like this. But Mari…”

He smiled a smile that lit up his entire face. “He’s so funny and sweet. Considerate. And when he goes all military tough around me…” He shivered. “I now understand exactly what you meant when you talked about Darling. For the first time in my life, I honestly believe that Maris would walk through hell to keep me safe. I’ve never had that before, not once.”

It was true. Like Maris, Ture had been abandoned by everyone he’d ever loved.

His lips quivered. “I can’t thank you enough for introducing us.”

Was that a euphemism or what?

“I can’t believe you’re thanking me for getting you imprisoned and tortured.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Believe me when I say Maris is totally worth it.”

“I’m so glad you feel that way.” Returning his smile, she allowed him to take her outside to where the others waited.

He took the spray from Maris’s hand and quickly applied it to her face, then he stepped away.

She paused a second to glance at every member of the small group around her. This was her family now… A strange motley
bunch of tracers, pirates, aristos, and assassins. Yet they were the most decent beings in the universe and they were always here when she needed them.

Best of all, they cared. Truly and deeply about Darling and her. In all her life, she’d never imagined this as her reality.

And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just as Gera started to organize the procession, the doors opened.

Zarya was floored as Darling’s mother swept into the room with a grand flourish. Paying no attention to anyone else in the room, not even Lise, she planted herself in front of Zarya.

Her expression unreadable, Natale clutched at a small wooden box in her hands.

Please tell me that’s not an explosive device of some sort…

With Darling’s family, one could never tell.

“Have I missed the ceremony?”

“No, Momair,” Lise answered in a suspicious tone from behind her. “It was interrupted.”

Natale didn’t ask how or why, she merely gave a curt nod. “Good. I was afraid I’d run out of time. Now leave us.”

Without hesitation, Gera ushered the others out immediately. Except for Lise who moved to stand next to her mother. “Don’t tarnish this for Darling, I beg you. He deserves to have one normal, happy memory. Please, let him have it.”

She gave her daughter a withering glare. “Leave.”

Lise sighed before she obeyed.

Zarya was torn between the urge to slap Darling’s mother for all the things she’d put him through, and the one that wanted some answers about his past and why his mother had mistreated him when he’d done nothing to deserve it.

Lady Natale looked her up and down with that same emotionless gaze.

Zarya waited for Natale to judge her lacking.

And when his mother finally spoke, Zarya wasn’t sure if it was a set down or what. “You’re not showing yet. I’m sure that’s a relief to you.”

“Not really. I can’t wait until my belly shows and I can feel the baby moving.”

A sad light darkened her eyes. “It is one of the most miraculous experiences. That time when you know your child’s safe and that no one can hurt it. When it’s just the two of you, night and day. I used to talk to my babies all the time when I was pregnant. Dream about how they’d be once they arrived.”

Her lips curled into a bittersweet smile. “They’re never what you think they’ll be. But that’s not a bad thing. Every day they grow, they amaze you.”

Clearing her throat, Natale opened her small box and stared at its contents. “I know I shouldn’t be here. That neither you nor Darling wants me here, and I understand why. I almost didn’t come, but…” Her eyes clouded over as if she’d lost herself to some distant memory.

“But what?” Zarya prompted when she didn’t finish.

Tears glistened in Natale’s eyes as she placed the box in Zarya’s hand. “This belongs to Darling and I wanted him to have it from you. Don’t tell him I was here, please. Like Lise said, he deserves one happy, unspoiled memory, and I don’t want my presence to taint it.”

This wasn’t the selfish bitch she’d imagined Natale to be. Rather, she was a woman in extreme pain. One who did appear to care about her children.

So, why had she said such awful things to Darling?

“My lady, may I ask you something?”

Natale met Zarya’s gaze levelly and sincerely. “I know what you’re going to ask. I do love my son. Just as I love all my children.
But loving someone doesn’t mean that you always want to be around them. Whenever Darling looks at me, I see his hatred for me and I can’t stand it. He was always cold, even as an infant. He didn’t want me to hold him, not even to feed him. I tried not to let it bother me, but it was hard. He was my first child and I’d made all these plans about how close we’d be. Darling would have none of it. And when his father died, it became worse. When they brought him home from school for the funeral preparations, he wouldn’t even speak to me. When I met him at the door, he looked at me like he wished I was the one who’d died, and it killed something inside me. Something that has made me want to hurt him the same way he hurt me.”

“My lady, I think you greatly misjudged him. When Darling is deeply hurt by anything, he draws within himself. It’s not hatred. It’s how he copes. But if you don’t leave him alone, if you continue to stay with him, he will embrace you. It’s not immediate. But I promise you, he loves you more than you know.”

Natale squeezed her hand. “I’m glad he has you.”

Unsure of how to respond, Zarya looked down at the box to find a man’s wedding band inside. “I don’t understand. What is this?”

“It’s the royal governor’s matrimonial seal that is presented to every governor by his first wife at their wedding. I took it off Drux’s hand before Arturo could steal it, and… I’ve kept it safe for this day.” Her hand visibly shaking, she wiped at her eyes. “Given Darling’s declared homosexuality, I thought it would be Drake who wore it. But I’m glad to see it go to Darling.”

Clearing her throat, Natale picked it up to show it to Zarya. “When Darling was little, his father would take it off and place it on his tiny finger before he made Darling recite his rules of conduct. I always waited for Darling to protest having to do it, but
he was such a little man about it. All he wanted was to please his father and make him proud. He would clench his hand.” Natale demonstrated it with her own fist. “And stand tall, then repeat all twenty flawlessly. When he was done, he’d take the ring off and stare at it in awe. And every time he gave it back to his father, he’d promise that one day he would be the best governor Caron ever had.”

Her eyes filled with agony, Natale covered her mouth with her hand. “Unlike Drake and Lise, he actually remembers his father. The two of them were
so
close. Darling worshiped the ground he stood on.” She swallowed and lowered her hand. “He’s just like his father, you know? It’s so hard to look at him sometimes when all I see is everything I’ve lost. He has Drux’s voice and his bearing and mannerisms.” She almost broke down into tears again, but somehow she caught herself. “Anyway, I should go now and leave you to him.”

Zarya placed her hand on her arm. “Please, don’t.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I think, I do. Both of my parents are dead, and you’re the only one Darling has. Please honor him by attending the ceremony. I know it would mean a lot to him to have you here. He does love you, my lady. He always has.”

“And I do love him… It’s just been so hard at times. But if you’re sure…”

“I am.”

Nodding, Natale squeezed her hand, then left.

Zarya wasn’t sure if his mother had really stayed for the ceremony or not until they opened the doors to the chapel. Natale stood just a few feet away from Darling.

The moment her gaze met his, Zarya felt a rush of heat go through her. Even though they were married, she still trembled as
the weight of her position hit her. After this, she would officially be the Grand Empress of Caron. One day, her child…
their
child would rule this empire.