Born of Fire (30 page)

In front of her was a huge stuffed chair that faced a solid steel-glass wall. Stars and gases twinkled and swirled in the depths of space with varying colors that looked like a living garden. She felt as though she were out in space and not in a station at all.

Syn took the backpack from her shoulder. “Are you hungry?”

Her stomach rumbled an answer.

“I guess you are.” He dropped their packs by his desk before heading toward the kitchen.

“This place is enormous.” She walked over to the kitchen counter.

“It beats what I grew up in, that’s for sure.” He paused in front of a food processor, then pulled her around to see what he was doing. “Here’s a list of the various menus. Choose what you want by simply pushing it.” He touched the screen and the item he’d chosen immediately flashed, then changed screens. “When you pull up a dish, it displays the ingredients and you can add or delete whatever you want.”

She was awed by the device. “Wow, this is high-tech.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t cook any better than you can and this was a lot cheaper than hiring a cook to hang around.”

Shahara gave him a wicked grin. “I’ve never had synthetic food before—how is it?”

He gave her a droll stare. “Given what you fed me this morning, why are you even questioning it?”

He did have a point.

Then he continued, “Most of the time you can’t tell a difference, but stay away from the fish. It comes out rubbery.”

“Gotcha.”

Syn showed her where he kept the silver and linen, then left her to play.

“You want anything?” she asked as he walked to his desk.

“No thanks, I’m not hungry.”

Nodding, she returned to playing with the menu. This was the coolest thing she’d ever seen. It had food from all kinds of planets and cultures.

What I wouldn’t give to have this in my house.
Of course it probably cost more than her entire building, but still . . .

Syn began filtering through his voicemail.

Shahara listened to them and was instantly bored. They were all from clients wanting to hire him or discuss shipments with him, sales people trying to schedule appointments, pilots wanting jobs, or his employees with various problems.

Taking her food out of the small countertop cubicle where it appeared, she moved to the table. As she
pulled back the solitary chair, she made a startlingly realization.

Everything in this office was designed for only one person.

Everything.

She glanced around to make sure she wasn’t jumping to conclusions, and sure enough, there was only one arm chair, one dining chair and the one desk chair he was currently sitting in.

He was utterly alone.

Her heart wrenched for him. It wasn’t that she’d never made that connection before, but it was only now that the full implication of it hit her that she really understood what that meant.

And it was a brutal realization.

No one in any message ever asked him how he was doing or bothered with friendly chitchat. No more so than any of the people they had passed in the hallway. He’d been gone for over a week, tortured, beaten, and almost killed, and there was no one asking him where he’d been. No one worried that something might have happened to him.

I should warn you, you’ll starve to death long before anyone misses me and thinks to come here to see if I’m all right
. His words echoed in her head. He hadn’t been joking that night in his apartment.

That was what he’d meant by not having distractions. No one ever bothered to talk to him. Spend time with him.

He was alone.

While he and Caillen were friends, they didn’t really spend that much time together.

And to think, she’d spent years bemoaning the fact
that she couldn’t have five minutes of peace without one of her siblings either calling her or stopping by.

If she’d ever left without telling one of them exactly where she was and when she’d be back, they would take turns jumping all over her.

Syn had never known that.

No one ever missed him.
Except for Vik, who was lying next the computer where Syn worked. How sad that the one thing to miss him most was a robot he’d created in his childhood.

Because he had no other friend
. . .

Shahara swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. How lonely it must be. How tragic that a man so giving had no one but strangers to give to.

“What do you do for holidays?” she asked before she could stop herself.

He stopped the playback and looked up from the notes he was taking. “What?”

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, she cleared her throat before she spoke again. “I was just wondering what someone with your kind of money did on special occasions.”

His expression bland, he answered drily, “I drink.” He returned to his work.

Biting her lip, Shahara looked back at her food and realized she wasn’t hungry after all.

God, how she wanted to walk over to him and hug him. To let him know that he didn’t have to be alone like this. It would be so easy and yet it was far too difficult for her. She would never be able to give him that comfort.

After all, it wasn’t her place. They were strangers trapped in a desperate situation. She was nothing to him.

But as she watched him, she realized she didn’t want to be nothing where he was concerned. She wanted to be like her brother and call him friend.

She’d seen enough to know that he was the best friend anyone could ever have.

At last the calls stopped. Syn turned his back to her and began hammering away at an old-fashioned keyboard.

Shahara pushed her food around her plate while she looked around the room again. Her gaze paused on the piano. He must really like to play, given that he owned two of them. But that, too, seemed incongruous to her.

When had he learned it? Who had taught him?

“What’s your mother’s birthday?”

She looked back at Syn. “What?”

“Your mother’s birthday. What is it?”

Her defenses went into hyperdrive. “Why do you want to know that?”

He let out a sound of utter aggravation. “After all her questions, she won’t answer one simple one for me.” He shook his head. “I’m leaving a message coded for Caillen. I thought I’d lock it with something only he would know.”

Shahara raked him with a skeptical look. “Are you telling me that the great computer filch can’t find out a simple birthday?”

He snorted. “Yeah, I could access her medical records, but it’d be a lot faster if you simply gave it to me.”

“8510.25.3.”

“Thank you.”

Shahara carried her plate to the sink, then, taking her drink, she went over to the desk. “What are you doing anyway?”

“Nothing.”

As she scanned what he’d been working on, she gasped. “Is that your will?”

He darkened the page. “It’s nothing.”

Setting her glass down on his desk, Shahara was stunned by his actions. “Why would you leave everything to Caillen?”

Syn started to move away.

She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Why?”

“I don’t have anyone else to leave it to,” he said, shrugging her grip away.

“What about Nykyrian?”

“He doesn’t need any more money and neither does Darling.”

“What about your son?”

“He has a large enough trust fund already. Believe me.”

His features impassive, he moved to stand before the windows and stare out into the darkness. Shahara wondered how often he did that and something inside told her that he must do it a lot.

She ached for him. Ached for a way to ease the pain that must haunt him.

What would it be like to be all alone? To have no one to talk over problems with? No one to share birthdays with?

He’d lived that way most of his life. Yes, he had friends but they all lived independent lives.

Wanting to comfort him, she went to stand beside him. “Tell me about Kiara Zamir’s murder. How were you involved?”

His jaw turned to steel.

“I’m not accusing you of it,” she said quickly. “I just want to know how you got blamed for it.”

His jaw eased a little. “It’s simple really. We were
hired to protect her. Because of his past with The League, Nykyrian has a lot of enemies out to kill him. One of them took the contract out on Kiara and Kip as just bonus pay.”

“Kip?”

“My nickname for Nykyrian. Anyway, we were keeping her at her flat when one of the assassins and his team showed up for them. We had to move her before her father could approve the new location. Needless to say, he overreacted to us moving her without his knowledge.”

“Where did you take her?”

“Nykyrian’s place. It’s where they both are right now, shacked up in suicidal bliss. Crippin’ idiots.”

She didn’t understand the problem, if that was all there was to it. “Why doesn’t Nykyrian return her?”

The look he gave her was chilling. “He would rather die than give her up. They are
in love
.” Could there be any more loathing added to his tone?

“And you’re caught in the middle of it?”

He nodded. “I signed the contract and took responsibility for the princess. In her father’s mind, I’m as guilty of kidnaping her as Nykyrian is.”

“What about the rape charges?”

“That one baffles me, but I guess in his mind we are low enough that if we have her, we must be animals enough to rape her. ’Cause let’s face it, we’re unconscionable scum.”

She hated the fact that he was right. To the upper crust, they were garbage, barely one step up from rodents. “Surely you can explain it to him.”

He snorted. “Have you ever tried to reason with an aristo? Mercy and understanding aren’t exactly things they concern themselves with. Killing us plebs is.”

That was certainly true enough.

“Doesn’t it anger you?”

“Every minute of my life, but there’s nothing I can do about it. It is what it is. Just like I can’t help being hunted down and tortured because I know a secret about another aristo.” His look cut through her.

She glanced away, ashamed of how wrong she’d been to do to him what she had.

“I’m going to call Caillen,” he said quietly. “You want to speak to him?”

Before she could answer he added, “On second thought, let me call first and then you call him. He’d have a fit if he knew we were together, and I’m really too tired to deal with his crap right now.”

Shahara nodded at his wisdom and watched him while he made the call. She sighed as the line buzzed. As usual, Caillen wasn’t home.

“Hey, Cai,” Syn said as he left a message. “I wanted you to know that I’ve already taken care of this week’s pay and I’m leaving you a hefty bonus. If you need more, just pull it from petty cash and we’ll settle it up later. I don’t want you doing another run through Solaras. Damn, boy, get a brain. Stay safe and I’ll catch up to you soon.” He cut the transmission. “You want to call?”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait.” If she called too close after Syn, he might get suspicious. Especially if Kasen had told him the two of them were last seen together.

That could get really bloody.

Syn let out a long breath. “I’m sure you’re tired, so follow me to the bedroom.” He went over to the door beside the kitchen and pressed the controls.

Once more, her mouth dropped. A jumbo-sized, ebony-wood bed was set next to another window with a breathtaking view. The cream-colored silk comforter and pillows looked as soft as a cloud.

The bed’s ornately carved headboard matched the geometric design of the ebony-wood dresser and nightstand. There were also more paintings on the walls, originals she was sure.

He stepped into the room and opened another door to the left. “The bathroom’s in here. You’ll find plenty of fresh linens and soap. I don’t really have anything for you to sleep in, but if you want to clean your clothes, you can borrow one of my shirts from the closet.”

Putting her head inside the bathroom, she saw the personal-sized clothes washer and dryer set into the wall.

“Do you need anything else?”

Just you, she thought, but she knew she could never say that aloud. “I think I have it.”

“All right, I’ll be outside reviewing data on the Rits and their activities if you need me.”

And then he was gone.

Shahara took a seat on the bed and wondered how many nights Syn had lain here, alone, and watched the quiet peacefulness of space. Did it soothe him? Or did it just make him feel all the more lonely?

“Oh, what does it matter?” she whispered. “He has his life and you have yours.” And the two of them could never be together. She couldn’t even stand for a man to touch her.

So why did she keep imagining fantasies of them together?

It just wasn’t meant to be.

“At least you have a family,” she said with a sigh. But right now, that wasn’t much comfort at all.

Syn heard Shahara moving around in his bedroom and it made him hard enough he could hammer a steel spike with his erection. She’d left the shower several
minutes ago and he was sure she was digging around his closet. An image of her wet, naked body flashed before his eyes and he cursed.

“Focus, rat,” he snarled, looking back at his sat readouts. “You’ve got a lot of info to cover and not that much time.”

Still, his mind tortured him with thoughts of her beneath him until he feared he’d lose what sanity he had left.

What was wrong with him? He’d tried this before and look what had happened. He’d had his heart torn apart.

His past would never let him be and it would forever separate him from any other person.

Caillen doesn’t see you that way. Maybe she won’t either.

He paused at the thought. It was true. Neither Kasen nor Caillen ever threw his past back at him. They treated him like a friend.

And if they could, maybe, just maybe, Shahara could too.

“Stop it,” he growled at himself. “Don’t do this. You’re being stupid.” Because at the end of the day, they didn’t know as much about him as Shahara did. They only knew a very sanitized version of his past.

Hell, for that matter, she only knew a sanitized version.

Even so, he couldn’t quite stifle the tiny voice in his head that begged him to take one more chance.