Born (32 page)

"Thinking about me?"

I look up at Will. I shake my head and
blush more.

He still looks pissed. "My
brother?"

I frown.

He shakes his head, "Then I don’t
even want to know who else you’ve been kissing."

I am tired and still feel sick and it's
only just dusk. I get up and leave. He grabs my arm not realizing it's been
shot.

I wince and cry out.

"Emma are you okay?"

I nod but cradle the arm in my other one.
"I got shot."

He sighs and pulls me into him,
"Stop pushing me away Emma. Let me take care of you." He lifts me up
and carries me away from the noise. There is so much of it. I notice a buzz in
my ears when we are far away from it.

I lie perfectly still in his arms and let
myself enjoy my damsel in distress moment. He makes me want to act feeble and
give into it. I wonder for a brief second if Star used to be a competent girl and
he ruined her. I tighten up.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He set me down on a log, "What? I
felt you tense."

"It's nothing. I was just wondering
something."

"And that was?"

"Did Star used to be a normal girl
or has she always been the puppy dog that follows you around? Did you ruin
her?"

He laughs and rubs his eyes. He looks
exhausted. "Oh Emma. You drive me insane. Can't you just leave it alone?
It's private."

My brow knits, "I can yeah." I
climb off the log and walk away. He grabs my arm again and I cry out.

He winces, "Sorry. I keep
forgetting."

I mutter, "Yeah I know exactly how
that feels. I watch you sing and be sweet and I forget what you're really
like."

He looks like he's holding his breath but
then he speaks. "She was raped savagely. Imagine the worst thing you can
think of happening to a fifteen-year-old girl. I was escaping and I saw them. I
tell everyone I met her at the breeder farms but that’s not entirely the truth
of it. She was in the back of the truck with four of them in the parking lot.
There were a few of them back there. It was the most disturbing thing I've ever
seen."

I shiver and gag a little. The women who
were kept behind. Their faces will haunt me the rest of my life. I remember
them sitting at the back of the truck. I remember the screams.

"I saved her. I saved them. That's
it."

"How?" I feel like an ass. I
wish I could take it back.

"I killed them. I killed all four of
them. She's been very, uh, well, grateful ever since."

Grateful…Gross…
 
"Grateful?"

"She thinks I'm her knight in shining
armor. I take care of her. She goes where I go. She cooks for me and stuff.
Grateful."

Angry words fly from my lips. "She's
grateful that's disgusting. She doesn’t act like any victim I've ever seen. The
women I've seen who were raped are timid and shy. She acts like a whore. She's
always half naked and hanging off you."

"Emma!"

I know it's the wrong thing to say but
it's the way it seems to me. No one talks about the things that are right in
front of them.

He takes one of his giant steps and holds
my arms. I don’t cry out. I tremble. His fingers bite right into the wounds on
me.

He shakes me slightly, "Why would
you say such a horrid thing. If I ever hear you say that again…look at
me."

I don’t. Tears flood my eyes. His fingers
dig and scrape my gunshot.

He tilts my face but I avert my eyes. I
break from his grip and run. I head back to the camp.

He grabs at me but Leo has had enough of
his manhandling and so have I.

When his hand grabs my non-wounded arm
this time, Leo dives at him and knocks him to the ground. He growls at Wills
throat.

I wrap my hand around my wound to try to
stop the warm liquid running down my arm, where Mona has butterflied it. His
eyes notice the red liquid seeping through my fingers. I see his regret.

"I just can't stop hurting you."
His words sound broken somehow. They don’t make complete sounds. "You just
make me so mad."

Through the tears I don't see him
clearly. I still see the man I am madly in love with. I still hear his haunting
voice filling the smoky forest. "I think you need a girl like Star. She
always needs you to rescue her. I'm not the right girl for you. I think that's
the thing I like the most about your brother. He just wants to be with me. He
doesn’t want to try to run me or save me. Do me a favor when we get to the
camp, just stay there. I don’t want or need your help."

For the first time I see pain on his
face, real pain.

I don’t feel the satisfaction I think I
will. The ache in my heart feels like it's fractured. I feel dizzy. I turn away
from the pain I've caused and walk to Mona who can repair my arm at least. I'm
not sure what to do about my heart though.

xxxx

Seeing the camp and the excitement on
everyone's faces should have been enough. Sister's reuniting. Husbands and
wives embracing in fits of kissing and tears. This should be the payment for
the pain but my heart feels barren and dry.

I spin in a circle and watch the
villagers running at loved ones and strangers alike. Tears of joy and
excitement are everywhere, at every turn.

A pair of dark eyes watches me from the
corner. I smile at them. He laughs and shakes his head. He points at his tent
and then me. I walk to him, but not fast enough. I am still in the crowd when
Star comes running at Will and jumps into his huge arms. I heave a bit. He hugs
her. Tears build a dam in my throat.

Marshall slams me on the back in what
would be a friendly pat on a man's back. My tiny back aches from it. "You
are a real pain in my ass. I should have killed you when I had the chance. I'm
not even kidding. I knew you were trouble the minute I met you. Too damned
smart and too damned cute." He paces the tent when we get inside.

I stand ready to receive the only real
tongue-lashing I have ever endured. Part of me wants to cry. The other part
refuses and forces the snotty look my father hated across my face.

Instead of screaming at me like I assume
he will his face turns bright red and he smiles, "How? How did you do it?
How did so many get away?"

I'm stumped. He's being nice. Nice-ish.

"Luck." It's all I really have
to offer.

He watches me for a minute and then belts
out the most terrifying laugh I've ever heard. I jump, startled by the sound.

Leo is at the entrance growling. I waved
my hand at my thigh to signal.

"You cheeky damn bitch. Luck. Luck
she says." He wipes his eyes. He's apparently crying he's laughing so
hard. "Okay was there another aspect of the mission you felt was
successful beyond luck?"

I watch his dark eyes and nod warily,
"I found a scientist friend of yours who told me about a self destruct
panel in the basement. It's for if the infection makes it's way into the
farm."

His eyes widen, "Does every farm
have one?"

I nod again feeling less frightened by
him, "Yeah. I guess a lot of places have them. They still fear the
infection. It got into a breeder farm not too long ago so they installed the
bomb things to implode the building."

His eyes twinkle. He's hiding something.

"You did a good job. You're a pain
in the ass and I have no idea how to feed them all but you did amazing. I heard
that you did it all alone."

I shake my head, "No. Leo helped
tons."

He tilts his head at the growling wolf in
the flap of the small tent, "The wolf?"

"Yeah. And actually Will and
everyone got the children and younger girls out. I only got the pregnant and
newborn wards out. And honestly that was your scientist friend who did that.
Not me. A lot of women and babies didn’t make it though. Your friend died too.
Honorably. He was carrying a young woman to safety."

"It's always sad when life is
lost."

"It's worse when you are the reason
for it." I don’t expect he will coddle me for my mistakes. He doesn’t
surprise me with any kindness.

He plays with his beard and thinks.
"When can you be ready again?"

I don’t understand. "What?"

"The closest breeder farm is many
days away but your idea with the truck ambush was pretty smart. It would
work."

I feel panic rising in me. He wants me to
go back.

A deep voice speaks behind us, "She
was dead on. If it hadn’t been for the infected she would have had us in there
no problem. We could have used the truck to get women out easier too."

I don’t turn around. I hate him.

Marshall watches my face and nods at me,
"You can go clean up kid." I turn to leave but Will takes up the
entire opening of the tent. He doesn’t move.

"Marshall I think she should take the
women to the retreat. It's far and hidden." His huge chest is in my face
and taking up all of the space in front of me.

I turn back to Marshall. He looks at me
and plays with his beard more. "You willing to lead them? I was thinking
you could head to the next one once your wounds are better."

Will cuts in again. "Marshall me and
the guys have this. We can use whatever women are in the trucks as bait. She
doesn’t need to come. She should go to the retreat and stay there."

 
I hate him. He's trying to tuck me in like I'm a little girl.
Like I'm his responsibility. Like he speaks for me.

Marshall watches me. I shake my head,
"I just need a week or so to rest. I'm pretty injured and tired."

He shrugs, "Too long. I guess we
could do it without you. I just don’t want to worry about the farms figuring
out our ways and adding more guards and snipers."

I blurt, "I'll do it. I'll get ready
to leave later tomorrow. I need some sleep though for now."

He cheers up, "That’s my girl.
Excellent. Get the medics to take a look at all those wounds."

Will doesn’t move. "Marshall she
should be staying with the women. She knows the way better than anyone."

Marshall beams at me, "It's up to
her Will. She's a big girl."

I smile at Marshall and turn to face the
huge chest in my way. I don’t look up at his face I speak directly to his
chest, "Can I just get past you?"

"No. You're bleeding again." He
takes my hand softly and pulls gently.

"She needs rest Will." Marshall
shouts as I am dragged from the tent.

"Thanks Marshall."

Will leads me to the medic tents. His
grip on my hand tightens the thicker the crowd gets. I try to pull my hand away
but it only earns me a sore hand.

"Emma! Will!"

I turn to see Jake bounding to me. His
run appears improved. He runs and pulls me right out of Wills hand. He hugs me
and spins me. I pinch his skin. I don’t believe he is real.

"Ouch! What the heck was that
for?"

I lean in and smell him. "You're
real."

He laughs. "Of course I am. Hey
Willy. Anna's here too. We came to help out in the fight!"

Will puts his arm around Jake.
"Jakey. Where is she? Where is Anna?" I hate it when he calls him
that. I end up in the middle of the two of them and being hugged by both.

"She's at the tent with the food.
She is determined to maintain her plump breeder farm look. I heard shit went
nuts with your rescue mission. You guys scared me. No one thought you'd make it
back." Jake says. How did he know? How did the camp know that? A screaming
Anna interrupts my thoughts.

"Will! Emma!" I looked up to
see Anna running to us. She is holding a leg of meat.

I wiggle out of their arms and attack her
with a fierce hug.

She hugs me so tightly her muscles
tremble. Only she will ever truly understand what I have been through. We share
the moment. Nothing is spoken. It doesn’t need to be. She knows what I went
back to. She knows what I saw. She was there when the bags ripped.

She squeezes me and laughs, "You
scared me, dick."

"I scared myself."

She pulls me back and kisses the tip of
my nose. "Stop doing that to me."

"Yeah. One day maybe." I say.
I'm dreading leaving again tomorrow. My feet ache at the prospect of it.

Jake frowns, "Huh?" He looks at
Will. Will shakes his head.

Anna lets me go and hugs Will. They are
less cold around each other since the retreat. The music made them see each
other again. Leo squeezes his way in and Anna drops to her knees and hugs him
hard.

"How's it the dog gets more love
that I do?" Will crosses his arms.

Jake shrugs and punches his arm lightly,
"We're chopped liver dude."