Born Bad (29 page)

He raised his glass. ‘Here’s to putting the past behind us, and looking to the future.’

Everyone drank to that; although some had more reason to suffer a pang of conscience than others.

Afterwards they talked
of all things interesting and personal. They laughed when Don told comical stories of himself and the dog, who pricked up her ears when she heard her name and yawned hugely – a terrifying sight. Then they commended Brian on his recent promotion; albeit rather a modest one.

Yet, even though her name was not mentioned again, the atmosphere was tainted by the previous discussion about Judy, so much
so that Mac and Rita made their excuses rather too soon. ‘Got to unpack the suitcase,’ Rita apologised, ‘before the clothes are creased beyond redemption.’

Mac suggested, ‘We’ve got the weekend before us though, so maybe we could all go somewhere exciting, eh? What d’you say? Let’s think about it and I’ll call you in the morning.’

They said their goodbyes and together with Brian and Nancy, Don
waved them off. He then hobbled off into the back garden; the only place he was allowed to have a puff of his trusty old pipe.

Nancy’s shrill voice followed him, ‘Uncle Mac said he would ring in the morning,’ she yelled. ‘… and he will! You’ll see.’

‘Really.’ Under his breath he was chattering and grumbling to himself, ‘I’ll bet my next week’s baccy allowance, we won’t hear another word from
either of ’em, until they’re back home.’

Putting distance between himself and the family, Mac drove on to Leighton Buzzard. Mentally reflecting on the unsettling conversation, he confessed to his wife, ‘I must say, that business about Judy made me feel really uncomfortable.’

The same sentiments were running through Rita’s mind. ‘I thought Nancy’s outburst was awful!’ she said. ‘So full of
hatred and self-righteousness – and against her own sister too. It seems no one will ever be able to forgive poor Judy.’

‘Ah, but can you blame them?’ Mac asked now. ‘By the sounds of it, she brought it all down on herself.’

‘I don’t see how that could be,’ Rita argued. ‘Judy was only a child – barely fourteen. A girl can’t get pregnant on her own … Some man was involved, that’s for sure. And
why would she never let on who the father was, eh? I mean, if she’d had the courage to name him, she could have saved herself a whole heap of trouble.’

‘Maybe she was protecting the man.’

‘But why would she want to do that?’

‘
I
don’t know, do I?’ Manoeuvring the car round a bend, Mac suggested, ‘Maybe she loved him and didn’t want to get him into trouble. You do realise he would have been put
away – for having intercourse with a minor and all that.’

‘There could be another reason,’ Rita said slowly.

‘And what’s that then?’

‘Maybe he forced himself on her, and then threatened her with all kinds of trouble if she ever told. Maybe Judy was too terrified to give his name.’

‘Now you’re getting melodramatic.’

‘Think about it, Mac.’ She had the bit between her teeth now. ‘If the man
really did force himself on her, he was obviously wicked enough to hurt her worse if she ever told on him. That’s why she couldn’t tell. That’s partly why the family threw her out – not only because she was with child, but because she would not give his name. So they had no choice but to think she was every bit as bad as him.’

Mac was shocked. ‘I never knew you had such a criminal mind,’ he said
with a low chuckle. ‘You should have been a detective.’

Rita smiled. ‘Oh sorry, I did get a bit carried away there, but I was only wondering what kind of man would have relations with a minor, get her pregnant and then leave her to take all the blame. He must have known how her family would react when they found out she was expecting – that they might not stand by her, but throw her out of house
and home … disown her.’

Mac had an answer for that too. ‘Maybe she never even told him, until it was too late and she had already told the family.’

‘Maybe she never told him at all.’ Rita could barely imagine what Judy must have suffered. ‘All the same, if and when she
did
tell him, he should have come forward.’ Her mind was made up. ‘As far as I’m concerned, whoever he is, he’s not only wicked,
but a downright coward into the bargain.’

‘Maybe he and Judy made a pact,’ Mac argued. ‘Maybe he persuaded her that if she told, he would go to jail and that the shock to his family would be devastating.’

‘That would have served him right too.’ Rita was unrelenting. ‘They would have seen what a monster he was, to have taken advantage of a young girl.’ Rightly or wrongly, she was on Judy’s side.
‘Going to jail would have been too good for him. He should have been shot, that’s what I say!’

‘Whoa!’ Mac smiled. ‘That’s a bit strong, coming from you.’

With her judgement slightly affected by the wine, Rita was not about to let the subject go. ‘Mac?’

‘Yes?’

‘Who do
you
think it was?’ she asked. ‘Who could have been so wicked as to put a fourteen-year-old girl in the family way, and then
leave her to suffer the consequences?’

Mac cast his mind back. ‘From what I can remember, Nancy was convinced that the person responsible was that lad Harry Blake. You remember his parents died tragically, and Irish Kathleen gave him a home. According to Nancy, that was when Judy and Harry became sweethearts.’

But his wife was having none of it. ‘I know that was what Nancy claimed, but I should
have thought Harry Blake was too busy grieving for his parents to think about much else. Anyway, he wasn’t that much older than Judy, was he? Only by three or four years.’

Mac gave a smutty chuckle. ‘Old enough though, eh?’

‘There’s no need to be vulgar!’ snapped Rita. ‘I don’t care what any of you say, I never really believed it was him. The boy seemed decent enough, and besides, he really
cared for Judy. They were best mates, always looking out for each other. Harry would never have done anything to hurt her.’

‘Whatever you say, my dear.’ Growing irritated by her constant probing, Mac had already moved on in his thinking. ‘Where do you think Don found Judy?’ he asked. ‘Was it somewhere local, d’you think?’

‘I have no idea,’ Rita replied. ‘But I’m pleased that he at least made
the effort to track her down. You know, I always thought it was too harsh a punishment for little Judy. Mind you, I understand it was Judy’s
mother
who actually kicked her out, and not Don himself.’

‘Ah well, I’ve never been surprised about that. You know what Norma was like … too full of herself, what with her fancy ideas and tendency to look down on other folks. Nancy takes after her.’

Rita
chuckled about that. ‘She does come over a bit primadonna sometimes, but I do believe Don and Brian, and particularly Sammie, manage to keep her in line.’

Mac smiled. ‘Young Sammie is a strong-minded girl,’ he said, ‘but in a different way from her mother. Sammie is softer, more balanced, with a much happier disposition. It’s only when she knows she’s right, that she digs her heels in.’ He laughed
out loud. ‘I dare say she and Nancy find themselves at loggerheads more often than not.’

‘Do you think she’s pretty?’

‘Who – Nancy?’

‘No, silly! I mean Sammie. Do you think she’s pretty?’

‘That’s an odd question.’

‘I know, but
do
you?’

‘I’m not sure. She’s not what you’d call beautiful, and maybe pretty isn’t the right description either. Sammie is more … striking?’ He searched for the right
word. ‘More … Oh what’s the word?’

‘Alive?’

‘Yes, you’re right, that’s it. Sammie is more alive than pretty.’ He turned to smile at her. ‘Why do you ask?’

Rita shrugged. ‘No particular reason.’

There was a moment of quiet before she spoke again. ‘Mac?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Where do
you
think Judy is?’

‘Who knows? Mind you, after what Don saw, it does seem as though she’s got herself well and truly mixed
up with some undesirables; though I reckon she can handle herself by now.’

‘Should we look for her, do you think?’

Mac shook his head. ‘Good God, no! Brian was right. Best let sleeping dogs lie, eh?’

He momentarily toyed with the idea though; initially finding it attractive, then eventually rejecting it, not least because finding Judy would rake up the past and all that went with it.

He now
addressed Rita with a certain authority. ‘I’m sorry, love, but it is not our place to interfere. The best thing is to put that chapter of their lives well and truly behind us.’

‘But that’s not fair on Judy.’

Mac wanted the conversation ended. ‘Enough now! You’re taking my mind off the road,’ he complained. ‘Besides, the family want it over and done with, and we should respect their wishes.’

‘What!’ Astonished, Rita laughed in his face. ‘Since when have
you
ever respected anyone’s wishes?’

‘Ah, but this is different,’ he responded sternly. ‘It’s family, so let’s put an end to it now, eh?’

‘It was you who started it, saying how that business with Judy had left you feeling uncomfortable,’ Rita argued.

‘Yes, well, now I’m ending it. Come on, Rita. After all, it really is none of our
business.’

What was done was done, and as far as he was concerned, the shameful incident with Judy was best forgotten – and the sooner the better.

Reluctantly, Rita complied with his instructions as always; though in this instance, she was not happy to leave it there.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, and in view of what Don had told them, she had a sneaking suspicion that poor Judy still
needed rescuing, just as much as she did all those years ago.

H
ARRY WAS AT
his wits’ end. ‘I don’t understand how anyone could simply disappear like that!’ Seated at the kitchen table, head in hands, he talked his way through the previous week. ‘I’ve almost gone through the soles of my shoes looking for her,’ he told Kathleen. ‘I’ve been to the Central Library to check if her name is on the loans’ register, and I’ve worried the girl
at the council office, but they sent me away with all this nonsense about the right to a person’s privacy. I got shown nothing, except the door.’

‘So no luck anywhere then?’

‘None at all. I’ve spent hours hanging about the Boulevard, hoping I might catch sight of her getting on and off buses, until even the drivers got curious. I was worried in case they thought I might be a bad lot, so I told
them why I was there, so now would you believe it –
they’re
even keeping an eye out for her.’

Kathleen laughed, that joyful sound that never failed to put a smile on everyone’s face. ‘Sure it’s a wonder they didn’t call the authorities and have ye thrown in jail for loitering.’

‘Not funny,’ Harry chided, though he did have the whisper of a smile curling the corners of his mouth.

Kathleen apologised.
‘I wonder if I did right, now, to tell you about me bumping into her,’ she said. ‘Because here’s you, tramping the streets and asking anyone who’ll stop, to help ye find her.’ Little did either of them know of the similar venture of Don Roberts, nor of its unsavoury ending.

‘I’m glad you told me, because now at least I know she isn’t all that far away.’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘I
am
meant
to find her, I know I am.’

Kathleen was proud that he should care so much about the girl he had left behind, especially when it all ended on a bad note. ‘Ye know what, me darlin’?’

Harry looked up. ‘What?’

‘You’re right to keep on searching, so ye are.’ She paused, taking in that sad face with the magnetic dark eyes and that certain look of helplessness men get when they feel out of their depth.
‘Don’t you worry now,’ she said kindly. ‘I’ve a feelin’ in me water, it won’t be too long afore ye find the wee girlie.’

Reaching forward, Harry planted a kiss on her chubby face. ‘Thanks for that,’ he said with a broad smile. ‘That’s all the encouragement I need.’

She folded her arms. ‘So, where else did ye look then?’

‘Everywhere!’ he groaned. ‘If the boss should ever find out I’ve been misusing
working time, I’ll be out on my ear.’

‘Aw, away with ye! I’m sure you haven’t taken much of your work time, and even if you had, you’ve no doubt made it up in your lunch hour. Anyways, it’s not as though you’re on set hours – unless you’re actually based in the store. So far as I know, you’ve been late home four nights in the past week, and you’ve started early twice. So, don’t you worry. The
old rogue won’t care how ye juggle the hours, so long as you get the job done and fetch back his tally money.’

‘All absolutely true,’ Harry agreed, amused.

‘Right then, so now go on … you were saying?’

‘Well, let me think. I’ve asked everyone and anyone, and all with no luck. I’ve also made enquiries about Phil Saunders, also without any luck.’

Kathleen warned him, ‘Sure I don’t know if it’s
wise, bandying that divil’s name about. From what little information I’ve managed to gather on the way he is these days, he is not an article you want to mess with.’

Before he could ask the question, she informed him, ‘I already told you, I did
not
manage to get an address out of Judy at the time.’ She waved her hand in the air. ‘So, what next?’

‘That’s it really. I’ve pounded the streets and
asked a thousand questions. I even sat in that little café where you said you met up with her; I was there for over an hour until tea was coming out my ears and the waitress seemed ready to call the police.’ He gave a huge sigh. ‘I know what you already told me, but think hard, Kathleen. Are you absolutely certain that Judy did not even give a hint as to where she and Saunders live?’

Kathleen
shook her head. ‘Not in the slightest, no she did not.’

Harry had to pose the next question. ‘You
would
tell me, wouldn’t you?’

‘Bless you, me boy, why would I
not
tell you? Sure I’d
have
to tell ye, if only to keep you out of them boozers, and stop ye from loitering in public places. Bejaysus! It’s a blessing you weren’t already arrested, so it is.’

Kathleen did not mind him quizzing her again,
because she fully understood his anxiety where Judy was concerned. Moreover, she so wanted him to find Judy. That way, the couple could talk through their problems past and present, and get things out into the open. The harsh fact that Judy was already married meant yet another barrier between any future for them, but maybe the marriage was already rotten to the core and the time was right for
it to end.

There were other considerations too – Phil Saunders, for one; Kathleen suspected he was a nasty piece of work. Then there was the fact that Harry was still reeling from recent events, and was now gently bringing his son through the same trauma. On top of which he was presently settling into new employment, and was also determined to find a home for himself and the boy.

Kathleen had
already mentioned how delighted she would be to have him and young Tom stay with her for ever, though she knew that was unlikely to happen. Harry Blake had been a fine, strong-minded boy, and now he had shown himself to be a man of strength and independence.

He had taken some devastating knocks of late, but Kathleen had seen how he was now ready to forge his way in the world, and she could not
be more proud than if he was her own son.

‘I know you’ve things to discuss with Judy when you find her,’ Kathleen told him now. ‘I have no doubt whatsoever that ye
will
find her, but when you do, I want you to promise me that you’ll be careful.’

Harry was intrigued. ‘Why careful?’

‘Think about it,’ she urged. ‘Go back to when you were all young, and Phil Saunders set his cap at Judy, even when
he knew she was seeing you. Right from the start, when the three of youse came to this very house one afternoon, I noticed how that young divil could not take his eyes off her.’

Harry understood what she was saying, but tried to calm her fears. ‘He fancied himself that was all.’

‘No. He was totally besotted. When you disappeared, he made a beeline straight for her – would not leave her be, not
even for a minute. Then when she went away and her family with her, he was like a lost dog, standing outside where they’d lived and pacing the street as though expecting her to turn up any minute.’

Harry was shocked. ‘I never knew that.’ He had always seen Phil Saunders as a strange one, and they had clashed many times, but what Kathleen was telling him now, made him seem like someone unhinged.

‘Well, o’ course you weren’t to know,’ she went on. ‘You were gone from the area; you and Judy both.’

‘So, are you saying that I might be causing trouble for Judy if I was to seek her out? Do you think Phil would give her a hard time for talking to me – that is, if I ever did meet up with her?’ Harry’s heart sank. ‘Be honest with me, Kathleen. Do you want me to give up looking for her, because
I have to tell you now, I cannot! Come what may,
I have to find her
!’

Kathleen pondered on his words for a moment. She knew well enough that whatever she said, Harry would not be deterred from searching for Judy, and that his sole aim was to speak with her and make peace over the way they had parted. Come what may, she knew he would turn heaven and earth upside down until he had Judy standing
right before him.

‘No, o’ course I’m not saying to give it up,’ she answered emphatically. ‘All I’m saying is this … if he should catch the two of youse even
talking
together, he would be so insanely jealous, there’s no saying what he might do.’

‘You think I can’t handle him?’ Harry’s fists clenched by his side as he declared, ‘The truth is, if I ever find out that he has hurt one single hair
on Judy’s head, I swear to God, I would have to swing for him!’

That was exactly what Kathleen was afraid of. ‘No, lad. That’s fighting talk and you don’t want that. You must think of Judy – she is his wife, don’t forget. You also have to think of your son, and even yourself. Phil Saunders is the kind of man who would sneak up on you one dark night and mow you down from behind. When you find
Judy, you must say what you came to say, and let that be an end to it. Not by word nor deed should you give that man any cause to take against you.’

She pleaded with him. ‘I need your promise on that.’

When Harry was slow to respond, she asked again. ‘Harry – for the love of God, will ye promise me – for the sake of everyone, including Judy – that you will not goad that villain in any way whatsoever?’

Seeing how distressed she was becoming, Harry said, ‘All right, I promise, no fighting talk. I’ll just find her, make up for what happened back then, and …’

For some inexplicable reason, he could promise no more than that, except to assure Kathleen, ‘You’re not to concern yourself about Saunders. He won’t cause trouble. He has no reason to. I know Judy is wed to him, and I will respect that.’

He took a moment to dwell on Judy’s situation and his own part in it. ‘Yes, I will respect that …
as long as he respects her
!’

Surprised at his last comment, Kathleen wanted to know, ‘Why would ye say a thing like that? Why would he
not
respect her? Have ye heard something untoward? Or did ye discover some bad thing concerning the man himself?’ Her hands went to her hips and there she stood, like
a little battleship. ‘Well, did you?’

‘I’ve heard nothing with regards to him,’ he replied, ‘except what you yourself told me a little while ago.’

Kathleen wished now that she had kept her mouth shut. There was something else though, and she was thankful she had not relayed it to Harry. It happened on the day she and Judy met.

Kathleen had not forgotten how, even when she and Judy were deep
in conversation, Judy kept glancing at the café door. It was painfully obvious that she was highly nervous of something – or someone.

‘Right then.’ Harry pushed his chair back. ‘I’d best be off now. Saturday is always a busy time, and today we have a one-day sale to get shot of old stock. Jacobs is expecting a record turnout, so we’ve all been asked to come in an hour earlier.

‘A sale, eh?’
Kathleen’s old eyes lit up. ‘Sure I’ve a mind to pop along and see what ye have in the way of mantelpiece runners.’ She pointed out the frayed ends of the runner over the fire-range. ‘Would you believe, the one in the sitting room is even worse!’ she exclaimed.

‘You’d best come along and have a rummage,’ Harry suggested. ‘I’m sure there are all kinds of bits and bobs in the bargain tubs.’

‘I
will, that I will.’ Kathleen was beside herself at the thought of a new runner for each of her mantelpieces. ‘I’ll fetch Tom with me an’ all,’ she told him. ‘I’ve already promised to buy him a new pair of Wellington boots. The old ones are far too small, and there are lots of puddles to splash in.’

Going to the stairs she called the boy. ‘Tom!’ Her voice sailed to the rafters. ‘Your daddy’s away
just now. If you want to say cheerio, you’d best shake a leg and get yerself down here! Some time now would be good!’

Almost immediately, there was the familiar patter of little feet running, and even before Kathleen got back to the kitchen, Tom
was throwing himself into Harry’s arms. ‘Daddy! Daddy! Kathleen says she’s taking me for some new wellies.’

‘New wellies, eh?’ Harry feigned amazement.
‘My word! It seems like only yesterday that I bought you a brand new pair.’

‘But now Kathleen says they’re too small, and my feet will be all crossed and twisted if I have to wear them, so she’s getting me a new pair, so she is!’

Harry and Kathleen grinned at that. ‘Sure, you have a son who thinks he’s Irish, so ye have!’ She gave her infectious laugh, until all three of them were in uproar.
‘So she is,’ Tom kept saying. ‘So she is!’

Harry swept him up and gave him an almighty hug. ‘You’d best behave yourself, my boy – although on second thoughts, you could do worse than take after Kathleen.’

He set the boy down on his feet again. ‘I want you to do just as she tells you, and don’t let go of her hand when you’re out.’

‘Oh, no. I’m not a baby, Daddy. I go to school and everything.
Why does everybody make me hold their hand all the time?’ Tom made a face. When would his Daddy realise that he was all grown up?

Harry replied in a serious voice, ‘Look, Tom, nobody’s saying you’re a baby, far from it. The reason I’m asking you to hold Kathleen’s hand is for
her
sake, not yours.’

The child looked puzzled. ‘Why does Kathleen need me to hold
her
hand?’

Harry gave an aside wink
at Kathleen who was wagging a finger at him. ‘Go on then,’ she urged wickedly. ‘Tell the boy, why don’t ye?’

‘Y’see, son,’ Harry went on, ‘when people get old, they forget things, and sometimes they even forget where they are. Then they get lost altogether.’

Tom frowned. ‘Kathleen won’t get lost though, will she?’ He was almost sure about that, especially when she was standing right behind them,
tutting and making a face. Everybody knew that when Kathleen tutted, she was always right, and he had never known her to get lost at all.

‘No, son. Kathleen won’t get lost,’ Harry assured him, ‘especially if you’re holding her hand. That way, you’ll always know where she is, won’t you?’

Tom had a question for Kathleen. ‘Will you get lost?’

She made a woeful face. ‘I nearly got lost once before,
so yes, I suppose I might get lost again, especially if no one was holding my hand.’

‘Oh.’ Tom was taken aback by her answer. ‘So if I hold your hand, you won’t get lost then?’

‘Absolutely not!’

‘Okay.’ Tom offered his face to Harry for a kiss, which he got twice over. ‘I don’t want Kathleen to get lost, Daddy, so don’t worry. I won’t mind holding her hand.’