Bookishly Ever After (16 page)

I brought the flute up to lip-level. Osoba would be over soon to tune us. “You’re right, this is stupid.”

She waited until the clarinets hit their C in unison. “Yeah, it is.”

I took a deep breath. “But I can do it.” I still felt the
ghost of his fingers on mine, and where his pants had brushed my tights. My skin tingled, like it was stretched a little too tight in those places. It was impossible to even imagine concentrating on anything but those feelings. “I’m Maeve. I’m not afraid of anything.”

“You are completely and totally insane.”

After we tuned, I hurried backstage, pushing past stagehands as they finished setting up our seats and stands. Maeve would be so much more stealthy than this. Marissa would probably charm a stagehand into doing it for her, but I was Phoebe. Clumsy, not stealthy, and too short on time to play superspy.

Dev was the third chair from the end on the front row, almost exactly opposite Em. I hurried around the edge of the stage, trying to keep to all the shadowy areas. The curtain was touching the first seat of the front row, so I slipped into the second row to keep from bumping into it.

Keeping to the shadows, Maeve crept through the castle hall, her every movement a whisper. As she got closer to her target, she quietly nocked an arrow and held her bow at the ready. She only had one chance to get Carman’s scroll and couldn’t mess it up.

When I was positive no one was around, I slipped around the second-row music stands and leaned over the back of the Dev’s chair, stretching as far as I could to reach the stand. I almost lost my balance in my stupid heels, but, like Maeve on Carman’s windowsill, I caught myself last minute and touched the lip of the stand without knocking it over. Exhaling, I
slipped the socks onto his stand and ran out, almost crashing into Em as the flutes started filing on stage.

“Good timing,” she mouthed at me, handing me my things. After I had settled, I looked up to watch as the clarinets filled in their spots. Dev started putting down his sheet music and paused, staring at his music stand.

I held my breath as he picked up the socks and studied them, reading the tag with a quizzical look on his face. Then, he started laughing and his eyes raised up to meet mine. I tried to appear cool and composed as my heart went completely arrhythmic and my neck felt like it was bursting into flames, but a wide smile snuck through, anyway. The socks weren’t a clover, but it looked like they were good enough.

As we were making our way out afterwards, I felt a tug on one of my curls. “These are awesome. I think you made the wrong size, but I’ll deal.” Dev jogged up next to me, a mini sock on each pointer finger and his clarinet and sheet music under his arm.

I forced an indignant expression on my face as I slicked my hair back into place, but knew I failed miserably. Probably even verging on goofy-grin territory. “You never said they had to fit.”

“Thank you, anyway.”

I mocked a little midstep curtsy. “You’re welcome.” Emboldened, I poked at the heel of one of the socks. “Now that you have those, no more teasing me about socks, right?”

In the dim lights backstage, his eyes reflected back a
brighter shade of green than usual. “Nope. I think you need to make me a sweater next.”

Maeve would keep up the witty repartee, and I tried to make my response lightning-fast. “Get in line, sock-boy.” At his laugh, I knew that worked.

Dev walked a little slower down the hallway, bumping his arm against mine every now and then, just enough that my arm was constantly tingling. I could have avoided him by walking closer to Em, but I didn’t. And he kept veering close. “I have to take my history and physics midterms tomorrow morning, so I have to go study, but are you coming with us to Marrano’s after the concert tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Dev grabbed at my hands and turned to face me. “C’mon, I need someone to keep me company with all of these band geeks.” I was frozen in shock and I guess he took it as indecision because he gave me a pleading look. “I’ll cover your milkshake? It’s my last chance to hang out before I fly halfway across the world.”

I finally shook awake and forced a wan smile. “Sure. I’ll try.”

“Good.” He dropped my hands and started walking backwards. “Gotta go study.”

“Kick some midterm butt,” I called after him, then covered my mouth and turned to Em. “That was a little loud, wasn’t it?”

“That was unbelievably awesome. And lame at the same time.” Em pulled me aside. “When a guy you obviously like
asks you to hang out, you don’t say ‘maybe.’ Sometimes, I swear, you’re like Sandra Dee on steroids.”

“Ooohh, a
Grease
reference. Now I’m really worried.”

Em shook her head in an ‘I love you but I can barely tolerate you’ way. “Let’s work on dropping some of those super holy virgin habits of yours before tomorrow night, okay?”

“Em! Oh my God.”I looked around, hoping no one heard that.

“Calling it like it is. You need a lot of work.”

“Someone’s happy.”

Mom’s voice broke my reverie and I stopped my offkey humming. I pulled my headphones out of my ears and looked up to find her standing in the doorway to my room with an amused expression. “How embarrassed should I be right now?”

“I think I saw that last bit where you waltzed with your yarn.” Mom walked in and dropped into my desk chair, laying her book on my giant to be read pile. “At least, it looked like waltzing.”

I sat on my bed, grabbing a set of needles and starting to cast-on. “Life is really good,” I said, not even caring if I sounded incredibly goofy. “Like, burst-into-song, movie musical good.”

“That’s…” Mom broke into a smile that made her look so much younger and a lot like Trixie. “… good.” She nudged the basket of knit gifts with her foot. “Even with your Sisyphusian knit task?”

“Yup.” I wasn’t one of those girls who told their moms everything. But today the words just tumbled out of my mouth as I knit. “There’s this guy in band…”

Mom leaned forward so fast, her knee smacked against the basket. She reached out to steady it before it could fall over. “Band?”

I was so glad I had my knitting to look at. I didn’t think Mom would appreciate the eye roll that almost snuck out. “Marching and concert. Rock band guys are more Trixie’s type.”

“Oh, good. Go on.”

“He’s just really nice, is all.” And cute, and funny. But I didn’t bother adding those.

Mom hesitated, flipping through the new dystopian on my desk before saying in a measured tone, “You’ve made a lot of commitments, including passing your midterms and your job. I don’t want to make it sound like I don’t want you to date, which I don’t, by the way, but do you even have time for this boy?”

I closed my eyes. My needles still clicked away. I’d made so many of these hats, I could knit them in my sleep. “Even if we were dating, which we’re not, he’s going halfway across the world until New Year’s. I don’t think I need to worry about distractions, Mom.”

“I think I like this boy already.”

“And then you wonder why I never tell you anything.” I looked up at her and frowned.

“I’m too young to have grey hairs and your sister has already given me a few. Please don’t add to them. You’re supposed to be the easy daughter,” she said.

Of course I was the easy daughter, the one born without
social skills. “I’ll try harder to be boring.”

“That’s all I ask.” She stood and reached out to gently smooth my hair. “But I’m happy you’re happy.”

“Thanks.”

“And I’m happy that you like a boy who isn’t going to be in our time zone. Any chance he’ll stay there?”

“I’m really, really never telling you anything again.” I tossed a ball of yarn at her as she snatched up her book and ducked out of the door.

Alone again, I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, my heart dancing in my chest as I thought about Dev and the concert. I couldn’t turn into a useless block when I saw him again. And, even though common sense screamed at me for dreaming about something that might not happen, I couldn’t help but imagine the possibilities. Maybe he’d pull me out into Marrano’s summer patio and kiss me under the twinkle lights, just like Daymeon and Taylor in
Starbound
.

Fireflies—a December miracle would make that happen, of course—would fill the air around us. A light breeze would pick up, swirling my dress around me. Our eyes would meet, and neither of us would be able to look away. He’d look a little nervous, like he was trying so hard to make the moment perfect. I’d drop my eyes and start to walk away, saying something about going home, and he’d grab my arm, tugging me to part of the patio furthest from the streetlight.

“Wait,” he’d whisper, “Don’t go.”

He’d step closer and his free hand would come up to push
back the strand of hair that had come loose from my updo.
Note to self, do hair in an updo and tug a piece of hair free right after the concert.
Daymeon—um, Dev—would then cup my cheek with his hand, his thumb almost skimming the edge of my lips. “
You were amazing tonight. A real shining star
,” he’d whisper to me. He’d slide his thumb down to touch my bottom lip again and I’d visibly catch my breath,

I would look up at him, my eyes reflecting the twinkle lights. Maybe not as prettily as Taylor’s golden brown ones, but at least I’d do Grace’s bronze eyeliner trick tonight. “
I couldn’t do it without you
,” I’d say, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck.. “
I—
” But, before I could say anything else, he’d close the space between us, sweeping me into an epic kiss as the wind picks up and fireflies and leaves swirl around us. He’d pull me closer, close enough that I could practically hear his heartbeat, and then…

I giggled, burying my face in my knitting. The cool silk fabric made my cheeks feel even hotter.

“Oh holy hotness,” I said. That probably wouldn’t happen, I reminded myself, but it was nice to imagine.

I put aside my knitting and pulled my copy of
Starbound
out of the pile of books next to my bed, as well as my notebook. Nothing like any of Taylor and Daymeon’s epic makeout scenes would happen, but a little bit of advance research definitely wouldn’t hurt.

The last notes of
English Folk Song Suite
died away and I dropped my flute to my lap, waiting for Osoba to take her bows and for the curtain to close before getting up.

“Move.” I nudged Em, who purposely took her sweet time gathering up her sheet music.

She gave me an impish look and stood. “What? In a rush?” She nodded at something over my shoulder and I turned to find Dev standing right beside me.

“Meet me in the lobby?” he asked in a backstage whisper as he passed my music stand.

“Sure,” I said, trying to look like I was interested in the order of my sheet music when what I really wanted to do was latch on to him like a rabid fangirl at a book signing. I bumped Em impatiently with my hip. “C’mon. You’re so slow tonight.”

“Dev’s not going anywhere.” She finally started walking off-stage. “And the goal here is to get to the lobby a little bit after he does so you don’t have to do that whole awkward standing-around-checking-your-cell-phone-or-looking-atthe-awards-on-the-wall thing. Some people can pull that off and look good, but you really kind of suck at that.”

So, I moved slowly, carefully packing up my flute. I tugged some strands of my hair free and Em forced some of her lip gloss on me. And, with one final check, she shoved me out into the lobby and headed off to find her ride home.

I searched the crowded lobby for Dev. As soon as I caught sight of him by the offices and started making my way towards him, a bright blue streak zipped across my line of sight, focusing into a girl in a way-too-short blue dress who threw her arms around him. For a minute longer than anyone would consider a friendly hug, the dark-haired girl hung on his neck while Dev bowed his head low to talk to her, all smiles. Maybe it was a sister or a cousin…

They turned slightly to let someone pass and I saw Lexie’s unmistakable profile. I froze midstep and a wave of dread washed over me. I was an idiot of epic proportions.

Of course Dev didn’t want to
date
me. I was a geeky book nerd who dressed up like her favorite characters and read too much into everything. I bit back my embarrassment and irrational urge to cry. Not in public. If I could just duck down one of the hallways, I could call my parents for a ride, or maybe see if Em hadn’t yet left. I started backing up towards the language hallway when those too-familiar hazel eyes caught mine.
Crud.

Dev walked across the lobby and I stared up at the flags hanging from the ceiling to look like I wasn’t—and hadn’t been—watching. And like my heart wasn’t somewhere by my ankles. “Hey, Phoebe, ready to go? Matt said we could catch a ride with him.”

I could have gone with them. Like Maeve in the beginning of
Glittering
, I could have reached out and taken his arm, smiling smugly at Deirdre—uhm, Lexie. Of course, that was book two and Maeve and Aedan were together by that point, but it really didn’t matter if Dev was interested in me. If I was Maeve, I wouldn’t let any doubts keep me from doing anything, not even hanging out at Marrano’s. I took a deep breath, ready to turn myself into her.

But one glance over at Lexie, who was checking her cellphone with a self-satisfied look on her face, and my resolve crumbled. “Actually, I realized I can’t hang out tonight. I—I need to go.” I shifted my weight from foot to foot and added, “Home.” The stupid little strand of hair that had ‘artfully’ fallen out of my updo got in my eyes and I tried to blow it out of the way.

Was it my imagination or did his face fall a little bit? “Are you sure?”

“It just came up.” I tried to come across as apologetic but detached, not like I had just had a bucket of cold water dumped on my head.
Chin up
. “Really, don’t worry about me. Lexie, and—and people are waiting. I won’t keep you. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“O-kay. I guess I’ll see you in the New Year?”

“Not like we have a choice, right?” I gestured around the school.