Book Girl and the Corrupted Angel (19 page)

Mr. Mariya closing his eyes in a contented smile through a gentle cloud of cinnamon-scented steam.

His sweet words like smooth, sleepy chai.

“I wanted the time I spent at leisure with the person I loved to be more important than anything.”

“So I can affirm that I have no regrets about my decision. So long as I have a cup of chai, life is wonderful, and an ordinary life beats anything else.”

My heart emptied, and the strength fell away from my body.

Had all the things he’d said to me been lies? Were the ugly words he’d spat out what he believed?

Freedom that wouldn’t be taken away by anything, say. I’d been captivated by his gentle smile…

“I didn’t want to have the supporting role of the rich and good-hearted Raoul! I wanted to be the Phantom, bursting with talent, even if I was called a monster! If I could become the Phantom by hurting people or killing them, I would have done whatever I needed to! But even when I killed Yuka, I remained Raoul wearing the mask of the Phantom!”

Was this the truth?

Was this for real?

How painful. How ugly. How selfish.

How fragile love and trust were—!

With sorrowful eyes, Tohko declared, “Raoul isn’t a supporting role.

“He’s the main character in the story where he saves Christine by unceasingly and forthrightly loving her.
Phantom of the Opera
wouldn’t work without Raoul. It’s in Raoul’s light that the Phantom’s shadow first stands out.”

“What twisted logic…! Who in the world cares about that well-bred idiot Raoul? He’s just a paper-thin nobody who only looks good on the surface. Before a true genius, he’s a pitiable sham that no one would look at twice!”

Despair and madness spewed from every pore of Mr. Mariya’s body. His eyes gleamed like a beast’s; he howled fiercely, groaned, writhed, then roared again.

“You don’t understand! You don’t understand how I feel! Nobody does!!”

“You would never understand, Konoha.”

The vision of Miu, which had been haranguing me just moments earlier, merged with Mr. Mariya and spat out a shower of strident words.

“None of you understand the first thing about it! If Yuka hadn’t sung like that—if she hadn’t made me remember that voice, I might have been able to go on living, deceiving myself.

“The angel, the Phantom destroyed that! He took everything! I hate the Phantom! I’ll never forgive him!!”

Mr. Mariya couldn’t hear anyone else’s voice now.

The words of the book girl didn’t reach him, either.

He stabbed his finger at the masked boy and screamed, “
You
and that girl Yuka that you let into your confidence, you both need to die! You’re the ones who should be cursed!”

His spiteful words painted the world in shadow.

Despair like a black whirlpool convulsed my heart and pounded against my brain.

He was right. I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how Mr. Mariya felt or how Miu felt! I didn’t! Not at all!

The advice Mr. Mariya had given me had been so precious to me, too. I’d wanted to be like him.

It really would have been better not to know the truth!

I watched as if in a dream as the masked boy lifted his torn sleeves in loose folds and pulled a knife out of the sheath wrapped around his leg with a practiced grip.

I didn’t care who did it, as long as someone put an end to this story filled with despair as soon as possible…

Just then, Kotobuki slipped past me and walked toward Mr. Mariya.

Kotobuki held the bouquet of blue roses that had fallen to the floor resolutely in her arms.

Her eyebrows arched, she bit down on her lip, and swung the bouquet up over her head with an angry look on her face, and then struck Mr. Mariya squarely in the face.

Petals as blue as the ocean fluttered away, and the bouquet fell to the floor with a thump.

In its wake appeared the dazed, wide-eyed face of Mr. Mariya, a petal still stuck to his cheek.

Kotobuki balled both her hands into fists, planted her feet, and shook.

The corners of her eyes were filled with tears as she glared at Mr. Mariya, and her expression quickly faltered, overflowing with sadness alongside her tears.

Surprise dawned on Mr. Mariya’s face.

“Y-Yuka cared about you…a
lot.
These roses are the flowers you chose for her birthday…and she said that’s why she fell for you. She took pictures and texted them to me. Telling me they were roses her boyfriend had sent. She sent me tons…Didn’t you care about her?!”

It wasn’t hatred or anger or even a curse, it was the pure-hearted cry of someone who cared about her best friend.

Maybe she reminded Mr. Mariya that the blue roses were memories of happier times.

That hatred hadn’t been the only thing he had felt for Mito, that there had been love before that.

Sadness slowly rose into Mr. Mariya’s face.

The moment that the Phantom, who in his sorrow had tried to kill Raoul, saw that Christine was spilling tears for his sake, he was healed and, for the first time in his life, fulfilled.

The diva was supported by a selfless love, and her tears flowed also beneath the cold mask and mingled with the tears in the Phantom’s eyes to shake the soul of the man who had been such a terrifying monster.

Poor, unhappy Erik.

The words of the diva saved that one wretched man who had no name but Phantom.

In the same way, Kotobuki’s tears may have touched the gentleness inside Mr. Mariya.

He crumpled slowly to the floor.

A silver ring rolled across the floor…
cling.

Mr. Mariya caught his breath and stared at it.

The masked boy whispered in a detached, low voice that seemed to be fighting back emotion, “Yuka clung to that till the very end. She never let go of it…”

His fingertips trembling, Mr. Mariya picked the ring up.

Then from the pocket of his suit, he took out another—a second ring of the same design.

Mito had written ecstatically in a message about how they had exchanged matching rings on Christmas Eve.

How they had promised to always keep them on, but he got teased when he wore it at school and so he took it off his finger and hid it.

How before a date, he would quickly pull it out and slip it on his finger.

How much she liked hiding and watching him do that.

“And then when he’s sad, he squeezes my hand tight to get through it.”

“When I touch his hand and he loosens his grip just a little…I feel so sublime and indulgent, and I think,
Wow, I love him so much.”

Mr. Mariya looked at the two rings that lay in his palm with a frail gaze that threatened tears at any moment.

Then he squeezed them firmly in both hands.

He hung his head and wept. There was no one left now who would gently loosen his grip.

Mr. Mariya had finally realized what it was he’d lost.

The petals of the blue roses that signified the blessings of God were scattered all around him.

There could be no forgiveness for what he’d done.

Nor could he take back the words he’d spoken.

But seeing Mr. Mariya, his shoulders shaking, tears continuing to pour down his face, I could feel the dark lump in my chest quietly melting away.

Tohko and Shoko both had sad expressions on their faces as well.

As she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, Kotobuki sobbed and whined like a puppy.

I was still wondering if I had any right to do the same, feeling as if my heart would tear open—but even so, I reached out and embraced Kotobuki.

We didn’t notice when the angel disappeared.

I’m sorry I made you cry so much, Nanase.

And that it doesn’t look like I’m gonna be able to keep my promise about Christmas…

I’m pretty sure this will be the last message I send you.

You used to say that all you ever did was let me help you, but that’s not true.

You were always giving me reasons to be happy actually.

You were always an awkward, straight-talking girl who never told a lie. The girls in class always pushed you into the role of telling boys what they’d done wrong, and you always got the short end of the stick, but I really loved that about you.

Back then, you hated boys and you said boys hated you, but I was sure that eventually there would be a boy who would understand what was so wonderful about you.

So the winter of our second year in middle school, when you came to me all embarrassed, your face bright red, and you told me, “Teach me how to pluck my eyebrows,” I was as happy for you as I would have been for myself.

Because you wanted to be more girlie for the guy you liked, and because I could help you be pretty.

You were always totally devoted to being in love. It was really fun encouraging you while you were happy or sad or confused or soul-searching about Inoue.

I always thought you were so cute. You’re cute, Nanase. You’re really cute, the cutest girl in the whole world.