Bone Deep (26 page)

Did
she love him? Could she find him and bring him home? Would he come with her if she found him?

She stood reading and re-reading the
six word
note as if it might change
before setting
it down on the table
at last
. She wiped her hands over her face, clearing her eyes, trying to clear her head.

Okay, this was not a problem. He was walking. How far could he have gotten in a few hours? She would find him, talk to him and make him see reason.

Sarah grabbed her car keys and slammed
out
the door.

She slowly drove the road toward town,
thinking
he might have struck off across country in any direction, but trying to convince herself he would stick to the road. When she reached the county road and had to decide whether to turn right or left, she sat at the intersection tapping the wheel and trying to think what Tom would do. Where would a man without a home, family or job prospects
go
? Where would he imagine his future?

He wouldn’t expect to find
farm work to do, not
after the way he
’
d been treated yesterday. He might try to head for a city to seek employment, but that seemed equally unlikely. She didn’t know how much he
knew
about the world outside the carnival, how much he
’
d been taught about life and how things worked.

The
insidious idea that had drifting through her consciousness since she read the note
became
a coherent thought. It was something Tom had said when she asked how the sideshow freaks ended up in the carnival.

People who belong there find their way.

Did he think he belonged there? It was the only life he knew and, like a wounded animal homing to its birthplace, he might return to the carnival and to Reed, his warped father figure.

Reed had said the
show was
setting up in Hooperstown, but that was over a week ago. Where would they travel next
on their route,
and how would Tom know how to find them?
H
opelessness washed over her. It seemed
someone like
Tom would be an easy person to track, but the world was so big and he could have gone in any direction.

With a crank of the wheel, Sarah turned the corner and gunned the car toward town. She
would
talk to
Sheriff Ziegler, explain everything that had happened and ask if he
might know
the carnival’s circuit
, o
r
if
he could contact
law enforcement
in other
districts
and have them look out for Tom
.

The
Plymouth
roared down the road, eating up the miles, and Sarah brought it to a halt in front of the sheriff’s office with a squeal of tires.

Inside
,
Deputy
Beach
was just
ending
the night shift, reclining in a swivel chair with his feet up on one of the desks and drinking a last cup of coffee.

“Mrs. Cassidy!” He set down his mug and sat up straight. “Is everything okay? I drove past your place a couple of times last night like Phil asked and
everything looked all right
.”

“
C
an you tell me
where the sheriff is
?”

“I’m not sure when he’s getting in this morning. Is there something I can help with?”
The man seemed nervous and uncomfortable. Sarah could only assume he knew what the rest of the town knew about her swimming pool tryst.

She
released
a shaky breath, and was surprised to find tears prickling her eyes and her throat choked. She cleared it. “I...” What could she say? My lover is missing can you please help me find him?

Beach was on his feet in a second
,
ushering her to the same chair she had waited on
the other day
. “
S
it down. Let me get you a cup of coffee.”

With a hot mug between her cold hands Sarah felt a little better. She took a sip then tried to speak again. “You know about my houseguest?”

He nodded
and a flush rose up from his neck.
“Uh, yeah.”

“
He
left last night and I’m concerned for his safety. I wondered if you could maybe contact the police in some of the other towns nearby and have them keep an eye out for him
.
I wondered if the sheriff has any clue about where the carnival was going after Hooperstown. I have a suspicion Tom might have gone there.”

“Really?
I thought the story was he’d escaped from the place.
”

“I don’t know where else he could go.”

“Hm.” The deputy dropped his
gaze to stare
at his shoe
. “It’s
not my place to say but
have you considered maybe he don’t want to be found?
The man
left of his
own
free will, right? Maybe he just ain’t comfortable living outside of where he belongs.
Maybe he’s better off there, and you’re better off with him gone.
”

Sarah
clenched her jaw tight
, not sure if she felt more like crying or dashing hot coffee into Beach’s well-meaning face.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to upset you. If you want to wait, I’ll give the sheriff a call at home and see how long he’s going to be.”

By the time Sheriff Ziegler got there almost an hour later,
Sarah was ready to jump up and run screaming
around the office
. She felt Tom slipping further away with each second wasted.

Ziegler said almost the same thing as Beach. “I could put an APB out on him but are you sure you want me to do that? Might be better to let the man go if that’s what he wants. Better for you and for the community.”

“If you don’t want to help me, fine!” she snapped,
standing up
. “I’ll search for him on my own. But if you
might know
where Reed’s carnival
is
headed I
’
d appreciate it.”

“No idea. Sorry.” He walked her to the door and before she left he repeated
,
“Best to just let it go, Mrs. Cassidy.”

Back on the street, Sarah felt lost. She had animals at home clamoring for food and water by now, and couldn’t simply ignore their needs while she drove all over the county. She headed home to tend to them before setting off for Hooperstown.

The next few days were as bleak and hopeless as any Sarah had ever experienced.

In Hooperstown she learned the carnival had been set up for several days the previous week and had then
headed
south. She followed the highway and at
Hastings
found they
’
d been camped at the edge of town until the previous night but were gone by that morning. No one could tell her which direction the carnival had traveled
next.

How hard could it be to find something so big, which surely couldn’t travel all that fast? But in the next few towns she checked, no carnival had been by in over a year.

Sarah returned home late that evening, wanting to keep on the trail but with no idea where to go next
and no one she could question in the dead of night
.

Although she had only shared her bed with Tom a few nights, already she missed his warm presence lying beside her.
She touched the pillow, still bearing the dent from his head. She hadn’t made the bed that morning and, when she’d first walked into the room, with the covers bunched up as they were, for one heart-stopping moment she’d thought Tom was lying there. But the bed was empty and she was alone once more.

The next day
she started to second guess her
plan, doubting that
Tom would really return to a place
where
he’d been so mistreated
. She wondered
how he could have managed to find the carnival, let alone travel so far
on foot
. She
limited her search to the
Fairfield
area
, driving to farms in a thirty-mile radius and knocking on door after door asking if anyone had seen the tattooed man. She only received negative answers and
strange
looks.

By the time she got home that evening she was furious with herself for not sticking with her original idea and tracking the carnival, which was moving further away
with every passing day
.

As she walked toward the barn to settle the stock for the night, she looked at the neat brown block of paint on the side of the barn obscuring words that she could still faintly
see:
Freaks Hoar
.

She
considered
Tom
’s
tragic life and the cruel people who had made him feel he didn’t deserve happiness. She wondered if she could reach him by way of his
psychic powers
if she concentrated hard enough.

That night as she lay in bed, she beamed a continuous message at him until her head ached,
Come home to me. Please, come home to me.

By Friday she was completely confused, self-doubting and hearing Deputy Beach’s voice in her head saying
Maybe he don’t want to be found
over and over. She stayed home, caught up on chores
,
cried a lot, then drove to Grace and Mike’s house to
tell them her
news and get some friendly sympathy.

Grace was supportive
—
to a point. “I’m sorry. I know how much this must hurt
.
”
Then s
he added a
well-intentioned yet painful dig
.
“I hate to say it, Sarah, but maybe it’s for the best. You had to know there was no future for you with that man.”

Sarah bit back the retort that rose to her lips and managed a slight nod, but she made her excuses and left shortly afterward, unable to bear the fact that even her close friend was prejudiced against Tom’s uniqueness.

Saturday morning Sarah woke to an icy cold bedroom. She dressed in a shivering hurry and went down to the basement to fire up the furnace. After feeding the livestock and eating a light breakfast, she decided to take another trip to town to see Sheriff Ziegler.
W
hen she went into the office
,
Mrs. Ziegler
was
on duty, brewing coffee and opening a box of donuts.

She thrust the box at Sarah.
“Have one.
You look skinny and pale. Have you been eating?”

Sarah had skipped a number of meals that week, her stomach too anxious to be interested in food. She accepted the donut and a cup of coffee.

“You’re here to talk to Jack about that fellow aren’t you?” Mrs. Ziegler’s mouth was set in a disapproving line. “I’ll get him.” She went to the sheriff’s private office and closed the door behind her. Sarah heard raised voices
and after
a few moments Sheriff Ziegler emerged, followed by his glaring wife.

“Mrs. Cassidy, how are you?”
He
shook her hand
.

Sarah ignored the pleasantries. “Have you heard anything about Tom? Any rumors? Any sightings at all?”

Ziegler rubbed his hand over his chin and glanced at his wife. Her arms were folded and her toe tapping impatiently.

“Well, see, here’s the thing.”

“What?” Sarah’s nerves
tingled
.

“
T
he other morning
,
I
didn’t
tell you everything I know
. The truth is
Deputy
Beach
had come
across your friend
that
night
walking the road. He pulled over and asked if he wanted a lift somewhere. Tom said he wanted to go back where he came from but didn’t know how to get there.”

“Let’s cut to the chase.” Mrs. Ziegler interrupted. “Beach called and woke my lunkhead husband here to discuss it
,
then he drove Tom clear over to
Hastings
and handed him over to that carnival man.”