Bone Deep (15 page)

As
hamed
of herself for
staring so long
, she
covered Tom’s lower half with the sheet, kissed his shoulder, and got out of bed.
Farm chores didn’t allow for a rare day of sleeping in. Both Edison and Millie
must
be fed.

Sarah went through the familiar routine
of
pouring feed in the horse’s box, pitching hay and filling water troughs,
but
her mind
was
in turmoil
.
L
ast
night
,
under the
spell of sexual heat and the
influence of alcohol, she
’
d felt uninhibited and unashamed to fulfill
her
needs. But in the morning light,
pro
hibitions instilled in her since childhood muddied her mind with doubt.
S
ex outside of marriage
was considered a sin
.
She may
have given up on church-going
since John’s death
, but the
rule
s of
both church and society were
ingrained.
On top of that,
Tom was an emotionally scarred man
and
socially unacceptable in her community. There were
many
serious
issues to consider
in this love affair she had
hurtled into
.

She was seated on the milking stool, forehead pressed against Millie’s warm brown flank, milk squirting into the bucket with a metallic ping, when she heard Tom’s step behind her. She looked over her shoulder at him. He stood, hands in pockets, watching her with a worried pucker between his eyebrows.
Clearly he felt as uncertain about what had happened the previous night as she did.

But when Sarah smiled at him, his
frown disappeared
. A
wide grin lit up his face
and
creased the corners of his eyes. “I can pitch down the hay,” he offered.

“Already done and I’m almost through here, too.” Sarah gave a last pull and stood, lifting the bucket from beneath the cow. “How about something to eat? I’m starving.”

He reached to take the milk bucket
, but
Sarah
placed
it
on the ground and took his hand.
“Last night was really special.
Thank you for all of it.
”

His
shining eyes said everything. He pulled
her into his arms and held her
. She rested her head on his chest and breathed
him in
, for the moment all fears and doubts
dismissed.

They returned to the house and dug into breakfast with gusto. Afterward, Sarah intended to wash the dishes while
Tom
took
the animals out to pasture
,
but
Tom
never made it out the door. What started as a goodbye kiss ended with Sarah’s housedress and apron pushed up around her waist and Tom
’s
trousers
around his ankles
.
He knocked the dirty dishes
off the table
and laid her back on the
checked oilcloth, t
hen climbed on top of her. She grappled him to her with
arms and
legs
like bands of iron
and they
thrust together
with ruthless fervor.
They rutted
like animals
, rough and hungry and careless
. It
was
exciting and Sarah thought she
could happily
start every day this way.

Her
long sexual drought
coupled with Tom’s aggressive lovemaking brought her to a peak almost immediately.
Sarah
cried out as she came. She’d never been so noisy, so needy before
. Spurred by her
shout
of ecstasy, Tom gave a guttural groan. He pulled out of her and
shot
onto her leg and across the tabletop.

O
vercome by her intense orgasm
and the sheer absurdity of sex itself
, Sarah started
to laugh
. Tom looked down at her wide-eyed.

“Sorry. It’s just so funny
when you think about it,
”
she gasped then
broke off into another fit of
giddy laughter
.

He frowned.

Mindful of
his
male
pride
she
sai
d, “It’s not you. I’ve never had such a strong
climax.
It was
just so
wonderful.”

Seemingly satisfied
with her explanation,
he climbed off of her and the table. He pulled up his pants and
gave her
some of the paper napkins that had drifted to the floor.
S
till snickering softly
, Sarah
wiped
up
and pulled down her skirt.

When she looked at Tom, he had a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Want me to help finish clearing the dishes?” He
indicated
the plates, cups and silverware strewn across the floor.

She snorted with laughter. Wrapping her arms around his neck
,
she pulled him
to her for
a lingering kiss. “You can help me clear the table after every meal,” she promised.

Later that morning
,
Sarah
was
in the garden
cutting heads of cabbage
to make into sauerkraut
when she heard
a car engine
approaching from the road. She glanced toward the pasture where Tom was repairing a section of fence
. H
e wasn’t in view from the house or garden
so he would be safe there
until the visitor was gone.

The Burkett’s ancient Ford truck rattled into the yard and stopped. Mary Burkett climbed out. Sarah put the cabbage in
a bushel basket
and walked from the garden toward the driveway.

“Howdy, neighbor! I haven’t seen you in so long. We miss you at church.” Mrs. Burkett
offered
a paper bag. “Here’s a few jars of my homemade jam. There’s peach, raspberry and elderberry in there.”

“Thank you. Won’t you come in and visit for a while?”

“
C
an’t. I just stopped by to tell you the news.
O
ne of the Brodbeck girls, Aileen, disappeared
yesterday
. She went
hiking
in the woods in the afternoon and when she wasn’t back by supper Betty started to worry. She called some of her friends but they hadn’t seen her.” Mary
paused to draw breath. “When she wasn’t back by
dark, her parents called Sheriff Ziegler. A search party took Stan Jeffries’
dog
s into the woods, but
the ground was too wet
and
they
couldn’t catch her scent. They had to call off the search ‘til this morning.”

“Oh no. That’s terrible.” Sarah pictured the freckle-faced twelve-year-old with hair as bright as a copper penny.

“
They haven’t found her yet. E
verybody’s thinking she might’ve been kidnapped. Stolen and
raped
or murdered by that crazy man from the c
arnival
.”

Sarah opened her mouth to protest
,
but Mrs. Burkett
continued
, “So anyway, my Charlie’s out with the search party and I’ve got some pies to take to where the ladies are setting up lunch
for them.
You want to ride along?”

Sarah thought fast.
S
he
was an outsider in this community, having married into it rather than being born and bred here. Since John’s death, shed’ become reclusive and
stopped attending church and social functions.
It would be wrong not to
help in this community effort
to find Aileen, not to mention long-remembered that she hadn’t pit
c
hed in. But
she couldn’t
leave
without explaining to Tom what
was happening
.

“I’m in the middle of something, but I’ll bring
a dish
over in about an hour. Tell the ladies I’ll be there.”

“
We’re setting up
in Simpson’s orchard at the edge of the state forest.
That’s where the girl often went walking.
Oh, I hate to think of that poor
child
and what m
ay
have happened to her.”

After her neighbor had driven
away
, Sarah took her
basket
of cabbages to the house and set them in the
mud room
. She
chose
a plump head
to make into
coleslaw.
As she chopped and grated, s
he thought of the
large
tract of land that made up the state forest.
Aileen
could be anywhere
,
and if she was unconscious or, God forbid, dead, they might sweep past her
without finding her
.
Sarah was worried about the girl, but also upset
that people were laying blame on Tom.
To them he was an
axe-wielding boogeyman,
a tall tale with no basis in reality. As long as he was
an unknown entity
,
it was easy for people to place their fears on him.

Tom couldn’t remain hidden forever. If he was going to stay with Sarah
on a
long term
basis
eventually
he’d
have to be
introduced
to the community.
But
when
?
There would never be a good time.

Lost in
thought
, Sarah’s hand slipped and she scraped her knuckles on the grater.
B
lood welled. She cursed and put her hand under the tap, letting cold water
soothe
her torn flesh.
As she patted blood away
with a paper towel
, she
thought of other blood, menstrual blood, and wondered if interruption
was a safe enough
birth control method. With John she
’
d
not
had to worry about preventing pregnancy
since
they were trying to have a child
. N
ow it was a big problem. If she and Tom were going to continue having
intercourse
, she
should
drive to the city to buy protection.
She certainly couldn’t get
condoms
at the
pharmacy in
Fairfield
without drawing attention.

The
back door open
ed
and close
d
and Tom’s boots clomp
ed
into the entry. She turned as he appeared in the kitchen doorway. “That was my neighbor in the truck. She stopped by to tell me about
a
little girl who’s
missing
.”

“She’s hurt.”

Sarah
felt
as if
the air had been sucked from the kitchen and she was suddenly aware of the ticking of the clock on the wall. “What?”

He sto
o
d behind one of the
kitchen
chairs, hands resting on the back. “She’s somewhere dark.” His eyes went unfocussed, gazing through Sarah rather than at her.
“
And her leg
hurts so badly she thinks it’s broken.”

The hair on her neck prickled and rose.

“She’s screaming for help.” His voice was detached
as if he were describing a picture
.

“You see this
r
ight now? You see Aileen?”

He continued as if he hadn’t heard her, “She’s afraid no one will ever find her
and she’ll die there alone
. She wants to go home.”