Bonds Of The Heart (9 page)

              Without a word, Blake reached for the basket Erika held. She let it go without protest. He gave her another quick survey before turning back to the truck. Erika followed. He didn’t trust words at the moment. Hell, he didn’t trust himself at this moment. If he spoke he may say something he wasn’t ready for.

              Erika had wanted to get this picnic over with before it could even begin, but when Blake stepped out of the truck her heart stopped.

              His plaid, button down shirt was rolled at the elbows allowing his tanned, golden skin to reflect the sun. The top few buttons were undone. She wanted to touch the small patch of hair just beneath. He wore snug jeans that carved out his long, lean, muscular legs. The sandy blonde hair was still unruly, but glistened in the sun with hints of pure gold. In that moment, she forgot her plans for the picnic and his company. She was lost to him when he strolled over to her.

              “I packed sandwiches.”

             
I packed sandwiches? Idiot!
Did she really just lose all comprehension of speaking and conversation? And why wasn’t Blake saying anything? Maybe he didn’t want to be there. Surely two adults could get through one afternoon, right? She let her frustration with Blake take over. It was easier. After all, it seemed he was determined to be rude.

              Blake shrugged and secured the basket into the bed of the truck. Rounding the front, he opened the door for her. She hesitated, waiting for him to say even a hello to her. When he didn’t, she got into the cab of the truck and placed her hands in her lap.

              How the hell was he going to get through one afternoon with her looking and smelling like that?
Not even a hello, just a mention that she made sandwiches.
Maybe she wanted to be stubborn. Or maybe she didn’t want to be there with him. Blake scowled as he opened the door and got behind the wheel. He placed the key in the ignition but didn’t turn it.

              “Well?”

              He blinked, staring at his hand on the key. “Well.”

              She huffed and turned to face him. “Not even a hello? Must you really be that rude to me? Hasn’t anyone ever—”

              His mouth crushed hers, preventing any more words being said. The kiss wasn’t as gentle as it had been the night before. It was demanding, needy. When she gasped, his tongue plunged to slide across hers, to dance and tease. When she responded and tilted her head, he deepened the kiss. His hands found their way into her hair, that soft feeling between his fingers. Same as it had felt the night before. Her hand came up to touch the stubble on his chin, the other drawing him closer.

              He wanted just one more taste. He’d give himself just one more taste and let her go. Damn it all to hell if he did not
want
to let her go. He wanted more, so he took when she willingly gave. Control wasn’t something he gave up easily, but he could for her. He wanted to touch her, to feel her pale skin against his. He wanted her.

              She fell into the kiss. Slowly, deeply, with everything she had. Desire pooled in her belly. She’d give up control to him. Let him have his way with her right in the cab of his dirty old truck. It had been too long and her girl parts were screaming at her now. As if the big neon signs in her head proclaiming they were ready weren’t a big enough clue to begin with. When the kiss broke, she fought for air. She’d very much like to do that again. She noticed he wasn’t all that composed either.

              “Hello.” He whispered against her lips, fighting to catch his breath himself.

              Her eyes were heavy and hooded, and she struggled to calm her breathing. She looked delicate, Blake thought. He slid his hands from her hair and caressed her cheeks as he withdrew.

              She let her hands fall to her lap. She was at a loss for words so she just smiled and nodded.

              Blake turned the key, shifted the truck into gear, and backed out of the driveway. They didn’t say much for the entire drive. Neither one of them could find the right words. Just what could be said once the world exploded?

              Blake was struggling with feelings he'd never had before, for a woman he didn’t realize he wanted, or needed, so much.

              He never wanted to dance with desire as much as he wanted to with Erika. Blake knew the feeling, and had often joked with his brother over it. They had compared girlfriends and women over beers at the garage or in the backyard of Jared’s house when he would come back to visit. Jared had told him once that when he met Lori, his world had stopped. He knew from that moment on she was the woman he was going to marry. They married two months later. So when Blake’s world stopped that afternoon, he didn’t even register the thought of love or marriage.

              Erika tried to fight emotions that could lead to heartbreak, though she knew she wouldn’t be able to.

              She thought of her father and placed a hand over her heart and the dog tags. She wished she could talk her dad now. She had always been able to talk to her father about boys or men.
What would you think of Blake, Daddy?
Would you like him? Would you chase him away with your shotgun?
Erika smiled. Her father had given her great advice over the years about who to avoid and how a man should treat a woman. He told her to always follow her heart and that was what she had done all her life. So when she felt the flutter around her heart now with Blake, she never would have guessed love could be the cause.

Ten

***

Pulling into the county park, Blake steered the truck along the gravel road toward the end of the lane. They stumbled through small conversations about music and sports. Nothing overly personal. At the clearing toward the end of the road was a small meadow on the left, trails to the right for walking or hiking, and a small manmade pond where some kids were trying to catch fish.

              Throwing the truck into park, Blake exited. He grabbed the basket and a blanket he had brought along. Erika took a deep breath and opened her door. Blake was waiting for her, hand outstretched. She took it. She was still a little weak from their kiss. She didn’t really trust her knees to move her legs. Blake didn’t release their joined hands until they had found a spot under a large maple tree.

              Blake opened the blanket and Erika helped smooth out the fabric over the grass. He placed the basket to one side and frowned at it. “I’ve never been on a picnic before.”

              “No? Not even as a kid?”

              Blake shook his head and stuck his hands in his back pockets. He narrowed his eyes at the blanket and basket and looked around.
What were they to do on a picnic?
She had a few ideas of her own after that kiss.

              He looked lost, she thought. That was new. He always looked so sure of himself. She had expected—no, she didn’t know what to expect.

              “Sit.” She pointed.

              He blinked only once but did as was directed. Erika sat next to him and pulled the basket to her side. “It’s simple, really. Two people have a small meal in the outdoors on a blanket.” She opened the basket and began to take out its contents.

              “Really? I didn’t know,” he said sarcastically.

              “Do you always have to be so rude?”

              “Do you always have to be so condescending?”

              “Condescending?! I am not! I’ll have you know—”

              He silenced her with a brief kiss, bracing her face with one hand. He didn’t pull back until he felt her relax. “I don’t want to fight with you, Erika.”

             
Those lips!
“We shouldn’t do this,” she whispered, thinking of heartbreak, of leaving him to go back to California.

              He pulled back to look at her and arched that damn sexy brow of his with a smirk. “Do what? Have a picnic?”

              She shook her head. She couldn’t start something with him. Her heart would only be broken when she stepped onto that plane and out of his life. “That’s not what I meant.”

              “Well, since I’ve never been on a picnic, I’d like to have one. What kind of sandwiches did you pack?”

              How could he just dismiss their kiss in his truck? How could he sit there, kiss her again, and then talk about food?
Men!
She would make it a point to bring the topic back up for discussion. For now, she’d enjoy the picnic. She took out a container of grapes and apple slices, the sandwiches, and a bottle of white wine she didn’t know her mom had slipped in for their enjoyment. “Just some finger sandwiches. Why haven’t you ever been on a picnic?” She figured the question was a much safer topic than the beating‒‒and eventual breaking‒‒of her heart if she didn’t protect it.

              Blake shrugged and took a grape from the container Erika had just opened. He thought back to where he used to live. Washington D.C. wasn’t much of a city for picnics. “Just never had the urge to go on one or been invited to one. You go on them a lot?”

              “No, this is my first.”

              “Now we have two things in common.”

              “Two?” Surprised and confused, she looked at Blake as he popped another grape in his mouth.

              “We both lost somebody recently.”

              Erika relaxed her shoulders and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

              Blake nodded and stared off into the meadow at the boys fishing. They seemed to have caught something and were inspecting it. He remembered how he and Jared would do the same in those lazy summers many years ago. He’d have to take Robbie out fishing sometime and tell him stories of his dad.

              “Was it someone close?” Erika asked. She opened the wine and poured two glasses, then handed one to Blake.

              He accepted the glass from her and stared at it. “Yes.”

              He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t talk about his feelings with his mom or anyone. He only talked to Robbie and that was only when Robbie needed to remember his dad. He wasn’t ready to just start opening his heart to anyone.

              “My father was a Sergeant Major in the Marines. He was killed in action, in Afghanistan, a few months ago. An IED exploded, killing him and some of the men from his unit. He shouldn’t have been there. He should have been home with my mom. He should have been home waiting for me to come visit them this month for the carnival. He should have…” Her voice cracked at the last words as they drifted in the air, unfinished.

              Blake remembered the carefully folded flag in its case on the shelf in her living room. His brother had died in exactly the same way as her father; as he supposed most had during this ongoing war on terror. There were always stories on the news about similar events. He turned to Erika and saw her twisting her fingers in her lap. His voice was gentle. “You don’t have to talk about it with me. You don’t have to talk about it at all if you don’t want to.”

              “No. No, it’s okay. I’m still trying to…adjust. Of course I’m sad, but I’m angry too. I don’t want to be angry.”

              “Why are you, then?”

              “Because he had no right to love the Marines more than his family.”

              “Is that what you think?”

              “You wouldn’t understand,” she murmured and took a sip of the wine. Too bad she couldn’t even taste it.

              He wasn’t angry for his brother choosing to join the Marines. He was proud of him. Blake knew that was what Jared wanted. And he knew the consequences. They had talked for hours, days, at length about what those consequences were. But anger never entered into the picture when he got the call from his mother that Jared was never coming home. “You’d be surprised what I understand.”

              Something about the tone in Blake’s voice made Erika turn to look at him. “How could someone go off to war knowing that there was a chance that one day they’d never return home? And that they would never return to their families? The people they claim to love so much? I loved my father with all my heart. I know that he loved me just as much, if not more. But when he was offered retirement just before his last deployment, he declined it and opted to add more time to his service.”

              After a moment of silence, Blake spoke. “Some people fight for this country because it’s their duty. Some people fight because generations before them fought in countless battles through the years. Some people fight because it’s the only thing they know. It doesn’t mean they love any less.”

              “My mother told me something similar.” Erika took another sip of wine and remembered when her mother had tried to calm her down during that first month. Back when she couldn’t even get out of bed some mornings. “I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to be there when I got married, to walk me down the aisle. I wanted him to be there when my first child was born. I wanted more time…”

              He brushed the tear from her cheek. “Just because he isn’t here in person, doesn’t mean he isn’t here.”