Bonds of Blood [Lords of the Expanse] (Siren Publishing Classic) (30 page)

“The missives from your father are on your desk. There are a lot of them, Andries. I don’t think he would have had time to go home and fabricate them or get some of them to look as old as they look.” She nodded and stroked his arm around her middle. “I love you, Andries. Go ahead and do what you need. Our children and I will be just here.”

Looking over his shoulder to his desk, he stared at the pile on it. “I don’t know if I can, love,” he said softly. “What if he was telling the truth and I’ve been as big a bastard as he thinks I’ve been?” he murmured, his gut tight.

“Did you return them unopened or unread?” she asked simply, and when he shook his head and answered in the negative, she smiled. “Then you haven’t been in the wrong, Andries. Someone for some reason has been trying to keep you and your father apart. The question is what is the next step? If he had came to you seventy-five years ago trying to make amends, would you have accepted?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured honestly to her, turning to face her once more. Easing into her slightly, he held her closer. “I just don’t know, Xandra,” he whispered against her cheek. “I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. I’m so off balance and out of sorts I just don’t know what to do.”

“Read the letters, Andries. Find out and learn from it. When you need a break, your children and I will be here. They were just fed and clean nappies put on, so we are comfortable down here. Do what you know you need to do, Andries. Make peace with your past so that our future can be all it’s meant to be.”

Groaning softly, he kissed her gently. “Have I mentioned I hate when you are right?” he asked softly. Holding her a moment more, he got to his feet and moved to the desk with obvious reluctance. Swallowing hard, he sat down and picked up the oldest-looking pile. None of the missives had been opened. They’d just been returned, no markings, which meant they’d been sent by courier. Untying the first bundle, he picked up the bottom letter, figuring it was the first, and started to read.

Xandra watched him and then lay down on the floor to curl into her daughter and pulled her son close. The heat of the fire, the hours up and playing with them had their effect on her, and as she positioned the pillow under her head, she began to drift off, all right in her world as their son curled into his sister and sandwiched her protectively between them.

Rubbing at his eyes, Andries laid down yet another letter and stretched, his back cracking at the motion. Looking to the floor, he smiled at the scene and got up to walk to them. Crouching down, he touched Xandra’s hair lightly and smiled even more when Dalek opened his eyes to peer up at him. “Xandra, love, wake up, my love. You shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor. You’ll get cricks in your body and neck.”

Cracking her eye open to look at him, she frowned. “I’ll be all right, Andries. I’m not leaving you. I want to be close in case you need me.” She raised her hand from their son’s belly and reached out to touch Andries’s cheek. “Do you need me now?”

“I’m going cross-eyed, love. I was thinking we should get something to eat and then I’ll read a few more,” he told her softly. “Come on, my lady. Let’s go and eat and just relax with our family for a little while.” He needed time away from the letters. They were pulling him in all directions and he needed some space for a bit of perspective.

“All right.” She yawned and moved her hand back to their son. “Seems your son is already awake and ready.” She watched as he gave his father a toothless grin and kicked his feet, waiting to be picked up. “Why don’t you get your little man and I will get our little girl?”

Smiling, he helped her to her feet and then picked up his son. “Hello, my lad,” he murmured, holding him close to his shoulder, his little bottom in his hand. “You are looking very happy today, Dalek. What is going through that little head of yours?” he murmured out of curiosity.

Dalek began to move his mouth and blow spit bubbles and slobber all over Andries, but Xandra grinned. “I don’t think you want to know what’s going through his little head, Andries.” She picked Andria up and ran her hand over her little back. “Yes, I know, little love. You can nap a little later, sweeting.” She pressed a kiss to her daughter’s cheek. “And this one wants to see the man with the grumbly voice again,” she said before she could censor her words.

Andries stilled and looked to her. “We’ll see what we can do,” he said softly, lowering his head to press his cheek to Dalek’s head. “Tell me what he’s saying, love, please?” he asked, looking to her. “I really wish I could hear them like you do.”

Grinning, she said, “He’s thinking that he really needs to go poop.” She watched his face and then laughed when he pulled Dalek away from him and looked down at their son and laughed when Dalek laughed as well. “You asked, Andries.”

“All right, new rule,” he said, wrinkling his nose as he pulled Dalek back to him. “Anything to do with bodily functions need not be mentioned unless it’s something that can ruin any of my uniforms.”

Xandra laughed and shook her head. She watched as their son’s face scrunched up, and he started to turn red as he grunted more and more. “I think we will need to take a trip by the nursery so that he can be changed before we go and find food.”

“My son, you and I will be having words about this later and the fact that taking a poop in Daddy’s arms is a bad thing.” For Daddy, that is, he added silently. “I’ll take him up and change him. At least his nappy stays on”—he looked to Andria—“unlike someone who shall remain nameless because she’d likely just laugh at me again.”

But that didn’t deter Dalek in the least. He continued to grunt as he first passed gas and then began to wiggle more as he did more than pass gas.

“And that is my cue.” Andries wrinkled his nose again. “We will meet you in the kitchen, love,” he said, looking to Xandra. Turning, he headed out of the room and up to the master bedchamber, shaking his head. “Seriously, my boy, could we learn to do this while your mother is holding you?”

Dalek just laughed at his father, and even as his little head bobbed it was as if he were saying no to him. Spit bubbles were once more the word of the day even as Xandra’s laughter floated up toward them.

“The father gets seriously screwed in this deal,” Andries muttered, laying him down on the change table and collecting what he needed from below. “I think, once out of the womb, the least you children could do is let your father in on the secrets. Seems extremely one-sided to keep it all between you and your mother.”

Dalek’s hand touched Andries’s hand and a serious look crossed his face as his little mind reached out for his father. He opened up to him and let him into his thoughts, giving him what he and Andria gave to their mother without thought.

Andries nearly went to his knees as they turned to jelly under him and he stared in shock at his son. “Oh gods,” he breathed out, feeling very light-headed.

Dalek smiled and kicked his legs. His father had asked, so of course he would deliver. The smell of his diaper wafted up and tickled Andries’s nose, reminding him why they were up there.

Curling up his face, Andries fought his gag reflex. “How you can make such a stink already, my boy, I will not know,” he muttered as he removed the vile nappy and coughed. “Your mother knew you were going to do this. You told her, didn’t you? That’s why she suggested I pick you up. Not fair picking on your father like this, you know.” He was rambling but it kept his mind off the stench as he wiped off the little bottom and pulled out a clean nappy and began to get it on the boy.

The boy laughed and kicked his legs as his father changed him. He didn’t close the bridge between himself and his father, so his father was privy to the knowledge that his mother didn’t know he was going to do this and neither was he until his father picked him up.

Shaking his head, Andries re-dressed Dalek and then picked him up and, resting him to his shoulder, pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You are an evil little boy,” he murmured. “Daddy loves you though, baby.” Rubbing his son’s back, he just held him for a moment before he knew that he had to head down to meet up with Xandra.

Xandra looked up at Andries and Dalek as they came down and smiled. “Hello, you two.” She had been dancing around at the foot of the stairs with Andria in her arms. The little girl was laughing as her mother twirled her and hummed to her. “Andria and I were just dancing. Would you two like to join us?”

Andries and Dalek shared a look before looking at the women with very similar looks. “Food,” Andries said as he inched past the females. “We need food,” he clarified and kept on inching past them.

“Food sounds good to us, too. We were just waiting on you boys to come down and join us so that we could eat as a family.” Xan looked from Andries to Dalek and grinned. “So he let you in, did he?”

“I think he got tired of my whining,” he said softly with a shrug. “The fact of what he did give me left me a little peeved,” he added with a mutter. He’d be having a chat with his son later when he was either waiting for his turn to feed or after the fact.

Xandra snickered and nodded. “They are very”—she kissed her daughter’s cheek—“smelly at times, aren’t they?” The slightly pale look on her husband’s face told her that it had been a bad diaper, and it amused her to no end, to be honest.

“They are, some doing it on purpose, methinks,” he grumbled as he swallowed hard to keep his gorge down. Walking toward the kitchens, he shook his head. “Come, womenfolk. We men need food,” he called and then threw a look to his wife to get her moving, one filled with need and not-so-hidden desires.

Xandra followed behind Andries, and when he shot her that look, she melted inside. “Tonight, Andries, I do believe is the first night our little ones will find their way into the nursery.” Because she needed her husband. Desperately she needed to be with him in all ways and didn’t want to chance waking their children with her screams.

“Is that so?” he asked with a small smile for her as he settled on a chair in the kitchen, the staff all heading over to coo at the children. “Have we discussed this with your doctor?”

“Yes, and he is perfectly fine with it, Andries.”

Both Xandra and Andries stopped speaking when the nurse came over to say, “If you would like, I would be happy to take the little lord and lady.”

Xandra shook her head and aloud voiced what both she and Andries were thinking. “I believe that Andries and I will eat with them today. Thank you, however, very much.”

Smiling slightly at her, Andries pulled out a chair for her at his side and, hand on her elbow, ensured she was seated carefully. Leaning over, he kissed Andria’s cheek to gain her attention. He then smiled when she gave him a wide-eyed look.

“Now that was just unfair,” Xandra said with zero heat but filled with laughter as she watched Andria’s eyes follow her father and her face scrunch up when she could no longer see him. “She’s completely smitten with you and yet you walked out of her eyesight. That was bad form, Andries, very bad form.”

Shifting, Andries moved his chair so that his daughter could see him. “Is that better, baby girl?” he asked his daughter, leaning closer to her so she wouldn’t have to strain to see him.

But Andria looked down and kicked her legs when she couldn’t see Dalek and grinned. “I think she needs to see both the men in her life, Andries.” Xandra laughed and shook her head. “I have a feeling this one will rule simply because no one will ever want to see her upset.”

His lady wife was right about that, but Andries kept that to himself. Encouraging his baby girl so soon was a bad thing. Lifting up Dalek, Andries adjusted so that his baby girl could see them both and lifted a brow. “Are we happy now that everyone is here and accounted for?”

Andria simply kicked her feet, shook her little fists in the air, and blew spit bubbles as she gurgled in laughter. Xan shook her head and smiled. “Our life is going to be full of wonderful adventures, isn’t it, Andries?”

“It already is, my love,” he told her with a smile. “But now that we have two pairs of fresh eyes and two open little minds, I think that we will rediscover life. They will likely get into horrible trouble, and I have a feeling we will love and live in absolute horror, the whole time.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Somehow, I think that you’re right, Andries.” She looked up at him and grinned. “We have forever, Andries. Our little ones will grow, but they will always be our babies. They will find their own ways and loves, but we will always be their parents and they will always be our babies.”

Nodding, he looked to his daughter and knew she’d always have a particularly special place, just as his son would, but she would be the one he’d be watching over more than Dalek. He knew it was sexist, but his was a predatory race and he knew just what men thought. “I’m already living in fear of them growing up,” he admitted to her as the staff brought them food and made faces to the twins.

“Me, too.” She leaned back, however, and then smiled as the staff cooed, made faces, and laughed with their children. It was a happy place, a loving place, where they were now. It was a good place. “Now it’s time to eat.” Xandra was starving. Now that the twins were no longer a part of her she was ravenous, almost constantly. It was as if she were trying to fill the void they left.

“So eat, love,” he told her, shifting Dalek to one thigh to sit against him. “Give me Andria while you eat and then we will trade,” he said, holding out his hand for his little girl.

She hesitated and then gave her daughter a kiss on the top of her head and nuzzled her lightly. “I love you, little girl. Be good for your brother and daddy.” She shifted to place their daughter into his arms and smiled. “Now there is an image I want forever.” Seeing him so happy, their children flushed with health and happiness, it was perfect.

Smiling at her, Andries gently bounced the twins each on a leg as they chattered to one another. He loved watching them together. They had such an incredible bond to the other that it did his heart good. To see his children so happy and safe made him feel like he was being as a father should. But he couldn’t let his guard down. He knew that there would be more attempts, at least until the Council got his warning, that was.