Bonds of Blood [Lords of the Expanse] (Siren Publishing Classic) (16 page)

She hurt so badly that it was giving her trouble to simply breathe. She felt herself slipping and sliding from him, but his will alone, that indomitable and ironclad will of his, held her tight and fast to him. His blood sealed her wound, this was true, but it did more than that, and the fires that burned and battled in her bloodstream told the tale. Her fingers gripped him even as she felt herself being lifted and then flying away. She didn’t know where they were going but knew she wasn’t alone, and never again would she be alone. “I want to live. I want to live for us, Andries.” Her voice was thready, weak. Her blood loss was significant, but the battle that waged inside of her ensured that she would live another day.

Picking her up, Andries carried her toward their building and inside. He’d waited long enough for medical help to arrive, and obviously, they were not coming. Now he had a choice to make, and hopefully she would not hate him for it. In the lift, he looked to her. “Xandra, you need to listen for a moment. You are dying. What I did is merely a stopgap, wife. If you truly want to live, you will need to become what I am.” Gods, he hated having to say those words to her. “Are you prepared to live as I do, Xandra? Can you live as I do?” he asked her. “Be very sure, because it is not an easy battle you will have to wage, and there is still a lot of risk, especially with the loss of blood you already have suffered. Do you want to live and remain with me enough to become Vampire, Xandra?”

She had to fight for each heartbeat now. The blood was losing its battle, so she nodded her head as it lay on his shoulder. “I love you, Andries. I want to be with you. I don’t want to die, not now.” She had fat, hot tears falling as she spoke. “I want to be as you are, Andries, but only if you can live with me touching you, kissing you, loving you for the rest of whatever our lifespans will be.”

Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he swept from the lift and to their suites quickly, getting inside and shutting out the world. Carrying her to their bedroom, he laid her out and quickly stripped her down to nothing before collecting a wet cloth and cleaning her. Coming back to her side after she was cleansed and in a shirt that was his, he sat with her. The whole time he’d been taking care of her he’d also been preparing and now, now it was time. “I want you with me, Xandra,” he said softly, looking into her panicked eyes. “I do not have the words you need to hear, but in here”—he took her hand and pressed it to his heart—“is where you already reside.”

She nodded and felt her heart stuttering as she watched him. “Actions are better than words in this case, Andries.” Because she understood what he was telling her without the words.

Stroking back her hair, he moved closer. “I need to take almost all your blood, and then I will give you a lot of mine. Your body will burn, like a fever, and then you will sleep.” He left off the mention that it might be a sleep from which she never woke. Some things did not need to ever be mentioned. “When you wake in a few days’ time, we will be on my ship and I will be close. I swear this to you, wife of mine. For now, close your eyes and know that I will never let anything or anyone take you from me. You are mine.”

“And you are mine. Do as you need to, husband,” she whispered with her unsteady voice as she swept her eyes closed once more. “Know I love you,” was the last thing she whispered before she felt the bite of his teeth to her neck.

As gently as he could, he pressed his long incisors into her throat and drank, carefully taking all he could without actually stopping her heart. When it stuttered and fought, he lapped at the wounds and lifted his head. Without thought or a flinch, he sliced his wrist open with his teeth and pressed the wound to her mouth. “Drink, Xandra. Drink and live for us both and our future,” he whispered in her ear.

And she drank. She drank like a woman starved, and one determined to live. As his blood filled her veins, gave life to the tissue and organs in her body, it, also, fed the smallest of dividing cells hidden away from every eye, from every thought. The smallest of cells divided over and over again and took the blood, the power in the blood, and infused it into its very makeup, fundamentally changing her as it gave her new life, renewed life.

Taking his wrist from her mouth, Andries swiped his tongue across the line and then moved to lie at her side. Propping himself up on an elbow, he stared down at her as he lightly stroked her hair back.

Finally she felt the burn in her body, just under her skin, and bit back the cry but looked up and into his eyes. “Andries.” It was all she said, all she could say as she was consumed with the burning of what was to come.

He saw the first changes as they chased ghosts behind her eyes that stared so trustingly up at him. “I know,” he whispered softly, continuing to stroke her hair to help ground her. “Whatever happens, don’t fight it. Just let yourself relax as much as possible. If it gets to be too much, let me know.” If he had to, he could use one of the dark gifts and put her under, but only as a last resort. Her body would purge first. Everything it had as a human would leave in a rush. That he’d have to watch for because he’d need to get her to the bathing room quickly to deal with everything, but for now she needed to just survive the first of many changes.

“Talk to me?” she requested quietly. “Hearing your voice soothes me.” More than he knew. When she looked up again at him, she had clouds in her eyes only a moment before saying, “I’m going to be sick.” She felt her stomach rolling, felt ill in a way she never had before and wanted to throw up but really didn’t want to do it there on their bed, in his arms. “Bathroom, I need the bathroom now.”

Shifting, he had her up in his arms and in the bathing room moments later, helping her to a position that would allow her to expel all the food in her stomach. Andries’s arms held her gently as he held back her hair. “Let it all come up, Xandra. Unfortunately it’s part of the process. I’ll get you in the sonic shower in a while, but for now just remember to breathe.”

She continued to heave and finally slumped against him with tears streaming down her face. “And we just had that wonderful meal, too.” Which didn’t taste quite as lovely coming back up, not by a long shot. “Don’t think I have more left.” She was feeling strangely numb, as if her whole body had been submersed in ice water.

Looking at her, he nodded and gently lifted her into his arms once more and stepped into the sonic shower. Setting it to run for five minutes, he cradled her to him as it hummed softly, doing its job.

She was dropping off closer and closer to sleep. It seemed nothing wanted to move on her body as she lay there limp in his arms.

Stepping out of the shower minutes later, Andries carried her back to the bed and lay her down gently. Stepping away, he undressed, drew the shades, and slid into the bed with her. Carefully he pulled her close. “I’m sorry, Xandra,” he murmured quietly as he stroked her back. “I know this is not something you would have chosen of your own free will, and I do hate that it’s been forced on you because of your father.” Again that man was trying to cause her pain, but now it was all the more personal because she was his, and no one hurt what was his without dying a long and painful way.

“How do you know I wouldn’t have chosen this?” she asked in the darkness of the room. “Andries, I love you. I want to be with you for as long as I can, and I had resigned myself to that being only a hundred years, or whatever time was left of my lifespan.” She yawned and moved closer as if she was moving through lead. “Again my father thought he was hurting me, but he just brought me closer to you.” That was the last thing she said before the sleep of his people, her people, overtook her.

Waiting a moment, Andries listened to her breathing and let out a breath of his own, his filled with relief. “I love you, too, Xandra,” he whispered softly to the silent room and the woman asleep in his arms.

Three days later

Sitting at her side in their quarters on his ship, Andries looked down at her again, as he had been doing every few minutes. When they’d had to come on board, he’d been concerned about moving her, but he’d had no choice in the matter. She seemed to not have suffered any from it, but he really would not know until she woke…if she woke. Sighing, he rubbed at his face in exhaustion. Since she’d begun the turn he’d slept only a few minutes, ever afraid she’d slip away if he wasn’t watching.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, the heaviness of them giving her a hard time simply opening them. Her hand moved slowly and reached for him. “Hello, Andries,” she whispered huskily as she looked into the eyes of the man she loved. “You look so tired, my love.”

His heart nearly stopped at her soft and slightly rough-sounding voice. Dropping the data pad he’d been attempting to do work on, he turned, leaning over her. “You’re awake,” he breathed out, closing his eyes and giving thanks to the gods he’d never before had any use for. Opening his eyes he looked into hers. “How do you feel?” he asked softly.

“Like I’m in lead,” she gave him and closed her eyes again, the effort just too much. “It’s as if I’m fighting my body to wake up.” Turning her head, she forced her eyes on him again. “Why don’t you curl up here beside me, hold me, and let both of us sleep for a little while longer? You look like you need it, Andries.” She was worried for him. She didn’t wake worried for herself, just him. “Did you catch the woman who did this?” was her next very quiet question.

“Yes,” he told her as he shifted to lie at her side, gently holding her closer. “She is being held until judgment, which means when we return you can face her. You will need to decide what you wish to say. It may or may not sway the Alliance’s judgment over her.” Stroking back her hair, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I was worried about you, Xandra. It is not a feeling I like, so let’s not have any repeats, if you please.” He wasn’t joking, either. He did not like to worry, especially about his wife. Closing his eyes as he rubbed his lips over her skin and breathed her in, he sighed softly. “It is day on our world. It’s why your body feels so heavy. Because you were just turned, you will be subject to the daylight, even when we are not there, for a great many years.”

“Okay, then let’s sleep, okay?” She didn’t know what she wanted to say to the assassin that had tried to kill her, and frankly she didn’t want to think on it either. “I love you, Andries. This is perfect, with you holding me, so please don’t let go?”

“I do not intend to, wife,” he told her softly, pulling her closer to him. “Close your eyes, Xandra. Your body is still in transition and you require a lot of rest now. When you wake, you will likely need to feed.” He’d given her more of his blood while she’d been asleep the last few days, her gag reflex automatically making her swallow and take it in.

Scrunching her nose, she shook her head. “Not sure if that will be happy times or not.” But her eyes closed and her body molded closer to him. “Thank you for saving me, Andries, for giving us a forever kind of life.”

“You are welcome, Xandra,” he murmured softly. “I have found that I like having you around and would not be nearly as pleased if you were not in my life.” Likely the closest he’d ever get to admitting his feelings for her. Or rather, while she was conscious to hear him say anything.

“That’s a very sweet admission on your part,” she whispered only moments before her body took away her ability to remain awake and fell into the slumber of their people.

* * * *

When she woke next, she felt decent. Not rock and roll and cartwheels good, but she felt decent. Her body ached and burned, but she felt good. “Andries? Andries, are you here?”

Walking in from the outer room, he nodded. “I’m here,” he said. He’d been feeding, knowing that, for her first time, something more intimate would likely be best. Moving to her, he sat at her side and caught her when she weaved slightly. “You’ve not fed properly yet, Xandra. You shouldn’t be trying to move just yet.”

“Right, that would have been nice to know before I decided to jump up and move.” She moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh. “I had thought you were gone,” she whispered sadly. “I hate that I felt that way, but I thought that you had left me.”

“I would not do that, Xandra,” he said in gentle reprimand, kissing the top of her head lightly as he wrapped his arms around her. “I promised I would not and I did not, but I needed to feed and I thought it best to do so in the other room.” Rubbing her back with a light hand, he shifted so he could brush his lips over her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel”—she struggled to find the words to describe it to him—“I don’t feel as if I can run a marathon right now, but I feel good.” And she did. “My shoulder still aches like crazy. I can still feel the hole even if it was sealed, but other than that I am good.” She rubbed her cheek over his shoulder and then nuzzled against his neck. “And I feel hungry. How odd is that.” She also felt amorous. “I feel more though.” Her hand stroked over his chest and stomach. “I feel needy.”

He was, too, but one of them needed to keep their head on this and, unfortunately, it was him. Pressing a hand to hers before she went further, he waited for her to look up at him. “You’re Vampire now, Xandra. Primarily our species is sensual and enthralling. You will need to learn a whole new set of rules that govern our people alone, as well as the guidelines we have to keep the non-Vampires of our world safe.” Shifting slightly, he laid her down, following her and kissing her gently.

She wasn’t going to complain about this instruction. Her arms wrapped tightly around him even as her thighs parted to allow him an area in which to lie, and as she kissed, her legs found their way around his waist. When they parted, her eyes were fully dilated and her body was in overdrive that nearly had her coming off the bed. “I need you, Andries.” And in the end, he was all she had ever needed. “Later I will worry about rules. For now I just want and need you.”

As he slid a hand down her arm gently, she shivered, all her new senses awakening. Leaning in, he nipped at her chin lightly. “What do you want, Xandra?” he asked softly. “Tell me, wife, exactly what you want from me,” he murmured, brushing the flats of his incisors over her throat.