Bondage Unlimited (3 page)

Though she’d tried hard not to, she’d imagined having another chance in bed with Gio. This time, she wouldn’t be the innocent, scared of her own shadow woman. Having been in his arms, felt the heat of his body against hers, smelled his scent, she was living in a private hell all her own.

She wanted Gio, wanted to feel him inside her. She’d longed for him since that one night they’d shared together. One disastrous night.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Gio stood near the bar.

“No.”

Gio moved to the couch and sat down close to her. “Eva”—Gio took her hand—“I’m really sorry.” He shook his head. “I have no excuse for being such an asshole. Can you ever forgive me?”

Eva pulled her hand from his, needing to regroup before the tears started flowing. Gio tightened his hold and refused to let go, leaving her only humor to distance herself with emotionally. “I’d be sorry too, if I gave up a full ride scholarship because my girlfriend sucked in bed. Kicking her to the curb would have been much more efficient and cost so much less in the long run.”

Gio shook his head. “Eva, this isn’t about you. The problem was never
you
.”

“Oh, yeah? Then tell me what the problem was.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this and yet she desperately wanted relief from the guilt she’d carried all these years.

“Have you ever heard the phrase ‘honor among thieves’?”

“Sure. It basically means, even criminals have a line they won’t cross.” She met and held his gaze. “You aren’t a bad guy, Gio. You’re a non-confrontational jerk, but you’re not a criminal.” She knew where this was going and immediately dismissed his line of thinking. “I wish you’d been upfront with me. It hurt that you left without saying goodbye.” She shook her head. She couldn’t wallow in her own misery. The issue that mattered was Gio leaving school. She needed to keep her focus on the important issue. “You left school because of me. I cost you your education.”

“No, Eva. Please just let me say this… I need to say this.” He looked down at his hand holding hers. “I knew what I was doing was wrong. I didn’t respect your views.” He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I found a way around your objections every time—just like I did tonight. You didn’t want to dance with me, so I pretended we were skating. I used your kind heart to get you to do things you considered to be wrong. I knew I shouldn’t and I did it anyway, but I had drawn a line in the sand that I wouldn’t cross.”

She stayed quiet. It was obvious he had planned out what he wanted to say and that he needed to get this off his chest.

“You were so…good. So innocent. We came from different universes. I’d been working after hours in our kink club since I was eighteen. I knew things. Hell, I’d enjoyed things you couldn’t have imagined back then. I didn’t think you’d ever be able to accept my kink, and I didn’t want you to. That was the line I wouldn’t cross. You gotta believe me, Eva. All those things I said to you before we made love that night, I believed. I really did want to marry you. I planned to curb my kink and live a vanilla life. I never wanted you to know about that side of me.”

As she listened to him, she began to understand where he was coming from. “That’s why you never talked about your family.” She’d always wondered about his childhood. Another thought occurred to her. “If you really intended to marry me, how did you think you could hide your parents’ club? Did you think it wouldn’t come up in conversation?”

A little boy smile skittered across his face. “I didn’t have that all worked out. I assumed you wanted to live near your family, and I knew mine weren’t leaving Arizona, so I figured it would work out one way or another. My parents would never ‘out’ anyone, especially their own kid.”

“So, I was right. You left because the thought of sleeping with me night after night for the rest of your life was more than you could take.” She forced air into her lungs. He had spun it a little to take the pressure off her, but the bottom line remained the same. She felt hollow inside. It was one thing to assume something and another to have her deepest fears confirmed.

“No, Eva. You’re not listening to me. This isn’t your failing. It’s mine. I couldn’t give it up. The whole time we were…in bed, I wanted to be gentle and romantic, but all I could think about was dominating you. I knew if I stayed, I would. Just like I pushed you to dance with me, to watch R-rated movies and drink, I would have pushed you into kink too. That was the line I just couldn’t cross. Don’t you see, Eva? You’ve always been innocent.”

So he thought she was innocent, did he? “What did you imagine doing to me, Gio?” Anger collided with desire and the emotions warred within her until she was ready to explode.

Damn it!
She wanted to punch something. If he’d just talked to her, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have spent the last six years afraid to be truly intimate with someone. She wouldn’t have backed away from every relationship before it had even had a chance to grow.

“What?” He looked startled.

“What’s your kink? What did you want to do with me?” She was running on pure nerves. It was fight or flight time and, unlike Gio, she didn’t hide from her problems. Nope, she was going to meet this one head on.

Eva shackled his wrist and pulled his hand to her neck. “Did you want to put your hand around my throat while you fucked me?” She noticed his cock jump to attention.

He pulled his hand away. “Eva, stop. I’m trying to explain.”

“I don’t want your explanations. I told you that. If you want to talk about something, then tell me how you like to screw. Do you like your women restrained? Are you a ropes or leather man? Do you get off on wielding a crop or a flogger…? Maybe a whip? What does it for you, Gio?”

Big, strong, confident Gio looked like he didn’t have clue one how to handle the new and improved Eva. It was almost comical. “Cat got your tongue? Well, I’ll break the ice. I want you to pin me down and fuck me hard. Yeah, sweet, innocent Eva likes it rough. What are you into, Gio?” Her voice had taken on a brittle quality she didn’t recognize, but it matched the way she felt inside.

He sat back against the couch and ran his thumb and index finger around his mouth. “Eva, what is this all about?”

“What do you mean, Gio?” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh, I get it. You’re still afraid to discuss kinky sex with me but this is your hotel room, so this time you can’t run away. No problem.” She patted his hand. “I’ll leave, but I won’t slink away in the dead of night. I’m telling you to your face. I’m outta here and stay the hell away from me. I don’t want to play ‘Remember when…’? ever again.”

She practically jumped from the chair and stormed to the door. Eva barely had it open before Gio slammed it shut again. He took her by the arm and spun her around.

“Sit your ass on the couch. We aren’t finished here.” He kept the door blocked, but he stepped aside enough that she could return to the seating area.

So many comebacks flashed through her mind—harsh, cutting words that would put any man in his place—but she held her tongue. As much as she’d like to pretend his leaving hadn’t phased her, she knew it had shaped the course of her life and she needed closure as much as he did.

“Make me.” She stared into his eyes, refusing to back down.

His breathing hitched as he searched her face. Bending down, he grabbed her just above the knees and tossed her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. He walked past the couch and the armchair as he took her into the master bedroom. He kicked the door closed before he tossed her on the bed.

Eva scrambled off the mattress and stood by the door to the bathroom. She wasn’t scared of Gio and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t hoped they’d eventually end up in here, but events were escalating at a rate she wasn’t prepared for.

“Last time we were in bed together, you couldn’t get the job done. What makes you think tonight would be any different?” As soon as the words were out, she wished she could take them back. What the hell was wrong with her? She sounded like a mean, spiteful bitch. The last person she wanted to hurt was Gio.

He pointed to the bed. “Sit down.” Then he turned his back and began removing his jacket, tie, cummerbund and shoes.

If he’d continued to stare at her, she would have told him to go screw himself, but for whatever reason, him leaving her alone to decide for herself defused the situation. She threw a couple of pillows against the headboard, kicked off her heels and sat on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chin.

“Thank you.” He sat hunched over on the bench at the foot of the bed. “Eva, you’re hurt and lashing out. I get it.” He shook his head. “And I deserve it. I should have talked to you. I owed you that.”

He couldn’t be nice to her. She was holding her tears back by the skin of her teeth. If she gave in to them, she’d likely flood the whole freaking building. “All you owe me is a good, hard fucking. Can you do that, Gio?”

“Knock it off, Eva. I’m trying to talk to you.”

“The time for that has passed. Now your choices are fuck me or open the door and I’ll find someone who will.” Like that was possible. She hadn’t found a single man she was willing to have intercourse with since Gio had walked out on her that night.

Oh, she hadn’t been a nun by any stretch of the imagination, but she hadn’t let her guard down with anyone either. Maybe if she could screw Gio, successfully, that monkey would be off her back. She could start over again. Find a guy she could build a life with.

Gio couldn’t control his runaway thoughts. He hadn’t been prepared to see Eva again. Having her in his hotel room seemed more like a fantasy than reality but he feared if he screwed this up, he’d be living a nightmare.

The Eva he’d known was driven and passionate about her causes. She was reserved and quiet, uncomfortable in social situations. Looking at Eva now, he wondered how much of the girl he’d fallen in love with still remained.

“How did you end up in Arizona?” Had she come looking for him?

“No. I told you I don’t want to talk.” She stood and picked up her shoes as she headed to the door.

Gio stepped in front of her. “Sit back down. We’re not through.”

“I gave you your options and talking wasn’t one of them.” She stared him in the eyes.

He watched her heart beating through the vein in her neck. She wasn’t as calm and collected as she wanted him to believe. Her lips were parted and she was breathing heavily.

“Are you drunk?” He couldn’t smell anything on her breath, but he wasn’t willing to take the chance.

She cocked her head to the side in annoyance. “I don’t drink alcohol, Gio. That’s not my vise.”

“What is?” He began unbuttoning his shirt.

Eva dropped her shoes back onto the ground. “Men like you, Gio.”

“So you’ve known a lot of men like me?” If she was trying to piss him off, she was highly successful.

“Yeah, Gio, I’ve known clubs full of men like you.”

He didn’t want to hear this. He couldn’t think of her with other men and not lose his temper. “Get undressed.”

Eva reached behind her and unzipped her dress. She rolled her shoulders and the satin material pooled at her feet.

Gio’s breath caught in his throat. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. “All of it—then get on the bed.”

Slowly, seductively, she slid her designer panties down her legs to lay on her gown. She reached behind her, unclipped her bra and tossed it on the growing pile. “How?” Her voice cracked.

She was trembling, just like she had been that horrible night six years ago. He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he doubted she’d accept it. Everything about this felt wrong.

“On your back, legs apart.” He tried to stay detached. If this would keep her from walking out of the door, then so be it.

Eva complied without saying a word.

Gio sat on the bed next to her. “Put your hands above your head and leave them there.”

She crossed her arms and rested her head on them. Her ragged breathing and dilated eyes gave him pause. Was this more than a taunt? Did she truly desire to be with him?

As he ran his thumbnail down her ribs, she flinched and shut her eyes. “Look at me,” he demanded.

Her eyes flashed open. “You know I’m ticklish.”

“The old Eva was. I didn’t know if this new Eva was or not.” Gio examined every visible inch of her skin for marks or a sign that she’d been with someone else recently. To his relief, he didn’t find any.

“Some things never change,” she mumbled, seemingly to herself.

“Keep your eyes on me, Eva.” He wanted her to know exactly who she was with.

“I tend to shut my eyes during a scene,” she pushed back.

“Not with me. You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do.”

Her breathing faltered and her pulse beat double time. “What if I don’t? What are you going to do then, Gio?”

“Try it and find out.”

A smile broke across her face and she squirmed a little on the bed. “I just might do that.”

“Go ahead. I wish you would.” He stood and removed his pants. Now that he was taking some control, his cock was eager to get started. From his wallet, he pulled out a condom and tossed it on the bed.

“Only one?” She winked at him.

“Well, we’ll start with that and see where it leads.” He wasn’t sure why he even carried one. The type of sex he enjoyed, he couldn’t find from just any woman. When his sexual needs became too urgent, he’d find a willing submissive at the club and take care of business.

Eva’s smile wavered. “Sure.”

Gio was beginning to think his leaving had done a number on her head as well as her heart. “That night—I tried to be tender and romantic.” He sighed. “It felt like I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t.”

Her eyes were open, but her gaze was over his right shoulder. “You seemed as nervous as I was.” Her tone was more subdued.

Gio laughed. “That’s a nice way to put it. I was scared to death. I knew it was your first time and I didn’t want to hurt you.” He decided she deserved the truth. “I was afraid I’d act on some of the darker fantasies I had—hell, still have about you.”

“I’m not that same girl you knew back in college, Gio. I’m not afraid of my own shadow these days.” She gave him a smile that appeared genuine.