Bondage (4 page)

"Don't. You knew what you were getting into when you rescued that street rat." Bradford winked.

Tobias snorted. "Did I? How about when you said, 'Hey, Tobias, happy birthday, have a cop. He's a nice boy'? I didn't know what I was getting then. Oh, by the way, thank you."

"Don't be a smart ass; you'd turned into a hermit. Someone had to pull you out of it. Noah was... my best effort."

"He's my best everything," Tobias said with so much sincerity he heard it himself. He looked at his empty glass and winced. "Oops."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Bradford was suddenly right there and pulling the empty glass from Tobias' fingers. "Why don't you go home to him while you can still walk?"

"Because while I can walk, I can no longer drive." Tobias stretched, eyeing the couch doubtfully. "I hope you have a guest room."

"Oh, of course, no driver at this hour. Very well, my guest room is yours." Bradford said, helping Tobias to his feet. "Do you want Phan?"

"I don't think you're supposed to ask that when I'm drunk," Tobias said, transferring the doubtful look to Bradford.

Bradford laughed. "No, perhaps not. It is a bit like candy to a baby isn't it? Come on then." He escorted Tobias toward the stairs.

"Don't let him hear you say that," Tobias advised. "He has a thing about being called sweet. Right, I'm not talking anymore." Tobias let himself be led up the stairs, concentrating hard on not talking. "Don't let me drink with you anymore. I seem to have lost all my tolerance."

"Uh-huh." They turned the corner at the top of the stairs, and Bradford turned on the light in the guest room. "Bathroom is the far door there, not to be confused with the closet, hm? There's a robe in the bathroom and pajamas in the dresser. I'll wake you."

"Okay," Tobias agreed easily. "And then I'll call Noah. Who may shoot me for worrying him."

"Goodnight, Tobias." Bradford sounded indulgent. "Thank you for coming by."

"Goodnight, Bradford. Thanks for the alcohol, nicotine, and nerves." Tobias closed the door before Bradford's indulgence could break. He managed to undress without hurting himself, a fact that made him absurdly pleased, and then he fell asleep on Bradford's very soft guest bed, not moving at all until morning, when he heard a tap on the door.

Tobias woke slowly, feeling fuzzy and vaguely out of sorts. The tap came again, and it took him a moment to remember where he was, and why. "Yes?" he called, blinking rapidly to help his eyes focus.

Nikki peered in at him. "Master Tobias? Master Bradford asked me to wake you and tell you that breakfast is on the table." He set a mug of hot coffee on the nightstand. "He says to come down when you're ready. Oh, and not to forget to call your boy."

"Thank you, Nikki," Tobias said, reaching for the mug. "I'll be right down. Oh, is Phantom up yet?"

Nikki lingered in the doorway. "Phan is having breakfast, sir. He didn't sleep very well, I'm afraid."

Tobias nodded. "I'd be surprised if he did. I'll be right down. Try to get him to eat, please."

"Yes, sir," Nikki said as he backed out and closed the door.

Tobias searched through his pile of clothes until he found his phone, calling his apartment as he tried to dress and sip his coffee at the same time.

"Jesus, I've been worried sick!" Noah lit into him as he answered the phone.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Tobias said immediately, not trying to be smooth about it. "I'm really sorry. By the time I went to bed it was too late to call."

"You think I was sleeping? Are you okay? How's Phan?"

"I'm fine. Bradford got me drunk. And I have no idea how Phan is, I'm just on my way down to see him now. He's still set to leave, as far as I know. We didn't get anywhere last night, other than to clarify that he and Bradford are pretty much at their limit and that Phan's developed a lot of guilt about taking attention from Nikki." He paused while he tried to put on his shirt without letting go of the phone, giving it up as hopeless after a moment. "Hang on."

Shirt finally on, he retrieved the phone. "Frankly, I don't know what to do."

"He seriously wants to go?" Noah sounded more than a little concerned.

"He doesn't think he has a choice," Tobias said, pulling on his socks. "What he wants is another matter altogether."

"Did he tell you?" Tobias could hear the creak of Noah's gun belt.

"No. He either wouldn't or couldn't. Bradford says he needs me -- I said I already have a sub. Phan went to bed. Then there was drinking. Oh, I told Phantom about the apartment; that went over like a lead balloon. Are you getting ready for work?" Tobias sipped his coffee and looked around the room for his shoes.

"Yes, but I'm thinking if Phan's about to ship out I better come over and say goodbye first." Noah sighed. "I can't believe you aren't stopping him."

"What should I do, Noah?" Tobias asked seriously. "I promised you I wouldn't bring him home, and at this point that's the only other choice."

It was quiet on the other end of the line for a very long, uncomfortable moment. "I'm going to stop by," Noah said finally.

"Good. I'm sure he'd like to see you," Tobias said. He almost hung up the phone, but couldn't, quite. "And I always want to see you."

"I'm going to call your driver, okay? Where's the number?" He could hear Noah flipping through the address book Tobias kept by the phone.

"Front page, under the number for security. But I have the car -- bring the truck, I'll need it for work, if I make it in. God, Dee is going to kill me." He groaned and put his shoes on.

"Oh, all right." Noah sounded so tired that it was hard to believe he was going to drag himself into work. "I'll see you in a few," he said, and hung up the phone.

Tobias found himself staring at his cell phone. Noah hanging up first didn't bode well for the day. With a sigh he shut the phone off and left the room, hurrying down to the dining room.

He found Bradford and Phan sitting at the table, neither of them saying anything. He skipped wishing them a good morning and simply said, "Noah is coming over."

Bradford looked up at him. "Oh, good, reinforcements."

"We need them. Unless you've come to your senses, Phan?"

Phan looked at his plate and said nothing.

Tobias sat down next to him. "You can stay at the apartment. We'll work something out. Let us help."

"You've been helping," Phan said quietly. "I don't think--"

"So don't," Tobias said. "Don't think. Just do. Stay."

"And do what, sir? I can't keep... drowning like this. I'm getting through a lot of things, but I want..."

"What?" Tobias pressed quietly when Phan fell silent.

But Phan shook his head and poked at his breakfast.

Tobias looked at Bradford. "Nikki says Phan didn't sleep."

Bradford just shook his head. "No, but he managed a mouthful of breakfast when Nikki came down and told him you said to eat."

"Oh, good. Eat more, boy," Tobias said, rolling his eyes.

Phan ate.

"Oh, dear." Tobias looked at Bradford and shrugged. "Phan, don't go to the clinic."

Phan's jaw twitched. "Sir."

"It's not the answer." Bradford added, "I'm not sure exactly what is yet, but what if we promise we'll help you find it? The clinic, your parents, that's just not the way to go. I think you know that."

"But I don't know what else is," Phan said. "I keep saying that."

"Give us time to find it," Tobias said, trying not to plead with the boy.

Phan sighed and put his fork down. "See what I've done? I've torn up four lives along with my own. How can I live like this, letting you keep losing sleep, letting you keep worrying about me? At least at the clinic I'll know what I am."

"I think it's a mistake, Phan. They'll make you hate yourself." Nikki piped up from the floor beside Bradford's chair.

Bradford blinked and looked down at him before looking back at Phan. "Well, the boy isn't wrong, Phan."

Tobias watched Phan blink rapidly, his gaze fixed on his plate. "I won't let you die," Tobias whispered. "I'll never let you go like this, Phantom."

Phan gasped, his head shaking. "Stop."

"No. I won't let you go with them." Tobias could feel his anger building, his need to fight against what Phan's parents would let happen to their son again.

"With all due respect, it's his decision, sir," Noah interrupted, striding into the room in full uniform and going right to Phan. "Forbidding him isn't the way to do this. Phan..." Noah knelt by Phan's chair. "I'm sorry about last night. But please don't make this decision too quickly."

Tobias sat back, relief washing over him. He had no idea why he was so sure Noah could talk some sense into Phan, but he was.

Phan touched Noah's cheek with one hand for a moment. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Or scare you. Whatever. And I didn't mean to make Sir come here last night."

"You listen to me." Noah said firmly, tugging over a chair and looking Phan right in the eyes. "Whatever you're doing, don't do it on my account, or Bradford's, or anyone else's. We're grown men, and capable of making our own decisions about how we want to spend our time and energy. If we want to spend it on you, then a simple thank you is good enough. All this guilt is just uncalled for. For all the rough spots, I've gotten as much out of our Tuesday night pig-outs as you have. Okay? So if you're going to do this, do it for yourself. Do it because it's what you want to do, not what you think you have to do. Please? Promise me?"

Tobias found himself holding his breath.

"But they're coming," Phan said softly. "And I don't know where else to go."

"The apartment," Tobias said again. "It's yours. We'll work out the details soon."

"See?" Noah said with a nod of his head. "You have options. And so what if they're coming? We'll turn them away. You don't even have to see them."

Phan sighed. "Noah, you don't understand. Even if I do go to the apartment, and Sir and you go live downtown -- then what? I'm still me, still like this, and still just... broken. At the clinic they'll... do something. Make me better."

Noah stood up and snorted, pacing away from the table. "What kind of clinic is this that can make you better when your closest friends and the best fucking kinky head-doctor in the city can't? Huh? That's crap, Phan."

"Jesus, Noah. Think." Phantom seemed to have forgotten there was anyone else in the room. "I'm a mess, and I can't keep taking forever. If you knew what I think about--" He stopped dead and everyone could hear the knocking at the front door.

Noah froze and stared at Phan for a long moment. Finally, he sighed and raised an eyebrow. "I'll get that, shall I?" He strode out of the room much the way he'd come in.

Tobias watched Noah's retreating back and turned to Bradford. "This could be interesting. Shall we go watch?"

Phan groaned. "I'll get my bag."

"No, you won't. Not yet." Tobias stood up and looked at Bradford. "Your house."

"Come, Phan," Bradford said as he stood and made his way to the foyer. "Come on now, right at my heel." He led them out to the hall, a strange procession intent on protecting one of their own.

"Can I help you?" Noah was asking as he opened the front door.

Tobias watched as Phan's father, several years older than the last time Tobias had seen him and showing it, blinked at the uniformed police officer in front of him. "I'm looking for my son," he said finally. "Has there been some trouble here?"

"Nothing that concerns you, sir." Noah sounded eerily official. "Who would your son be?"

"Phantom Shaw. He's--" Tobias saw the moment the man's eyes found Phan, widening suddenly. "Phan. Time to go."

Tobias watched Phan shrink back against Bradford before taking a hesitant step forward.

"Where is he going?" Noah held up a hand to stop Phan from moving any farther.

Phan's father eyed Noah. "To a clinic, though I doubt you have any right to ask. He's sick."

Noah looked at Phan. "He seems fine to me."

Tobias grinned and had to cough to hide a choked laugh.

Unfortunately, that brought attention to him, and Phan's father frowned. "Dr. Vincent," he said icily. "I should have known he was mixed up with you again. And I suppose that this... man Phan's clinging to is his new benefactor." He ignored Noah utterly and tried to step to Phan. "Come on. We're going now. The clinic is expecting you."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute." Noah stepped between Phantom and his father. "Phan, you don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to, you know that, right? You're an adult and have the right to do as you please."

Phan nodded slowly, gravitating toward Noah.

"Phantom. You called me," his father stated. "You asked for my help."

"He can change his mind. Tell him where you're taking him. Tell him what this clinic will do for him." Noah looked the man in the eye. "Go on, tell us all how this clinic is going to help him."

"They'll finally get this submissive crap out of him," Phan's father said with a snarl. "Help him with trauma, give him coping skills, and teach him to be a man. Phantom. Now."

Tobias watched as Phan flinched, wanting to cheer when he shook his head. "I don't want to," he whispered. "I changed my mind."

"Doesn't work that way, Phan. You called for help, help is here, and it's going to take more than you whispering at me to convince me you don't need it."

Noah looked horrified. "You're saying this place you want to send him to will attempt to strip Phan of his right to choose how to conduct his own life without interference from judgmental prudes who never learned the meaning of the word 'acceptance'?"

Phan's father stared at Noah. "Who the hell are you, anyway? Look, just let me do what my son asked me to. I'm here to pick him up and take him to a clinic. You have no right to stop him from leaving, unless he's under arrest."

"That's an idea I hadn't considered. But, actually, I have a better one." Noah turned to Phan. "Phan, listen. You want a sure thing? You want a plan? Let me give this to you and if you don't want it, then you go if you have to, okay?" Noah took Phan by the shoulders. "Move in with us. With Tobias and me. We'll make sure you have your own space, and we don't have to talk commitments or contracts or anything like that. Just a place to stay if that's all you want. Safe with us. It's a risk, sure, but it's not any more dangerous than the one your father wants you to take. He's full of shit, Phan; in your heart you know he doesn't care about you. But we do."

Tobias' heart stopped for a moment, he was sure of it. Noah hadn't even looked at him, just took Phan on for them both, displaying a level of trust Tobias hadn't seen before. When his heart started again it was in his throat, waiting for Phan's reaction.

Phantom's father was pale, and he was staring daggers at Noah. "You're one of
them
," he spat. "And Vincent's as well. I should have known."

"Shut up," Tobias said succinctly. "Phan?"

Phan kissed Noah's mouth softly and turned from him, walking to Tobias' side. "I have help already," he said, sinking to his knees. "I don't want to go to the clinic."

Tobias stroked his hair, hoping his hand wasn't shaking. "Show the man out, pet. Thank you."

Noah turned and looked at Phan's father. "You heard Phan, he doesn't need you."

"No money, Phantom," the man threatened. "I'm withdrawing everything you've been given."

"I've never used it," Phan said quietly. "And you know it."

"Your mother--"

"Hasn't spoken kindly to him in years," Tobias interrupted. "Please leave."

Phan's father gave him a long stare. "There's no truce this time. I can ruin each and every one of you."

Tobias took a step forward, but Phan beat him to it, rolling to his feet smoothly. "And then all your petty little secrets will come out, Da. The men you left me with, the loving care Mother poured on me, the way I was born as a tool to be used to keep you together. Hey, Mother was in hiding for a reason, right? I wonder how many people still wonder where she is?"

Tobias reached for Phan's shoulder. "Easy, boy. Let's not go making threats. I'm sure we can take care of this much more civilly."

Phan turned to look at him with incredulous eyes, which he hastily dropped.

Tobias glared at Phantom's father. "Mr. Shaw, I recommend you leave. I have little doubt that Phan means what he says. Is it really worth it to take the son you never wanted away from where he wants to be, just so you can say you have a son? Do you hate him that much?"