Bombay Mixx (10 page)

I have got used to Anya’s facial expressions as usually she only shows the public one…the ‘do not mess with me look unless you want to feel my taser on your butt
,
’ but this smile was that she wanted to know something
.
‘
S
o darling, how are you today? Heavy night? Or have you started investing in men’s suits to vit in with the big vigs at work?’ she teased (due to Anya’s strong accent I knew that her ‘w’s’ sounded like ‘v’s’ however the shop assistant in Harrods did not know this when Anya asked for the Wacoal underwear section (it came out Vac-oal) and the assistant thought she was swearing at her and asked her to leave.
)

Obviously Anya would never leave Harrods without spending at least two month’s rent payments, so with the help of an understanding manager, he escorted her to the expensive underwear, whilst she
gave
the previous shop assistant a parting gift…her middle finger!

Get between Anya and her spending and you may as well write your will there and then!

I tried to glide to my room to avoid the questioning but the other
s
smelt gossip and dropped the hunt for the hair straighteners and started to corner me
.
‘
S
o who is the new fella, Neets?’ Amelia enquired. Before I could answer Gabrielle added, ‘she hasn’t got a new fella! She hasn’t even been out this week, apart from with work!’

They all paused.

‘He’s from work isn’t he?’ Amelia squealed whilst clapping her hands like she just cracked the last newspaper addition of Suduko without any helping or cheating and pretending she didn’t have two of the same numbers in the second box.  

They all looked at me like cats waiting to pounce on the silly robin who decided to go for the crumb of bread under the window, ‘I don’t know what you’re all talking about. He was just Simon. You know? The usual booty call? We met up straight from work and came back here
,
’ I lied.

They all looked at each other as though reading each others minds.

It worked!

‘Oh ok. We thought you had hooked up with someone at work and had juicy gossip to tell us but never mind
,
’ Amelia groaned.

As I walked towards my bedroom door, Amelia shouted back, ‘well at least it wasn’t your boss
,
’ and started laughing.

‘What does she mean? She obviously doesn’t know that he’s practically separated,
’
I thought as I continued to tried to ignore the remark and remember how wonderful last night’s events were.

‘Take a deep breath, get changed then go into the kitchen and enquire about the comment but not straight away as you don’t want to give anything away! Stay cool
,
’ I thought as I jumped into my dressing gown and headed for the kitchen for a much needed glass of wine.   

As I entered the coven (sorry I meant kitchen!) all the ladies were giggling about Amelia’s latest bedroom faux pas (her latest bedroom indiscretion was unfortunately when her boyf
riend, Geron, surprised her whilst
she was asleep.
S
he felt her stomach ru
mble
half way through
and
s
he thought maybe she was just hungry until Geron entered the climax stage, pulled out and Amelia’s intimate area seemed to applaud…by passing wind!!! After she disclosed the very embarrassing story
,
I wondered why she told us as we preceded to call her ‘Wind in the Hollow’ every since that moment!)
.
 

‘So
W
ind in the
H
ollow, what’s wrong with getting a little work action?’ I jokingly enquired as I poured the remains of the bottle of white into the only clean thing available, my Mr Men’s cup!

They all stopped
laughing and regarded me with suspicion. Amelia continued, ‘well have you never heard the saying
,
“never shit on your own doorstep?”
T
hat applies to wor
k colleagues, new sexy hot Brazilian
neighbours (to which Gabrielle nodded in a dreamy agreement) and your gynaecologist
,
’ the last remark
made
everyone to do a double take then we all burst into laughter.

I managed to gain the knowledge that Amelia did know Angus, however, she thought his marriage was happy but she did reveal he was a player but was unable to give me concrete evidence
,
so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The fashion show was interesting.

Skel
e
ton models wa
ndering
around in next to nothing, very old and much tanned men hanging off their arms and old women flashing the cash pretending to understand what makes a female look beautiful.

The only thing that made me get through the evening was lots of free champagne and a young waiter asking me for my telephone number (he was very cute but very young, however, the evening was full of free flowing alcohol and his butt was very firm so I gave it to him without a second thought).

Amelia was introducing Gabrielle to one of her colleagues and I could see she was interested in him as she was doing her girly, ‘I’m going to harpoon you into being my boyfriend
,
’ laugh
.
Anya met a potential client so she was sussing out his credentials (this meant the size of his wallet and his reputation. Anya could meet a billionaire but if he was not discrete and remotely intelligent, she would not give him a second thought), he seemed to be winning so I left her to it.

It got to
midnight
and I stumbled out of the after party
having
sa
id
my goodbyes and threw myself into a cab
.
‘
H
ey sezy, I’m on my way so make sure you’ve taken some Pro Plus cos you ain’t sleeping tonight’ I told Angus as I made the drunken phone call. 

In the back of the taxi I felt my head spinning but in the light, fairy way which made the world seem more funny so after laughing very hard at one of the taxi driver jokes
,
I exited the cab to meet Angus with a drunken snog and stumbled down the road to a small two bedroom flat.

The flat was compact but expensive looking with the minimal, bachelor apartment theme. With a few champagne bottles and glasses on the luxurious glass coffee table, I realised that to avoid him waiting for me to come round, he had a little party to kill the time.

We didn’t wait.

Clothes off, hands all o
ver
each others bodies, bodies being thrown around the room…

Then it stops!

‘I’m not sure what’s going on? Maybe it was the wait. It doesn’t usually happen
,
’ he says whilst pulling away.

‘OMG he cannot get an erection
,
’ echoed in my head as I looked at him with longing. As we both got into bed and lay next to each other
t
here was a moment of silence when I decided it was time to console him
.
‘
H
un, it’s really ok. It happens to everyone. It’s not your fault; I think it’s just too much alcohol on both our parts. We can just cuddle and maybe try again later’. He regarded me with
a serious look
as though I had just said I was going to broadcast his failure on You
T
ube, and then he got out of bed and started to head to the shower.

‘What the heck was going on? I didn’t blame him but now he’s treating me like I’m a leper. I have to say something
,
’ I questioned to myself and headed to the shower door.

‘Is everything ok hun?’ I enquired
.
‘
E
verything is fine but I’ve got to be up early tomorrow so maybe it’s not the best idea that you stay over tonight. I’ll call you tho
’,
’ he announced as he entered the shower with my ang
ry
thoughts being drowned out by the splashing of water.

‘Why did I feel like I had just gone from Utopia to the part of the film when Bambi’s mother gets shot by the hunter?’ I questioned as I accepted his request and gather my clothes together.

I was putting on my skirt when I grabbed my blouse which was wrapped around his phone.

It started to ring.

Chapter Two – Nothing is what it seems!

‘Honey, could you pass the rice,’ my mother asks as we sat down for Sunday dinner.

All weekend all I could think about was the train wreck of Friday night with Angus.

Neither one of us tried to contact each other and all I could do was try to forget about it by indulging in some retail therapy on Saturday and now try to enjoy the lovely and much needed home cooked dinner my father prepared today.

However, there was a slight atmosphere between my parents and the obvious awkward ambience between Renesh and his wife, so I got a bottle of white out quickly.

With the usual small talk around the table, we proceeded to stuff ourselves to maximum capacity and head to the living room for dessert and drinks.

As my mother questioned an embarrassed Renesh about when she should expect her first grandchild, my father made a sudden exit to talk on his phone.

My father was not used to his mobile phone and often called it, ‘an addiction worst than drugs,’ but I think it was because he didn’t know how to use it, and often didn’t, so I was surprised that it was attached to his ear this Sunday afternoon.

The caller was very persistent and seemed to agitate him with each call but I think it might have been one of his competitors as a few new taxi firms had opened in the area and wanted my father’s prime location but he refused to sell.

‘Parwez, can you spare your family some time and get off that phone,’ my mother shouts but my father just waves his hand and shuts the door. ‘I swear if I didn’t know how loud your father snores I’d swear he has got a younger toy,’ my mother announces.

We all looked at each other in shock then Renesh starts to laugh, ‘don’t be silly mum. Dad would never do that. You know you’re his Irish Goddess,’ he says whilst giving her a hug.

After Gabrielle rescues the tension with one of her footballer stories, my father renters the room and we continue to talk about the potential grandchildren my parents should expect from Renesh and Shilpa.

**********

Sunday dinner was just what I needed as I knew the week ahead would not be so light hearted or fun.

‘
Why has he not called me
?’
I questioned myself as I snuggled into bed with my huge mug of hot chocolate and the latest celebrity magazine. The only break in my Angus train of thought came when I saw a very famous actress on the beach and the photographer’s zoom was not kind to her cellulite.

**********

The alarm rang and I felt like I had only just closed my eyes.

My heavy heart allowed me to enter a luke-warm shower and eat my uninspired cereal whilst trying not to think about seeing Angus in the next two hours.

I realised that even though he had been a complete and utter sod by not phoning me and clearly blaming me for his misfortune on Friday night, I would swallow the tears back, act unfazed by his childish behaviour and look stunning.

So, out came the hair straighteners, hair serum, and expensive facial cream, the perfume you reserve for high-priced evenings, (when you know that you’ll be getting your money’s worth from the date) and the sexy but professional black, skirt suit.

‘Ooooh sexy lady,’ Amelia joked as I was about to exit the bomb site (sorry the flat!).