Bodyguards (18 page)

Looking at the bier again, she
tried to picture her mother lying there, or Anabel, but the thought started to
choke her up again. She turned away toward the yard. The same wildflowers she
had walked through that morning waved gently into the breeze on their long
stems. She focused her emotions—her grief—into a tight ball of willpower, and
imagined those flowers rising into the air like the rocks had, coming to soften
the dark stones with their petals. As hard as she tried, though, nothing
happened. The flowers continued to shift back and forth into the wind.
Frustration started to chip away at her focus.

“What are you trying to do?” Brad
asked.

She started when his hand brushed
her shoulder; she hadn’t noticed him approach.

“Nothing. I’ll just...pick some
flowers. For the...the ceremony. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Would you like me to
help you?”

“No.” The word came out fast, and
she could tell he was hurt. She touched his arm and lowered her voice. “I mean,
I want to do this myself. For Ana. But thank you.”

He gave her a soft smile and returned
to the bench.

Vivien gathered flowers of every
color and every shape, bringing them and their sweet scents to the bier by the
armload and arranging them in a mattress of colors. Some of the flowers had
small thorns like roses, and a few times she pricked her fingers and palms; she
didn’t care.

She continued picking flowers even
when the shadow of the castle grew long over her as the sky slowly darkened.
With each flower she added to the bier, one more memory of her life with Anabel
rose to the surface, reminding her how much she’d been loved. Before long,
silent tears were rolling down her cheeks. She let them.

Dusk came. As Vivien lay down the
last of the flowers, she saw Brad approach—no, it was Aedan; Brad was still on
the bench. In his arms, Aedan carried Anabel’s body, a sheet wrapped around her
like a shroud. Vivien had shed all the tears in her body, but her eyes still
prickled when she raised her hands and said in a small, shaky voice, “Let me.”

He paused briefly, and she thought
he would once again argue with her, but eventually he held out Anabel’s body to
her. She weighed next to nothing, Vivien reflected as she turned to lay her on
top of the flowers, as though what had given her substance had left her when
she had died. For a second, Vivien thought of opening the shroud to look at her
face one last time, but she retreated without touching it and went back to the
bench. Her knees felt weak when she sat next to Brad. Aedan was standing
nearby.

“What now?” she whispered, but
Brad was already channeling.

In the growing darkness, the light
and colors that burst from him should have been brighter, but they still were
easy to see. They surrounded the bier, encasing it and the wrapped body in
dancing shimmers that looked like flames but weren’t. Petals rose into the
night sky, and with them, motes of light like fireflies. Vivien wasn’t sure if
her heart felt so tight because it was all so beautiful or because she was so
sad.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Choices

It took the better part of an hour
before nothing remained on the bier but wilted flowers. Even without the bond,
Aedan would have known how exhausted Bradan was: he had been in his position
before, straining to hold on to his focus to complete the ceremony and return
their mother to the Quickening. Bradan had been too young to help then; he had
tried, but after a few moments his focus had shattered. Tonight, Vivien had
tried, Bradan guiding her into channeling with quiet, patient words, but she
hadn’t managed to focus. Aedan had struggled to hold his tongue; what advice
could he give when it had been so long since he had channeled?

As they reentered the castle,
Aedan took the lead and started toward the kitchen, glancing back once to make
sure they were following. Bradan’s arm was back around Vivien’s waist, and the
familiarity of the gesture troubled Aedan. It wasn’t his place to say anything,
though, especially not at that moment.

When she realized where they were
headed, Vivien protested that she wasn’t hungry, but once Bradan softly
mentioned that he hadn’t had anything to eat all day, she followed easily
enough. Before joining them outside, Aedan had cleared the tray of food that
had been left on the table and set an open book in its place. Bradan noticed it
at once and gave Aedan a questioning look, although he remained silent.

As Aedan took his usual place by
the wall—close to the door, across from the window where he could see anyone
approach if the shields fell—he bode his time and waited for Vivien to finally
notice the book, too. For a while, she nibbled at the piece of fruit Bradan had
put in front of her, her eyes lost in a world of her own. When she drew herself
out of it, however, her gaze fell on the book, and she tugged it closer to her.

“What’s this?” she asked, her
voice a little aloof.

“The answer to the king’s
summons.” Aedan had a hard time not letting his excitement burst through. “If
you read it, you’ll understand.”

A frown creasing her brow, she
tugged the book a little closer still. Bradan stood and came to lean over her
shoulder to read as well. Aedan could hardly wait for them to be finished, but
he forced himself to remain quiet until Bradan was the first to look up and
ask, “Do you really think it’d work?”

“I’m sure of it. I’ve been at his
side for decades, I know him as well as anyone can, and I’m certain he wouldn’t
pass the chance to echo a deed so famous it became legend.”

The same excitement Aedan felt was
reflected back at him through his bond with Bradan. They grinned at each other.

“It doesn’t matter whether it
would work or not,” Vivien said, shaking her head. “Brad is taking me back to
Earth. Right?”

She raised her face toward Bradan
as she finished. His grin vanished in a flash, as did Aedan’s.

“If that’s what you want,” Bradan
said. “But—”

“It is what I want.” She looked at
Aedan then, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off his brother. “I know you can’t
come, but you’ll be safe here. The shields will protect you.”

“Safe,” Aedan repeated tonelessly.
“Of course.”

Even dying, when he had been
remade, had not hurt this much. He’d be safe in the castle, yes. Safe in an
empty house. Until the day the shields failed because there was no one there to
maintain them. Then he’d have to answer to the king, his Maker, or both.

Vivien had no way of knowing that,
but Bradan did. Aedan did not try to hide his pain or how betrayed he felt,
trusting the bond to carry every bit of it to Bradan. His eyes, when they met
Aedan’s, gleamed with an apology neither of them had ever needed to utter
before. Aedan would never have believed that anything, and even less a woman,
could stand between them, and yet there she was. The same oath that had united
them even when they’d been in different worlds would break them apart in the
end.

“Brother,” Bradan started, but
Aedan didn’t want to hear it.

Without a word, he crossed the
room to the outside door and stepped out into a night as dark as his thoughts.

* * * *

“I’m sorry,” Vivien said once
again as Brad accompanied her to her bedroom door.

“You have nothing to apologize
for,” he replied almost mechanically. “My choices are my own.”

So he had said down in the
kitchen, but Vivien couldn’t chase away the feeling that she had destroyed
something precious between the two brothers.

“But Aedan—” she started, only for
Brad to interrupt her right away.

“Would you like me to warm some
water so you can wash up? Or I can show you how to do it.”

Vivien agreed with a quiet murmur
and led the way to the small bathroom attached to her room. An old-fashioned
metal tub stood against the wall, and Brad showed her how to rotate the nozzle
of the water pump from the sink to the tub to quickly fill it. Then he
channeled to warm the water, explaining in a quiet voice what he was doing and
asking if she wanted to try. She didn’t. Twice earlier she had tried to
channel, with no success.

It didn’t matter. After she left
this place, she’d never channel again; Anabel had admonished her not to, as it
would allow Rhuinn to find her again. Would Brad miss it? She supposed he
would. One more thing he’d have to leave behind for her. Guilt washed over her,
and she swallowed the apology that was coming to her lips yet again.

Instead, she rested a hand on his
arm and drew his attention to her. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For the
water, and for taking me home, and for...for Anabel.”

Rising up on her toes, she pressed
a kiss to his cheek. The impassive mask he had adopted since Aedan had left
broke, revealing a pained smile.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured.
“Try to get some sleep. We’ll leave in the morning.”

He closed the door behind him,
leaving Vivien alone with too many thoughts. She undressed before stepping into
the tub, her hair piled in a bun on top of her head so it wouldn’t get wet. She
sat in water deliciously warm when she felt so cold inside, her legs raised in
front of her and her cheek resting on top of her knees, and tried to process
everything that had happened today, but her mind was swirling with too many
emotions.

The pain and grief from Anabel’s
passing battled with her guilt; it was her fault if Anabel had died, hurt by a
man who only wanted Vivien. The joy she had felt when Brad had told her he
loved her clashed with her discomfort at how much he was willing to sacrifice
for her; could she even ask that much of him? Could she take that much from his
brother? She’d been annoyed at Aedan’s insistence to protect her any way he saw
fit, regardless of what she wanted, but what would he have left once Brad took
her home?

And then there was her fear. From
everything they had told her about Rhuinn, he was not a good man, far from it.
He didn’t hesitate to hurt those who stood in his way. And what was she, if not
an obstacle? She’d never asked to be, but she was by the simple fact of her
birth, and she was scared of what he might do to her to make sure she wouldn’t
take his throne, never mind that she had no interest in it. She was scared of
what he might do to the people trying to protect her, too, like he had killed
Anabel.

Little by little, all the emotions
started to coalesce and change into anger. She was angry that this man she didn’t
even know had so much power over her life and the lives of those around her,
that he had taken what remained of her family from her, and that he had left
her no choice but to run in front of him—and oh, how she hated to run from
bullies!

Except...she did have a choice,
didn’t she? Aedan had given her an alternative. It was crazy and risky, but it
might also be crazy and risky enough to work. Now the question was, was she
crazy enough to try?

If she was asking herself the
question, she had to be.

She splashed water all around the
tub as she got out. She hurriedly dried herself and, wrapped in her towel,
marched into her bedroom. She threw on an over-sized t-shirt she used as
nightgown and a pair of sweat pants and resolutely left her room. She paused, then,
unsure of where Brad’s room was.

“Brad?” she called out, and the
word seemed to echo through the corridor. A door opened behind her. She turned
and walked to the next room over. Brad was standing on the threshold, a towel
in his hands, his chest bare save for his necklace and his pants riding low on
his hips.

“What’s wrong?” he asked at once,
worry thick in his voice. “Are you all right?”

“Suppose I go to Rhuinn and he
doesn’t kill me on sight,” she asked as she approached his door. “What happens
next?”

Brad blinked twice very fast.
“What happens next?” he repeated like he didn’t understand the question.

“What did you think would happen
when I returned here?” she insisted. “Did you expect me to... I don’t know.
Have a coup d’état all on my own when I don’t know the first thing about
Foh’Ran?”

“Oh. No, of course. Your family
always had allies. When they realize you’ve come back, they’re bound to support
you. And if you get enough support, Rhuinn will have no choice but to surrender
the throne or fight for it.”

She thought for a second.
Allies... She hadn’t imagined that. She’d thought only Brad and Aedan were on
her side. But if others supported her, things might be easier. And if Aedan’s
plan worked, she’d have some time to recruit those allies.

She still didn’t care for the
throne, but that man had caused Anabel’s death. She would get him thrown out,
or better yet thrown in jail, and then she’d abdicate the throne to someone
sane and go back home to Earth.

And if she didn’t get enough
support, she’d still have time to go home anyway, just as long as she survived
that first meeting.

“What if Aedan’s plan doesn’t
work?” she insisted, needing to cover all possibilities. “What then?”

Brad had to understand how close
she was to agreeing, because his eyes lit up with excitement. “He’s sure—”

“What if he’s wrong?”

“If he’s wrong, I’ll tear the
entire palace apart if I have to and get you back to Earth right then and
there.”

He didn’t add words like ‘promise’
or ‘swear,’ but the oath was right there in the strength of his voice and the
intensity of his gaze. He looked down after a second then met her eyes again
and spoke more hesitantly.

“There’s something I think you
should know. Aedan didn’t tell you. He never would burden you with that. But if
we left… If he had to stay here alone… Well, he wouldn’t be able to maintain
the shields.”

For the time of a couple
heartbeats, Vivien had trouble understanding what his point was. Surely he
couldn’t mean that their departure would basically condemn Aedan to death,
could he? But yes, she realized. That was exactly what he meant.

“Why didn’t he say something?” she
murmured, stunned.

Brad grimaced. “Your life before
ours. That was the oath we swore.”

She was beginning to hate that
oath about as much as she hated the idea of someone else dying to protect her.
She swallowed hard as Anabel’s image flickered through her mind. Anabel had
wanted Vivien to go home, and yet… Vivien wasn’t fond of Aedan or of the way he
treated her like she couldn’t be trusted to act like a grown up, but she
couldn’t deny that all he had done was try to help her. No, not just try. He
had helped her, saved her, and she owed him and Brad.

She inhaled deeply, called herself
insane, and let out her breath in a rush of words.

“All right. I’ll go to Rhuinn.”

A beat passed, long enough for
Vivien to wonder if Brad had understood what she’d said. She was about to say
it again when he clutched her waist, drew her to him, and kissed her hard. She
was too startled to reciprocate before he pulled away and let go of her, taking
a step back inside his room with a guilty look etched on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I
shouldn’t have. I don’t know what possessed me.”

Vivien’s surprise melted in a rush
of longing. She was frightened, and angry, and heartbroken, and the last thing
she wanted was to be alone. “You’re not allowed to say ‘shouldn’t,’ remember?”
she said in a rough voice.

She barely had time to see him
frown before she closed the space between them, wrapped her arms around his
neck and kissed him again. This time, he was startled, but after a second or
two he started to kiss her back, his hands at her waist again. They held her
more gently now, but still tight enough against him that she could feel the
effect she had on him. She moaned into the kiss, and he kissed her that much
more fiercely.

Again, he pulled away much too
soon, and Vivien’s moan, this time, was one of frustration.

“Are you sure this is what you
want?” he asked in an urgent whisper, his fingers flexing on her waist. “It’s
been a long day; a lot’s happened. It’s normal if you feel sad or alone. We
don’t have to do this. I can just keep you company.”

“Do
you
want this?” she
shot back. “Because the only way I’m going to regret it is if you wake up sorry
for spending the night with me.”

A twisted little smile tugged at
Brad’s lips. “And the only way I’ll be sorry is if it ends up being just one
night.”