Boarlander Silverback (Boarlander Bears Book 3) (10 page)

“Do you talk to your family anymore?”

“Fuck no. I’m a traitor in their eyes, and that’s fine by me. I don’t regret leaving them behind.”

She was quiet for a long time, mulling that over. Kirk said it so flippantly, like his family group meant nothing to him now, but she knew better. “I used to beg my mom to stay straight for me. Beg and beg and beg. And she would change for a few days. A week. Maybe two, and I would get in this endless cycle where I believed her because I wanted so badly to feel like I was important enough for her to change and be better. And each time she failed me, I was cut deeper.” Alison scooted closer to Kirk and rested her head on his shoulder. “She was no good, but it didn’t change me wishing that she was. It hurts, tearing your heart away from the people who you are supposed to love the most, Kirk. It hurts for always.”

Eyes on the storm, Kirk heaved a sigh and nodded. “Yeah.”

“It makes it hard to let people in.”

Another nod. Kirk picked up a rock and chucked it into the river that was tumbling over the cliff ledge in front of them. “I was doing a bang up job until I came to work for the Boarlanders.” He chuckled darkly. “And then you came along and filled my hollow parts and now I can’t stop
feeling
. It’s annoying.”

She giggled and clamped her teeth over his arm, then rested her chin on it and looked up at him. “Ugh, feelings. So gross.”

“So gross,” he agreed, but he was smiling now.

“I still don’t regret it, just so you know.”

Kirk’s gaze drifted to her shoulder. “Does it still hurt?”

“Like hellfire.”

“You heal ridiculously slowly.”

“Yeah,” she said, shoving him back until he lay on the ground. “Being human is such a drag.” She straddled his stomach and grinned down at him.

He slid his hands up her thighs and narrowed his eyes. “This is the part where you’re supposed to be scrambling back down the trail to escape me.”

“Yeah, I chopped up bricks of coke in a dank room completely naked for two years. Sorry, babe. I don’t scare easily.”

“Mm. So you know, I’m going to have to fight more now.”

“Why?”

The smile dipped from his face, and then returned slowly. “Because you’re my family group now.”

“And your instincts tell you to keep in tip-top shape to protect me?”

He dipped his chin to his chest. “That’s right.”

“You know I can protect myself, right?”

“I do. My gorilla doesn’t care about that stuff, though. It’s ingrained in me.”

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because A—fucking you under the falls was awesome. B—you asked me to claim you, and C—I thought maybe this part of me would’ve been broken after what happened with Fiona. I was afraid watching Kong get tortured had killed my protective instincts. And maybe it did for a while but now everything is different. I would do anything to keep you safe and happy, because I feel normal around you. And for me, that’s a really big deal.”

“You feel like a normal silverback gorilla man.”

“Yep.”

She snickered and splayed her hands against his taut chest, locking her arms against him. “You’ve turned me into a criminal, you know.”

“Breaking the law,” he drawled, though he didn’t look guilty at all. “We can keep your mark to ourselves if you want.”

She fingered the healing skin of her bite on his chest. “I think we have to. They can arrest you if they know you’ve claimed me. And they won’t put you in some solitary confinement cell, Kirk. They’ll put you somewhere they can make an example of you. Somewhere you’ll be targeted by other inmates. I can’t be the reason you get hurt. I need you here with me.”

He drew her palm to his lips and kissed her gently. “Say that last part again.”

“Kirk, I’m serious. We could get in huge trouble—”

“Woman, I knew the risks going into this. I was forced to sign a damned abstinence contract and work a job I hated, and now I’m being forced to give up on claiming you? At some point I have to do what I want and say fuck everyone trying to run my life. It’s me and you now. We’ll keep our marks hidden and share the secret, just me and you. And when yours heals… probably in ten years, because look at that,” he said, brushing his fingertips near her shoulder and holding up his red-stained hand. “You’re still bleeding.”

She swatted his hand away.

“When your mark heals,” he continued, “it’ll be hidden by your tattoos. Someone will have to look pretty damn hard to catch us.”

“You got a claiming mark!” Bash yelled.

“Aw, shit,” Kirk muttered, sitting up quick and shielding her from the grinning titan who had just poked his head up from the cliff trail.

“Guys, I found them, and Clinton, you were wrong. They aren’t fucking gorilla-style! They’re cuddling, and she has a claiming mark!” Bash’s voice echoed across the mountains.

No, no, no!

Alison scrambled to pull the thin strap of her tank top over her puncture wounds as Bash climbed up the trail and turned to give Emerson a hand up.

“Bash,” Kirk rushed out in a hiss. “Keep your voice down. She isn’t supposed to have one.”

“Oh, yeah,” Bash said, slamming a big blue cooler down next to them. “The cops told us no claiming. But you’re the cop,” Bash said, eyebrows arched high. “That’s funny. Boarlanders got a cop mate now.” The dark-headed bear shifter frowned. “Or the Lowlanders. Does this mean I get to play with your gun?”

“Uuuh,” Alison said, “no.”

“Damn.”

Emerson was holding a small video camera pointed at Alison and Kirk as she sank into her mate’s lap and said, “I’m doing videos of our crew for when our baby gets older. I’m documenting everything so Bash and I can do a video documentary for memories. We suck at scrapbooking.” Emerson panned to the tumbling river in front of them. “Nice place. You ever jumped off the falls?”

Alison felt silly straddling Kirk’s lap now, but when she tried to move off him, he held her tighter. “I have a boner,” he gritted out with a significant look.

“I have a boner, too,” Bash said as he pulled a bottle of beer from the cooler. “I mean, I always have a boner now that Emerson is around because her tits are soft and bounce around real nice—”

“That’s good, Bash Bear,” Emerson said through a giggle as she cupped his cheek.

“But I was just telling them my dick gets even harder now that you’re pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” Alison asked.

“Yeah, and it isn’t against the law,” Emerson said defensively.

“No, no. I’m not getting you in trouble. Congratulations!”

Under her, Kirk’s boner was getting harder and bigger. Him using her to cover it up wasn’t helping.

Bash handed her a beer. “Since you’re wicked and unlawful now, you and Kirk should have tons of babies. Fuck in ten-ten if you want to get instant pregnant. I’ll babysit.”

“Oh, God,” Kirk muttered, hugging her tighter against his chest.

“You smell like blood and sex,” Bash said, right before he took a long swig of his drink. “I like your dove tattoo on your side boob.”

Alison buried her face against Kirk’s chest as her cheeks burned with mortification.

Emerson helped zero percent. She was just sitting in her mate’s lap, laughing.

“What does it mean?” Kirk asked, looking at it sideways as she scrambled to pull the low hanging sleeve hole over to cover her skin better. She regretted not putting her bra back on.

Horrified, she whispered, “It’s a reminder to see the good in people.”

Kirk’s eyes jerked to hers, and a slow, heart-stopping smile stretched his lips. “I like that. What about that one?” He pointed to the sails of a pirate ship that took up most of her ribcage.

Self-conscious, she hung her head and cast Bash and Emerson a shy glance. No way could she muster the courage to explain them to anyone other than Kirk, much less on camera. “I don’t really show these to people.”

“Well, why not?” Bash asked.

“I guess because I’m kind of messed up, and these tell my story.”

“You ain’t messed up,” Bash said with a shake of his head. He pointed to Harrison, who had just crested the trail. “He’s messed up. I’m messed up.” He pointed his beer bottle back to the woods, where a still drunk and swaying Clinton was leaning heavily against a tree. “He’s super messed up.”

“I’m normal,” Mason called from down the trail.

Bash shook his head and lowered his voice. “No he ain’t. Point is we’re all messed up. You look pretty damn normal to me. You and Kirk both.”

Huh.

“You think Kirk is normal and I’m not?” Clinton slurred. “You’re an ass…butt.”

“Good one, Clinton,” Harrison said as he sat on Kirk’s other side.

“I think I’m going to puke,” Clinton groaned.

When Harrison leaned back on locked arms and narrowed his eyes on Alison, the air suddenly felt too heavy to breathe. “Nice claiming mark.”

Clinton fell with a thud onto the ground behind them, rested his hands on his stomach, and glared up at the sky. “She’ll be the death of us all now. Bye bye Boarlanders.”

Emerson glared at him. “You’re exhausting.”

“Good job, Kirk,” Clinton mumbled. “You claimed a grenade.”

“What does that mean?” Alison asked. She was trying real hard not to get offended, but this guy was being a jerk.

“You still think you’re here to keep the peace, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she gritted out, “because I am.”

Clinton started fake snoring. Everyone stared at him for a moment, then Bash went back to passing out beers, and Mason sat down next to Clinton’s limp body.

“Hey, remember that time you claimed the woman who shot you?” Mason asked.

“Dude,” Kirk said with a frown for the dark-haired behemoth sitting behind him.

“I’m just pointing out that Bash said you’re the normal one of the group, which clearly is not the case.”

“Does everyone know I shot you?” Alison asked.

Kirk said, “No,” at the same time everyone else said, “Yes.”

Fantastic.

“I don’t like weapons in my territory,” Harrison said in a dark, gravelly voice.

Her stomach dipped to her toes, and slowly, she turned around and settled on the ground between Kirk’s legs. “I owe you an apology. Lots of them, actually. I didn’t know what you and Georgia had been through. I was just doing what I was trained to do, but my partner and I should’ve taken the time to come in slow and easy. It wasn’t the first impression I had hoped to make on you, and I won’t bring my weapon into your territory anymore out of respect for what you’ve been through.”

“Isn’t that dangerous for you, being here unprotected?” There was a sarcastic edge to the alpha’s voice.

Eyes on another lightning flash over the mountains, Alison huffed a breath and shook her head. “I don’t think my Glock would protect me from much here. And besides, I don’t feel like I need it anymore when I’m up here.” She shrugged her shoulder up to her ear. “I have Kirk, and none of you seem to want to hurt me.”

“I do,” Clinton said.

“Hurt her, and I’ll kill you,” Kirk said nonchalantly as he brushed his fingers down the dove tattoo.

When Alison turned to look at Clinton around Kirk’s shoulder, Mason was glaring down at him with a calculating look. “I could suffocate him if you want me to, Boss Bear.”

“Let him be,” Harrison ground out. “Officer Holman, Kirk ain’t mine to worry about. He’s Kong’s. That and he’s a grown-ass man who can make his own decision on who he chooses for a mate.” He turned a lightened gaze on her. “I hope you’ll excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but you feel scary. That mark on your shoulder is illegal now, and you’re a human cop. I don’t want him hurt.”

“I don’t either, and I understand your concern. We’re going to hide it, though. I won’t hurt him. I won’t hurt any of you.” She leveled the alpha a look and let him see the honesty in her eyes when she whispered, “I promise.”

Alison liked the Boarlanders.

They’d sat up above the falls for an hour teasing and laughing and cutting up as they watched the storm pass. Even when it had started sprinkling on them, no one moved to get up. And little by little, Harrison had relaxed beside her.

Kirk had gone completely affectionate, cuddling her, stroking her, kissing the back of her neck and around her claiming mark in between talking to the others, almost as if he didn’t notice he was doing it.

Something had changed between them since they’d made love under the falls. Or perhaps that change had come about because they’d opened up to each other afterward, or because they’d claimed each other, she didn’t know. All she knew was she’d never felt this sure of anyone, or this happy.

“I’m glad I’m not the only human in the crew anymore,” Emerson said, cradling her still flat stomach.

Kirk nibbled Alison’s earlobe and smiled against her. “I’m glad, too. I thought there was no way in hell a woman like her would ever settle for a man like me.”

“Now that’s just stupid,” Bash said. “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with you, and love don’t work like that. Emerson’s the smartest woman on the planet, and she picked me.”

“She ain’t that smart then,” Clinton grumbled.

“Go jump off a cliff,” Mason said.

“Okay.” Clinton stood up and sauntered to the edge, right beside the falls. “I’m gonna do it, and I’ll probably die, and y’all will miss me when I’m gone.”

“No, don’t do it,” Kirk said half-heartedly.

Clinton narrowed his eyes at all of them, gave them the bird with both hands, and launched himself off the edge.

A few seconds later, there was a huge splash below them.

“Is he dead?” Mason asked, making his way to the ledge.

“I jump from here all the time,” Kirk muttered. “We can’t get rid of him that easily.”

“Still alive,” Clinton taunted them from below.

“See?” Kirk said. He swung his attention to Alison, and now there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Hold your nose.”

“What?” Alison asked, startled.

Kirk was grinning now and looked pure wicked. “Hold your nose!”

He launched upward, taking her with him in a tight embrace, then jumped from the falls. Alison screamed bloody murder as her stomach lodged in her throat and tried to escape her body, and at the last, heart-pounding second, she sucked in a breath and pinched her nose. And oh, that river stung her skin, but underwater, her anger evaporated as she opened her eyes. Kirk was there smiling like a maniac, and around them, the other Boarlanders were dropping into the water, surrounded by millions of tiny bubbles that raced toward the surface.

Kirk shoved her toward the surface with a surprising amount of strength, and she broke the waves with a gasp. “Monster!” she yelped as he bit her ass on his way up.

He treaded water as the others came up for air. Unashamedly, he said, “I can see your nipples through your shirt now.”

“We should call Audrey and ask her to bring home barbecue,” Bash called from where he bobbed in the water. “You should have a claiming party.”

“You just want an excuse to throw a party,” Clinton muttered as he swam by like a grumpy frog.

“No, I don’t. Claiming is a big deal. Ally is one of us now.”

“No, Bash,” Harrison said. “She’ll be a Lowlander claim.”

Kirk’s smile faded as he watched the Boarlander alpha swim toward shore.

Something about the hurt in his expression slashed pain through Alison’s stomach. The decision to stay or go back to Kong wasn’t just hurting Kirk, she realized. The uncertainty was hurting all of them.

She kissed his neck because she was a coward. It hurt too much to see that pain in his eyes. He rubbed her back gently, then pushed her toward shore. She understood his need for action. She didn’t like people seeing her hurt either.

Up on the sandy beach though, Harrison cursed loud enough for it to echo through the valley. He linked his hands behind his head, then turned slowly. His eyes were blazing bright blue, and he looked as gutted as Kirk did. “I’m sorry, man. My bear got set off when Officer Holman and her partner came charging into our woods, and I’m spiraling, but it’s no excuse. I’m happy you found her. Happy you found the one. I’ll call Audrey and ask her to bring back food tonight, and we’ll celebrate it right. Legality be damned, this is a really big deal.”

Alison dragged her feet through the waves and did her best to cover her tits with her crossed arms. Her thin, soaking wet shirt wasn’t doing her any favors as Kirk guided her up toward the sandy beach, his hand on her lower back.

“Harrison,” Kirk said, “I know you don’t get the draw, but she’s been calling to my gorilla since that first night in the woods. She came into our territory, all fierce looking, gun pulled, here to save Emerson, but that was the moment for me. I was Changed, and my animal drew up short on a woman for the first time ever. My animal picked, and I tried to fight it. She tried to fight it, too. I did my best not to call her, to leave her alone, but I only lasted a day and a half and it hurt us both. It felt like ripping my own guts out being away from her. You know fighting a pairing doesn’t work.”

“I know,” Harrison murmured. With a sigh, he stuck out a hand to Alison. “Harrison Lang, alpha of the Boarlanders.”

Okay, they were starting over, and she was glad for it, but she was also wearing a soaking wet shirt. She squeaked and shook his hand fast, then covered back up. “Alison Holman, but I would really like it if you called me Ally instead of Officer Holman. I’m off duty.”

“She said doody,” Bash said with a snicker, and up the beach, hiking down the trail toward them, Emerson giggled.

Harrison’s face cracked into a grin, and he snorted. Shaking his head, he took off for the woods and called over his shoulder, “Come on, Bash Bear. We have a claiming party to throw together. Ally, welcome to the C-Team.”