Blurring the Line (32 page)
Authors: Kierney Scott
Beth shook her head. “Then move here. I can’t move home. I’m not done. My job here isn’t done. There is a very bad man on the loose and I can stop him. I thought I could just walk away, but I can’t. I need to finish what I started.”
Ruth smiled. “Of course you do. I never doubt that. You set a goal and you always achieve it no matter how long it takes. Long after everyone has given up, you just keep plodding along until you get there. Have I ever told you how much I admire you?”
“You’re going to make me cry.”
“Too late,” her mom laughed as she wiped a tear away.
“Move here. Please.”
Ruth dropped her hand. “I can’t. I can’t do that to you, Beth. I’m sick. I want to pretend that I’m going to get better but every day it is getting worse. I see it but I can’t stop it. I don’t want you to have to watch me get sick. I don’t want to be that person. I want to keep being your mom. I can’t do that here… If I was here…you would have to see me…die.”
Beth took in a sharp breath. The pain of the word hit like an acute stab between her ribs. “No,” she whimpered.
“Yes, Pretty Girl. I’m going to die. We all are. But I don’t want you to see me deteriorate. I don’t want you to be burdened with me.”
Beth shook her head. “You will never be a burden,” she said adamantly. “I want to take care of you, Mom. I want you here. I need you here.” Her knees went slack. She put Alejandra on the floor with some soft blocks so she would not drop her. “I want all the time I can get with you. And…when…when you do go, I want to be by your side. Please Mama, let me take care of you.”
Ruth swallowed hard. “I won’t even know you at the end.”
Beth reached up and wrapped her arms around her mom. “I know, Mama. But I’ll know you. I’ll always know you. Let me take care of you. I need you.”
“I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want you to resent me and ruin the memory of who I was. I’m the mom, I am the one who should be doing the caretaking.”
“You did. You did, for so long, Mama. Now it’s my turn. Please let me take care of you. Please give me this time with you. I need you.” She buried her head in the curve of her mother’s neck.
Her mom gently rubbed her back, the way she did when she was little. She would sing to her and rub her back as she drifted off to sleep. The memory played in her mind, wrapped in longing and sadness. Those were times she would never get back and she wanted so badly to rewind the clock to a simpler time when her mom was invincible and there was no safer place than her soft arms.
“Of course, Pretty Girl, I will stay with you forever. I will always pick you. I always have. Please don’t forget that. Soon, I won’t be able to remind you so I need you to remember for both of us. Know how much you are loved. Know how special you are. Know there was never a choice, it was always you.”
Beth nodded. “Thank you, Mama. Thank you.” Beth held her tighter. She needed this moment to go on a little longer. She felt safe again. It was an illusion, just another lie she told herself, but she would happily let herself believe.
If only for a moment, she felt whole again.
CARINA™
ISBN: 978 1 472 09958 7
Blurring the Line
Copyright © 2014 Kierney Scott
Published in Great Britain (2014)
by Carina, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited, Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
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