Bluewing (22 page)

But when the door swished open, all thoughts of Adam and relationships fled from my mind.

A young woman stood in the middle of the greenhouse, her back to me. Her red hair was matted and dirty, and her arms and legs were wrapped in rags. Her long cloak was stained and torn.

I realized only after I’d stood there a second that she was holding a gun, and she had it pointed at Gabe’s chest. Then I realized it was
Claire
.

A leaf crunched beneath my foot as I took a step back, and Claire whirled. She pointed the weapon from me to Gabe. “You,” she snarled, recognizing me. “Go stand by him so I can see you both.”

I did what she said without speaking.

“Claire,” Gabe said. “Don’t—”

“My name isn’t Claire,” she interrupted. “That was just my assigned name as one of the fugitives. My real name is Clara.”

“Not so different,” I said.

“Shut up, Lila.” She gave me a withering look, and I did what she said. I exchanged a glance with Gabe, and his eyes begged me to let him do the talking.

“Claire—Clara—please listen to me. We were friends on the other side—”

“Friends!” She laughed, low and bitter. “You were going to abandon me there. She was going to abandon me.” She waved the gun in my direction.

“No, I wasn’t,” he said. “Calm down. We were never going to leave you behind.”

“Weren’t you?” she said, her voice pitching with a note of panic.

“Claire,” I said. “Put the gun down and don’t be a fool. If you shoot us now, there’s truly no going back.”

“Yes,” Gabe murmured soothingly. “You made a mistake before, but we can talk about it.”

I eyed him. Stealing the PLD had been more than a
mistake
. She’d betrayed us. But I let him talk.

“Is that why you did it?” he asked. “Because you were afraid we were going to leave you?”

“I...no.” The gun in her hands wavered. “He promised me...” she stopped.

“Who?” I demanded. “Gordon?”

“Quiet.” She glared at me.

“Clara,” Gabe said, as gentle as if he were talking to a small child. “Please tell us. What did he promise you?”

Her eyes filled with tears. “He said he had a way to heal my mother. She is sick...she’s always been sick, and he said there was no cure in his time for what ailed her. But he said that he could give me a bit of the Sickness and she’d take it and be well again.”

“Give your mother the Sickness?” I couldn’t help myself. “Are you insane? You’d kill her.”

“He said those who recovered were stronger, healed of their ailments...”

“Besides,” I snapped, “With the PLD in his hands, how were you even supposed to get back here to help your mother in the first place?”

Claire scowled at me. “I wasn’t going to let him
keep
it. I’m not completely stupid. He would give me the cure for my mother and then I would take the PLD back and return it to Jacob.”

I wasn’t sure if I believed any of this. It was all very convenient. A sick mother, a plan to give it back after all...but Gabe clearly believed her. He nodded, his expression sympathetic. I remembered him saying they had been friends.

“How have you been surviving?” he asked.

She shrugged with one shoulder but didn’t lower the gun. “On berries, bark, animals I could steal from traps...whatever I could find until I stumbled across this place. I’ve been sleeping here most nights.”

So she was the one who’d made the trampled-down places we’d seen.

“Where did you get the gun?” I demanded.

“I stole it from a soldier’s pack while he drank from a stream,” she said. “I needed to protect myself. And I tried to shoot a few animals, but I never did get anything.”

“You’re lucky the Watchers didn’t attack you,” I said.

She shrugged again.

“Let us go, Clara,” Gabe said. “Let us help you.”

I bit my tongue to keep from protesting. I didn’t trust her.

Her hand wavered a little bit, and she stared into his eyes. Finally, she nodded and lowered the weapon, and Gabe inched forward and took it from her hand with infinite slowness. “Thank you,” he said.

She nodded and pressed her lips together.

“What now?” I asked.

“We could use her help,” Gabe murmured to me.

I jerked my head toward one corner of the greenhouse. I wanted to talk to him without her listening to our conversation. After a moment’s pause, he followed me until we were far enough away to speak freely.

“I don’t like this.”

“She was frightened and desperate.”

“She betrayed us!”

“You heard her yourself,” he said. “She never meant to give the PLD away forever.”

“That’s easy to say now,” I argued. “She could say anything, and we have no way to prove otherwise.”

“I believe her.” His eyes blazed with determination. “I think we should let her join us again. She’s been starving. Look at her.”

She did look pitiful—ragged clothing, gaunt cheekbones.

“We should ask Jonn about it.”

“No,” he said. “We need to offer her sanctuary now. Otherwise, she’ll run. I know it.”

I chewed my lip. Now that Adam was back, he should have a say. I wanted to ask his opinion. But Gabe was right. If we hesitated now, she’d probably go. And I was not totally heartless. She was clearly starving.

“She’ll be your responsibility,” I said finally.

“I know. We can trust her, Lia.”

I wasn’t so sure...but I trusted him, at least. He held my eyes for another second before turning away to speak to her.

“Clara?”

She was like a bird poised for flight. Her eyes darted to him and then to the door.

“We want you to stay,” he said. “You can help us. We need you, and we’ll help you.”

Her throat convulsed as she swallowed hard. She looked at me as if searching for signs of rejection. I kept my expression neutral. Finally, she nodded. Her shoulders slipped from their rigid posture.

“All right,” she said.

“AND YOU DON’T trust her?” Adam asked, eyeing Claire from where we sat together over Jonn’s table. She was crouched by the shelves, scarfing down the food Gabe had brought her. While we watched, Everiss place a clean set of clothing in a pile by her feet.

“Not for a second,” I muttered.

He studied me for a moment, silent, and I could tell he was thinking something that he didn’t want to say.

“What is it?”

He sighed. “Are you quite certain that you don’t have any...emotional reasons for feeling dislike for her?”

“What?”

“Gabe has been very attentive to her.”

Did he mean jealousy? I scowled. “Absolutely not. She stole the PLD and gave it to the enemy. I think that’s reason enough for me to be hesitant about admitting her into our confidence.”

He nodded and dropped the subject.

“I found the device you use to contact the Trio,” I said after another moment.

Adam raised his head, listening.

“I found it by accident. The ground collapsed beneath me as I walked through a clearing.”

“Those tunnels are unstable now,” he said.

“The Watchers...have you always known the place where they rest?”

His eyes clouded over with a memory. “I found it years ago. They guard that device, you know. Their presence ensures that no one will stumble across it. I had the serum in my blood, so they never attacked me. I didn’t count on a Weaver finding it.” He gave me a tired smile, and I returned it.

“And what did the Trio say about the liberation of the Frost?” he asked.

“They said to do whatever we could. But currently all plans of liberation are on hold. Raine made a new rule that says anyone going in or out of Iceliss needs a signed pass.”

“But you say Korr can arrange this now?”

“Yes.”

“We need to contact the Blackcoats and tell them we’re ready when they are.” He tapped the map that was spread before us. “We’ll need to find a clearing we can use to gather wagons in order to portray ourselves convincingly as a traveling caravan, as that is the plan. Do you know the pattern of the soldiers’ rotation when they patrol the Frost?”

“We never finished mapping it,” I admitted.

“Finish, then,” he said. “And we can compensate accordingly. Korr will get us the proper passes, and Jullia Dyer will find us the rest of the costumes we need.”

“And the wagons?” I asked. “Where on earth are we supposed to find wagons?”

“Leave that to me,” he said. “You figure out those patrol patterns.”

~

Cold wind whipped the tendrils of hair that had escaped my braid. I brushed them back and shuffled forward in a crouch, my eyes fixed on the figures moving through the trees a dozen yards away.

A Farther patrol.

Beside me, Everiss chafed her hands together to warm them.

“They’re heading toward the river,” I said softly, and she made a note of it on our makeshift map with a nub of charcoal.

The figures disappeared from sight, and I motioned for her to follow me as I rose and slipped after them.

I would have asked Adam or Gabe to accompany me, but Adam was busy with Thorns business and Gabe was helping Claire adjust to being among the other fugitives again. Everiss had begged to come, and I wondered if she had something specific that she wanted to say to me. She’d been stumbling over her words all day.

“Lia...” Everiss began.

“Shhh.”

“Lia,” she said, quieter now. “There is something I—”

I held up my hand for silence and listened for Farther voices. I heard nothing but the distant scream of bluewings and the drip of melting ice falling from the trees. I looked at Everiss.

She bit her lip. Her gaze shifted from me to the trees.

I blew a strand of hair from my eyes. “What is it, Everiss?”

“I...it’s about Jonn.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to hear about how she didn’t love him
that
way. “We’ve had this discussion.”

“No,” she said. “We haven’t. The fact is...well, my feelings have changed. I—I love him.”

I paused. “What?”

“I love him,” she repeated, firmer this time. Almost as if she’d really heard it for the first time herself.

Silence fell between us as I grappled with my astonishment.

Everiss turned pink. “But I don’t know if he—I mean, I don’t know if you—oh, I don’t know. Do you think he would ever feel the same?” she asked, twisting the map in her hands. “I know he thinks he’s inadequate because of his leg, but I don’t care about that. I don’t care one tiny bit, not anymore.”

I let out a shaky laugh. “Then I suppose you ought to tell him that.”

“Yes, but...will you support it?”

I took in her anxious expression and realized she was asking my permission, of sorts.

“He loves you,” I said. “That’s really all the answer you need.”

“But will you accept me as a sister?”

Our past flashed through my memory—her betrayal, her subsequent loyalty, all the disagreements and frustrations between us. Could I? I saw in my mind’s eye the way Jonn looked at her, the way they laughed together. I saw her now, flushed and anxious as she awaited my response.

“Yes,” I said, and the words were surprisingly warm as they left my mouth. “Of course.”

She blinked, exhaled. “Thank you. That means so much to me.”

“Let’s keep moving,” I said. But as we headed after the patrol, I felt lighter. Beside me, Everiss beamed.

We tracked the patrol to the river, where they turned to head toward the village. Everiss made note of it on our map. I checked the sky.

“It’s almost sundown. We should head back.”

We retraced our steps in silence, but it was a gentle kind of silence that wrapped me like a blanket. I looked at Everiss from time to time, and there was a light in her eyes that looked like hope. Something bubbled in my chest—happiness?

Darkness was gathering by the time we’d almost reached the ruins. We stopped to catch our breath, and Everiss turned to me.

“I know we haven’t always been friends,” she said. “But I’d like to be now.”

“I’d like that too.”

A snarl split the air, and we both whirled.

Watchers.

“Get behind me.”

She hesitated, staring at the trees as if in shock.

“Everiss. Get behind me.” I yanked the knife from my belt and pressed the tip to my finger as I scanned the trees. Where was it? Did she have time to try to run?

The ground shook as the monster emerged from the trees, teeth gleaming, red eyes glowing. It was massive, with powerful haunches and gaping jaws that expelled steaming breath in our direction. I carved a line down my finger and watched as the blood dripped into my palm. The Watcher shuddered and drew back. Its eyes shifted from me to Everiss.

I realized with a shock that she wasn’t wearing any snow blossoms.

“Where are your snow blossoms?” I shouted.

“I—I must have dropped them in the forest.” She fumbled at her chest and neck. “Lia—”

The Watcher growled. I threw up my hand to stop him, but it was as if I were invisible. The monster leaped over me, knocking Everiss into the snow. She screamed, but the sound stopped abruptly as the Watcher caught her in its jaws.

It happened so quickly. She fell into the snow, limp as a doll, her face slack and her eyes open and unseeing. The Watcher vanished into the forest, leaving churned snow in its wake. I ran to Everiss and knelt beside her body.

“Wake up,” I gasped. “Wake up!”

But she was already turning cold.

~

We buried her in the greenhouse, in the far corner beneath a fruit tree. Jonn spoke to no one. When we returned to the cellar, he hobbled to his table and sat alone, staring at nothing.

“Jonn,” I said. I touched his arm to get his attention, and he raised empty eyes to mine. He didn’t speak.

“Jonn,” I repeated. “Before she...” I didn’t say
died
. “In the forest, she told me she loved you. She said she didn’t care about your leg. She loved
you
.”

His throat convulsed as he swallowed. He turned his head and didn’t respond.

Grief hung heavy over me, coating my thoughts, pulling at my limbs, muttering in my mind. My eyes burned and my throat ached with the tears I couldn’t shed. I was tired of the deaths of my companions, and I was tired of dying by inches every day, beset by cold and starvation and the slow anxious silence of uncertainty and fear. Resolve hardened in me. We would take back what was ours. We would drive out the soldiers and reclaim the village. I would contact the Blackcoats. I would demand that the plan resume immediately.