Blue Sky Days (6 page)

He checked his watch then leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table. “As a matter of fact, I do.” The way he looked at me, his gaze unwavering and his lips curving into a small smile that made him look boyish, I felt like I could tell Nicholas anything and he would understand without judging me or thinking less of me.

I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts.
Where should I even begin
? “Well,” I said, drawing out the word to give myself time to think. “I guess it all started with my mother. I don’t want to blame everything on her or use her as an excuse, but I think my life would have been very different if she’d been a different type of person.” I paused, and Nicholas cocked his head to the side, his brows raised in question.

“My mother is very demanding and critical,” I continued. “She has impossible standards that no one, including me—or
especially
me—could possibly live up to. Call me a masochist, but I guess I thought that eventually she’d show some pride in my accomplishments. I worked hard, excelled in school, planned out every moment of my life, and no matter how well I did, it was never good enough for her. I waited my whole life for praise that never came.” I paused again, my eyes meeting Nicholas’s. He was watching me intently, but he didn’t speak, as if he knew there was more and wanted me to finish.

“When I finally realized that nothing I ever did would make her happy and that I’d been living my whole life with that goal in mind, I just felt…lost. I was proud of myself but at the same time I felt beaten down because I wanted
her
to be proud of me, or at the very least to acknowledge my accomplishments. I feel like I wasted so much time trying to make her happy but never making myself happy.”

I shook my head, lost in thoughts of the past. “I’ve spent my entire life living without really
living
. I have nothing to show for all my hard work, and no identity beyond the girl who studied hard, had no friends, and lived to please her mother. I came here hoping to change that. Hoping to change myself. I don’t want to be that person anymore—the girl with no identity.” When I finished speaking, I let out a long breath. I felt inexplicably tired and exposed.

Nicholas leaned forward in his seat, his eyes intense as they searched mine. “Who do you want to be, Emma Ward?” he asked quietly, speaking for the first time since I began telling him about my life.

I laughed under my breath and shook my head again. Such a simple question, but there was no easy answer for it. And besides, I didn’t really know anyway. All I
did
know was I’d spent so long doing things to please my mother that it was time to figure out what made
me
happy, and what
I
wanted.

“I haven’t quite figured that out yet,” I said after a minute. “But I’m not going to plan for it like I’ve planned for everything else my entire life. I’m just going to let it happen naturally, in its own time. Which is really strange to hear coming from my own mouth, because it’s the opposite of how I’ve always done things.”

Nicholas nodded his head and took a sip of his root beer. “I think that’s a good idea. Things like that can’t be rushed.” He paused and rubbed his chin slowly. “I’d like to help you along the way…if you’d let me. I think we could learn a lot from each other.”

I met his eyes; his expression was almost shy, uncertain. It was a change from the quietly confident, self-assured Nicholas I’d seen all night. I couldn’t imagine what he might learn from me, but I was certain I would learn a lot from him. “I’d like that.”

“Great.” His face broke into a relieved grin that had my own lips twitching in return. He looked at his watch again and said, “I should probably get you home so Daisy doesn’t start worrying.” He met my eyes again and said in a rush, “Not that I want to leave. It’s just that I stole you away from Daisy before she’d really had a chance to spend much time with you and now I don’t want to add to that by keeping you out late and worrying her.”

That boyish smile had returned to his face, and I suddenly wondered what he and Daisy had talked about at the house while they waited for me to come downstairs.

“It’s all right, we’ll have lots of time to spend together,” I said casually, faking a confidence I certainly didn’t feel. His words earlier implied he wanted to spend more time with me, but I wanted to be sure he meant it.

“Lots of time,” he echoed, his smile softening. He took my hand and brushed his thumb over my knuckles. His touch lingered for a moment, just long enough to send my heart kicking into high gear again at the strangely intimate contact.

When he released my hand, he finished his root beer before digging in his pocket for a few loose coins that he put on the table. “They hate it when I leave them a tip, so it’s like a law of friendship that I
have
to do it.” When I laughed, he echoed it, seeming pleased. “They’re saving for a trip to New York City this fall, so I figure this is my way of helping them out. All their tip money goes into travel savings.”

He slid from the booth and waved to get Maggie and Vince’s attention. I stood slowly, the feeling from earlier today returning—Nicholas really was too good to be true. He
had
to be. Guys like this didn’t really exist, did they? But here he was, standing in front of me, enveloping his friends in a big hug before turning to me and taking my hand. His hand
felt
solid and real—warm and strong, with slightly rough, calloused fingers. Maybe I should live by my own words and learn to just go with things. After all, he had Daisy’s stamp of approval, what more could I ask for?

“I’m sorry we didn’t get more time to talk tonight, but we’ll hang out soon, okay?” Maggie said, giving me a hug, which I returned with my one free arm since Nicholas held tightly to my other hand.

“I’ll look forward to it,” I said, holding on for a second longer, enjoying Maggie’s embrace. I’d never been much of a hugger because there was no one to hug other than my dad on the rare occasion. But I was learning that I liked the affection and closeness—Daisy’s hugs that felt like she’d never let go; Nicholas’s hand in mine or his arm around me; sweet, pretty Maggie, who hugged me like I was her best friend in the whole world, even though we’d just met.

We said our goodbyes and left the diner, stepping out into the fresh night air. Even though we’d only been in the diner for a little less than two hours, the temperature had dropped several degrees. It was a clear night though, and the wide-open sky was alight with a million twinkling stars, something I didn’t get to see in the city.

As we pulled up in front of Daisy’s house a few minutes later, I found myself wishing the drive had been longer. We hadn’t really spoken much on the way, but the silence hadn’t been uncomfortable. I just enjoyed being with Nicholas; he made me feel relaxed in a way I had previously only experienced with Daisy.

After he put the truck in park, Nicholas flashed me a grin and told me to stay put as he hopped out and made his way around to my side. “You don’t have to walk me to the door, you know,” I said as he took my hand to help me slide from the truck.

“Sure I do,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Giving my hand a playful tug, we walked slowly up the porch steps. When we got to the door, Nicholas turned to me and took my other hand so we were facing each other. Even though he’d held my hand frequently throughout the night, the feel of my hands in his sent electric shocks radiating up my arms.

“Emma, I really like you,” he said, those beautiful eyes of his never leaving mine. “All I want to do right now is kiss you…”

I gulped silently, afraid that if I opened my mouth the uncontrollable butterflies in my stomach would flutter right out through my lips. Finally I whispered, “What’s stopping you?”

The corners of his mouth twitched upward, his dimples winking at me. “Well, I’m hoping that you feel the same way about me,” he said, squeezing my hands, “and if you do, I don’t want to rush this. I know that you’re here for reasons that are really important to you, and I don’t want to get in the way of that by pressuring you or making you feel uncomfortable. I want us to get to know each other before we take things further, if we even do at all.”

His thumbs traced lazy circles on the backs of my hands as he spoke, and the butterflies calmed slightly. I had never felt such a strong desire to know somebody. I’d spent so long ignoring most of the people around me, never really getting to know anyone—myself included—but now I wanted to know Nicholas better than anyone knew him, and there was no doubt in my mind that he would end up knowing me better than anyone else ever had or ever could.

After a minute, when I still hadn’t said anything, he released one of my hands to touch my face. “Do something with me tomorrow. Anything.” He said it so passionately and with such anticipation in his eyes that I felt my knees buckle.

“Okay,” was all I could say. Somewhere in a distant part of my mind I thought,
I guess this really was a date. Or maybe a pre-cursor to a date
?

“Great! I’ll pick you up at noon and we can go from there—spend the whole day together or just a few hours, whatever you want.” He brought the hand he still held to his lips and kissed it lightly, an almost giddy smile overtaking his whole face and lighting it up like the stars lit the sky.

I knew in that one glorious instant that Nicholas was going to make my life very interesting. I felt as if a fragment of the old me broke away that night and disappeared, and I was really beginning my new life.

CHAPTER 4

The next day as I waited for Nicholas to pick me up, I was just as nervous as I had been the day before. I distracted myself with thoughts of the conversation Daisy and I had when I’d arrived home. She’d been waiting for me, and had ushered me to the couch before bringing me a cup of steaming hot chocolate. We talked for hours, and I told her I could see having a really special relationship with Nicholas, either as friends or something more.

“You’re hoping for something more, aren’t you?” Daisy asked, inching closer to me on the couch, her eyes dancing. When I ducked my head and grinned, she poked at me, her fingers finding my ticklish spots and coaxing a giggle from me.

“Okay, yes!” I admitted, swatting her hands away. “But I’m so completely new to this that I’m just happy to have him as a friend…for now.”

“For now,” she repeated, wiggling her eyebrows. She turned serious then, asking me what sort of things Nicholas and I had talked about, and telling me what a great guy Nicholas was.

Now I stood on the front porch, shading my eyes from the dazzlingly bright sun and thinking there was something about Daisy and Nicholas that made me open up in a way I wasn’t used to, but that was actually refreshing.

When I saw Nicholas’s shiny black truck turn into Daisy’s driveway, my breath caught in my throat and a grin tugged at the corners of my mouth. Most of my nervousness melted away as I walked slowly down the front steps, watching Nicholas as he got out. His dark blond hair reflected the golden light of the sun and his tanned face returned the wide smile I now wore.

All I could think was how gorgeous he looked in his short-sleeved blue button-up shirt with the collar left undone to reveal smooth skin, and the bottom untucked over his jeans. The hat he’d worn the day before was gone now, and the sight of his beautiful, thick hair had my fingers itching to touch it.

I came out of my reverie when Nicholas approached me and bowed gallantly, saying, “Good afternoon, Miss Ward. Isn’t this a lovely day?”

I laughed loudly, then clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle the ensuing giggles. “I’m sorry, nobody’s ever bowed to me before!”

He chuckled quietly, his eyes dancing with mirth.
 
“Nobody’s ever shown enough respect to bow in the presence of such beauty?” he said in a mock shocked tone, clucking his tongue. “A shame.” He took my hand and kissed it, something that surprised me as much as it had the night before, but that I hoped became a habit.

“I thought we could have a picnic in the park,” Nicholas said, sauntering over to the truck and opening the passenger side door to pull out a large woven picnic basket. When I speechlessly nodded my agreement, he closed the door and said, “Great. We can just walk, it’s not far.” He shifted the picnic basket to his left hand and linked his free arm through mine.

I stared at him in amazement as we began to walk. I had never met a man like Nicholas. In fact, I had never even
heard
of a man like Nicholas existing outside the 19th century or earlier. He was like a character out of an old romance novel—charming, handsome, chivalrous, and kind. As I watched him, he turned to wink at me, and I was so glad that he was a real person of flesh and blood, and not just a character born of someone’s vivid imagination.

It wasn’t long before I recognized where Nicholas was leading me, and I was touched at the sweet gesture of returning to the spot where we met. We settled ourselves on a blanket on the hilltop facing the busy park. “Best spot in the whole place,” he said smiling at me.

I grinned as I watched Nicholas unpack the picnic basket. With a little flourish, he produced a variety of sandwiches, a bag of grapes, a pair of shiny red apples, a large metal thermos, and a container with chocolate chip cookies.

“Very impressive,” I said, accepting a plastic cup of iced tea that he poured from the thermos. “You thought of everything.”

His mouth curved into a pleased smile and he tapped his cup against mine. “I wasn’t sure what kind of sandwiches you liked, so I made everything I had on hand. I hope you like at least one of them.” He took the lid off the container and held it out to me.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” I said, laughing in disbelief. I peered in at the sandwiches—tuna, egg salad, and what looked like ham and cheese, all made with lovely multi-grain and seed bread—and picked one of the egg. “These are the most beautiful sandwiches I’ve ever seen,” I told him as he handed me a plate and napkin.