Blue Persuasion (24 page)

“You’ve never met Doug aka Dawg. He comes and goes.”

“Have you—”

“Yeah, once. He’s the king of the one-night stands, and I didn’t want any more than that. It was really an angry fuck and it served its purpose.”

“Angry at Bond?”

“Yeah.”

“Recently?” he said, making a right turn off the highway.

“No, a few years ago.”

“Your group is rather incestuous.”

“Just some of us.” I nodded. “I think I’m the worst of the group.” I laughed.

“It’s good to see you smile.”

“Thanks for not letting me crawl into a ball in the middle of my bed.”

“You’re welcome. Do you have pen and paper in your backpack?”

I reached behind my seat and grabbed a Post-It pad and pen.

He smiled. “Those sure come in handy.”

“I’m rather fond of the new one in the middle of my mirror. So...”

“Shopping list for food and drinks for us and your friends.”

“Okay.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

Where Is The Heart

by Alex Clare

T
ate left me alone in his house, and part of me wanted to rifle through his drawers to learn more about him, but I refrained. Instead, I sat on the deck and appreciated the view, taking in the cloudless blue sky. On reflection, I was grateful that my friends would be coming. Letting Tate take care of me had its own pitfalls. Maybe he realized the same thing and therefore, invited the gang over.

I thought I heard a knock, so I went back inside the house. I pulled the curtain on the side window and saw Bond standing there. Unlocking the door, I let him in.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, sweeping me up in his embrace. “Did you know it was so close? You never mentioned it.”

“I didn’t. Helena didn’t tell me. I mean I knew she wasn’t well, but she pulled through it last time.”

“They say the second time battling cancer is worse.” He looked around the house and said, “Nice digs.” Stepping in farther, he took in the view. “Sweet place.”

“Let’s sit outside.” I took my seat on the deck. “I need to text Tate.”

Me:
Bond is here.

My stomach tightened waiting for Tate’s reply. “So did anything happen after I left last night?”

Bond sat next to me. “Blue, I’m here for you, we don’t need to talk about me.”

“I’m certain that Tate invited you all to distract me. So distract me.”

“I thought that was off-limits,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

My phone vibrated.

Tate:
I told Stayman five o’clock.

Me:
Maybe it got lost in translation.

Tate:
I’m not happy.

Me:
Do you trust me?

Tate:
That’s not the point.

“You’re scowling,” Bond said. “Who’s that?”

I looked up. “Tate.”

“About me?”

“Yes. He says you were invited to come at five.”

“Yeah, Stay said that, but I have to work tonight. I asked if I could come, and you said yes.”

“You’re right, I did.”

Me:
He has to work later. He asked to come by, and I said yes. We’re out on the deck talking. Should I ask him to leave?

Tate:
No.

Me:
Stop frowning. I can feel it through the phone. I already told you we aren’t having sex anymore. That I won’t kiss him again. Please be safe and don’t rush back.

Tate:
Grrr.

Me:
Are you at the store?

Tate:
Yes.

Me:
Do you want to call me so you can talk to him?

Tate:
No. Do me a favor.

Me:
Okay.

Tate:
Go in the bedroom and take a sexy picture for me. Text it to me.

Me:
Okay.

My clit twitched over the suggestion and I hopped up. “I’m going to change out of my work clothes. I’ll be right back.”

“Are we good?” Bond asked.

“Yeah.”

Once in Tate’s bedroom, I stripped off the black pants and long-sleeved gray shirt. I rummaged through my bag and grabbed the vibrator. I wouldn’t send a pic of my pussy or boobs but I did want to send something provocative. His suggestion set my pulse racing, and I so appreciated being able to focus on the task. Also, I wanted to make him feel more secure but with a bit of added torture. I laughed at myself.

In my blue lace matching panties and bra, I climbed on the bed and spread my legs. Pulling my panties to the side, I rested my purple vibrator against my clit. It sufficiently covered my pussy. With my camera in hand, I tried to angle it so he could see most of my body. It wasn’t easy to accomplish. After taking nine shots, I finally got a decent one. I sent it off to Tate and hurriedly dressed in jean shorts and a purple T-shirt.

A knock on the bedroom door startled me. “Are you okay in there?” Bond asked.

“Yeah, fine, just another minute.” I rejoined him on the back deck. “So what happened last night?”

“Rory saw us leave the club together. She wasn’t happy.” Bond leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs.

“When do you plan to talk to Jacqs?”

“I’m not sure yet. I’m still on the fence about what to do. Blue, I’m sorry for hurting you last night. If we could go back, I’d want to be open about us from the beginning. I thought it’s what we both wanted.”

My phone vibrated, but I ignored it. “It was, Bond. I guess I just didn’t realize how much it was hurting me. I so appreciate your willingness to tell them. Now, it’s a moot point.”

“Yeah,” he said, touching my thigh. “I miss you already.”

“Me too.” I climbed into his lap and we hugged each other. Tears spilled out as the loss of Helena seemed to compound my loss of Bond. Although the situation was never ideal, I felt safe with him. Tate, on the other hand, left my heart in peril. My thoughts were interrupted when I glanced up to see Tate standing over us. I scurried off Bond’s lap and went to him.

“Beer?” Tate asked Bond.

“Sure, thanks. Great place you have.”

I followed Tate to the kitchen. “Did you like the picture?”

“Yes, much better than the one I caught coming in.” In a completely different tone, he said, “You packed a vibrator.”

I knew he must be hard and looked down to see. With my fingers, I traced the impression. Then my eyes locked with his. “For us. I’ll give you a hint. Sex is the perfect distraction.”

“Had I known, I’d never have invited—”

I didn’t let him finish. I touched his cheek and brought his mouth to mine.

He lifted me up on the bit of counter not covered with grocery bags and riveted my mouth to his.

After a steamy, sultry kiss, I said, “I will never cheat on you, Tate. Not ever.”

He searched my face. “I believe you.”

I forced out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in.
Thank you!
Breaking eye contact, I scanned the kitchen. “That’s a lot of stuff.”

“I figured your friends will be eating dinner here.”

I hopped off the counter and started unpacking the groceries.

Tate fished out two Dos Equis and opened them. “I’m going to have a beer with Bond.”

“Is that a good idea?” My breath caught in my throat.

Staring at my expression, he said, “Trust doesn’t come easily for me. It probably never will again. There are a few things I need to say to Bond, and I promise to hear him out.”

“Okay. Let me know when it’s safe to come out.”

He kissed me hard and fast and then walked away.

Helena, if you’re around, please watch over those two.
Part of me wished I could hear what they were saying. The rest of me figured it might hurt to know. I unpacked the groceries and threw away some of the take-out boxes to make room in the refrigerator. I left out the spinach dip mix, spinach, sour cream, mayo, scallions, watercress, and the veggies I assumed were for the dip.

As I mixed the ingredients together, I heard a loud laugh and some of the tension in my shoulders relaxed. Checking the time on the stove, there was still an hour until the others would start to arrive. I covered the dip and put it in the fridge and then started cutting up the vegetables.

“Blue!” Tate called.

With dishtowel in hand, I hung my head out the back sliding door. “Yeah?”

“Bond and I have an idea we’d like to pass by you.”

My stomach dropped and I frowned.
This cannot be good.
“Oh?” I asked, stepping out onto the deck.

“Tate thought a threesome might—”

My heart stopped beating, and I wanted to perish on the spot and join Helena on the other side.

“Wait Blue, I...” Bond started to stand up.

I looked from Tate to Bond. “Nice job to both of you for making me feel like a piece of ass.” I dropped the towel and ran down the stairs to the beach. My legs propelled me forward, my heart left on the deck by their feet. I ran south, wondering how long it would take me to make it back to my place.
No keys.
I stopped, leaned over, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I had my phone but who to call?

Only Stay knew Bond and I had been fucking, and putting him in the position of keeping more from Lainie wasn’t fair.

I cried, completely convinced I would never be more than a piece of ass to anyone. I, Judy, Jude, Blue, didn’t count for shit. Just my stupid fucking boobs and ass did. My best friend and my lover wanted to bond by using me. They could all go to hell. I needed to leave. I planned to call a cab as soon as I could summon the courage to head back.

Tate came upon me as I cried, sitting in the sand. “I thought you would—”

“Would what?” I used my hand to shield my eyes from the sun as I squinted up at the man I thought I loved. “You aren’t who I thought you were. I’m going home. Tell Bond to call the group.” I struggled to stand up in the sand and Tate made to steady me. “Don’t!” I cried.

“Blue, please listen to me. It was stupid. Bond even said so but I pushed, saying it would fix things.”

“Why?”

“I ... I got...”

“What?” I yelled, wrapping my arms around myself.

The wind blew his hair into his face, and he brushed it out of his eyes. “I got scared, jealous. You clearly love Bond, and I can see he loves you too.”

“So making me feel like one of your one-night stands makes you feel better?”

“No.” He glanced down at the surf. When he looked back up at me, I saw tears in his eyes. “I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“Well, you have, and we’re done. You told me a while ago that I deserve more and you’re right. I deserve a lot more. I have a lot to give, but I have to stop giving myself away to the wrong men. You’ve hurt me so deeply. I can’t believe I was so wrong about a person. I know something horrible happened to you and for that I made allowances, but no longer.”

“Blue, please. Just hear me out and then leave if you want to.”

I shielded my face and looked at him again. The anguish on his face, tears in his eyes, tugged at my resolve before he had spoken one word.

“I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’ve been lied to by the people I trusted the most, over and over again, for years. It’s hard for me to believe anything anyone says. You’ve been honest and open about everything, including your relationship with Bond.” He dropped his shoulders and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“This is the very reason I’ll never fully share my life with another. It’s not because I don’t trust you. I no longer trust myself. When your intuition fails you repeatedly, you realize that you have zero self-protection in life. I’ve consciously built up my walls and have no intention of lowering them. I know that makes me far less appealing, but I also believe we can be good for each other.” He held his palms out to me.

“I never thought I would laugh again or enjoy the touch of a woman. You’ve given that back to me.”

“I’m so glad to be of service,” I said sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s you, Blue. You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. I wish I had met you before... Please give me the chance to make it up to you.”

Just then, a black and gold butterfly fluttered between us and I watched it float away on the wind.
Helena?
Then I recalled her words.
He’s in love with you honey, but that’s part of the problem. It’s scaring the shit out of him.
She said I should risk loving him. “I don’t know.” I shook my head.

“Please just think about it. Your friends will be here soon. Give me another chance.”

I didn’t know if I could, but I also didn’t want to be alone. “I’ll think about it. I might have one of my friends drive me home tonight.”

“I understand. Bond’s waiting to talk to you. He said he needs to take off to get ready for work.”

We walked back to Tate’s house, me in front of him. I ascended the stairs and found Bond.

“I’ll go inside,” Tate said as he passed us.

“Well,” I said to Bond, crossing my arms in front of me.

“I told him it was a stupid idea. That we’d already decided to shift our relationship back to friendship. He seemed convinced that you would want it. I stupidly thought I was helping.”

“Men can be so fucking dumb.”

“Yeah, we can. And often,” he said with a chuckle. “I want you to know that I told Tate that I’d always love you. That I will always have your back. That I will beat the shit out of him if he ever hurts you.”

“Too late for that.”

Bond tilted his head. “He’s running scared. I think there’s a decent guy in there somewhere. Some of us are a real work in progress.”