Authors: Isobel Bird
forgotten that it was only her first time.
“I’ve never met anyone who was into this kind of music,” Brian said. “I was really surprised when you
came into the store, and now you’ve surprised me again.”
“I’m just
full
of surprises,” Annie remarked.
“You sure are,” said Brian. “And I’m really glad I met you.”
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Annie looked at him sitting across from her. She was having a great time with Brian. She’d sometimes
wondered what dating would be like, and she’d always thought that she would be scared and nervous
around a guy. But she wasn’t nervous around Brian at all. He made her feel good. She didn’t worry
about what to say or what to do. For some reason it all came naturally to her.
“I’m glad I met you, too,” she said. She still couldn’t quite believe everything that was happening. She
felt a little like Cinderella, waiting for midnight to come and to find herself the same old Annie. A week
before she would never have imagined herself swing dancing with a cool guy. Now she was actually
doing it.
“Shall we get back out there?” Brian asked her as the band began another number.
Annie got up and Brian led her to the dance floor, holding her hand all the way. Then they began dancing
and she felt herself being spun around, the whole time remaining safely in Brian’s sure grip. They danced
around one another, the music filling Annie up and urging her to move. It was as if some other part of her
had been awakened, and she gave in to it. She lost herself in the joy of moving to the sound, of being
swept up in the raw excitement of the band and the crowd.
When the number was over Brian hugged her tightly and spun her around. She laughed, closing her eyes
as the room turned beneath the bright lights. She’d never felt so carefree. When Brian put her down she
opened her eyes. He was looking into hers, and all of a sudden she couldn’t move. She just watched as
his face came closer to hers and his lips parted.
When he kissed her she stopped breathing. It was so unexpected that she didn’t even have time to
worry about all of the things she’d always thought she’d worry about during her first kiss. She felt Brian’s
mouth against hers and his arms around her. But everything else was lost as a feeling of warmth and joy
spread throughout her whole body.
She tried to remember everything. This was her first kiss. Not just her first kiss with Brian, but her first
kiss
ever
. She wanted to be able to replay it over and over again. But just as she thought she was finding
the words to describe it, it was over. Brian pulled away and looked at her again.
“Wow,” he said simply.
“Wow?” Annie asked, not sure what he meant.
“Yeah,” Brian said, grinning. “Wow.”
He leaned forward and kissed her again. This time, as she kissed him back, Annie was determined to
remember everything.
CHAPTER 11
Cooper looked out from behind the black curtain that covered the back of the stage. The tables were
filling up quickly, and already Big Mouth was crowded with faces. Sam had done a great job of getting
the word out, and they were expecting a full house. Everywhere she looked Cooper saw people talking
and looking at their programs.
But she didn’t see T.J. She scanned the room, hoping to see his face, but so far he wasn’t there. Even
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though they hadn’t spoken since she’d hung up on him she’d hoped that maybe he would change his
mind and come see her perform.
He knows this is a big deal,
she thought as she continued to look for
him.
I can’t believe he isn’t here.
She couldn’t worry about T.J., though. She needed to focus on her work. She had written three new
pieces for the night’s performance, and she had been practicing them repeatedly, determined to make
them perfect. This was going to be
her
night. Even though there were several other performers on the bill,
she wanted people to go away remembering just one name—Cooper Rivers.
A flurry of movement caught her eye, and she noticed that someone was waving at her. It was Annie.
She was walking through the crowd toward a table near the front of the stage, and she had someone with
her.
That must be Brian,
Cooper thought. She hadn’t met Annie’s new boyfriend yet. Now she studied
him carefully. He was cute, she thought. He had a nice face, and he smiled a lot.
Annie got herself a good one,
she mused. And Annie herself looked great. She was dressed in a
sleeveless red dress, and her hair fell around her shoulders in long waves. Cooper still couldn’t believe
the change in her friend. Every time she saw her, Annie seemed to be more confident, more outgoing,
and more flirtatious. It was a little weird, but she was glad to see Annie finally coming out of her shell.
She was happy to see Annie, but she was still annoyed at T.J. And she was also disappointed that Kate
and Tyler wouldn’t be there. Kate still hadn’t really explained to her what had happened between her
and Tyler, but she said they were cooling things off for a little while. Although Kate said that it was
nothing serious, Cooper had detected a note of concern in her friend’s voice that made her wonder if
Kate was telling her the whole truth.
Annie finds a guy and Kate and I lose the ones we’ve got,
she thought to herself.
Now isn’t
that
ironic, Alanis.
“Cooper,” someone behind her said. “We’re starting soon.”
Cooper turned around. “Okay,” she said to the stage manager. “I’m just checking out the crowd. Looks
like a tough one.”
The stage manager laughed at Cooper’s joke. “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” she said. “Just remember, you’re
on last.”
Cooper nodded. She was stoked about being the last one to perform. It was like she was the headliner
and everyone else was just opening for her. At least that’s how she liked to think about it. The truth was
that it was probably alphabetical or totally random.
She went back to the waiting area where the other performers were standing and sitting. Some of them
were silently rehearsing their pieces while others were sitting, eyes closed, as if they were meditating.
Cooper leaned against the wall and began going over her material in her head. She didn’t try to
remember every word, though, because she knew that would just clutter her mind up. It would all come
when it was supposed to.
A few minutes later the stage manager came back to where they were all waiting. “Okay,” she said.
“You’re on. Jackie, you’re up first.”
They all wished Jackie good luck and then settled in to wait their turns. They could hear her as she did
her performance, and they could hear the applause of the crowd. Cooper listened, taking in Jackie’s
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words as she spoke. She was good, but Cooper knew that she was better. She didn’t think that out of
vanity but because she knew it was true. She’d been working hard on her stuff, and she’d gotten it to the
point where she was really sure of it. She couldn’t wait for her turn onstage.
Three other people went before her. Cooper listened to each one, making mental notes about what each
of them did that did or didn’t work. When only one more person was ahead of her, she started walking
around, warming up by getting herself in the right mood.
“Cooper.”
Cooper looked up and saw the stage manager waving her toward the curtain.
“One minute,” the woman said.
Cooper walked over and stood at the entrance to the stage. She was ready. She watched as Sam, the
coordinator, walked up to the microphone.
“All right,” Sam said. “Our next performer is one I’m very excited to introduce. I saw her at Cuppa
Joe’s a week or so ago and was blown away. I think you will be, too. So give a hand for Cooper
Rivers.”
Cooper walked onstage as the audience clapped politely. She was very aware that only a few of them
knew who she was, and it was going to be her job to win them over and prove herself. She had a brief
moment of fear thinking about that, but it was immediately replaced by a surge of excitement as she took
her place at center stage. She was the final performer, the culmination of the evening. The spotlight
surrounded her, and she looked down at her feet, pausing for dramatic effect. After a moment she lifted
her eyes, looked straight into the audience, and began.
“There are two of me,” she began, her voice ringing through the space. “The one I take outside and the
one I let roam free when I’m alone, safe from what you think and what you feel.”
She had written the piece after her fight with T.J. It was about him, but it was also about the people who
were listening to her, the people T.J. worried about. Now Cooper felt as if she were facing them, telling
them how she felt about what they might think of her.
“The me you see when you pass me on the street is the one I dress up to hide her from your fears,” she
continued. “I don’t want you to see her and look away or call her names. I don’t want
her
to have to see
the ugliness that is your misunderstanding. So I keep her covered, tucked inside my coat or sleeping
behind my sunglasses.”
She was reaching the part of the piece she liked the most. She stood up straight and tall, looking
defiantly out at her listeners. “But when we get home I tear off her disguise and the two of us run around
my room,” she said, her voice rising. “We hold hands and we spin and spin and spin, making ourselves
dizzy with laughter while we laugh at you and at what you don’t know. We dance and sing and make
noise like the wildest of all the wild things. And when we’re done we sleep in one another’s arms,
dreaming of the day when we can be one person again.”
She stopped and listened as the audience broke into applause.
I wonder if they really understood it,
she thought as she composed herself to begin her next piece. She had been deliberately vague about
what she was really talking about. She wanted them to wonder for a while, until her third piece really let
them have it.
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But now it was time for the second piece. Once more she paused a moment before continuing.
“I want to tell you a secret,” she said confidently, as if speaking to a trusted friend who was seated in the
last row. “There’s something you don’t know about me. What? Yes, I’m going to tell you.”
She stopped a moment and held her finger to her lips, as if she were thinking about something. “Or
maybe I won’t,” she continued. “Maybe I’ll make you guess. Can you do that?”
Again she waited, as if the person she was speaking to were talking back. Then she nodded her head.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll give you some clues. I’m not like everybody else. I know, that’s not really a good
one. How about this—I can do things most people can’t. What kinds of things? I can talk to ghosts. Did
you know that about me? I didn’t think so. And did you know that I can walk through fire? Yeah, I can.”
She was having a great time. The piece was moving along just as she’d rehearsed it, with all the pauses
coming at exactly the right times. She wondered if anyone in the audience was putting two and two
together, if any of them remembered her as the girl who had spoken with the ghost of a dead girl back in
April.
“I can do all kinds of things!” she cried, lifting her arms up. “I can jump into a volcano and not get
burned. I can make you fall in love with me, although I wouldn’t bother. I can even stop a speeding
bullet. Right, just like Superman. Although I don’t wear a cape. Well, only when I want to look cool.”
“Have you guessed it yet?” she shouted. “Have you figured it out?”
The house was silent as she looked out at them expectantly, as if waiting for an answer. Then she
shrugged her shoulders. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll tell you. I can do all of this because—” She stopped,
knowing they were all waiting to hear the end. Then she laughed. “I can do it all because I’m one . . . of .
. . them,” she finished, saying each of the last three words slowly and deliberately.
This time the applause took some time to get going. She knew people were confused. That’s what she
wanted. She wanted them to wonder what she was trying to tell them. All that would become clear in her
final piece, and she liked knowing that her audience was hoping to find out where she was going with all
of this.
She took a deep breath. This was what it all came down to. This was her last piece, and the last piece of
the evening. She wanted everyone to hear it and to leave the club talking about it.
“When they burned me the last time,” she said, “they tied my hands behind me and lit my skirts on fire.
They watched as the fire ripped away my skin like a child opening a present. I think they were hoping to
see my soul scuttle out and dig its way back to hell and the devil. I think they were hoping to see
something they all secretly dreamed about. But I didn’t give them that. Instead all they saw was my body
turning to smoke.”
She let the image of the burning woman sink in before continuing. “Well, now I’m back, after many years
of sleeping and waiting and growing stronger—strong enough to fight. And this time you won’t burn me.
This time you won’t keep me quiet by cutting out my tongue and asking me to name my sisters and
brothers before you break my neck. This time I will speak out in a voice so loud it fills the skies like
thunder and my words fall like rain.”
She closed her eyes, allowing her voice to become her instrument. She played it like a guitar, making it
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louder and quieter, harder and softer as she spoke.
“I will rise up into the night and fly across the moon like a bird,” she said. “My song will become a
hurricane calling the names of the ones who rescued me from those flames and brought me back again
whole and beautiful: Hecate, Pele, Oya, Diana, Astarte, Demeter, Kali.” Cooper intoned each name of a
goddess in a firm voice, as if she really were calling them to be with her onstage. Then she said, “And far
below me, you will look up and say
my
name: Witch! Witch! Witch!”
She ended the piece with her arms spread wide and her head thrown back. Applause burst forth from
the darkness where the audience sat, and she knew that she had done well. They had understood her
pieces, and they liked them. Once again she wished that T.J. had been there to hear it, to see how she
had successfully used her experiences with witchcraft to come up with something great. But at least Annie
was there. Cooper was glad about that.
She looked down at the table where Annie had been sitting, hoping to see her friend applauding her. But
Annie’s chair was empty. Brian sat there, clapping wildly, but where Annie had been there was only an
empty glass, still half filled with soda.
I hope she didn’t run off again,
Cooper thought, remembering Annie’s behavior the last time Cooper
had performed. But Brian was still there, which meant that Annie had to be around somewhere. She
wouldn’t just leave him there. Cooper hoped she’d heard the last piece. But she would have to wait to
find out. It was time for her to leave the stage. She took a final bow and retreated into the curtains.
“Great job,” the stage manager said as Cooper entered the backstage area.
“Thanks,” Cooper said. She looked back out through the curtains as Sam walked up to the microphone.
She was still riding high on the success of her performance, and she hoped Sam was happy with what
she’d done.
“That young woman is someone to watch, isn’t she?” Sam said. The crowd applauded again, and
Cooper felt her heart swell with pride. She
had
done well.
“I know the program says that Cooper was the last performer,” Sam continued. “But we have one more