Blue Moon (10 page)

Chapter Twelve

Vivianna

He didn’t stop kissing me, but the question was plain on his face. I gasped for air, running my fingertips up the curve of his muscular ass.

His large hands moved up my sides, distracting me. “If you were on the pill anyway…”

“The pill won’t protect me from…”

Without any warning, he lifted me up in his arms before I could finish the thought. A second later he was lying over me on the bed. My legs opened instinctively, my body hungry for something my head wasn’t sure I was ready to give just yet. His hips settled even closer, until the tip of his erection teased me, but no farther.

His piercing blue eyes searched my face. “You seriously think I’d give you some kind of STD?”

“No.” Even when I tried to hate him, I knew Logan. He’d never put me in danger.

“Then why send me hunting for condoms?”

I turned my head, glancing toward the bathroom. Logan caught my chin, bringing my attention back to him. “No.” He kissed my lips. “You made this rule a long time ago, remember? When we’re naked, it’s only us. No looking away.”

I blinked hard. I didn’t want him to see the tears welling in my eyes.

He frowned. “Talk to me.”

“I feel stupid.”

He shook his head slowly. “I don’t understand.”

I swiped at a tear. “I told you to get a condom so I would know if you kept them handy.”

He sighed and got up from the bed.

I sat up. “Logan.”

He walked out without a word. When he came back, he tossed my clothes on the bed. “Get dressed.”

I didn’t move. He pulled his shirt down and picked up his jeans.

Part of me couldn’t believe this was happening again, just like the night before, only this time I was completely naked. “You’re seriously rejecting me again?”

A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. “There is nothing in this world I want more than you, right now, in this bed, for hours, until we’re too exhausted to move.”

“Then why are you getting dressed?”

“Are you shitting me, Anna?” He ran a hand down his face. “You think I’ve been fucking groupies in my bed with an economy sized box of condoms.”

I stood up, embracing the anger bubbling inside me. “What the hell am I supposed to think? You’re a rock star with a body any male model would kill for. Women must’ve been throwing themselves at you ever since you walked out of my life.”

He dropped the jeans on the floor, his nostrils flaring and shoulders tense. “Are you asking me if I slept with other women? The answer is yes. Walking away from you left this gaping hole in my chest, and I tried to fill it. But sex didn’t help. It made the emptiness worse. The wolf inside me…none of them were you. My heart was dead.”

I’d shared a bed with other men. I dated a few guys in college and had a serious relationship with Madison’s older brother afterward. But my heart hadn’t been in it, either.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I closed my eyes with them.”

“Don’t.” He stared at me, and a muscle in his cheek flexed. His voice was deep, raspy, and almost dangerous. He knew exactly what I was talking about. “I don’t want to know.”

“For once, this doesn’t get to be about you, Logan.” I swallowed. “
You
left
me
, remember? You made a choice, and I was left behind with a giant hole to fill, too, and no idea why it was there. Now you’re back, and I want to feel the way we did before, too. I do. I want to give myself to you and lay in your arms with nothing between us.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know how to make you believe me when I tell you I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t. It’s going to take time for me to trust you again.”

“I get that.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” I sighed. “If you did, you wouldn’t be over there getting dressed because I hurt your feelings about the condoms. You’d understand I have every reason to question everything, because I never got to ask anything the last time our relationship imploded.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, bent over with his forearms resting on his thighs. “Things are never going to be the way they were, are they?”

“No, they won’t.” I settled beside him, our bare legs touching, sending a warm spark through my body. “We’re not the same people anymore. But if you can be patient, we could be even stronger.” I leaned in closer, my breath teasing his ear. “Take off your shirt and stay a while.”

He turned his head and claimed my lips, slowly. I savored every second, and for the first time since he’d walked back into my life a few days ago, my heart engaged. This was
my
Logan.

He broke the kiss, eyes locked on mine as he tugged his T-shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. Looping an arm around my waist, he crawled farther up on the bed, taking me with him. Our gazes never faltered as he drove his hips forward and finally united our bodies. I tightened my hold on him, shivering at the forgotten pleasure. For a moment, he didn’t move.

I kissed him, staring up at his face, trying to read the emotions playing there. Finally he whispered against my lips. “I love you, Anna.”

Moaning into the kiss, I ran one hand down his smooth, muscular back, and the other moved into hair. My body, and probably my heart, were ready to speak those words, but my head, not so much.

He thrusted slowly at first, making me ache for more and at the same time yearn for it to last forever. His lips caressed my chin and trailed down my neck until his teeth teased my shoulder. I brought my legs up along the outside of his, wanting him even closer.

Against his ear I gasped, “God, I missed you.”

He lifted his head, hungry eyes on mine. “I want to make this last, but…”

“But it’s so…good.” I answered, loving the way he stared down at me like I was the only thing on earth that mattered to him.

The corner of his mouth curved up. “How did I live without you?”

I caught his lower lip between my teeth, my fingernails digging into his back as tremors shot through me. “Don’t stop.”

“No chance,” he growled as his lips crushed mine.

Our tongues tangled as our hips slammed together. I ached for release. His hand moved between us, his fingertip sliding down and finding just the right spot. He broke the kiss, his voice deep and throaty. “Let go, Anna.”

I cried out his name, rocking into his touch until every muscle in my body contracted. His thrusts came faster, and he peaked with me. His elbows rested on either side of my head, and our gazes never strayed as the aftershocks rocked through us.

Bringing an exhausted hand up to cup his cheek, a single tear leaked out the corner of my eye.

He frowned. “Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head, warm all over. “No.”

He bent to kiss away the tear. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy, and maybe a little scared…”

A wrinkle formed between his eyebrows. “Why are you scared?”

“Because…” I could barely get the words out. No man would’ve been able to hear them, but my guy was a werewolf, and he had no trouble. “Because you feel like
my
Logan again.”

His eyes shone with tears he didn’t let fall. “Anna, I was a stupid, angry, terrified kid, but even after I walked away, I have
always
been yours. Always.”

A sob escaped my throat, and I pulled him down to kiss me, laughing and crying, and happier than I’d been in years.

…

I woke to find Logan across the room getting dressed. “Going somewhere?”

He glanced my way and came to sit beside me. “I don’t want to overwhelm you with werewolf stuff when I’m not sure you even really believe just yet.”

I frowned and looked over at the window. “It’s still light out. You’re not going to get furry right now, are you?”

“No. I can’t shift on command like that. The full moon pulls the wolf forward. I don’t get much say in it.” He chuckled, but his body was still tense. “My Pack is going to be busy tonight, and I got so caught up in you, I lost track of time.”

I sat up, stretching my arms out. “We said no more secrets.”

“I’m not keeping a secret, I just don’t want to dump too much on you at one time.” He got up and went to his closet. He came out wearing a shoulder holster and carrying a hand gun.

My back tensed up. “What’s going on, Logan?”

He jammed the handgun in the holster and met my eyes. “Tonight is the new moon
,
and jaguar shifters will be big, dangerous cats once it’s dark. Two jaguars are from our Pack, but one has threatened to hurt us. Luke and I are heading to Lake Tahoe to cover the edge of the woods. Some of the others will be searching around Reno. We each have sectors we patrol.”

I dropped my feet over the side of the bed and went in search of my clothes. “And what if you find something?”

“We protect our kind, and do whatever it takes to keep humans from discovering we exist.”

The gun and magazines full of bullets
told me more than I wanted to know.

“He wants to expose you or your…wolves?” I started getting dressed. Quickly.

“We’re not sure he’ll go that far, but he’s angry and desperate.”

Watching Logan stalk around his bedroom, checking ammunition and finally stowing a smaller holster on his calf baffled me. This was a part of him I’d never seen before and never would have guessed existed. Every move was silent, powerful, and deliberate.

He glanced over at me. “Are you all right?”

It took a second for his words to sink in. I nodded. “Yeah, I just…” I stood up. “You’re armed. I don’t know what to think.”

“We can talk about it more tomorrow, but for tonight, you should go home and stay inside. Doors locked.”

“Can’t you give the police an anonymous tip about this guy?”

He shook his head. “No police. If they arrested him, they’d eventually discover he’s a shifter. We’d all be in danger.”

His Uncle Niko popped into my head. Until today I’d never realized he’d killed himself to save his family…his Pack.

“So if this guy’s not going to jail…” My words died as the realization sank in.

Logan came to me, taking my hands in his. I stared up into his blue eyes, wondering what happened to him while I’d been gone.

“If we can’t contain him, we’ll have to stop him.”

I swallowed hard, not sure I wanted to hear the answer, but I had to ask. “Have you killed people before?”

Pained lines etched his eyes. “You can ask me tomorrow, but please, Anna, don’t judge me tonight. Not until you know everything.”

…

I didn’t remember the drive home. My head spun, processing the werewolf side of Logan. I’d barely begun to accept that he might shift into a wolf during the next full moon, but seeing him with holsters and clips of bullets added a whole new layer to the cycle of what-the-hell-am-I-getting-myself-into.

Madison met me at the front door, her voice hushed. “Vivi, we need to talk before you come in.”

“I’m really exhausted. Can we do this later?” I started to move around her, but she side-stepped to block my way. I frowned. “What’s going on?”

The door opened again, and a six foot blond-haired blue-eyed ghost from my past came out. “Vivi. Great to see you again.”

He bent down and hugged me while I glared at his sister over his shoulder and mouthed the words “What the hell?”

She shrugged with a sheepish grin. I pulled away and forced myself not to frown. “Chandler. This is a surprise.”

All true.

His million-dollar smile was firmly in place, and his news anchor hair was coifed just right. He draped an arm over Madison’s shoulders. “My sister invited me out for a few days.”

“Great.” I narrowed my eyes at Madison, then gestured to the door. “Could I get inside and put my stuff down?”

“Oh sure.” He moved aside so I could pass, and Madison hustled in behind me.

She followed me into my bedroom and closed the door. “I’m so sorry, Vivi. He called me yesterday before we went to Rojo’s, and I may have mentioned he should come out and visit.”

I struggled to keep my voice down. “Why would you do that?”

“Because even though you broke up, he’s still my brother.”

I sighed, feeling like a schmuck. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot going on, and suddenly having Chandler show up is a loop I didn’t see coming.”

“There’s more.” She sat beside me on the edge of the bed. “I might’ve told him you were trying to land an interview for
Rolling Stone
.”

“Oh God, you didn’t.”

“In my defense, I hadn’t met Logan yet, and I thought maybe Chandler might take your mind off the ex.”

“Chandler
is
my ex!”

“But
you
left
him
. Big difference.”

Chandler was three years older than me, and driven, hungry to make a name for himself. He’d envisioned us as a journalistic power couple when he offered me a diamond solitaire. By then, he’d already been climbing the ladder of television journalists, plus he had contacts at
Rolling Stone
and the
New York Times
.