Blue Dream (11 page)

Fighting the instinct to roll my eyes about her frown comment, I nod. “Stomach flu just hit. Big time. I'm gonna leave the office for the day. Do you think you can keep everything covered?”

“Staffing is fine. No more scheduled interviews for the day. I can run this ship,” she says with a blithesome arrogance. “Go home. Be sick. Get well soon. Oh! I can send you feel better balloons.”

I bite my tongue to stop myself from snipping. “Please don't. I'll be back tomorrow.”

“Maybe a singing telegram. Would you like that?”

“No,” I insist heading from the front doors. “Just, rest will be enough. Call if you need anything, Dana.”

“Will do.” She calls out. “Feel better!”

Oh I will. As soon as I get exactly where I wanna be, I'll feel fantastic.

**

Gloria's Grande Burger makes hamburgers too big for your mouth and too big for your health. They are amazing. Greasy, cheesy, and always fill the gap they're intended for. Like some sort of cannibal who hasn't eaten in weeks, I lick the running grease from my fingers while the radio in my car has taken to taunting me with songs that only have romantic indications.

Mid suck of dessert is when my phone rings. Reluctantly, I hit the answer button.

Katherine quickly snaps, “Presley Morrison, where are you?”

Suspicious on how she knows, I counter, “Why are you at the school early?”

“I decided to play the good mother card and pick up Angel early for some together time before our appointment tonight-”

“Can we cancel that?”

“No,” she snaps. “Now tell me, where are you?”

After sucking the food from my teeth, I have a sip of my milkshake. “At home...”

“Oh yeah? What's in your mouth?”

Swallowing, I reply, “Mouthwash.”

“Uh-huh.” Katherine's judgmental glare can be felt through the phone. “Chocolate or vanilla.”

With a heavy sigh, knowing I've lost the battle, I reply, “Swirl.”

There's a ruffling sound before she declares, “I am dropping Angel off with my mother who is going to be so excited for the surprise visit, she's going to demand to keep her granddaughter until tomorrow and then I'm coming by your apartment. Clear?”

I nod even though I know she can't see me.

“Good. Now throw whatever remains away and I'll see you soon.”

She hangs up before I can tell her, it's too late. I've eaten everything.

When Katherine finally makes it to my apartment, she doesn't knock. She simply lets herself in. It's her nature. She barges in and does whatever she wants. It should annoy me, which it does, but not for the reason it should. It annoys me because she knows exactly what she wants all the time and has no problem going after it. I, on the other hand, get stuck between the hunger from feeding crazy dreams and the logical decisions that have more merit to be made.

“Explain,” she demands sitting down beside me.

“Noah Collins was my family to interview today.”

“Noah Collins...?”

“Ryder's older brother.”

Her purse drops onto my glass coffee table. “Like the Ryder we've been discussing the last couple of days.”

I reach for the fizzy temptress I haven’t danced with in months. “Exactly.”

A glare comes from her. “What's in there?”

After having a sip, I groan, “I needed the caffeine.”

“You didn't need the caffeine.” Katherine snatches the plastic cup from me. I pout.  My yoga pants covered ass sinks further into the couch. “Nor did you need the heart attack you consumed for lunch.”

In a mumble I argue, “I beg to differ.”

“What you need is to
talk
, Presley.” I tug on the sleeves of my sweatshirt. “You, my beautiful chocolate goddess, need to talk.” Unsure how I feel about the strange compliment I keep my mouth shut. “You bottle up rather than deal with confrontation. You’d rather shove something in your mouth until the storm passes, but you need to talk. You are entitled to talk. And I'm always hear to listen.”

While watching Katherine kick off her shoes I sigh, “I know. It's just....after Ryder, during the last stretch of things with him, I guess...I don't know, I found it easier to say nothing than to fight for something.”

“But you know how to fight,” she challenges. “When you are driven by passion, you are the biggest fighter I know. Look at the school.” Her nod to the only dream I had as hard as being Mrs. Presley Collins, makes me smile. “But not everything needs to be a fight. Sometimes, just venting and communicating can do wonders. Even when you hate the topic or are afraid of the results. I say that to you not as a best selling relationship counselor, but as your best friend.”

I nod again. “I know.”

“Good.” Without waiting for anything else from me she pulls out the dreaded recorder. “I think today's topic might help you get away from the longing nostalgia of yesterday, though as an important side note, that kiss sounded amazing.”

The words drop immediately, “Best kiss of my life.”

Her grin grows and I roll my eyes. “Best kisser?”

“By. Far.”

A small swoon comes from her before she shakes it away. She pushes the button on the device and says, “Love Can Push Your Morals.”

Not thrilled with the topic choice, I run my fingers through my hair.

“Do you agree?”

“I do.”

“Was there a time during 'the war' as you refer to it as, in which this happened? Was there a time where your own morals were put in question?”

Unconsciously, I ruffle my hair once more. “I wasn't a super thin girl in high school. I had...more curves than I care to think about, but unlike Carmen, weight wasn't the shot I fired at my enemies. Typically, I let her campaign for my innocence and smear the name of those who challenged me or stood against me. I didn't see the point in actively trying to hurt another like that. It wasn't me. It was her. Sure, I laughed and giggled and told her she should stop, but I knew who she was as much as she knew who I was. Carmen was Carmen, and I was me. We balanced each other, but one night...one night I became Carmen.”

Blaze and his pathetic excuse for friends join me just as I am getting off the phone with my mom. I told her once I knew whose house we were crashing at for the night I'd call. Carmen wants to go to this party and her parents are in Boca, so she figured we could go with the plan of her getting a little tipsy, bringing a one nighter home, and enjoy the perks of being an only child.

“We fucking lost,” Nathan gripes pulling out a cigarette. “All that hard work.”

Hard work? Not quite.

“You can’t smoke that out here,” Carmen quickly snaps. “It’s a crime. It’s school property.”

“So,” he bites back getting in her face. “It ain’t like it’s my school.”

Carmen's hand pulls back to slap him, something I've seen her to do to guys more often than she should be able to get away with, and I quickly stop her. “Don’t light it. Look we’re about to leave anyway. Smoke in the car.”

“Fine.” Nathan slides it behind his ear. “Wouldn't want my smoke wasted on this dump anyway.”

Blaze slides next to me happier than the rest.

Happy to have put out one fire, I give him a skeptical look. “What’s with the smile? You lost….”

“To a magician,” Carmen adds with her own devilish grin.

“True, but I got to perform and I love that feeling. I got to do it with my best friends in front of the whole school, not to mention I had the girl of my dreams in the audience cheering me on.”

The gentle smile on his face raises the guilt filling my stomach. He's not my dream anything. He's not even my dream distraction for the whole world to watch while Ryder and I continue to meet up behind closed doors. Dating Blaze causes more cheating rumors to fly at rapid rates than were ever thought of while Ryder and I were openly together. It feels like every other day I walk out of a class only to be hit with the latest gossip cycling through the mill on how low down, and skeezy he is. The worst part is I don't care if they're true or not, because he's a mere fill in. I know I should feel ashamed for using him this way. A tiny part of me does. That other part? The part that knows after we walk across that stage and summer hits, Ryder and I can skip town to start our new life together, is much bigger. Much louder. And something I care about much more. I know what we're doing is wrong, but I'll ask for forgiveness later. 

“Plus, now that I don’t have to rehearse, we can spend more time together.”

Loathing the fact we could even be happy for a second, Nathan interrupts,“Wrong. We still have a mix tape to put out before Christmas, so…”

“You just hate to see them happy don’t you?” Carmen points out. “I like when we're on the same page.” Not giving him a chance to add anything, she turns her head towards me. “So to Arik’s we go? I heard Mike Tessler from Eagle-wood is gonna be there. I wanna see if I can nail him before his girlfriend comes home from Paris.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like going anymore,” Nathan whines. “Let’s just go back to my house and chill.”

“Nope,” Carmen shoots him down. “That bitch comes back at Christmas and Mike doesn't get out much. We're going. Besides you're always in that smelly fucking basement. Live a little.”

“Yeah come on,” James begs.

“Let’s just make an appearance!” Eli encourages.

“No.” He pouts. His toddler antics make me glare. “Whatever. Look, you fools can go, but I’m gonna go back to my place. Gonna call a couple of huni bunnies…”

Nathan smiles to himself, which is when Carmen slips in, “Make sure they don't have rabies.” When he grunts she deems herself successful and tosses her hands in the air. “Let's party!”

Arriving at the party in my thigh high boots I am very acquainted with and a tight sweater dress that's perfect for the fall weather, I try to hide my surprise at how crowded it is. I haven't been to many parties since Ryder and I officially split. We made appearances at a few during our time together, but for the most part it was never about getting drunk and needing an excuse to make out. It was about hanging with friends who swore we never came up for air.

On our way up the driveway that's littered with bitch beer drinking girls and obviously over horny dudes, we leave Blaze, Eli, and James to smoke a cigarette.

As soon as I'm on the other side of the threshold, I'm stopped by a junior girl I recognize from one of my electives. “Be careful, Presley. Ryder's here. And he’s not alone.”

“Does he have his pet on a leash?” Carmen's remark gets a bunch of tipsy, catty girl laughs. We spot the two of them in the kitchen at the same time. “Guess not.”

Carmen smirks and I can't help but smile too. Bambi is like that piece of food that's stuck in your teeth. You do everything you can to get rid of it, but it stays stuck, determined to ruin every meal you have until you can finally un-wedge it from that space brushing, flossing, and toothpicks can't reach. That is if you haven't destroyed your entire mouth in the process of trying to get it to just go the fuck away. Yup. That pretty much sums up Bambi.

Before we have time to successfully get to the alcohol I know Carmen is dying to have, Bambi’s best friends turn their bodies to face me. Carmen announces, “Watch out. Stampede ahead.”

A giggles escapes, which is when Bambi drunkenly storms over to me, dragging Ryder the entire way behind her. I try not to make eye contact. I try not to let my jealousy over the fact she is holding the hand I was holding yesterday show. “What the hell are you doing here?”