Blue Diary (37 page)

After that, Rosarie stored her suitcase under her bed. Every day she waits for Ethan to contact her, but I guess he's moved on to someone new. Rosarie is still hopeful, even though summer's almost over and the trial has begun. People say Ethan will be put away for a hundred years, that he'll never get out of Maryland again, but my sister continues to wait, even on days when it rains. She has stationed herself outside on the sidewalk, looking for the mailman. Her face is so blotchy from crying that on some days she doesn't even look like herself. People drive past and honk their horns, but she doesn't care. Her hair is dripping wet, as dark as ashes. You can see through her clothes, but she doesn't care about that either. The boys who used to chase after her are afraid of her now, but once she comes to her senses they'll forget how they used to walk right past her. pretending they didn't know her.

Occasionally, Warren Peck's nephew, Kyle, who's so quiet and good-natured Rosarie probably never noticed he was alive, has been thoughtful enough to bring her an umbrella or a cup of water as she stands out in the heat or the rain. I have hopes whenever I see him, even though he's shorter than Rosarie and has a scar over one eye; I always wave and try to encourage him. My sister will need a boy like that, one who'll never notice if she looks out past the horizon, south to the highway and the life she might have led if people here didn't love her, if this wasn't her home.

When it gets dark, my grandmother sends me to bring Rosarie back inside. Lately, we have dinner together, and even my mother sits down at the table.

“Come on.” I say. I pull on her arm and Rosarie follows me, but when she does, I can see how hurt she's been. She's a human being now. with tears that bleed red. She tells me I have no idea of what real love is like. She says love is a pledge that can never be broken, but I know nothing stays the same. I'm well aware that when Collie and I sec each other next we'll be different people: we'll have to look beneath the surface to sec who we once were and who we've become, and that's not so easy to do. Somebody looking at Rosarie right now, for instance, might see only her pain and her torment. They'd have no idea of how beautiful she is, but I do. My grandmother told me once that when you lose somebody you think you've lost the whole world as well, but that's not the way things turn out in the end. Eventually, you pick yourself up and look out the window, and once you do you see everything that was there before the world ended is out there still. There are the same apple trees and the same songbirds, and over our heads, the very same sky that shines like heaven, so far above us we can never hope to reach such heights.

When Ethan Ford fails to show up for work on a brilliant summer morning, none of his neighbors would guess that for more than thirteen years, he has been running from his past. His true nature has been locked away, as hidden as his real identity. But sometimes locks spring open, and the devastating truths of Ethan Ford's history shatter the small-town peace of Monroe, affecting family and friends alike.

1. In
Blue Diary,
Alice Hoffman uses imagery from the natural world to mirror events that take place in the lives of her characters. Why is it portentous when she writes in Chapter One that lilies “only last for a single day and then, no matter what a person might do to say them, they are fated, by God, or circumstance, or nature, to fade away?” What else in the novel is as ephemeral as the lilies Hoffman describes?

2. When someone you know seems exceptionally blessed or lucky, how does that make you feel? How does it affect your relationship with the “blessed” person?

3. Why docs Kat “save” Rosarie from running away with Ethan, after her sister has treated her so unkindly? Do you think that Kat will always feel second best to her beautiful sister?

4. Kat asserts that her decision to report Ethan to the police had nothing to do with the loss of her own father. Do you believe her? Why or why not?

5. Why does Jorie, after reading Rachel Morris's last diary entry, immediately decide to leave Ethan, and her hometown, behind? What does James Morris mean when he says Jorie will know what to do if she reads the diary?

6. Loyalty and devotion are important themes in
Blue Diary.
Do you think Jorie shows sufficient loyalty to her husband?

7. Charlotte Kite endures divorce, the loss of both her parents in high school, and breast cancer, but she finds a lover in Barney Stark. Jorie leads a charmed life until her husband's heinous crimes are revealed. Which woman has had to endure more? Which situation is resolved better?

8. Should the deeds from our past be used to judge us in the present? Does benevolent behavior in the recent past “undo” reprehensible behavior from long ago?