Authors: Ana Layne
Tamilyn
I’m not sure I understand Ruston’s jealousy. He can deny it all he wants but he’s jealous. His eyes are laced with it and his words are soaked with venom. I asked him why he was jealous, hoping he might just come out and say what I wish he would, but he doesn’t. He never does, so maybe this is a good reason to move on from the hopes I hold inside, the hopes that maybe my best friend could possibly see me as more than that. The crazy thing is Austin resembles Ruston just a tad. His eyes are the same and they have a lot of the same facial features. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to him. I have no expectations of anything with Austin, but a little flirting never hurt anyone, right? Austin started it, anyway, and I have no problem playing along.
I sip on the rum and Coke Austin bought me and zone out. I pretend for a moment that I’m in some sort of alternate universe where Austin never walks into the picture and Ruston and I can be together. What a cruel world. I break out of my thoughts and realize Austin isn’t even beside me anymore. Where did he go? My gaze roams the vicinity and I spot him talking to a few guys. I turn and see Ruston still standing in the same spot, drinking the same drink. His brow is creased and I know he’s deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask him.
He snaps out of his thoughts and a smile covers his face. “Nothing really. I’m just wondering what it’s going to be like having Austin around. What do you think of him?”
I glance over to where Austin stands with those guys and shrug. “I don’t really know him now. He’s grown up since we last saw him. He bought me a drink. That was nice.”
“I would have bought your drink, Tam, and you know it.” There’s that jealousy. It’s back, but I won’t rub it in his face.
“If you’re that worried, how about you buy my second? That would be nice.”
“Oh yeah? Well, let me know when you’re ready. You know I’ll do anything for you, Tammy Lou.”
It shocks me how bad the flutters inside my stomach are right now. They invade every fiber of my being, so much that even I’m shocked when I lean forward and plant a kiss merely inches from his lips. I’m daring, bold, attempting to go for what I want. His eyes widen as he reaches for the spot where my lips just were.
“Tam.” His voice breaks. “What are you doing?”
“It was just a kiss. Don’t freak out, Rus.”
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and my knees almost give out. He looks to where Austin is and when he sees no sign of him spotting us, he grabs my hand and pulls me away from the throngs of people.
He crushes his lips against mine and my body melts into his. He could do anything he wanted to me right now and I would not object. The kiss deepens as his tongue tangles with mine. Then he pulls away. It was so damn raw and perfect, I don’t think I want another kiss ever again.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been dying to do that,” Ruston tells me between breaths.
I’m out of breath also and finding it hard to speak. Does this ruin everything? “I, uh…”
“Hey guys, I was wondering where y’all went. Oh, is this the bathroom? Dude, Ruston, I have something to tell you in a minute. I think you’ll be fucking pumped!” Austin interrupts. I’m almost glad he did because although the kiss was no doubt the best kiss ever, I have no clue what I was going to say. What could I say to that without sounding like an idiot?
“Yeah, you looked deep into your conversation and we just figured we could use the bathroom and get back before you noticed we were gone,” Ruston tells him.
I bring the glass to my lips and take a long drink. When I pull it away, I nod to confirm Ruston’s story. Austin disappears into the bathroom and emerges within a matter of seconds. Must be nice to be a guy and just be able to whip it out and piss.
“So…” He turns to Ruston. “I know I told you I was going to start job hunting tomorrow. Well, I just met these two guys. Uh, Lance and Garrett I think were their names. They belong to this gym not far from here. They fight for money in matches. How fucking awesome does that sound? I’ve got street smarts when it comes to fighting and I started training a few months ago, so I bet I could adjust.”
“I doubt it’s easy, man,” Ruston says. “All the fighters I’ve seen look like they train constantly. They don’t just throw down in the streets.”
“Do you not listen? I just told you I’ve had some actual training. I’m not an idiot. You should join me, man. This could be fucking epic. Family kicking ass in the ring.”
Ruston and I must have the same look on our face because Austin breaks into a fit of laughter. He’s laughing so hard he’s clenching his sides. “What?” I ask him, unamused.
“You two are cracking me up. What’s with the serious faces? I’m serious about this, Rus, you should consider it. They told me to show up tomorrow and I plan on it.”
“I’ll think about it,” Ruston answers. I slap him on the arm and even with the music blaring, it could still be heard. “What?” he looks at me, puzzled.
“You, fighting? Are you sure, Ruston?”
“He’s a big boy, Tamilyn. I bet he can take care of himself.” Austin winks.
“I know he is. Do what y’all want. It could be entertaining to watch y’all get your asses kicked.”
“Sweetheart.” Austin grins. “I don’t lose at anything. Just you wait and see.”
Ruston laughs, and I just can’t seem to get the
are you shitting me
look off my face. Austin is confident, I’ll give him that much. Maybe he is as good as he says he is. Who knows? I only know one thing—he’s got to stop staring at me with those gorgeous eyes because I’m facing a serious conflict of heart. I don’t know why I keep thinking of it that way. Other than the kiss Ruston and I just shared, nothing has ever happened before.
“How late are you planning on staying, Tam?” Ruston asks, changing the subject.
“I’m not sure. We just got here not long ago. Why?”
“I’m tired. I have to be up early to go run a few errands before probably going to this gym Austin wants me to check out. I can bring you home if you’d like.”
“Nice try. You’ve been drinking and you know my rules. I can’t believe you want to leave so soon.” I pout, hoping it will change his mind.
“I can stay with her if you’re ready to go,” Austin offers. “I can make sure she gets home and then I’ll head back to the apartment.”
Ruston eyes him strangely, to the point that I’m a little nervous about it. “It’s okay. I’ll stay. You ready for your next drink, Tam?”
I look down to see barely any liquid in my glass, but a ton of ice. I didn’t realize I was practically done. “Uh, yeah…sure.”
Ruston turns to walk off, leaving us standing there. Austin touches the small of my back before I can get away. My whole body shuts down. How the fuck can both of their touches be so electrifying? “Is he always this uptight?”
“N-no,” I answer.
“Well, he needs to lighten up and have some fun. What’s your take on shots?” He raises his eyebrow and a laugh escapes my mouth.
“You’re talking my language, Austin. Nice to have you in town.”
“Oh, believe me, sweetheart, the pleasure is all mine.”
His words leave me frozen. He’s such a smooth talker. With a few more drinks, he just may be a whole lot more.
“I’m sure it is.”
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asks as we inch closer to the crowd inside the bar. I turn to face him and shake my head. I feel terrible saying no but I’m not lying. I’m not seeing anyone. “Good, I think you just made my stay here so much better. Let’s go get those shots.”
Ruston is waiting patiently at the bar with my next rum and Coke in his hands. He slides it to me and I thank him. I’ve barely had a sip before Austin hands us each a shot of whisky. He clears his throat. “Here’s to me starting a new life with my cousin Ruston and the ever so beautiful Tamilyn. I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
Ruston throws his back immediately and coughs. “Sorry, it must have gone down the wrong hole. Good toast, man.”
I toss my shot back and reach for my drink to chase it. Maybe this should have been a guys’ night but Ruston will just have to put on his big boy underwear and deal with it. I kissed him earlier, for crying out loud, not Austin.
A song I like starts playing and my first instinct is to dance. Ruston shakes his head and goes back to his drink. Typical behavior for him. Austin leans over and asks if I want to dance. Without thinking, I nod. It’s just a dance, so what could happen?
His arms find my waist as my hips move with the rhythm. He’s so close I can smell his cologne. I close my eyes, allowing myself to get lost in the music. I wish this were Ruston dancing with me but that would never happen. I’m usually left to dance alone and for once it’s nice to have someone.
The song ends and his hands linger on my waist for a moment before he pulls away. “Can I see you sometime…you know, away from my cousin?”
“I, uh…I guess so.”
He smiles wide, stepping back from me. “What about tomorrow after I leave the gym?”
“You were serious about that?”
“Yes, I am, and I promise to go take a shower so I don’t stink.”
“Aren’t you the gentleman,” I joke. “That’s awfully sweet.”
“I’m not usually sweet, so you’re welcome.”
“Okay, ass, I’m going to get my drink off the bar.” I laugh as I walk away. My insides are all tingly and I’m scared for Ruston to find out. I want to hide this from him but that’s virtually impossible considering we talk every day and Austin is his roommate. Why the hell couldn’t this happen with anyone else? Why with my best friend’s cousin on the same night we shared the most epic kiss?
“So, Ruston, what is it you do now?” Austin asks as he orders another drink for himself. I think it’s best for me to just stop drinking for the night. I’ve already made crazy decisions sober, so who the hell knows what I would do drunk.
“I work with my dad at his office.” Ruston’s dad is an architect and a damn good one. Hell, if I ever decide to build a house I want Ruston to design it.
“So, you’re going to join this gym with me? You’re in good shape, man, you would earn some extra money.”
“Why the hell not? What do you think, Tamilyn?”
All eyes are on me and Ruston knows I hate being put on the spot. My palms grow sweaty and I close my eyes. When I open them, they are both still staring at me. Austin is smirking and I want to know why this decision has anything to do with me.
“If that’s what you want, Rus, you know I support you.”
He turns to Austin. “I’m in. What time?”
“Fuck yeah. I told the guys I’d be there about nine in the morning.”
They chat amongst themselves about their new venture and I sip on my drink. I grab my phone and realize it’s a little after eleven. Time just flew by. Austin stops their conversation and reaches for my phone. He begins typing and then hands it back to me. The screen has his name and his number saved. I’m scared to look up and see Ruston’s expression because I know it’s not going to be pretty but then maybe he should have made this move before. I’d wait forever for him to tell me how he feels, and that kiss won’t leave my mind, but I guess I don’t have forever. It won’t kill anyone for me to live a little.
Ruston
I was so damn excited to leave the bar last night. Nothing went like I imagined it would. Austin and Tamilyn weren’t supposed to have an attraction toward each other and after the kiss we shared, I didn’t think she’d pursue
him
. I want to be mad but I can’t be mad at her. She is a grown woman and if she wants to be with someone, I can’t stop her. I hated watching her get into the cab last night. To stake my claim on her, I opened the door for her and softly kissed her cheek. We told each other goodbye and I haven’t heard from her since. Austin walks out of his room smiling a little too wide for my taste. There is nothing I can think of that should have someone smiling that much this early in the morning.
“Good morning, Rus. I thought you had some errands to run this morning.”
“Oh, uh…I decided they can wait.” Truth is, I had no errands to run. I just made that up, looking for an excuse to leave and get Tamilyn to leave with me last night. My plan, however, was botched.
“So you’re still coming to the gym with me, right?” His eyebrow is raised and I’m fully aware that I told him I’d join alongside him. If this is what Tamilyn likes, I guess it’s time to jump in and fight fair. Fight, yes. I won’t go down without a fight when it comes to her.
“Yeah, man.” I glance at the clock. It’s eight and I remember him distinctly saying we’d be there at nine. “Let me hop in the shower real quick and get changed.”
I’m in and out of the shower in a matter of minutes. My gut is twisted into what seems like a million knots. What the hell am I getting myself into today? I’ve never been the fighting type but apparently Austin is. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering whether or not this will all blow up in my face once it’s said and done.
I grab my phone off my nightstand before meeting Austin in the living room. I stare at Tamilyn’s name and decide to text her.
Wish me luck, I’m going to that gym.
Please be careful, Rus, I worry about you.
I’ll be fine. Want to grab something to eat this evening?
I throw out the bait and wait for her to take a bite. It’s not unusual for us to grab dinner a few times a week. That’s what best friends do.
Well, I’m supposed to meet up with Austin later. I’ll make it up to you I swear.
Talk about a knife to my chest. Reading those words just made everything crystal fucking clear. No wonder he was smiling so big this morning; he’s got plans with
my
best friend later. I don’t even know how to respond to something like this. Do I just say
cool
or
have fun?
I can’t say anything like that so I close out her message and walk slowly into the living room where Austin is waiting for me.
“You ready to go?” I reach for my keys. I’m reminded that Austin doesn’t have a key yet. I really need to get him one if he’s going to be staying here for a while.
“Hell yeah, I’m anxious to see what this is all about. I think I’ll drive, though, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “I know you and Tamilyn have plans later.”
“You don’t have any kind of thing going on with her, do you? Am I overstepping my boundaries or anything? Because I swear my intentions are not to fuck up anything. I came here to straighten up.”
“Yeah, that’s what Mom said…and no. You aren’t overstepping anything. We’re just really good friends.”
Who happened to kiss last night
. There it is, entering my mind all over again.
“Okay, man. If I do something I’m not supposed to, I want you to tell me.”
I nod and walk out the door with him, following closely behind. I watch him start his car before I turn my truck on. He backs out first and I follow him. He’s the one who talked to these guys last night so I’m assuming he knows where we are going.
I don’t bother turning my radio on. I’m just not in the mood. I’m kicking myself in the ass because Austin just asked me if I had any sort of claim on her and I lied and told him no. It’s not like it’s an actual claim, but fuck it. I’ve had my chance plenty of times over the last few years and I’ve managed to royally screw that up.
Way to go, Ruston.
Within a matter of minutes we pull up to a building with a tacky rundown sign that reads
Lou’s Gym
. Austin jumps out of his car as soon as he shuts it off and I sit there in my truck wondering if this is something I really want to do. Austin knocks on my window, pulling me from my thoughts, and I turn the truck off and open the door.
“You ready, man? Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.” He smirks.
“No, I’m not having second thoughts. I’m ready. Let’s do this.” I lock my truck behind me as we walk toward the front door.
There are already a few vehicles sitting in the parking lot and I wonder just how many people train here. Most of these people are probably well-trained, and I know I’m going to look like a dumbass in front of everyone. Austin becomes the center of attention when the two guys from the bar last night notice him. They’re all shirtless. I guess that’s how they train.
“Hey, man, glad you could make it.” The blond guy standing before me is covered in as many tattoos as Austin has. “I’m Lance.” He turns to introduce himself to me.
“Ruston.” I nod.
“I’m Garrett, since this ass-hat doesn’t want to introduce anyone else.” I can’t help but laugh at the guy standing in front of me. They are both sweaty as if they’ve been here for hours. Maybe we should have been here sooner.
“Nice to meet you guys.” They all smirk and stare at me. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but what else are you supposed to tell someone when you first meet them?
“Come on, I’ll introduce you to Howard. He runs this place and will make sure you get set up.” Lance leads the way to an office on the left side of the building.
I follow reluctantly, still second guessing myself. No way in hell was I going to tell Austin that I wasn’t certain about this. I’d never hear the end of that shit. A broad shouldered man with blond hair sits at a desk playing on his phone. He looks up as we walk in and clears his throat.
“Hey, Howard, these are the guys I told you about from last night.” Lance beams as if he just won the lottery.
“Come on in, guys, we can talk. Lance, go find something to do. Why don’t you and Garrett go play Ring Around the Rosie, since all you wanna do is play around today,” Howard jokes. Lance grabs at his chest, pretending his feelings are hurt, and Garrett just rolls his eyes.
“Don’t make me tell my sister you’ve been mean to me,” Garrett retorts.
“Hell no. Ever since Whitney found out she’s pregnant again, she’s been on the warpath. I guess I’ll need to put a ring on her finger soon.”
Lance throws his hand up in true Beyonce style and waves it around. Oh my God, Austin has is joining a damn circus. A laugh escapes my throat and everyone turns to stare at me. “I’m sorry, that was just pretty funny.”
“Welcome to Lou’s, then.” Howard laughs. “We’re a big family. This is what we do besides the extensive training. Everyone here is at the top of their game and we pride ourselves on that. If you think you have what it takes to be part of this family, then we welcome you with open arms.”
I see Austin beaming from the corner of my eye. This shit is practically what he was made for. “I’m definitely interested, sir,” he says. “I have to be honest with you, I just moved here and mainly it was to get away from the path I was heading down. I was fighting for all the wrong reasons and I really think with training, I could be an asset to your gym. This just may be the purpose I need in my life.”
I gawk at Austin like he’s insane. He spoke as if he was in a job interview and his life depended on it. Howard focuses on him, though, probably replaying every word over and over again.
“What is your name again?” he asks Austin.
“Austin Moran.”
“Austin, you’ve fought before, but mainly street fighting?”
“Yes, sir. I had a few months of formal training, however, before I moved here.”
“I’m going to tell you right now, and this is the only time I’ll say this because if it happens, you’re out of my gym. I do
not
allow street fighting of any kind. The only fighting you do is inside the ring. Ask Lance, he’s been through it and he’ll tell you he learned his lesson. The fighting we do here requires intensive training, and it is hard work. You will have to dedicate yourself to learning and training every day. Understand?”
“I understand,” Austin replies.
“What is your name, son?” Howard turns his attention to me.
“Ruston McGregor. Austin is my cousin. He just moved in with me.”
“Nice to meet you, Ruston. What brings you here besides Austin being your cousin?” Howard asks.
“Well, to be quite frank, sir, I’m not sure this was something I would have ever considered until Austin told me about it. I’d like to give it a try.”
“Family is good. Garrett’s sister Whitney used to train here, before we had our first kid. They were able to get along, so I’m assuming you two can do the same thing?”
Austin and I both nod. Howard pulls a stack of papers from his desk and hands them over to us. “Take these home and fill them out. You can bring them back tomorrow and we can get started. Sound good?”
“Yes, sir,” we both reply in unison. Howard stands to shake our hands before we exit the office.
Lance and Garrett are standing barefoot on the mats that cover the floor. They are sparring, throwing hit after hit at each other. They’re completely focused and it’s like they weren’t even joking with one another just moments earlier. Before we walk outside, the last thing I see is Garrett take Lance down to the mat with a thud. Austin is tickled twenty shades of pink and I’m second guessing myself even more than I was before. How the fuck will this help me get Tamilyn back into my arms? I’ll never know.
***
I’m lying in my bed feeling completely sorry for myself. Austin is in the shower getting ready for whatever he’s going to do with Tamilyn. I can’t believe I set myself up for this shit. It’s time to be a man and get what the fuck I want. I want Tamilyn more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
I grab my phone and text her, knowing she’s probably getting ready too, but I don’t care.
You sure you want to go out with him? We could always go see a movie or something.
You are jealous. I knew it Ruston, why didn’t you say something? It’s not like I can just back out last minute.
Why can’t you?
I know I sound desperate, but I’m praying she can read between the lines.
What is it you want from me Rus?
I sigh as I get ready to type my answer. I’m not sure what she’s going to say but I need to say it. I should have said this in person a long time ago.
I want you Tamilyn.
If you hadn’t kissed me last night, I may not believe you. I’ve already made plans though Rus, and you showed no real interest in me until your cousin came to town.
My reply is hurried and honest.
I have been, you just weren’t seeing it.
We need to talk about this later; I’ve got to finish getting ready.
I don’t text her back. The conversation ends on that note. I’m disappointed that I couldn’t just be a man, and tell her last night. Sure, I could stick my tongue down her throat but I couldn’t just say,
Tam, I want you.
I’m terrified that after what I’ve just told her she may not look at me the same again. If I ruined our friendship, I’ll live, but I admit I don’t want to know what that may be like.
Austin comes walking out of the bathroom smelling clean and looking sharp. His cologne fills the air and in the back of my mind, all I can hope is that she thinks it smells terrible. “Well, I’m out. What are you up to tonight?”
“I may drink a few beers and see if anything good is on TV.”
“Well, if we end up at the bar or something, I can call you.”
“Nah, it’s okay. Y’all have a good time.”
He raises his eyebrow in suspicion. I know he doesn’t believe me, but to be honest, I really am going to drink a few beers. I probably won’t be watching TV. Instead, I’ll be devising a plan. He grabs his keys and waves as he walks out the door. I lock the door behind him and walk straight to the refrigerator. I pop the top on one beer and nearly down it in one gulp. Cheers to a lonely night.