Blow (25 page)

Elle used it as her cue to pull away. “We can’t stay like this.”

The high building again from the sound of her voice alone, I looked down. I didn’t see why not. It was the only time we could. The thought of one more time had my cock stirring in her pussy again. Keeping the mood light, casual even, I shrugged and offered, “I’m up to it if you are.”

Why beat around the bush?

She gave me an amused laugh, and it was the most beautiful sound, a sound I knew I’d never forget. “Is that a challenge?”

I raised a brow, and having a feeling she didn’t back away from challenges, I teased, “It can be.”

“Your legs must be tired,” she said with the sexiest, raspy tone that I don’t think was on purpose.

I nipped at her neck. “Nope.”

She tossed her head back. “Your arms?”

I couldn’t remember the last time I was playful with a woman.

If ever.

Then I remembered. “Oh fuck, your back.”

“I’m fine,” she said, but I could tell by the way she was twisting that it was bothering her.

I gently set her down and reached between us to hold the condom in place as I pulled out of her. I missed the warmth instantly and I could tell she did too.

As soon as I opened the shower door to dispose of the condom, my eyes landed directly in front of me and I froze.

I was a dumb fuck.

How the hell had I let my wall down?

I couldn’t do that.

I knew better.

I tried my best to put it back up. Staring longer at the sight of the crack down the mirror I had made earlier certainly helped. It served to remind me who I was, and what I shouldn’t be doing. I was the grandson of the once head of the Irish Mob who had made an enemy of the now head and I knew I couldn’t be seen with any girl around this town, especially not this girl. Somehow, some way, Tommy would find out, and I didn’t want to think about what that meant.

His day would come.

“Hey, are you okay?” Elle asked.

I dared to look at her.

I shouldn’t have.

When our eyes met, all I saw was the smile slip from her face.

I really was an asshole.

Dropping my gaze, I grabbed a towel and handed it to her. Completely pissed at myself, I avoided looking at her and answered, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

The chill in the air said I wasn’t.

She wrapped the towel around herself and then opened one of the bags she must have set on the floor earlier. “I should get dressed,” she said quietly.

I could tell she was putting up her own wall.

The tension in the room left me feeling guilty. I dried off and pulled my pants on, then turned to her and lamely said, “I have some things to take care of. I’ll be out in the other room if you need me.”

Her mouth thinned and I could see her armor go all the way up. “Yes, sure, of course.”

I was being a dick and I knew it.

The awareness of my actions cut like a knife.

Odd.

It had never bothered me before. I did what I did because I had to, and I’d grown used to it. Numb to any reaction. I shook off the strange feeling and looked at my watch. “Almost ten.”

Elle nodded. “I think I’ll just go to bed.”

I turned around to walk out the door and didn’t even look back before I left. I felt like I was bleeding. I wanted to kiss her. To say good night. But I couldn’t, because I knew if I looked into her green eyes and watched them fill up with some unknown emotion, I’d scoop her up and pull her in my arms and tell her I was sorry for being an asshole. The cold routine was for her own good, though.

That I wanted her but couldn’t have her didn’t matter.

I feared that if I spent another minute with her, I’d tell her why.

And then what would she think of me?

The closed door between the living area and the bedroom acted as a buffer between us, which was good because I needed to think clearly about the situation. And not the one that had just occurred. The one we were both in with Patrick, and Tommy, too, of course.

Someone stalking Elle made no sense. It wasn’t Patrick’s style. I started to wonder if maybe she was being paranoid. The shadows she saw could very easily have been caused by the wind. But where the fuck was the garage door opener? Had whoever broken into her car taken it? I’d have her check for that first.

It was the logical step.

I pulled my body onto the couch and threw my head back on the small pillow. Exhaustion eased its way into my bones and I allowed myself to close my eyes.

Screaming woke me up.

Elle’s voice.

My heart slammed like a rock against my chest and terror raced through me. I bolted up, grabbed my SIG, and ran for the bedroom door. I wanted to kick it down but thought better of it and eased it open instead. Light spilled into the dark room from the living area and I shot a 360-degree glance around. The baby girl was sleeping soundly in the crib, but Elle was thrashing in the sheets again.

No one was in there with her.

Thank God.

After I realized she was having another nightmare, I rushed over to the bed and set my gun down on the night table, where the digital clock read 2:31 in the morning.

“Get out. Get out. I never want to see you again!” she yelled.

I might have thought it was me she was yelling at if she hadn’t had a nightmare just last night. The thought it could be me was like a heavy weight on my shoulders and I instantly regretted my retreat just a few hours ago. I stared down at her and kept my voice quiet. “Elle, wake up. It’s just a dream.”

Her fingers were gripping the sheets so tightly that I could see the material pulling. I placed a hand on her shoulder. “Elle, wake up,” I whispered.

She sat up.

Confused.

Exhausted.

Vulnerable.

My head spun a little bit and I realized I’d been holding my breath.
Dumb ass.
What the fuck was wrong with me? I had to man up.

She looked at me and seemed to blink everything into focus. Then her eyes darted to Clementine.

“She’s fine,” I whispered reassuringly.

Elle was shaking, her body still experiencing the trauma of the nightmare even though she was fully awake. “What’s going on? Why are you in here?” she asked frantically.

The covers were tangled and tossed to the side. I pulled them up and sat beside her. “Elle, talk to me. What were you dreaming about?”

She shook her head.

“Who do you want to go away? Did someone hurt you?” My voice was unbelievably calm considering the thumping of my pulse in my throat.

Her eyes bore into mine, searching.

Something inside me said,
Fuck reason
. She needed someone. It wasn’t her fault it was me that was here. That’s when I did it. I moved closer to her. But that wasn’t enough to relax the taut muscles and scared look on her face. To try to help, I pushed her hair from her eyes so she could see me. “It’s okay. Tell me,” I said, my voice low.

Elle took a deep breath and blew it out. “She left me alone with him. She knew what he was like and she left me alone with him. That’s why I hated her.”

My brain started to spasm at what exactly that meant. “Who, Elle?”

“Lizzy. My sister. She left me alone with him. Right after my mother died, my sister came to my hospital room and told me she had to leave.”

I already knew who she was talking about, so I clarified, “She left you alone with your father.”

She nodded.

I struggled to speak as my stomach knotted. It felt like I had balls of rubber bands in there and they were bouncing from side to side. “Did he hurt you? Is that why you were in the hospital?”

Elle shook her head. “I begged her stay. When I knew she wasn’t going to, I blamed her for what had happened. I knew it wasn’t her fault. But then she told me she’d send for me when she got her life settled and I lost it. I told her not to bother. I never wanted to see her again, and then I took off the bracelet she had given me and threw it at her like it never mattered. It mattered. It did matter. I told her if she walked out that door, never to contact me. Why would I do that?”

I pulled her to me and tried to soothe her. “Shhh . . . Elle, we all say and do things sometimes that we regret. I’m sure your sister knows that.”

Her tears were spilling down my bare chest as she shook her head. “No, she didn’t. If she did, why did she wait until she was in trouble to contact me?”

I had no response for her, but I was compelled to lie down and pull her to me. Stroking her back, I kissed her head and tried to ease her pain. I didn’t know exactly what had happened but whatever it was, it had impacted her life. And I felt somewhat to blame for invoking those memories. I shouldn’t have questioned her about her parents last night when the vibe was clear from the start that her relationship with them was fragile.

Her breathing started to settle and she flung her arm across my chest and held on to me.

A panic started to rise in me and I considered jumping up.

That would be the biggest asshole move I could ever make.

At least I knew that.

I talked myself off the ledge. It was okay. She needed me. I could be there for her. It didn’t have to mean anything else.

Did it?

Fuck.

I had to admit it.

The truth was, no matter how much I tried to distance myself from her, physically or emotionally, she was already in me.

It was too late.

No amount of space was going to stop what I was feeling.

I was fucked.

DAY 3

ELLE

C
lementine cooed in the early morning light.

I panicked, wondering if Logan was still in bed with me.

Uncertain, I opened my eyes and peeked.

He wasn’t.

I should have been relieved, but I wasn’t sure I was. Logan was messing with my mind. I’d never met anyone like him. He radiated sex appeal but could turn it off in the blink of an eye. I shouldn’t have cared—but I did. He’d opened something in my mind that had me thinking that way. He turned me on. He’d awakened something in my body that had me wanting him. That worried me.

Clementine was still babbling and I rolled over to see her cute little face staring at me through the rails of her crib. She was a good sleeper, but as soon as the sun came up, so did she.

Forcing myself out of bed, I took the few steps toward her. “Good morning, silly girl. You ready to get up?”

“Up,” she said, the strange environment not bothering her in the least.

I smiled at her. She was so easygoing. She was also parroting back more and more words. When I reached for her, she let out a loud cackle.

“She’s happy in the morning.” His voice was smooth like honey and made me shiver.

I turned with her in my arms to see Logan leaning against the doorframe with a cup of coffee in each hand. My pulse quickened at the mere sight of him. He was showered and dressed in another pair of black cargo pants and a long-sleeved white T-shirt. He looked rakishly rogue. My hands itched to glide under his clothes and touch his naked body. Such an odd feeling. His hair was still slightly damp and I remembered how soft it felt under my fingertips. I wanted to feel it again. He’d shaved, but I’d never forget how good his stubble felt against my skin. Really good.

Clementine reached for him and my heart fluttered.

She found him irresistible too.

Shaking the feeling off, I gave a slight laugh and told him, “I think she likes you.”

Logan strode my way with the swagger back in his step that had been missing last night when he left me in the bathroom. “You think?”

I reached for the cup of coffee he offered me. “You’re afraid of her.” It wasn’t a question. “You don’t have to be.”

He sipped from his cup. “I wouldn’t say I was afraid. It’s just that I’ve never been around babies.”

“I see.” I looked up and right into his eyes.

Out of nowhere, his lips pressed to mine.

The kiss he gave me was unexpected. It was sweet. I liked it. Clementine seemed to like it too, because she grabbed for his lips.

Shock tore through him and I had to laugh again as she twisted her fingers in his mouth.

Logan gently pulled them away. “She probably shouldn’t do that.” He wrinkled his nose. “You know, germs and all.”

I chewed on my lip to stop from laughing. There were two ways to look at it, after all, and I didn’t want to tell him but I was certain worse things had been in her hands.

He pointed his finger at me. “Don’t say it,” he said, grinning.

With a shrug, I set my coffee down and walked into the bathroom to grab the diaper bag.

“Does Clementine eat regular food?” he asked. “I ordered eggs, pancakes, and toast.”

I glanced over my shoulder. “Yes, she does. Let me change her and we’ll be right out.”

He nodded. “There’s a whole pot of hot coffee, too.”

I smiled at him. He smiled back. When I turned around with Clementine on my hip, he had just reached the door.

His smile widened when we appeared back in the bedroom and he gave a slight wave before walking out. It might have been for Clementine, but I returned it.

I don’t know why.

He slid his tongue around his lips in a heated response.