Authors: Aurora Whittet
“Grey, what you did . . .” Mund said.
“I’m not sorry for what I did,” Grey said.
“Let me finish. What you did was save her life. We weren’t there in time to protect her—you were. I am indebted to you. Please forgive me.” He quietly bowed his head to Grey. Grey put his free hand on Mund’s shoulder, a silent agreement between men, stronger than any verbal bond.
“Does your leg hurt much?” Gwyn asked.
Everyone started to fuss around me again, worried about my leg and my discomfort. “But Grey, what about your leg?” I asked in the midst of all the things they said.
“Is your leg broken too, Grey?” Baran asked. Our bond was even stronger now; Grey was able to feel my pain just as I was able to feel his. Though when it was happening, when my leg broke, he didn’t react or flinch with pain. Granted, my attention was briefly centered on my discomfort.
“It’s not bad,” Grey said. He shot me a dirty look. He seemed annoyed I had spilled his secret, but what was I supposed to do? He was in pain. We had to get him to a doctor to have his leg x-rayed and set. I wondered how he was able to carry me to the house with a broken leg—it must have been excruciatingly painful.
Baran reached down and felt Grey’s leg, feeling for the break. “It’s already healing,” he said. “Is that the wolf in you or the
Bloodsucker?”
His voice was leery.
It wasn’t human, and it was definitely not wolf. We had to shift into a wolf to feel the healing power of Old Mother’s love as our body repaired. It had to be his father’s presence in him. Some mutation in the Bloodsuckers, passed from one generation to another. I didn’t know enough about them as a breed to know what to expect, and Grey had never opened up to me about his father. He was still a mystery, even to me.
The pungent smell of fear filled the room like sour milk. Gwyn leaned slightly away from Grey instinctively. Everyone saw the small change in her body language, but the others remained perfectly still.
Bloodsucker
meant something so much deeper to our kind, sending chills down our spines. It flooded our memories with all the stories and legends of the inexorably cruel creatures. Yet here one sat, right in front of me, more beautiful than any of our kind, and I trusted him completely. I was inescapably in love with him.
He looked down at our hands. Was he ashamed of what he was? Still no one moved, but I sensed them all watching him. They wanted to trust him for all his chivalrous deeds, but the truth behind his nature was almost too much for them to understand.
Mund stood up. “It doesn’t matter how much of you is your father. You are one of us.” He patted Grey on the back, moved over toward the window, and stared out at the falling snow. His back was to us, but I knew he was listening.
“Thank you,” Grey said.
I felt somehow betrayed that Grey hadn’t discussed all these things about himself. He knew far more about me than he should, according to our laws. Why didn’t he feel safe to tell me about himself? I wanted to know. I
needed
to know.
“Grey,” I paused, choosing my words carefully. “What else can you do, besides heal?”
He watched my face carefully. I knew everyone was also intently listening, but I didn’t care what they heard or what they thought. I just needed to understand him. I needed to know him.
He spoke only to me. “I heal in minutes from most injuries, hours for near-death ones. I can run as fast as you. I can hear the sound of breaking skin. I can distinguish scents of familiar creatures for hundreds of miles . . . especially
you
,” he said with a smile, “and I suspected you weren’t human the moment I saw you.”
I felt my mouth fall agape as I stared up into his perfect face. He smiled.
“And I needed to be with you,” Grey said.
I smiled as he continued.
“I resisted my father’s training for almost ten years. I should have been taught and inducted into the hunters when I was eight, but something didn’t feel right about it. I knew he killed wolves. But I didn’t realize they were people too.” His voice broke as he spoke. “It wasn’t until the day in the forest when I saw you in the cage. I looked into your golden eyes, and I knew it wasn’t just wolves he hunted.
“Because I refused to take the oath, he couldn’t tell me about your kind. I thought he was just in some kind of weird hunting club with some very old-world traditions with medieval silver weapons. They drank the blood of the wolves, and he kept all their skulls, but I guess I always knew something else was different about the hunters and me. My eyes glowed in the dark, theirs didn’t. My strength surpassed that of everyone I knew, including my father. I could run faster than a human and most animals I raced. I learned, in time, to hide my imperfections from the world around me and from him. So no one would notice I was different.”
“How many Bloodsuckers are there?” Quinn asked.
Grey turned his attention to the others, as though he had forgotten they were in the room with us. “There are never more than eight. One leader, three masters, four offspring. No child can be inducted without the approval of the others.”
“Did they know what you were?” I said.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I didn’t know what I was, but I imagine they did.”
“Will your father come looking for you?” Tegan asked.
He shook his head. “Maybe, but I’d be more afraid if he didn’t . . .”
“Do you think he’d try to attack us?” Quinn asked.
“It’s possible—he is a murderer,” Grey said. A deep sadness settled on me, and I felt horrible for him. “I don’t trust him.”
“Why did you suspect I wasn’t human?” I interrupted.
“You were too wild for a human. It’s plainly in your eyes if you look for it. They are too deep; human eyes are dull. I knew something was truly startling about you, but I couldn’t understand what it was. It drew me to you night after night. I couldn’t leave you. I needed to be with you. I needed to protect you,” he said. “I just didn’t realize I was supposed to be protecting you from myself.”
The shame of what he said seemed to consume him. I could barely breathe at the sight of his sadness, but I gluttonously breathed him in again. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, and I knew now that I would never hurt him. I looked up at Baran as a shudder of pain shook through my tiny frame. My leg was still pulsing with pain.
“You need to heal,” Baran said, “and I think everyone needs time to think.” I could hear the sadness in his voice.
They all left Grey and me alone. I didn’t know what to say to him. I still had so many questions.
Grey followed me back up to my room. I knew he wanted to carry me, but I was determined to drag my own broken body despite the agonizing pain pulsing through my leg. The cold wind still whipped through the open window, a freezing reminder of what had occurred.
I closed my eyes and let the animal consume me. I felt it vibrate under my skin as I ripped through my clothes and shifted into a wolf. The pain instantly began to dissipate as Old Mother’s magic wove its way through my body. I blinked my golden eyes as I watched Grey through my true sight. It felt so good to be a wolf again. He knelt down in front of me and rubbed my fur between his fingers. The sensation was exquisite.
“You are more beautiful than any creature who walked the earth before you,” Grey said. “I knew you weren’t a human that day in the woods, and I loved you then, even if I didn’t know why. And I love you more now that I know who you are.” He wrapped his strong arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug.
He thought I was beautiful, even like this. It was more than I could have ever asked for. It made my heart swell with happiness. It felt as though the weight of a thousand worlds was being taken off my back. I needed him to not hate me for what I was. I couldn’t change who I was, nor would I want to. My leg stopped hurting as it finished healing, but how could I shift back with him here? I would be naked. If I had been able, I would have blushed at the thought, but my fur hid my embarrassment.
Tegan walked in the room with her silent, graceful footsteps. “Grey, dear, I need you to step out on the staircase for a moment, please.”
He did as she asked, and Tegan shut the door behind them. I could hear them clearly from the other side of the door as she explained that when I shifted back I would be naked. I also heard his heart respond as it raced with excitement. I loved knowing I had such an effect on him. While they talked, I quickly shifted back to my human form and dressed myself.
We all joined in Baran’s office to discuss the legends of Old Mother’s hunters, the Bloodsuckers. Only Baran had ever encountered one before and I only knew of the fables. Even Grey didn’t know anything about them, and he lived with one. The monster that raised him also killed his mother and wanted me dead. That had to be a heavy burden to carry.
Baran said, “When Quinn was just a babe, a Bloodsucker attacked the village. He cut the head off a wolf-child with his silver blade and drank its blood. The creature had no remorse. Nessa was running for the safety of the castle with Quinn, but he knocked them down and tried to rip Quinn from her arms. I heard her cries and leapt from the highest peak of the castle to save her. The fall broke both of my legs, but I was able to rip the Bloodsuckers’ throat from his body, killing him instantly. It is unforgivable to kill Old Mother’s humans, but I looked deep into his eyes, and this creature was no longer human. His soul was empty.”
As I listened to Baran’s story, I tried to find any part of Grey that was like those creatures, but Grey wasn’t a vicious murderer—though, to the Bloodsuckers, vicious murderers was all
we
were.
Baran didn’t enjoy the death of another creature, and this was no different. I could tell he was proud to have saved Mother and Quinn, but he was repelled by the idea of a human having to die at his hands. It left our souls heavy with the burden.
Christmas morning finally came, but not with a happiness any one of us could share. We were all scared. Though we still showered Nia with gifts and love, we opened presents in a sort of suspended happiness. The lightest change in the air could have changed everything. My first Christmas with Grey was tainted by fear, though we hadn’t seen Adomnan since the little boy died, but we made the best of the day.
Grey handed me a black box. “Merry Christmas, Ashling.”
I opened the box to find a delicate gold chain necklace with two green and gold leaves hidden inside. It was the necklace his mother had been wearing in the photo Baran had given him.
I ran my fingers over the beautiful leaves. “It’s lovely.”
“This was my mother’s. She always said she dreamed in color when she wore it,” he said. “It reminded me of you.”
I gathered my hair up on top my head as he took it from the box and placed it on my neck. His fingers lightly grazed my skin, causing me to catch my breath. Every time he touched me, my pulse raged.
“Thank you, Grey,” I said. “Now open my gift.”
I handed him a small wooden box; I had carved the Killian Bloodmark into the cover. He studied it for a while before finally opening the box. Inside I had carved the words,
My heart is yours
.
“It’s not much, but I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted you to have more.” I smiled.
He kissed me softly, his hand caressing my back. “It’s all I need.”
Baran said, “I am deeply thankful for this wonderful Christmas and Solstice with all of you. I am grateful to call you all my family.”
Tegan kissed Baran on the cheek. “It is a lovely Christmas.”
“We should end the year celebrating at the city’s New Year’s dance,” Gwyn said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mund said.
“Sure it is,” Gwyn said. “There will be far too many humans around for either Robert or Adomnan to threaten us. It would be a perfect way to get us out of the house safely.”
It was odd to think how the roles had reversed, that the humans now protected us, but it didn’t give me comfort. As much as I wanted to get out of this stuffy house, something urged me to stay home. I’d been to one dance, why were there so many?
“Are you sure it’s safe?” I said.
“If we don’t get out of this house, we will all be in more danger inside than out.” Quinn laughed. The last couple weeks had been unendingly stressful, and I think we were starting to get stir crazy. You can’t cage wild animals—eventually they will tear each other apart for sport.
Surprisingly, though, Grey seemed unaffected by the random outbursts from the others. He even wrestled with Mund and Quinn. His advanced healing allowed them to actually fight. It scared me to watch, so I rarely did.
“We will have to be cautious, but it is likely our only chance to leave the house until we can lure Adomnan into making a mistake,” Baran said.
“You dapper fellow!” Gwyn cooed, hugging Baran.
In the days leading up to the dance, Beth and Emma had both called to see if I were going. I had neglected them for a while. Not a great thing to do to my first friends, but it was for their own safety. Emma informed me it was semi-formal like homecoming and we needed new dresses. Tegan told me she had it under control.
On the day of the dance, I still hadn’t seen what Tegan had come up with for my dress, and it made me nervous. I also wondered what ugly hot-pink, glittery barf Lacey would wear this time. The visual of her in a barfed-up-Skittles dress brought a smile to my face.
“What’s with the evil smile?” Gwyn asked.
“Nothing,” I laughed nervously. I didn’t want to admit some of the human tendencies of catty girls had rubbed off on me.
“Tegan’s ready to show us what we’re wearing tonight,” Gwyn’s voice was filled with excitement. Tegan loved fashion, especially now that she was no longer required to wear antique satin dresses. I followed her into Tegan and Mund’s room. Tegan stood in front of three sheet-draped mannequins. She walked over to the far left mannequin.
“For you, Gwyn,” she said, putting her hand on the mannequin’s shoulder, “I have created a fantastic little dress in a silvery, winter-white fabric and an asymmetrical, ruffled collar.” She pulled the white sheet down, revealing exactly what she’d described and so much more. The fabric was lovely. I knew it was from her stash of exotics. It was a short, ruched dress with an amazingly showy ruffle at the neckline. The squeal from Gwyn was more than enough for everyone in the county to know she was happy with what she saw. It really was a perfect fit for Gwyn with its bold shape and design. Not many women could pull off a collar like that. Certainly not me. Tegan winked at me as she crossed over to the far right mannequin.