“No.”
“Just like that.”
“That’s right. Let me tell you something, Declan. I know you. Sure it’s only been a couple of weeks and those weeks haven’t exactly been a joy ride, but you’re a good man. You’re one of the best—if not
the
best—men I’ve ever known in my entire life.”
He shook his head. “Jill—”
“No, you have to listen to me. This”—I pointed at the folder—“means nothing. You’re different. You’re better than this.”
He looked at the folder, his expression bleak. “How can I be different or better when the proof is right there in front of us?”
“You can be different because anything else is unacceptable.”
His gaze snapped back to me. “So whatever you say goes, is that how you want to play this?”
“Pretty much.”
“And last night . . .”
“Last night was a little glitch.”
“I wouldn’t use the word
glitch
to describe what happened. I could have hurt you—I could have
killed
you.”
“But you didn’t. And I’m still here. I’m not running away because I believe in you. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I meant it, too. I’d never been a major optimist in my life, but one of us had to be. I had to find out what Matthias knew, how to fix this and make it so Declan could be different from the others. But I didn’t understand—if there was a way, why wasn’t it common knowledge to prevent disasters like the ones in the folder?
His expression tightened. “It might be a good idea if I left. Sorted through this on my own.”
The panic I felt deepened. “No. That’s a seriously bad idea.”
“You’ll be better off without me, Jill. And if you’re not going to leave, maybe I should.”
“No, Declan. Please—” My voice cracked. “Say you won’t leave me. Say you’ll stay with me no matter what.”
He was silent for a long moment, studying my face. “Why do you want me to stay?”
“Because I—” I swallowed hard. “I need you. I think I’d be lost without you.”
“I get the feeling that Matthias would be happy to help you find yourself if you let him.”
I glared at him. “Fuck Matthias. Seriously.”
That earned a full, deep laugh from him. “I think he’d like that, actually. Just try not to bleed around him.”
I was surprised how emotional I was getting over this. I prided myself on being fairly tough, considering everything that had happened. I might not have Declan’s muscles, but I was a survivor. I did what I had to do. But this had thrown me. It hadn’t occurred to me—even after the close call with Declan’s violent side last night—that he’d suggest leaving me. “Say it, Declan. Please. Say you’re not going to go anywhere.”
His Adam’s apple shifted as he swallowed hard and stared at me for a long moment. “Fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
I inhaled. “Promise me.”
“I promise.” He shook his head and a humorless smile played at his lips. “I’m all yours, come what may.”
I grinned shakily. “You and me till the end.”
“Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.” He drew closer to me, took my face between his hands, and looked deeply into my eyes. “You scared the shit out of me last night.”
“Bleeding from my eyeballs isn’t a very good sign, is it?”
“No, it sure the fuck isn’t.”
I wanted to touch him so badly, but I kept my hands at my sides. While I didn’t want to believe what he’d said—that being a dhampyr went hand in hand with what happened between us—I didn’t want to play with fire. I didn’t think the motel could take any more damage.
I frowned. “Did you say that one of the dhampyrs you found is still alive?”
“Yeah. It’s a female, too. She’s in her early thirties. An impressive age, given what I’ve recently learned.”
“Show me.”
He went to the file folder and sifted through the papers for a moment before he pulled one out. “The source I was talking to said she’s being kept at a vampire-run amusement park not too far from here.”
“Being kept?”
“As a prisoner.”
I drew in a breath. “How can you say that so calmly?”
“Which part? The dhampyr being kept against her will or the fact that there’s an amusement park run by vampires?”
“The first part. Although the second is equally as disturbing.” I looked at the handwritten piece of paper. Declan’s penmanship left a lot to be desired. Attached to the location and name, which was Jade Connolly, was a picture. “This is her?”
“According to my source.”
She was pretty, with freckles on her nose, and long flowing red hair. She didn’t look like much more than a teenager in this picture, so I figured it was probably taken at least ten years ago.
I chewed my bottom lip as I stared at the picture. “Wouldn’t she be in danger from the Amarantos Society? She’s female.”
“From what I’ve heard, the dhampyr must be less than two years old in order for the immortality ritual to work properly. Unlike Sara, she’s in no danger from them.”
I almost jumped right out of my skin when there was a sharp knock at the door. Declan pushed me behind him before he moved toward it, glancing out from the curtained window before opening the door.
“How did you know we were here?”
“Hey, Dec.” It was Noah’s familiar voice. “Great to see you, too. Lovely day today, isn’t it? Matthias told me where you two lovebirds were holed up.”
Declan opened the door wider so I could see Noah standing there wearing jeans and a tan T-shirt under a leather jacket.
“Jill!” He was smiling. “You look—well, uh, you look pretty good all things considered.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly. “I feel like a million bucks.”
He stepped into the room and glanced around at the damage and bloodstains. “Is this one of those theme motels ? Like this is the death and carnage room?”
I grimaced. “Not exactly.”
“Then I’m hoping you didn’t pay with a credit card because they are so going to charge the shit out of you if you did.”
I tried to keep my hope at seeing him from rising too much. “Have you found out anything about the Nightshade since last night? About Declan’s serum?”
His cheery expression faded. “I’ve been trying. Really. But I’m not having much luck. I’m sorry, Jill. It’s just that the parachemist who developed it didn’t keep any notes other than those in his head, which, of course, Declan put a bullet through. I downloaded the computer files and some email exchanges between him and Carson before I left the compound, but there’s nothing that I’m finding very helpful.”
I felt a fresh well of disappointment flow through me, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. “And what about Declan’s serum?”
“Same people developed it as his original dhampyr serum. Nothing nefarious there.”
“Forget about the serum,” Declan said. “Jill had an issue last night that’s very serious.”
“I know.” Noah grimaced and shot me a pitying look. “Matthias already told me about it. Bleeding eyeballs are not a good sign, like, ever. Looking into removing the Nightshade is a lost cause. It’s too late for that.”
“So what I do I do?” I asked. “Just give up?”
“No, don’t be ridiculous.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about this pretty much nonstop for the last week. I’ve decided the fusing potion is the best bet for your continuing survival. It’s what Dr. Gray said before the monster dhamp ate her.” He cringed and glanced at Declan, but he didn’t react at all to the mention of his birth mother’s violent demise. “I think if Jill takes a shot of it every two weeks like clockwork, it’ll keep things steady. I brought another vial of the fuser for you to keep in reserve.” He pulled it out of his pocket and placed it on the table. “Ta-da.”
I eyed it. So that was my Plan A. I’d been hoping for a nice and easy Plan B, but that hadn’t happened. Instead I’d met face-first with a brick wall. “I guess that’s that then.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.”
I shook my head and reached out to touch his arm. “I hoped for a miracle, but didn’t really expect it. This will have to do.”
I didn’t let on how I really felt. That he was wrong, that Dr. Gray was wrong, and that the fuser wouldn’t make much of a difference in the long run. My days were numbered. I didn’t know how I knew it for sure, but I did. This was only duct tape to bind together a rusty car that was steadily falling apart. A human couldn’t survive long with poisonous blood flowing through their veins. I was already living on borrowed time.
Noah looked at Declan. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to rip my head off.”
Declan snorted humorlessly. “I’ll try not to kill the messenger.”
“This messenger appreciates it.”
Declan’s eyes narrowed. “Didn’t realize how friendly you and Matthias were.”
Noah laughed nervously. “We’re not.”
“Friendlier than I thought,” Declan said pointedly, and Noah flinched.
Noah had been working as Matthias’s informant long before Declan knew anything about it. The news had not gone over very well. Declan had trusted Noah since he’d come onboard Carson’s research project and they’d forged a bit of a friendship. Declan didn’t trust easily—about as easily as I did—and when that trust was shattered, it was difficult to piece it together again.
“He’s dying, you know,” Noah said.
Declan’s flat expression didn’t change. “Can’t honestly say I’m too upset about that.”
“I know you don’t like the guy, but think about it, Dec. If Matthias bites it, then who’s going to stop Kristoff when he’s awakened?”
“I will.”
I looked at Declan. He hadn’t mentioned this to me before and I didn’t like the sound of it. “You’re going to stop an immortal, indestructible vampire.”
“Matthias did nearly thirty years ago. Even if he can’t be killed by normal means, I can find a way to lock him away again, and this time I’ll throw away the key.”
“Why don’t you just get him to bite Jill and then—” Noah began, but then stopped talking when he saw the unpleasant look on Declan’s face. “Oh, I see. You’ve already had this discussion, haven’t you?”
We’d had the discussion, all right. The one where Declan refused to let me even think about putting my neck on the line. And yet, here he was willing to do the exact same thing.
“How long do you think Matthias has?” My voice was tight. “He seemed to think it was only days. And he didn’t look so good.”
Noah shrugged. “No idea. Nightshade’s supposed to kill vamps right away, not give them a terminal illness.”
I walked over to the table, glancing at the file folder with all of Declan’s research in it. “Noah, what do you know about dhampyrs other than Declan?”
“A little. Not much. They’re rare. Like, really rare. And most of them are big, black-eyed monsters without the charming personality Dec has.”
If he was trying to break the icy feel in the room with some humor, he was failing miserably.
Declan moved toward me and grabbed the folder off the table. “I found another dhampyr nearby. A thirty-two-year-old female.”
“A female?” Noah brightened. “For real? Talk about a needle in a haystack.”
Declan glanced down at his notes. “The older the dhampyr is, the more unpredictable their violent natures become.”
“You’re worried about that?” Noah asked.
“The new serum isn’t working properly. There have been issues.” He didn’t look at me. “And I need to figure out a way to deal with them. And more serum isn’t the solution. I thought doing some research on others who’ve existed might help, but I haven’t found anything that I could use.” There was an edge of defeat to his voice that worried me.
No, he hadn’t found anything helpful. All he’d gathered was a pile of notes. Research material was great at giving an overview of a subject, but to really understand what was going on, he’d need to talk to one of the dhampyrs face-to-face.
I stood up from the table. “If Jade’s really being held prisoner at that vampire amusement park we need to rescue her. She could help us understand what’s happening to you.”
“You want to rescue her?”
“I’m surprised you don’t. If we talk to her, question her, she could help you figure out what to expect. Maybe she’s different from the others, which is why she’s still alive.” Suddenly it sounded like the best idea I’d had in a very long time. “Besides, no one should be kept anywhere against their will. Your informant said she was a prisoner there. Why would they be keeping her?”
“An adult female dhampyr?” Noah said. “Shit. A female her age has blood that can cure a vampire’s aches and pains and severe injuries. The female dhampyr has always been revered, almost like a goddess. Her blood is even painted the color of gold in some illustrations I’ve seen to show how valuable it is. Her blood wouldn’t be able to give actual immortality, but she’d be able to heal—” He stopped talking and looked at me. “She’d be able to heal
Matthias
.”