Authors: Kallysten
She wondered if he’d be there when
she came out of her chambers, guarding her door—and suddenly waiting even one
more second to see him was intolerable. She didn’t run, but it was a close
thing, and her hand was shaking when she opened the door to the hallway.
CHAPTER FIVE
Limits
A little less than half an hour
after Doril had left the chambers, the door opened again, and Dame Vivien
appeared. Aedan, who had been leaning back against the wall across from the
door, straightened up at once and gave a formal bow.
“Blessings, Dame Vivien.”
The look of expectation, or maybe
even hope on her features vanished, along with her smile. Aedan had no trouble
imagining that she’d thought she might find Bradan guarding her door. He
answered the question he was sure she would ask before she needed to voice it.
“Bradan is resting. We had a long
night.”
“Oh, of course.”
She stepped out of the chambers,
standing in front of Aedan rather than starting down the hallway.
“How is he?” she asked. “I mean…
He’s a vampire, I know that, but… His wound? Does he still… hurt?”
How strange that Aedan could still
be surprised at how little she knew of their world…
“He’s fine,” he said. “Vampires
heal fast. There’s barely a scar left.”
Had he been a vampire before
getting wounded, there wouldn’t even have been that much. But he’d been human,
and that scar would be the last one to mar his skin permanently, much like the
fang scars at the crook of Aedan’s neck, left there by his Maker when she had
turned him.
“I’m glad,” Dame Vivien murmured.
“I’m glad he’s fine. And glad you saved him.”
She was smiling when she finished.
It wasn’t often she granted Aedan a smile. He couldn’t think of any time when
he’d less deserved it. ‘Saved’ wasn’t the word he’d have used to describe what
he’d done to his brother. Still, he couldn’t say as much now, not to his dame.
To hide his discomfort, he offered another small bow.
“Where to, Dame Vivien?”
She gave him an eye roll before
starting down the hallway. Aedan followed, one step back and to the side.
“And we’re back to ‘Dame Vivien,’
I see,” she said with a sigh. “You called me Vivien yesterday. I didn’t mind,
you know.”
When he didn’t reply, she glanced
back at him. She expected an answer, but what could he tell her that he hadn’t
already said? He’d noticed how annoyed she became if he pointed out that
something wasn’t proper, and decided it’d be wiser not to use that term around
her.
“Yesterday, I was upset,” he
finally said, and the words came out with some difficulty. He didn’t like
admitting his own weaknesses. “I wasn’t thinking. I’d offer an apology for it,
but I know you would be more offended by the apology than you were by my slip
of the tongue.”
Her snort didn’t sound dame-like
in the slightest, but it was rather adorable.
“Well, at least you’ve got one
thing right,” she muttered.
They’d reached the first floor,
and with a shake of her head, she entered the library. Aedan, as he always did,
stopped at the door. She started to say something about Doril, but fell silent
when she realized he hadn’t followed her inside. She frowned as she considered
him.
“Why do you always do that?” she
asked. “You never come in unless I ask you to.” Her eyebrows shot up. “Can you
come in if I don’t ask you to? On Earth, there’s this thing about vampires. In
movies and stuff, they can’t enter a house unless someone invites them in. Is
it the same thing? Is that why…”
She’d been talking excitedly, but
her voice trailed off when Aedan shook his head. He wasn’t sure what ‘movies
and stuff’ meant, but she only had half of it right.
“It is correct that I can’t enter
a dwelling unless someone there has invited me to do so,” he explained. “But
once I am invited inside, I can go anywhere within. I’ve been trying to give
you privacy, Dame Vivien. You made it clear that you care little for my
company.”
Something passed through her eyes,
dark and sad, and Aedan had no idea what it meant. Had he offended her without
meaning to? Upset her in some way he didn’t understand? Discreetly, he sniffed
the air, but all he caught on her scent was the floral perfume of her soap.
“I don’t mind company,” she said,
stepping over to an armchair and sitting down. “I mind people trying to
manipulate me and telling me what to do. Not just you, people in general. Now
get in here and sit so we can talk.”
Getting in was easy enough, and
they had indeed a lot to talk about, but as for sitting… Aedan was about to say
he preferred to remain standing when he noticed how closely she was observing
him. Now might not be the time to insist on proprieties even more than he
already had.
He turned one of the armchairs by
the fireplace toward her and sat down, uncomfortable and stiff, yet glad when
she gave a nod of approval. In truth, sitting down was something of a relief.
Bradan wasn’t the only one who’d had a long night.
“All right,” she said. “First
things first. When Doril brought me breakfast, I used the Quickening to make
sure she’s loyal to me. I’m going to do the same thing with Elver, and from now
on anyone coming to work in the castle will have to prove to me they’re not
lying about their intentions. How does that sound?”
Aedan observed her, confused.
“Well, assuring yourself of your
people’s loyalty is a good thing, certainly, Dame Vivien. Especially since we
need to find you more guards. But I’m not sure what you mean when you say you
used the Quickening for that.”
In his mind, he could see Doril
walking out of the chambers again. She had seemed no different than when she
had first walked in, nor had she seemed hurt or upset in any way.
“It’s like… a lie detector,” Dame
Vivien, gesturing with one hand as though it would clarify her words. At
Aedan’s blank look, she grinned. “And that doesn’t help you one bit, seeing how
that’s an Earth thing. Okay, it works like this.”
She took a deep breath, and her
gaze changed, became more focused. Aedan had seen her look that way before when
she was channeling. As a vampire, he couldn’t see the Quickening flow out of
her, but he could imagine the color sparks surrounding her and magnifying her
beauty. He only had time to tell himself he envied Bradan for being able to see
that before he remembered: Bradan would never see her channel again.
What Aedan did see was what he
supposed to be the result of her channeling: a ball of white light hovering by
his shoulder.
“Tell me a lie,” Dame Vivien
demanded.
Aedan blinked, his gaze drifting
from the ball of light back to her.
“Dame Vivien?” he said, unsure
what she meant.
“Tell me a lie, and I’ll show you
how my trick works. Here. Why don’t you tell me you enjoy going to Earth?”
Still not certain what this was
all about, Aedan did as she asked.
“I enjoy going to the Otherworld.”
It was, as she had guessed, a lie.
Next to him, the ball of light turned bright red. She beamed.
“All right. Now say something
true.”
“Dame Vivien… I don’t understand.”
The color of the light shifted
from a bright red to deep green, and Aedan thought he might be starting to
understand. He observed the ball of light more closely, even raising a hand to
it. There was nothing there for him to touch, and his hand slipped right
through it.
“Red for a lie, green for the
truth, is that it?”
When he looked back at Dame
Vivien, concern flashed through him, and he sprung out of his chair. Sweat was
beading on her forehead, she was gripping the armrests of her chair, and her
heartbeat suddenly sounded strained.
“Release it,” he said, dropping
down to one knee in front of her. “Dame Vivien, it’s too much. Let it go or
you’ll hurt yourself.”
She didn’t seem to hear him,
however, and her eyes remained fixated behind him, on the light she was
channeling, he supposed. He’d seen people look like that before when too much
Quickening flowed through them, taking over their mind. It had happened to him,
too, once or twice, back when he was still learning, still growing into his
power, still testing his own limits.
Channeling too intensely wasn’t
dangerous per se, but it could leave her unable to use the Quickening for a few
hours, even a few days, and she couldn’t afford that.
“Look at me,” he said in a urgent
tone, laying his hand on top of hers on the armrest. “Vivien, look at me.”
He’d intended to break her focus,
but had not realized that, when she turned her gaze to him, she’d direct the
flow of Quickening toward him. He gasped as pure warmth seeped through him.
He’d felt this before, when she and Bradan had lain together, when love,
desire, and pleasure had flooded the bond he shared with his twin and brought
him to his knees.
A tiny part of him was glad he
already was on his knees. Another part reveled in the contact, as elusive as it
was: this time it was his, truly his, and not an echo of what belonged to his
brother. More than anything, though, he knew that he had to stop this. Stop
her. Now. Before he embarrassed himself in front of her. Before she realized
how deeply she affected him.
“Please, stop,” he said, and his
words were no more than a whisper. Of its own accord, his hand closed over
hers. Such a small touch when he wanted to feel all of her… “Vivien, please.”
And he didn’t know what he was
pleading for, didn’t even realize that he’d called her by only her name twice
already, didn’t know anything anymore except that she was the most beautiful
woman he’d ever met, the only woman he’d ever loved, and she was looking at him
as though seeing him for the first time, as though—
“Vivien? Aedan? What’s going on?”
Dame Vivien’s gaze lifted off
Aedan, and with it, the Quickening. All Aedan could do was watch as she
practically jumped to her feet, pulling her hand from under his and brushing
against him as she surged forward toward Bradan.
Fear flooded Aedan and washed away
every trace of desire. He stumbled to his feet, and turned in time to watch his
dame throw her arms around Bradan’s neck, much as she had the previous night.
Aedan ground his teeth, closed his fists, and moved closer, ready to intervene.
He’d meant to talk to her about
this, and try to explain how difficult it could be for a newly-turned vampire
to interact with humans, but it was too late now. What could he do? Pull her
away from Bradan?
No, he couldn’t lay a hand on her.
It wasn’t right for him to do so. He’d only touched her hand moments ago to
pull her out of her channeling. And his mind had been too jumbled to think
straight when he’d called her by her name. He had a grip on himself now, and
even the feelings of need and love transpiring through the bond didn’t distract
him. Nor did they conceal from him the hunger rising in Bradan.
When Bradan’s arms started to
close around their dame’s waist, Aedan cleared his throat, drawing Bradan’s
eyes to him. A deep frown and a quick shake of Aedan’s head were enough to
remind Bradan of what was proper—and more importantly, what was safe.
With a tense smile, Bradan took a
half step back. Reaching for Dame Vivien’s hands, he unwound them from around
his neck and held them in his, bringing each to his lips in turn to kiss her
knuckles.
“How are you?” Dame Vivien asked.
“Do you feel all right? Aedan said your wound is healed.”
Aedan felt a sting at her words.
Did she not believe him that she had to ask the same question to Bradan that
Aedan had already answered?
“I’m fine,” Bradan assured her. “I
should be asking you that. Were you channeling just now? You looked…”
His eyes flashed toward Aedan;
they were pure silver. There was no doubt in Aedan’s mind that the bond had
carried how much Dame Vivien’s channeling had affected him. Why else would
Bradan have walked in on them at that very moment?
“You looked like you were
channeling a large flow of Quickening,” Bradan finished.
“I was,” Dame Vivien said, then
interrupted herself and frowned. “Well, no, not at first, but something
happened. It was… weird.”
“Weird how?” Bradan asked.
He was still holding one of her
hands and drew her back to her chair before sitting across from her in the
chair Aedan had vacated. Aedan stood a step to the side, a slight discomfort
slithering over him that neither seemed to recall he was even there.
“I was doing this new trick I
thought of,” Dame Vivien said. “Like a lie detector, except with the Quickening
doing all the work. I got a bit lightheaded when I was doing it on Doril
earlier, but when I did it on Aedan, it was just so hard to keep it up. And
then I tried to stop channeling, and I couldn’t. It was like…” Her eyes flicked
toward Aedan. “Like the Quickening was holding me, instead of me holding the
Quickening. That doesn’t make any sense, does it?”
“Yes, it does,” Aedan replied
before Bradan could say a word. “It happens sometimes when a channeler
overextends their channeling. The more you practice, the more Quickening you’ll
be able to handle, but there’s always a limit. A point beyond which you can’t
step. And if you try, you lose your control over the Quickening. It flows
through you, undirected, until you either manage to release it or you exhaust
yourself and pass out.”
Bradan glanced at him, and a flare
of irritation surged through the bond. Aedan returned that look flatly; he
hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. What was up with Bradan?
“You never said that could
happen,” Dame Vivien told Bradan, and while there was no reproach in her voice
that Aedan could hear, a tiny frown furrowed her brow. “Is it dangerous? Can it
hurt me?”
“Not hurt,” Bradan assured her.
“It could exhaust you to the point that you can’t channel for a few days, but
that’s all. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t get to it. There’s so much I
needed to teach you; I had to start somewhere. What was it you said about a lie
detector?”