Blood Tears (38 page)

“
Why
are you so upset about him returning? I’m glad he’s there with me.
He’s been really supportive.”

“
Oh,
I bet he fucking has,” she growled.

“
Fiona, I don’t know what your problem is with the Sarge, and
I don’t care. All I care about now is trying to get on with my life
without Jake.”

Her gaze softened. “You
do that, Tessie. That’s the best thing for you to do.”

I turned to leave
again.

“
But
if Jake comes snivelling back to you, which I suspect he will
quicker than you can say lonely dick, then don’t even spare him a
second to listen. You tell him exactly where he can shove his
lonely dick, and it’s nowhere near you. He needs to fuck off fast
and fuck off far away from you. You hear me?”

“
I
hear you,” I said again, before leaving.

I rang the Sarge, and
joined him in the patrol car.

“
Do
you need another hug after that?” he asked.

“
No,
I just want to go home, please.” I couldn’t help the catch in my
voice, but I desperately needed to be alone.

“
Okay,” he said without another word. The only thing we said
to each other for the next ninety minutes was me thanking him for
dropping me off home.

Dad came rolling
towards me when I stepped inside.

“
What’s happening, Tessie? Jake turned up earlier and took all
his guitars. He didn’t say much, and I had the distinct impression
he was avoiding making any eye contact with me. He smelled like
he’d been drinking.”

My face crumpled
again.

“
Tessie, love. What’s going on?”

“
Jake
dumped me today,” I managed to say.

“
No,”
he said, shocked.

“
Afraid so, Dad.”

“
No.
That’s
not
how it happens. No Bycraft bastard does that to
my girl.” His fists clenched and his body tensed.

I squeezed his forearm
gently, worried he’d use up his precious energy stores in anger.
“It’s okay, Dad. I’ll deal with it. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

He stared at me with
tears in his eyes. “Come here.”

I went there and we
hugged tightly for a long time, both of us blinking away tears.

“
You’re going to meet someone worthy of you, Tessie. I mean
that. You’re a beautiful person in every way. And if most of the
stupid men in the world can’t realise that, then one smart man
will. And he’s going to end up with a real treasure.”

“
Dad,
don’t,” I said, not wanting any cheering up. “I’ll be okay. I’m
going to have a shower.”

“
Tessie . . .”

“
No
more, Dad. I’ll be fine, but please, just leave me be tonight.
Please.”

I took a shower, and as
the hot water hit my skin I sank down to the bath and curled up
into a ball, and cried my eyes out. And when my tears and the hot
water both ran out, I went to bed. I lay in the dark and rang my
friend, Marianne, listening to her comforting words, much as I had
after that traumatic breakup I’d had with my previous arsehole of a
boyfriend, Mitch.

Positive I’d have some
sort of nightmare, I slept the whole night through, waking at my
normal time.

I went through my usual
routine like a zombie, not really paying attention to anything. I
decided to jog as I always did, figuring some hard physical
activity would keep my mind from dwelling on what had happened
yesterday.

My mood reflected the
weather – grey, heavy, and threatening to rain at any minute. To my
surprise, the Sarge waited patiently for me at the gate. I hadn’t
had a regular jogging partner for a while, as Romi was often up
late at night studying and completing assignments in her final year
of high school. She was usually too tired to get up any earlier in
the morning than she needed to catch the bus to school in Big Town.
And now she’d finished high school, she was busy helping Abe in the
bistro every night.

“
Morning,” he said congenially, diplomatically ignoring my
miserable mood and red-rimmed eyes.

“
Hello,” I mumbled, not particularly wanting any company this
morning, and pretty sure I wouldn’t prove to be a good companion
either.

“
I
guess your jibes about my weight must have struck a nerve,” he
said, the casualness of his tone belying the intensity of his
scrutiny of me.

I stared at the ground,
kicking at the dirt. “It was rude of me to say that. I’m
sorry.”

“
Perhaps, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be
kind.”

We jogged off. I set a
cracking pace, determined to drive out the last vestiges of tears.
I refused to shed one more tear over Jake. I refused to let people
see how much he’d hurt me.

On our return, the
Sarge stretched his aching muscles, his face a bit red and
sweaty.

“
No
wonder you lost so much weight while I was away if you’ve been
running like that every day.”

“
Twice a day sometimes,” I said, doing some stretching
myself.

“
I
should have been more vigilant in keeping up my exercising while I
was overseas,” he rued.

“
That’s what holidays are for, isn’t it? Lazing around and
forgetting about your usual routine?” Not that I’d know – I didn’t
have any money for frivolous things like holidays. I glanced at him
briefly. “Do you want to stay for breakfast?”

“
If
it’s no imposition.”

I shrugged, not really
caring. “I have to make some anyway, so you might as well.”

“
Considering that gracious invitation, how could I possibly
say no?”

That brought the
tiniest little reluctant curve to my lips. “That’s me. Ms Gracious
in person.”

He laid a hand on my
shoulder, suddenly serious. “How are you today, Tessie?”

I shrugged again. “All
right, I suppose. I’ve had my big tearfest over it. Time to get on
with the rest of my life, right?”

“
Yep.
Best thing to do.” He eyed me for a moment. “You’re not going to
try to contact him? Talk it over?”

“
No,”
I said in a hard voice that surprised even me. “He made it pretty
clear yesterday he wanted to finish it. If he wants to talk about
it further, then he can contact me. Not that I’m guaranteeing I’ll
even want to talk to him if he does that.”

“
That’s the spirit.”

I laughed without
humour. “The funny thing is that everybody so far has said that I
can do better than him. The Super even said she was glad he dumped
me.” I laughed again. “It’s going to be awkward for everyone if we
ever get back together.”

His gaze was steadfast
on me. “I won’t change my opinion about what I said even if you do
reconcile, which I hope you don’t. You
do
deserve better
than a Bycraft, especially a married one.”

“
Thanks, Sarge. I think.” I blew out air. “I guess some people
are just fated to be unlucky in love. I’m one of them.”

“
Not
true. I can tell you’re going to have a wonderful
future.”

I laughed genuinely.
“There you go again – doing a Lavinia. I don’t know what you
learned when you were overseas, but it sounds fascinating.”

“
You’d be surprised what I learned when I was
overseas.”

“
Well, now you better come and learn what I’m making for
breakfast, or we’ll both be late for work.”

He kept the banter
light while we ate. It was just the two of us, as Dad didn’t make
an appearance. The Sarge waited patiently while I had a shower, and
made up a tray for Dad’s breakfast. I peeped in on him with concern
before I left the house. With a heavy ball of dread in my stomach
that we were rapidly coming to a crunch time with his illness, we
drove off to the station.

Chapter
26

“
What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked the Sarge when he
turned up after detouring to his place to get ready. I carefully
placed his cup of tea on his desk.

“
I
think we’ll just have a nice routine kind of day. We’ll catch up on
paperwork, walk the beat a bit later this morning, and perhaps do
some radar work this afternoon. How does that sound?”

“
Very
routine. Absolutely perfect.”

It was tranquil that
morning, both of us working industriously, with only a couple of
misdialled phone calls for the Saucy Sirens Gentlemen’s Club
breaking the peace. It was soothing and calm, and exactly what I
needed. The Sarge took the time to phone Dave to check on him. I
rang Mr X to see if they had any further information on Annabel’s
whereabouts, but he had nothing to report.

“
Okay,” the Sarge said as I crammed the last part of a Tim Tam
into my mouth, washing it down with the last sip of tea. “Now
you’ve finished stuffing your face, let’s go walk the
beat.”

“
I
wasn’t stuffing my face,” I said with chagrin, brushing a snowstorm
of crumbs off my shirt. “What a horrible thing to say. I was merely
having a little snack to keep my energy up.”

“
Little? I’ve seen smaller feasts at a medieval
banquet.”

“
Shut
up, you,” I said, throwing his cap to him. “Everyone knows
chocolate makes you feel better when you’re down.”

“
Then
you must now be the happiest woman in the world, judging by the
quantity of chocolate you just inhaled.”

“
You
know what?”

“
What?”

“
I’m
just remembering how nice it was here without you.”

He smiled, giving me a
little push towards the front door. “I’m sure you’ll also remember
that there weren’t any Tim Tams without me here either.”

“
Sadly true.”

“
I’m
still waiting for that ‘welcome back’ from you.”

“
Don’t hold your breath.”

“
I
know you missed me.”

“
I’ve
never said that.”

“
I’m
good at reading between the lines.”

“
You
keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

We strolled around the
town’s two main shopping streets, not in any particular hurry, and
not for any particular purpose. We used it as a way to raise our
profile, informally interact with the townsfolk, and assure them
that there was a police presence in Little Town, no matter how
inadequate we sometimes seemed against the overwhelming criminality
of the Bycraft horde.

Although nobody said
anything directly to me, I couldn’t fail to observe the sympathetic
faces and eyes turned towards me as we passed various townsfolk on
our meanderings. The news about Jake and me had obviously spread
far and wide.

“
I
hate that,” I said to the Sarge after enduring it for a
while.

“
Hate
what?”

“
People feeling sorry for me because Jake dumped
me.”

“
I
haven’t noticed anything like that. I think you’re being a bit
sensitive about it, Tessie.”

Just then, Lavinia
burst out of the pharmacy, almost quivering with excitement when
she clapped eyes on us.

“
Teresa Fuller,” she said breathlessly, her eyes
shining.

“
Lavinia,” I said neutrally, dreading what was
coming.

She stroked her fingers
up and down my arm, nearly having me reaching for my capsicum
spray. Instead, catching the Sarge’s censorious eye, I stepped
backwards out of her grasp.

“
So
sad,” she said. “Always so sad when love is broken, and lovers
separate. Whether they initiate it,” a lingering, discomfortingly
lustful, glance at the Sarge, “or are unfortunately the one let
go.”

Her eyes on me weren’t
filled with any kind of empathy, and I thought I detected almost a
hint of glee in their depths. She was relishing my unhappiness.

“
It
was written in the stars,” she continued. “There was no stopping
it.”

“
Excuse me?” asked the Sarge, bemused.

“
Astrology, Sergeant Maguire. It doesn’t lie to us. Teresa is
almost twenty-eight, the time of her Saturn return.”

“
My
Saturn
what
?” I asked.

“
It’s
the period in everyone’s life when Saturn returns to the exact spot
it was at the time of your birth. It usually comes around
twenty-seven years of age. Saturn is the planet of duty and
discipline. Saturn return can be a time of great pain and
challenges as a person transits from one stage of their life to
another.” She reached over and rested her hand on my arm again.
Once more, I tried not to flinch at her unwelcome touch. “You
really must let me do a reading soon, Teresa. I’m dying to find out
what’s in store for you in the future.”

I mumbled some
noncommittal response and hurried the Sarge along the street, not
wanting to engage with her any longer.

“
Did
you have a Saturn return, or do you think she just made all that up
to convince me to give in to a reading with her?” I asked
him.

“
I
don’t think she made it up. It sounded authentic. I mean, authentic
if you believe in astrology.” He thought for a moment. “I was about
twenty-eight or so when I met Melissa. I suppose that was kind of
life-changing.”

“
Do
you think I should let her give me a reading?”