Blood Soaked and Invaded - 02 (17 page)

“It’s what I know, Charlie.”

“Lover, it’s what you think you know.” Her arms hugged me tighter, and I could smell the dried bodily fluids that her opponents had left behind. “People have been defending their tribes, families and unborn babies since we came down from the trees. This isn’t any different.”

“But...”

“Frank, please don’t check out on me,” she said, cutting me off. “I need you.”

I held her when her tears started. That’s how we were when Shawn and Chunhua wandered into the store, looking for us.

“Did you hurt my little sister’s feelings?” I looked up into that wide country boy face and saw his concern for her, even if it didn’t show in his voice.

“Maybe, but I’m trying to make it right.”

“You’d better make sure you do.”

Chunhua came up and wrapped her arms around both of us. I guess she’s better at physical displays of affection than Shawn is... unless he’s drunk. “We brought the nanotech patch over from Bajali. That’s just an excuse, though. I really wanted to see you two.” She kissed Charlie on the cheek and smacked my ass.

“Did you smack his butt?”

“Yes. If it bothers you, I won’t ever do it again.”

“No, it’s okay if it’s you.” Charlie sniffled and pulled her head out of the crook of my neck. “Just do it harder, ‘cause most of his brain is back there.”

My jaw dropped. Chunhua laughed and smacked my rear a few more times, much harder.

“Owie!”

“That’s more like it, Chu,” Charlie said, having a laugh of her own. “You’ve got real natural talent!”

Shawn shook his head, hands on his hips, and said, “Dude, I’m going to pull your Caveman Club Card in a minute. This is conduct unbecoming of a Dude in Good Standing.”

“Just give us the patch so I can get dressed and keep random women away from my bare ass!” I stopped hugging Charlie so I could hold my towel tightly and protectively around my body.

“Already done, Spanky Butt!” Chunhua smiled, and her almond eyes completely disappeared in mirth. “All we needed to do was touch you. Bajali told us that the conversion should be almost instantaneous. The medical staff is so confident he’s right that they’re out without the biohazard gear on, helping move the bodies outside.”

Looking out towards the front of the store, I couldn’t imagine Dr. Bottsford and his troop of clones unshelled and wandering around. “I just can’t imagine it. Let me guess, though, the guards haven’t appeared in Hawaiian shirts. Right?”

“Nope,” Shawn said, shaking his head. “Which reminds me, I was going to ask if we could borrow your luxurious facilities to clean ourselves off?”

Charlie and I shared a quick flicker of eye contact, and I took the initiative to answer his question. “Well, I don’t mind, but the tub water is in need of a refill and it takes a while to get the heat up, too. If you can hang out, you’re more than welcome.”

Shawn and Chu did the exact brief eye contact thing Charlie and I did, but Shawn wasn’t the one to answer. “If you can show Shawn what he needs to do, I’d really love the chance to soak for a while. Please?”

Yeah, like I could have refused if I’d wanted to.

“Come on you big lug,” I said, grabbing his huge elbow. “I’ll show you how to make the tub pee and how to fill it up again.”

“Pee?” He looked a little uneasy.

“A turn of phrase, nothing more.” He followed me like a good Apprentice Bath Maker, even though I was only wearing a towel. Once we were out of easy earshot, I asked, “So. How is the blooming relationship?”

“Good, I think. Chunhua’s got a powerful personality.” I didn’t need to see him to know that he was scratching his blood-matted hair. I could hear it.

“From the look of things, that’s not unknown territory in your family.”

He snorted like a bull and cracked a smile. I returned it, and started my ofuro care and feeding tutorial. Unsurprisingly, he digested the information like a champ, and I wandered back to the doorway, confident he’d make me proud.

The womenfolk were still there, leaning against the wall, sharing a laugh about something I hadn’t heard. They gave me a quizzical look when I suddenly stopped and turned back to Shawn, who was observing the draining water.

“One thing, Shawn,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t spooge in my tub, or you’ll be building me a new one.” I turned around to find our respective partners laughing like madwomen. “I’m counting on you to be the mature one here, Chunhua.”

She replied when she caught her breath again. “You can count on me, Tub Master! I won’t let a drop hit the water!” She even went so far as to salute me.

“This is well. The Tub Master is satisfied.” I gestured grandly at Charlie, who giggled. “Come with me, my darling. Let us ascend to the upper floor that we may dress me in most excellent finery.”

“Indeed, good sir!”

We made the most of the silliness all the way up to my room, and received applause from our single admirer, down there in the spa doorway. Once we crossed that threshold, my leading lady gave me a huge hug and a delicious kiss to celebrate our standing ovation. I kicked the door closed, noting that I didn’t even remember anyone repairing it in the first place.

With Charlie in my arms it was an easy thing to put out of my mind.

“Say, we’ve not done anything vile recently,” I said, waggling my eyebrows at her.

“That’s true. Do you think we should?”

“I’m leaning in that direction. What do you think?”

“Hmm,” she replied, knitting her brows together in an entirely fetching manner. “The last time we had sex it might have knocked me up. On one hand ‘damage done’, but on the other hand, the nano-stuff might be throwing my period off and we’d be treading on thin ice.” Her face took on a different sort of seriousness than I’d seen before, almost clinical. “Unless you happen to have condoms around here somewhere.”

“Ah. No, I don’t.”

“Oh.” My heart fell in my chest and Don Quixote, who’d been monitoring the conversation, threw his earpiece down in frustration.

Both the Don and I were surprised when she grabbed us and kissed me with delightful ferocity. The Don stood up. This was a change for the better and he didn’t want to miss it. I understood his feelings, intimately, because I didn’t want to miss it either. It was a mite startling when she grabbed me by the back of my neck, though.

“Listen to me, Frankie the Telephone Pole, I am so frustrated we don’t have rubbery flak jackets around here that I’m about to scream.” I nodded at her, feeling every inch of my own angst on that topic. “But I owe you a little something from the last time we made love, and I’m eager to pay you back.”

“What.” Pant. “Do.” Drool. “You.” Pant. “Owe me?”

“Stick your tongue out.”

Lost in my hormones, I did as she required. A moment later, she sucked my tongue into her mouth and... sucked it. The French call orgasm “the little death,” and even the Japanese call it “going to heaven,” but nobody I know has this description: the little near-death experience. My brain coded out, and the Crotch Mariachi started rocking out to Led Zeppelin.

She pushed my ass up against my desk and made the towel disappear. It caught on certain anatomy as it was whisked away, but it didn’t do a thing to distract my attention from how she was working her way down my body, using her lips as locomotion. All I could think about was the fact I couldn’t think at all. I was feeling quite a few incredible sensations, though.

My darling dearest reached her destination.

“Oh. That.” I squeezed those words out while I had breath to use. Sometime later I whispered something that I hoped was indistinct enough for her to ignore. No such luck.

“Mmm. What did you say, mister?” She looked up at me with mirth-filled eyes and a wicked grin.

“Led Zeppelin,” I whispered.

“Oh?”

“Anything in particular?” She didn’t let the Don forget her presence as she interrogated me.

“Squeeze my lemon ‘til the juice runs down my leg,” I whispered, chagrined at my persistence of memory.

“Kinky!” She resumed her payback for our first time.

In the end I had a Franco-Japanese experience. When I could put words together again, I glared at her with mock consternation, and pushed her over on our bed pile. She didn’t resist at all, and by the time I was finished she’d had a few international good times of her own.

Lust is a grand thing.

I almost, almost, forgot about how we started the day and what we’d planned on doing. War and sex can make you forget about almost anything, just look at human history. Not to be undone, my brain would have to kick things back into the forefront.

“We never made it to talk to Jayashri about the ‘maybe pregnant’ thing,” I said to her from my comfortable position beside her, with my head on her thigh. “And I think my tummy is perturbed.”

She cursed with feeling and levered herself onto her elbows, disarranging my comfortable position in the process. “What do you want to do first, food, or deal with an unpleasant reality?”

“I want food, but I’m worried that something else will insert itself into our plans.”

“Eh, I can’t imagine what the fuck else could show up today.” She stretched, and so did her t-shirt. It was delightful. “Let’s head over to the dining hall-thing and rattle the larder. Ooo! Think they’ll have coffee? You wear me out, mister!”

“That’s funny! I’d say the same about you!”

We laughed at ourselves, rearranged and dressed to be presentable people, and headed down the stairs. I stopped about halfway down, and scooted back into our room to retrieve some potentially useful weapons. After the day we’d been having, I wasn’t about to trust Charlie’s imagination to keep us out of trouble.

Suitably attired, we struck off to Building Two, ignoring the sounds of fun in the spa. I didn’t have the mental or physical constitution to investigate. Charlie and I just made funny faces at one another and kept moving.

At least six, possibly more, houses had been demolished in order to build the school, gymnasium, mess hall and canteen that we called “Building Two.”

No one in the community has really complained about the local upgrades. In fact, no one ever complained about how civilized our neighborhood was in comparison to quite a bit of the world.

During the first year of the Emergency, most low to middle income inner city neighborhoods either imploded or exploded when the economy collapsed. There were food riots, gang warfare on an unprecedented scale, and crime like you wouldn’t believe. It eventually petered out, but for a while it was insane.

Outside of the cities, neighbors banded together and tried to share resources rather than hunt one another down like suburban wildlife; at least here, anyway. Speaking of suburban wildlife: we have more than our share. The local deer have gratefully repopulated the areas where people have disappeared... to say nothing of foxes, squirrels, coyotes, and the occasional wolf.

We were lucky in a lot of ways, not the least of which in that most of us were crafty or capable of learning crafts and trades that allowed for ease in bartering with other communities. Even before I moved into the hardware store these people were doing an excellent job of things, and were very capable of defending themselves against local gangs that were not interested in an economy based on barter.

I like to think that I added something to our local flavor, being a freelance zombie exterminator and all-around handyman. I know I added a little extra drama to everyone’s lives, especially over the past few months. It isn’t very often that you find out that your Pops is a zombie that wants to kill everyone you care about, after all.

With the interference… “assistance” if you will… of the Feds, we found ourselves living lives of luxury in comparison to other groups of people that we used to trade with before we were shut off from the rest of the world. Nate and Barbara were particularly happy to have the role of Educatrix Rex fall on the government. Wrangling kids in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested world was really more than two people should have to cope with.

Charlie and I wandered over to the Building Two, which had been built right across the street from Matt’s place. For a moment I paused, and looked for the tree that my brother had hid in when he tossed a shuriken at me to get my attention, but it was long gone... a casualty of progress. Appropriate, since he’d died not terribly long after he’d obtained the filial contact that he’d wanted.

Died.

I eviscerated him.

“The last time I was standing around here, Stu threw a shuriken at me to get my attention.” Charlie looked up at me, and I continued, “I eviscerated him and I don’t feel a damned thing about it. That really worries me.” At least I got the words out of my head.

“I think that would worry anyone, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you’re not experiencing some emotional shock from the last few hours. Tell you what? Let’s keep going and get some food in our bellies. How does that sound?” The look on her face was super perky, and I imagined that it meant that she really wanted something to eat. I nodded and we kept going.