Blood, Smoke and Mirrors (2010) (5 page)

"Sure, go right ahead," he drawled, smiling slightly. I resisted the urge to pour the coffee into his lap and refilled his cup.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was considerin' havin' some pie with my coffee." There was amusement in those dreamy light blue eyes of his, and I frowned. To my credit, I swallowed my temper and dutifully listed off the pies we had left. He picked apple. How all-American.

I disappeared into the back and Tybalt immediately knew something was wrong. He appeared at my side as I stabbed an innocent pie with a knife that was much too large for the job.

"Lex is in the dining room. Again."

"I can't kill him, we're on neutral ground," Tybalt apologized, and I laughed.

"That's true."

"I can spit in his food."

"No, thank you. Feel free to threaten him though."

After venting a little aggression on the pie, I set a non-mangled piece on a plate and carried it into the dining room. Tybalt followed and took the seat across from Lex as I delivered his slice of pie. Without a word I left them alone and headed back to my section to chat for a bit with the newlyweds, who caught me up on the neighborhood gossip. Apparently the city was still investigating the source of a power surge which had blown out the streetlights up and down Main. Oops. Well, that'd teach me for losing my temper. Finally I shooed them outside and began cleaning up their table. As I headed for the kitchen with their dishes I spotted Mac speaking with Lex and Tybalt, and I knew no good would come of that. When I returned to the dining room Mac was in the process of dimming the lights after flipping the sign in our window to "Closed".

"Something you want to share with me, Cat?" Mac asked from the other end of the room.

Hovering in the doorway, I looked pointedly in the direction of the guardian before turning toward my boss. "With you, sure."

Lex chuckled, and I glared at him. Those light blue eyes studied me over the rim of his coffee cup, and I felt something twist low in my gut, something that was certainly not the nervous flutter I'd been suffering from lately. Silently I berated myself for still being attracted to him. I knew better than to get giggly over a man who'd more than proved I couldn't trust him.

I marched over to his table and stared down at him, and he watched me with quiet curiosity. The unmistakable scent of magic wafted up from Lex, the odd mix I'd come to associate with him. A hint of cinnamon marked him as having faerie blood like myself, which could have indicated anything from witch to necromancer, but he was thankfully lacking in the awful rotting stench that clings to necros. There was a bit of the floral scent I associate with witchcraft, but there was also the musk of a shapeshifter and the sharp alcoholic tang of an alchemist--none of which should be found all together. Magicians don't mix and match their abilities--you're generally born to what you become--but guardians seem to have a bit of everything.

Guardians are essentially the magic police, but they're also like the border patrol too. Any otherworldly beings who decide to vacation in the human world and aren't supposed to--imps, goblins, demons, that sort of thing--get evicted by guardians. If a dragon decided to fly through downtown Chicago, it'd be a guardian's job to escort it back to Faerie, with extreme prejudice if need be. Just one of their many, many responsibilities. They are overworked, but not underpaid. The Higher Powers made sure guardians want for very little.

Placing my hands on my hips, I eyed him. "Why are you here?"

"You."

"Oh, be still my heart." Rolling my eyes, I dropped into the seat across from him and sat next to Tybalt. "To what do I owe the honor this time? Not under arrest, am I? Don't you have to at least let me commit the crime first?"

"You shouldn't have threatened Dorian, Cat," Lex replied.

"She wouldn't have to if the guardians had done their job and punished him for her mother's death," Tybalt countered.

"There wasn't enough evidence to prove that he was involved."

"There was enough for us, but your brethren wouldn't let us avenge Julia's death. There was no honor in that."

"I know, you're right," Lex agreed, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "Look, I'm not here to arrest you. I'm here to protect you."

"Protect her from what?" Mac asked, startled. He crossed the room and stood at the end of the booth, hovering over us. Lex leaned back into his seat and set his empty cup on the table. I reached into the pocket of my apron and pulled out my cigarettes--I had a feeling I was going to need them.

"Well to begin with, when I found out Maureen didn't have an heir, I started looking into who would step up as possible candidates. Imagine my surprise when your daddy, good ol' Dorian, put his hat in the ring. Now, personally, I don't want to work with Dorian, and I really don't want to work with the woman who holds his leash, which is why I have a vested interest in your health. And someone has to make sure you live long enough to take the tests, because it's bad form to kill a competitor between rounds."

"Glad to hear you're so concerned about my welfare," I said, lighting a smoke. "So where were you when I was stuck in a room with a dragon last night?"

"Dragons aren't your problem now."

"No?"

"Nope. The necromancer council put a price on your head. They want you dead in a bad way. In fact, there's two vamps across the street right now, waiting for you to step outside neutral ground."

Chapter Five

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse. This had to be part of the test, because it was certainly testing my patience, if not my sanity.

"There are two vampires outside, and they are here to kill me," I repeated numbly.

"Actually, there are five vampires outside, only two of them are across the street," Lex corrected, shrugging. "And they sure aren't here for the pie, fantastic though it might be." His nonchalance about my imminent demise was just a tad bit off-putting.

"Great, just great. Now what do we do?" I mumbled around the cigarette, fighting with my cheap lighter as it refused to light.

"Easy, we kill them first," Tybalt said matter-of-factly. "Five vampires should be no problem at all."

"You don't think that's a little extreme?"

"No. Those witches poisoned your mind with that 'do no harm' nonsense. You need to listen to your inner faerie more," Tybalt advised. "If anybody tries to kill you, you're allowed to kill them back."

"Geez, Tybalt." I'd forgotten how bloodthirsty faeries could be, because my cousins always seem so innocent with their game-show fascination and addiction to sweets.

"That's exactly why witches are the smallest percentage of the magician population," Mac intoned.

"No shit, Sherlock." Sad, but true, and I knew just how pathetic that fact was. Back in the olden days when hunters showed up to purge a town of magical influence, witches always held fast to their oath to harm none and refused to fight back. Better a martyr than a murderer, in their opinion--which of course was the very reason I'd been outcast.

Even though I wasn't ready to throw in the towel and let the vamps get me just yet, I wasn't ready to let Tybalt dash outside and slay them all either. There had to be a better way, a plan that would allow me to get around them with no killing involved, even if they more than likely deserved it. Life is a cycle, a great wheel that turns throughout time: we are born, we live, we die, and (if we are lucky) we are reborn again. Vampires take themselves out of nature's cycle, jamming a hypothetical spike in the spokes to stop the wheel from turning. Their souls are tied to a body stuck in a sort of suspended animation, fueled by the blood of living magicians, and all the while gathering up more bad karma. I don't know much about the underworld--the place where the restless dead reside--but I do know horrible things happen to vampires when they die. The things your worst nightmares are made of.

Becoming a vampire doesn't make a person evil. They become one because they already are. And now every vamp in the tri-state area was gunning for me. Great.

"So, what's the plan?"

"When you're ready, I walk you home."

"That's it?" Sounded too simple to be true.

"That's it." Lex nodded. The man was as blase about the subject as though there were angry Chihuahuas outside planning to nip at my ankles, instead of a posse of vampires waiting to turn me into a magical pinata.

"Huh. Well I guess I better finish cleaning up then." I slid out of the booth, and Mac looked at me, sadness in his eyes. His expression alone nearly broke my heart, and I swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in my throat.

"You don't have to clean up, Cat. I can handle it," Mac offered.

I did my best to give him an encouraging smile and shook my head. "I've seen you clean. It's better if I do it. Won't take me very long. Just give me a few minutes. Do you want more coffee while you wait?" I asked Lex, in my very best customer-service-first voice.

"Sure, Cat." He smiled, and I looked to my cousin.

"Okay. Tybalt, get Lex coffee."

I turned and walked away. Mac coughed, sounding as though he was swallowing a laugh, and I picked up a half-full bin of dirty dishes. Hefting the weight, I headed back into the kitchen, and Mac followed. I set the bin next to the sink and started to empty it.

"Of all the cafes in all the world, he walks into mine. Again."

"Well, at least he's one of the best," Mac said. "He comes from a long line of guardians. There's Duquesnes across the whole country."

"Yeah, I know." I began placing dishes into the washer. I'd only met one member of Lex's family, but I'd heard a bit about the rest of them. Besides, I didn't need to know about his family history to know the Duquesnes were model guardians--Lex'd already proved that one when he'd turned me in to the witches' council. Takes a special kind of devotion to duty to turn your girlfriend over to the firing squad.

"Exactly what did you do to piss the vamps off this badly?"

"Oh, a little of this, little of that." I waved a hand dismissively. "Swore vengeance on my father in a faerie mound while invoking the Lord and Lady."

Mac snorted in amusement. "Nice one, Cat."

"I'm nothing if not creative."

I headed out to the dining room and went about the rest of my routine--clearing, cleaning and getting the cafe back to its pristine glory. While concentrating on the music playing through the overhead speakers, I almost managed to ignore the guardian drinking coffee and the certain death that waited outside, lurking in the shadows my own stupidity had caused when I'd blown out the streetlights. See what losing your temper gets you, kiddies?

As I worked I hummed along with the music until I recognized the song--"This Kiss" by Faith Hill. I stopped so suddenly I nearly tripped over my own feet, and then ignored the guardian's stifled chuckle as I tried to regain my dignity. With a full bin of dishes I retreated into the safety of the kitchen, and when I returned I found Lex and Tybalt enthralled with their battle plans. I almost felt bad for the vampires outside. Almost.

Despite being distracted by his discussion, I felt Lex's eyes on me as I moved through the room. Usually men only watch me when they're wondering where their order is, or if they want their check. I assumed Lex was trying to gauge how useful I'd be in a fight, which is not much. Sure, I own a sword and a few knives, but they are forbidden from drawing anyone's blood but my own (and really, I didn't want to be encouraging my own blood loss in the middle of a fight). I also have been through a few self-defense training courses, but that knowledge would do jack against a vampire. They're just about indestructible, as long as they're well fed. Stab 'em, they keep on coming. Shoot them. Run them over with a car. Drop an anvil on their head.

Okay maybe not the anvil, but as long as their heart isn't completely destroyed or their head severed, vampires just keep coming back for more. It's really damn unfair, and the horror-film solutions for vamp slaying don't do a damn thing. Garlic? Uh, no. Silver? Please, they drape themselves in it since it looks so wonderful with their all-black wardrobes. Sunlight? Unless they get burned red like a tomato with fangs, it's not going to slow them down much. Which leaves us with wooden stakes. Really, any kind of stake (not steak, stake, the difference is important) would work if you managed to totally obliterate the heart in one shot. The tough part is hitting that one shot right on, and the wood does help if you're looking for a lovely splintering effect to do maximum damage.

In short, if you should find yourself in a fight against a vampire, you are really right and proper fucked.

The thought was less than comforting to me.

When my tasks were finished I popped into Mac's office to say goodbye. He did his best to look encouraging as he gave me a hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

"Blessed be, Cat."

"Thanks, Mac. Are you still leaving tomorrow for the conference in D.C.?" There was a big librarian get-together he was going to. I wasn't sure what librarians did when they had a conference. Maybe they all sat in the same room and read spellbooks, or had lectures on the finer points of casting anti-dust wards.

"Yeah."

"Have a good trip and a safe flight. Maybe I'll already be Titania by the time you get back," I joked.

"Maybe. I can get you a snow globe of the White House as a congrats gift," he offered.

"Sure." I smiled. "Love you, hon."

"Love you too. Good luck."

I headed back into the dining room. "I'm ready," I proclaimed, and Lex nodded. "So, what's the plan?"

"I doubt they'll leave quietly, so Tybalt and I are goin' to convince them to let us alone. After they've lost a few limbs they'll get the message and clear out."

I wrinkled my nose at the thought of severed dead-people parts.

"Are you sure we can't just kill them?" Tybalt asked, sounding disappointed.

"Nah, that'd just end up in too much paperwork." Lex shook his head and slid out of the booth. I'd forgotten how tall he was. I'm on the tallish side, so I don't encounter a lot of people taller than me. He was wearing all black as usual, from his steel-toed boots to his jeans to his plain cotton T-shirt and long duster. No one wears a jacket in June in Illinois unless we're experiencing one of our more freakish weather patterns, so I was willing to bet there was more than muscular arms and a tight butt under that duster.

I scolded myself for wondering about the state of Lex's posterior and then shrugged. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Nope. When we step outside, you shield yourself and don't distract us."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Great." Excellent plan. It was simple, easy to remember. Probably stupid as all get out, but hey, he's the professional, right? I'm just the target. "Sure you don't want to duck out the back?"

"They won't learn anything that way. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

"Right." I motioned toward the door. "After you, gentlemen."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I hugged my arms to my chest as my shields snapped into place. It was a globe of safety that moved with me, but also made it harder to maneuver, like walking through water. I did my best not to be terrified out of my wits as I walked through the door of the Three Willows. There were no less than five vampires out there waiting for me in the dark, ready to tear me apart and bleed me dry, just as they had my mother and Maureen, two women who were by all accounts much stronger and more knowledgeable about their arts than I. The door shut behind me, and I shivered with fear. I was outside neutral ground. I was fair game.

"C'mon, let's go," Lex said. I obeyed, following behind him. He turned in the direction of my apartment, thankfully, and I hurried to keep up. It's damn hard to move and shield at the same time, and because it takes a lot of concentration it slowed me down.

The silence frightened me the most. A Saturday night in the city should be louder, full of urban noises like cars and cell phones and televisions, but here there was nothing, not even the rumble of an approaching train on the tracks. A slight breeze brushed my face and I caught the scent of vampire magic. It's a peculiar but memorable scent, the smell of the last dying ember clinging to a candle's wick, refusing to be snuffed. Really, that's all vampires are, that last spark of life clinging like hell to this world, terrified to give in to what lies beyond. I knew that smell all too well, remembering how it had mixed with the fear and death in my mother's house, and I panicked. Something squealed high and hideous just out of arm's length, and I turned as a small, skinny woman recoiled away from me, her pale hands smoking where they had touched my shield. Glaring at me from beneath her black bangs, she hissed and snarled something that was either incoherent or a completely foreign language, possibly both, and launched herself at me again. The woman bounced off my shield and was thrown backwards like she'd leapt onto a trampoline, a much louder electric sizzle scorching the air.

"Not real bright, are ya?" I smirked, suddenly feeling much braver than I had any right to be. A small crowd of vampires circled around us, and a quick count revealed a few more than we'd expected, nine attackers in total.

"They really aren't the smartest breed, cousin," Tybalt commented. The faerie brushed his disguised white-blond hair out of his face and eyed the mob.

"Settle down now," Lex warned them. "This woman is under my protection, so you'd better head on home."

"You said there were only five."

"There are," he replied. "The rest are just necromancers."

"Oh great, I feel so much better now."

"Go on, get out of here," the guardian repeated to the crowd, as though scolding a disobedient puppy. They ignored him.

"Step aside, Duquesne, you have no business here," said the vamp who'd bounced off my shields. The overly goth outfit she wore made me wonder if the vampires had lowered their standards for membership. She would blend in perfectly with the late-night Denny's crowd. It was damn hard to take her seriously.

"Now, Merrideth, I just told you that this young lady is under my protection, so if you and your people don't turn around and walk away, we're going to have a problem." Lex slipped his hands into his duster, reaching for whatever weapons he had concealed beneath it and sending a clear message to the crowd that he meant business.

"Maybe I should kill one, Duquesne, just to set an example," Tybalt suggested.

"Don't even think about it, Silverleaf. Just cut 'em off at the knees, that's always fun."

Apparently they took offense to that idea, and without another word they attacked, moving in a dark blur that was hard to see. As the vampires swarmed him Lex drew his weapons in a quick flash of bright metal, swinging a short sword in each hand. Guess that answered the question of why wear a long black coat in June, because swords were a tad hard to conceal without it. The guardian moved with inhuman speed as the fight boiled into the street. I couldn't spot how he was wounding them, but I smelled the stale scent of vampire blood in the humid night air.

Tybalt's rapier appeared in his hand and his clever human disguise vanished as he abandoned all pretense of hiding his true nature. The vampires around him hissed in surprise, and he launched himself at them, moving in a dark blue blur I couldn't follow. I felt pretty useless inside of my safe little bubble, but there wasn't anything I could do to help. I wasn't trained as a fighter, and thanks to my witch upbringing I didn't know any offensive spells. Best I could do was hurl harsh language.