Blood of the White Witch (33 page)

He was really gone.

I let the silent tears fall.

Chapter 25

My dad had used his government contacts to
procure us a private jet to fly home in the next morning.

A body bag had arrived with the car that
would take us to the airport. I thought my heart was going to fall
out of my chest when I watched my dad pull the zipper up over the
face of my sweet husband.

I was completely numb from head to toe now,
running in robotic mode, while I sat next to the wooden casket that
had been waiting for us on the plane. Thankfully, my family had the
coffin placed at the far end of the plane and not in the cargo
area. I was able to sit there next to it, by myself, alone with my
thoughts.

I had run over the events of the previous
night in my mind many times. The one thing that continued to stand
out to me was the fact that Vance’s demon attributes had come to
the surface after he had been stabbed. We had been so sure he had
been cured from that.

I brought the subject up with my Grandma
later that evening, wondering why it had happened. She didn’t
really have any answers for me, but she reminded me that we never
really knew what had happened with him. We all just assumed that he
had been completely healed somehow.

I guessed that we were stupid to have
thought that would be the case. After all, he had been fed demon
blood again while we were staying with Douglas and Fiona. And
surely having had the strength to perform a demon kiss on his
father must have meant something. Not only was he able to perform
the kiss, but he also assimilated all of Damien’s powers, as well
as those that Damien had stolen from other people. Maybe the reason
he stopped having withdrawals after performing the kiss was just
because the demon side of him was being fed something it needed
from the transfer. He had complained to me on several separate
occasions about the difficulty he had been having over controlling
his emotions.

I sighed heavily, glancing up the aisle a
few rows to where Krista was still sleeping heavily. Whatever drug
Douglas and Fiona had used on her was certainly taking a long time
to wear off. She hadn’t even moved a muscle, didn’t even know that
her son had died trying to save her.

I was not looking forward to having to tell
her about it, yet at the same time I was hoping she might hold some
of the answers to my questions. Not that any of it mattered.
Answers were not going to bring him back to me.

I felt a little queasy suddenly, and I
realized that I hadn’t eaten anything yet today. My mind instantly
went to the day when I had gotten sick and Vance was sure I was
pregnant. I would give anything to be pregnant right now, just so I
could have a little piece of him with me still. I knew that wasn’t
the case, though, since he had been very careful to make sure it
didn’t happen.

I stood up and walked down the aisle to
where a tray of fruits had been set on the side board.

“Getting an appetite back?” my mom asked me
casually when I reached out for an apple.

“No,” I said. “I’m just starting to feel a
little bit sick right now.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?” she
asked me with a concerned look crossing her features.

“No, Mom,” I said, and I took a bite. “I’ll
be fine,” I added, over my mouthful of the crisp fruit, and I made
my way back toward the rear of the plane, thinking I would never be
fine again and that the painful ache I was feeling would always be
with me.

I stopped to check on the sleeping Krista,
before I made my way back to Vance’s casket. I sat down and placed
my free hand on the surface that covered his mortal remains.

I must have finally fallen asleep after I
finished my apple because when I awoke, it was to find we were on
final descent into New York for refueling. The tears popped
instantly into my eyes when I remembered the last time I had been
here was on the first day of Vance’s and my honeymoon.

“Are you okay?” Shelly’s voice asked, and
she slid quickly into the seat beside me, buckling her belt.

“Is it ever going to get any easier?” I
asked, looking her in the eyes, the tears streaming quietly down my
face.

“I honestly don’t know,” she replied
reaching over to hold my hand. “I’ve never had to experience
anything like this before.”

“I just keep thinking about how he told me
that he wanted us to be together forever, beyond this life and into
the next. He told me he couldn’t believe that a just God, who could
create the universe, would send us here without some type of plan
for us. I can’t seem to find the justice in this, though. Look at
all we’ve been through so we could have a life together, and this
is how it’s supposed to end? I can’t accept this,” I said searching
her eyes for answers that I knew she couldn’t possibly have.

“I don’t know why things happened this way,
Portia,” she responded honestly. “But I do know one thing, and that
is the fact that Vance loved you with every fiber of his being.
Most people on this earth will never get to experience the kind of
love that he had for you or you for him. You should treasure it as
a great gift, even though it was a short one.”

“I will treasure it always. It’s the only
thing I have left of him,” I replied solemnly. “He told me once, if
he were to die before me, that he’d be waiting for me to join him
on the other side.” I laughed in disgust at the thought. “Do you
realize that could be centuries from now? I’m going to outlive all
of you! I couldn’t die if I tried! I am stuck here in mortality.
Not only do I have to live without the love of my life, I’ll
eventually lose all of you, too. You’ll have the chance to see
Vance long before I ever will.”

I could tell she didn’t know what to say to
me, so she just laid her head on my shoulder.

“I really am sorry, Portia,” she said, the
tears welling in her eyes. “I loved him, too.”

“I know you did,” I replied, reaching out
and squeezing her hand tightly, and she turned her palm up so she
could lace her fingers with mine. “We all did.”

We sat in silence, and the plane touched
down and taxied off the runway. When we were at a complete stop,
Dad unbuckled his belt and came back to check on us.

“You doing okay back here?” he asked,
looking at both of us. “Do you want to get off the plane while we
refuel and stretch your legs a bit? Some of the others are going
to.”

“I’ll be fine,” I replied, not wanting to
leave Vance or Krista on the plane by themselves. “You go ahead,” I
said to Shelly when I looked down the aisle. “It looks like Brad is
waiting for you.”

“I can stay with you,” she replied.

“No, go ahead. I’m fine,” I said, trying to
reassure her.

She squeezed my hand one more time before
letting go and moving past me to go meet Brad.

“Portia, why don’t you go, too?” Dad asked
with concern. “I’ll stay here with Vance and Krista.”

“Dad,” I began, and my chin quivered
slightly, “there are only going to be a few more moments in my life
that I’m going to be able to physically be next to him. I don’t
want to squander one minute of it. Please … I need to stay.”

“I understand, Pumpkin,” he said, pursing
his lips together for a second before he reached out to pat my leg.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me, all right?”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said, attempting to smile,
though I really didn’t feel like doing such a thing at all.

Thirty minutes later, everyone was
re-boarded and we were ready to take off again. After we were
airborne, Brad unbuckled his belt and came back toward me, carrying
something bulky under his arm.

“Here. I thought you might like this,” he
said, and he glanced quickly toward the casket next to me,
swallowing as though he had a large lump in his throat.

He was holding out a fluffy pillow wrapped
in a blanket.

“Thank you, Brad. This looks really comfy,”
I replied reaching out for them, and he placed them in my
hands.

He kept standing there for a few awkward
moments, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat.

I waited patiently since I could see he had
something he was trying to say.

“He was ….” He clenched his jaw hard, trying
to control his emotion. “He was my best friend.”

“I know.” I smiled slightly, and my lips
trembled at his comment. “He felt the same about you, too.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,” he said,
pursing his lips together.

I just looked into his glassy eyes and
nodded. “It was his choice, Brad. There was nothing any of us could
do about it,” I reminded him.

“But I don’t know what I can do to help
you,” he said, and a single tear finally made its way over the edge
of his eye.

“You’re already doing it,” I said, reaching
out to take his hand.

He leaned in then to give me a full bear
hug. “Love you, Portia,” he said quickly before straightening and
walking briskly away.

“Love you too, Brad,” I whispered quietly
under my breath.

I watched him walk away, back to join Shelly
before I undid my seatbelt and lay across the adjoining seats. I
placed the pillow under my head while cuddling up with the blanket,
and then I closed my eyes, letting sleep claim me almost
instantly.

I dreamed this time. I was standing alone in
my purple field of flowers, and I twirled around looking for Vance,
but he wasn’t there. I sank to my knees, held my head in my hands
and sobbed.

The last words I ever heard him say echoed
over and over again in my mind.

“I love you, Portia. I’m sorry. I love you,
Portia. I’m sorry. I love you, Portia. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t take this anymore!” I screamed at
the top of my lungs in my dream. “Stop it! Stop it!”

Still the words kept coming.

“I love you, Portia. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m…Portia, help me.”

I bolted awake, straight up in my seat,
staring at the casket in front of me. I hopped out of my chair and
quickly knelt beside it, throwing the lid open to grab the zippered
bag inside.

“What’s going on?” my dad yelled, and he
raced back toward me right when I yanked the zipper of the bag
downward.

“He was calling me!” I shouted, and I moved
the bag away from his face with trembling hands.

I sat back when his plainly deceased face
came into my view.

“He was calling me!” I said in a choked
whisper, and I placed my arms around my waist in an attempt to stop
the shaking.

My dad dropped to his knees and pulled me
into his embrace.

“It was just a dream, Pumpkin. I’m sorry. It
was just a dream.”

I buried my head into his chest and sobbed
loudly, not caring who could hear me.

“I can’t do this, Daddy,” I cried, and my
mom came to join us at my side. “I can’t live without him.”

The hearse was there waiting for us at the
airport when we landed. Dad, Brad, the pilot, and the man from the
mortuary who had come onboard, carried Vance’s casket off the
plane. I followed numbly behind them, and we stepped onto the
tarmac, into the hot July air of Sedona, Arizona.

There was a gurney at the bottom of the
steps, and Vance’s temporary casket was placed on that and then
rolled over to the back of the funeral vehicle. The gurney was then
collapsed, and the entire unit was slid into the back of the
car.

“Thank you for your help,” my dad said,
reaching out to shake the attendant’s hand.

“No problem, Mr. Mullins. We’ll take care of
everything from here,” he replied.

“I do have one request,” Dad spoke up again.
“We already know what the cause of death was, so we’d like to ask
that you do not perform an autopsy.”

“Not a problem, sir. We already received an
official fax from the coroner saying that an autopsy was not
necessary,” the man replied.

“Wonderful,” my dad said. “Also because of
our religious beliefs, we ask that the body not be embalmed
either.”

“I’ll be sure that’s added into the notes,
although it seems as if I remember that request already being on
there,” he replied.

“That’s good,” Dad said. “We’ll be in touch
with you over the final funeral arrangements soon.”

I stood rooted to my spot while I watched
the car carry Vance away from me and out of my sight.

My dad didn’t rush me, instead waiting
patiently beside me until I turned to go toward the waiting
vehicle.

“A coroner never examined the body,” I
stated while we walked toward the car together.

“I know,” he replied with a sigh. “I pulled
a few strings. We don’t know if Vance’s demon DNA might have
brought up unusual results in an autopsy. We figured it was best to
bypass it.”

He opened the door to the waiting SUV,
allowing me to climb in the front next to him. Everyone else was
already inside.

“We need to have the funeral as soon as
possible, Portia,” he added as he started the vehicle.

“Why?” I asked, not even wanting to think
about it.

“Because we aren’t embalming the body. He
will …,” he glanced apologetically at me, “decay much faster.”

I felt physically ill at the thought.

“Of course, we’ll help you with anything you
need,” he offered.

“I don’t think we should plan anything until
Krista wakes up,” I replied, running a hand through my hair. “He’s
her only child, and he died trying to save her. She needs to be
involved in this, too.”

“You’re right,” he said. “Hopefully she’ll
be awake before too long.”

“Don’t rush her into this hell,” I responded
softly. “Let her be blissfully unaware for as long as she possibly
can be.”

We drove unspeaking through town, and my
eyes couldn’t help but notice all the places that held memories of
Vance for me. It became too overwhelming for me, and I finally had
to close my eyes against the sight until we pulled up at our
house.