Blood of the Guardian (36 page)

“She had need.”

Emery’s stupor fell. His head jerked toward Rikar, rage spilling from his emotions like torrential rain. “She is my wife. Shouldn’t
I
be the one who decides her needs?”

“Of course. But obviously, you were not. I saw an opportunity to help.”

Greer dove toward him again. This time, Emery did nothing to stop him. Greer hammered Rikar squarely in the face.

The Guardian’s head flew back. Then Greer was on him again, grabbing Rikar’s breastplate. With a yell, he tossed him. Rikar soared, crashing into the wall.

The walls shook—which explained the noises earlier. But the Guardian metal, which lined the walls, stood firm. No wonder Greer had brought him here. He could beat the light out of him without causing as much of a scene.

Nolan should step in and help … somehow. But crows! Rikar acted as if taking another man’s wife was the right thing. Nolan didn’t
want
to stop Greer.

Greer tossed him again; this time, the Guardian’s large body slid across the floor, plowing the shards of the table with him.

Rikar lay on the floor, panting. Shimmering blood dripped from his nose and pooled on the floor. Nolan shuddered, thinking of the gypsy camp. The silver blood, which also held light, was the very thing that had saved Nolan’s life.

Rikar wiped his nose with his arm, leaving a metallic smear. Then his eyes flared brighter with his Guardian light, and the flow stopped.

“You are right, Greer,” Rikar said. “I am ill.” He turned to Emery. “Forgive me, Your Majesty. I truly meant no harm. She is already with child and could not possibly be in danger from me.”

Emery leaned against the wall with the weight of his head in his hand. His whole body trembled. “So what do I tell my wife? What do I tell a woman who, only a few months ago, was ravished by Alcandor? Do I tell her another Guardian deceived her? Do I tell her that, once again, a Guardian tried to manipulate her into bed?”

“Alcandor’s child?” Rikar blinked back shock. “Indeed, I am in the wrong.”

“Indeed.” Emery turned toward the door, then hesitated. “If you ever touch my wife again, you will find yourself in a cell next to Alcandor.” With his red cloak billowing like a flower in bloom, he strode from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Nolan stared at the closed door. What had Rikar done? Of all the people for him to try to seduce, he’d chosen Megan? He exhaled slowly. It explained some of Emery’s troubles, although Nolan wished he hadn’t found out this way.

Emery’s problems ebbed away in Nolan’s mind, and the realization of his own seeped into their place. He was alone with the Guardians; nothing held him back from discovering the truth. He stiffened, feeling both sets of Guardian eyes on him.

“I will leave you two alone,” Greer said, his voice hard. “I brought you here for this reason, Rikar; so once you finish, you can leave and never return again.”

Nolan opened his mouth, willing Greer to stay.

Greer must’ve sensed his anxiety, because he placed a large hand on his shoulder. “All will be well, Master Nolan. If you need to speak to me after, you know where to find me.”

And then he turned and left.

The wooden table and chairs lay strewn across the room, broken in so many pieces it no longer resembled the grand furniture it had once been. Only a single chair survived Greer’s wrath. Rikar picked it up from where it lay on its side, brushed splinters off the seat, and motioned for Nolan to sit.

Nolan hesitated, and then he took the chair. It groaned, protesting Nolan’s weight.

Rikar stood before him, hands laced behind his back. He walked across the room and returned, seeming to focus on the floor under his feet. Finally, he turned to Nolan, white eyes meeting his. “I am truly sorry for what happened to your mother. I take full responsibility.”

Nolan’s vision blurred, blood pounding in his brain. He slumped forward, resting his arms on his legs.

A large hand appeared on his shoulder. “Are you all right, son?”

Nolan jumped to his feet, and the chair fell backward. “Don’t call me that.”

Rikar pressed his lips in a tight line. “I understand.”

“Do you?” he said. “How can you understand? How can you go to these women, knowing you could kill them? You
killed
my mother!”

Rikar flinched, shame oozing from his emotions like thick sludge. “Not until we spoke at the gypsy camp did I know what happened to your mother. It saddens me greatly. She was a kind and gentle woman.”

“And yet you killed her.”

“Your father … or her husband, I should say … spent much time at the brothels. He chased quite a few women, giving none of his affections to your mother. And still, she loved him.

“I had not gone to Galva to seek women—I never search. But while there, I sensed your mother’s despair. The more I observed the situation, the more I assumed I could bring her happiness by allowing her to believe her husband still cared.”

Nolan jabbed a hand into his hair. He didn’t want to believe, but Rikar’s description of the father he knew sounded far too familiar.

“She was a lovely woman, Nolan,” he said. “I spent three days with her, which was dangerous for me, to linger so long. I left as soon as I felt myself getting attached. Which is why discovering what I did to her … ” He inhaled slowly. “As I said before, the news of her passing saddens me greatly.”

He was … attached? Nolan shook his head. He wondered if the Guardian cared more for her than her own husband had.

“I … am not … well.” Rikar bowed his head, black hair hanging in his face. “Women are a weakness. I try to be careful, find a time when they are incapable of producing. But on a rare occasion, I make a mistake. Until tonight, I have refrained from being with any women for ten years.”

Rikar studied him, his white eyes inquisitive. “I realize you find me disgusting. But your existence brings me unfathomable joy. Guardians do not have children. You are the first.”

“And Jezebelle?” Nolan snapped.

Rikar blinked. “I am as surprised as you are regarding her transformation.”

“So … she’s not yours?”

“As far as the gypsy’s parentage, I cannot answer. I will investigate further, discover the identity of her mother. It is possible, I suppose. And if she is, it brings to light many questions.”

Meaning Rikar wondered how many more children he had.

Silence hovered, the walls blocking even a whisper from outside the room.

Rikar released a long sigh. “I am ashamed of my life and my irresponsible choices. There are times I wish to rid the world of my presence, once and for all. But the moments when I do successfully help mankind drive me to continue—such as saving your life at the gypsy encampment. If I were to leave this world now, I could do so with a small glimmer of satisfaction. Your life came from my faults, but I never imagined a nobler outcome.

“And although you may understandably hate me—for what I have done, and what I most likely will continue to do—I will always take pride in your creation. You are the one, and only, good thing to come from my existence.”

Nolan stared at the Guardian who stood before him, so open, so vulnerable. In many ways, he was the most human Guardian he knew. His heart was good, even with his ignorant and misguided intentions when it came to women. And as much as Rikar’s actions disgusted him, Nolan did
not
hate him. He just couldn’t.

Rikar’s broad shoulders relaxed. More than likely, he’d been reading Nolan’s mind, trying to judge his reaction.

Nolan gritted his teeth. “Just because I don’t hate you, doesn’t mean everything is okay.”

Rikar nodded. “Understood.”

“I’ll need some time and distance to think.”

“I will give you as much time as you wish. I would even understand if you would never wish to see me again.”

He did like Rikar. And he’d saved Nolan’s life. But this new truth was more than he could handle right now—especially with the potential war, his life being at risk, and his whole self-perception dramatically changing. Nolan groaned. “I want to see you again … just not now.”

A smile touched Rikar’s mouth. “Then we
will
meet again.”

***

Rikar left with a bow, leaving Nolan alone. After a few minutes of standing buried in his thoughts, and the rubble of the destroyed conference room, Nolan went back to his quarters.

The sun was already setting, casting his room in dim shadows. He shivered, approached the fireplace, and grabbed a log. He froze when his Perception focused on another presence, another heartbeat and breath. He wasn’t alone.

A person sat concealed in the corner. Slowly, Nolan pulled a spike from his arm. Flaring his Speed, he whipped around but stopped just before the metal point left his hand.

“Emery?”

Emery placed a finger to his lips and motioned Nolan closer.

Nolan replaced the spike and tugged the blanket off his bed. Hugging it over his shoulders, he slid down the wall next to Emery. The fire would have to wait.

“I’m sorry to surprise you,” Emery said.

“I nearly tossed a spike at your head.” Nolan drew on his Perception, allowing the dimness of his room to fade.

“I should’ve said something,” Emery said, “especially with all you’ve been through. It’s just hard to find time alone.”

Obviously, the Rol’dan would want to protect him. “They’ll find you eventually, you know. They’re probably searching for you now.”

Emery wrapped his arms around himself. “I know.”

Nolan sighed, adjusting his position on the floor. Not that he didn’t want to be there for Emery, but his mind already ached from his talk with Rikar. He cleared his throat. “Did you talk to Megan yet?”

“No. Not yet. Have no idea what I’m going to say.”

“How about the truth?”

Emery scowled. “That a Guardian tried to ravish her
again
?”

It wouldn’t be an easy conversation, especially with a topic so sensitive to Emery. But still, Megan deserved to know. “She’ll take the news better than you think. She’s strong.”

“She is,” Emery said. “Far stronger than I am. But talking to her about this event might start … other conversations.”

A pair of soldiers walked by, their laughter fading as they continued down the hall. Nolan’s and Emery’s eyes met. It was almost like playing a game of hide and seek.

Emery lowered his voice to a whisper. “I think what bothers me most is that Rikar could see, in a single moment, how much I neglect her. Telling Megan about the Guardian will only confirm my faults.”

“Your faults? Does she even know what happened to you in the Rol’dan?”

Emery gave a slight nod. “She knows vaguely.”

Nolan rubbed his temple. He wanted to be here for his friend, but crows. He really had his own problems right now. At this point, Emery should’ve been talking to Megan, not crouched in Nolan’s room hiding from the whole Rol’dan army.

Nolan released a long sigh. “You’ve lied to her about how you feel. Haven’t even told her what her pregnancy can do to her. And you are hiding in my room instead of talking to her about Rikar. You worry about neglecting her without bothering to tell her why. She’s your
wife
. Why are you talking to me? She’s the one you should be talking to. Just tell her everything.”
And go away, and leave me alone.

Emery scowled. “I agree about the baby. I’ve been planning on telling her but haven’t quite figured out how. I suppose this incident with Rikar would be a good introduction.

“But, concerning my past and what I should or shouldn’t share … ” Emery continued. “You are a wise young man, Nolan. But sometimes things aren’t so black and white.”

“She’s been through the same thing. She’d understand. Besides, Rikar visited her because you’ve been ignoring her, right? Your past seems to be the root of a lot of issues between you two. She’d feel better if she knew you were only trying to protect her—”

“That’s the problem, Nolan. I haven’t been protecting her. My avoidance isn’t noble, by any means. We haven’t, because … ” Emery studied his hand, twirling the wedding band on his finger. “It’s because I’m afraid.”

A quick knock sounded at Nolan’s door. It opened before Nolan could even stand.

“Nolan.” Kael held up a lantern. “We can’t find—” His eyes dropped to Emery. He cleared his throat. “Your Majesty. We have news.”

“News?” Emery asked, standing. “Of the Talasians or the gypsies?”

“The Talasians. Their fleet is nearly at our doors.”

Chapter Thirty-Five

“HOW LONG UNTIL THEY GET HERE?” Alec chucked the apple into the air, caught it, and flung it again.

“One week, they’re guessing.”

“One week! Hopefully, I’ll be out of this nightforsaken bed by then.”

Nolan was wondering the same thing about himself. Would he be strong enough to fight the Talasian army if he had to, or would he be lying in bed like Alec, helpless and frail? Would he have enough Shay light to last until they arrive? Maybe he’d even be dead by then.