Blood Moon (Entangled Select Otherworld) (5 page)

Chapter Seven

Nadya

The second his lips brushed mine, my pulse raced, and somewhere deep inside of me the wolf growled. I wasn’t sure how I understood her, but she made her intent crystal clear.

Gareth was ours.

A tidal wave of passion, shock, and possession swamped my senses as I ran my hands up his chest and around his neck. He held me tight, but it still wasn’t close enough. I parted my lips, my tongue twining urgently with his. Any fear I’d had earlier about my body not responding evaporated. Every part of me wanted him. Now.

My fingers tightened in the back of his hair and he moaned into the kiss. My pulse skyrocketed, heat smoldering low in my belly. We had on way too many clothes. This was the passion I yearned for. If my time on earth came to a close soon, I wanted to wallow in desire, to feel as alive as possible.

Gareth made me feel invincible.

He pressed me against the wall, parting my legs with his knee, bringing our bodies even closer together. His erection rubbed me, rock hard through his jeans. I slid my hand down his chest and around his waist, then lower, encouraging his hips forward, closer.

Suddenly he broke the kiss, resting his forehead on mine while we gasped for air. His pupils dilated and narrowed, his nostrils flared, and I started to smile. “Wow… That was amazing.”

Gareth shook his head like he was just waking up, and then he backed away. His emotions were gone, boxed up so far from me that my empathic abilities were no help.

“This can’t be happening.”

“Excuse me?” I straightened, hoping my rubbery legs would hold me up.

He raked his fingers through his black hair, pulling it back from his face. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” Talk about a cold shower. “You lost me. What just happened?”

He finally met my eyes and although his feelings were hidden, the raw pain in his gaze was impossible to miss. “You are so damned beautiful, Nadya.” He yanked off one leather glove and caressed my cheek with his warm hand. His touch was tender, in stark contrast to the tense line of his jaw, the agony in his eyes. “Promise me something.”

I swallowed my own knotted emotions. “Okay.”

“Don’t keep secrets from Jason. He’s your best chance to beat the poison in your veins.” His hand dropped from my skin and already I yearned for his touch. “This is so fucking unfair.”

He hurled his leather glove across the room like a missile, and it collided with a picture on top of the television. The frame toppled over. I flinched as the glass shattered, but the noise didn’t even phase him. Gareth paced the room, snatching his glove up off the floor without righting the picture. Every few seconds I’d get a glimpse of emotions I didn’t understand. Rage, passion, worry, yearning, and fear. Lots of fear.

“Gareth, talk to me. You’re not making any sense.”

He rubbed his hands down his face and turned toward the window. “I thought I had a chance to start over with a clean slate.”

“You still do.”

He glanced over his shoulder with a sad smirk. “I wish.”

He took a deep breath and slowly turned around. I stared into his eyes, wishing he’d open his heart to me. His passion had been there. He’d wanted me as much as I’d wanted him. Did he worry he’d hurt me? My gift was no help to me at the moment. Being clueless sucked.

Gareth came closer and brushed a chaste kiss to my forehead. “I’ve lost everyone, sweetheart. I can’t stay here and lose you, too. I wish I was strong enough, but losing Gabe broke me. I can’t do this again. I won’t.” He went to the door and stopped. His voice lowered, gravelly with emotions he refused to share. “You should have a mate who can stare into the abyss and tell it to fuck off. Stay with Jason and stay alive. You don’t deserve this. Any of it. And you definitely deserve better than me.”

He closed the door behind him and I sank onto the couch, trying to figure out why my heart tore in half. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and my mind reeled. I’d only known Gareth for a couple of months. Tonight was the most we’d ever spoken, and the first time we’d ever touched.

So why did it feel like my whole world just collapsed?

…

The door opened behind me. I didn’t even look to see who came in.

“Why is the door unlocked?”

Sasha.

“Nadya, you’re still up? Are you all right?”

I nodded, my voice nowhere to be found.

She sat beside me, her concern and worry flooding my already raw nerves. “You are not.”

Pulling me into her arms, her comfort broke the dam on another wave of tears. I sobbed.

Sasha ran her hand down the back of my hair. “Are you injured?”

“No.” My voice hiccupped.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

I sniffled, struggling to find words. What could I say? None of this made sense. “Gareth.”

She stiffened and then pulled away, brushing my hair back from my face. “Was he here? Did he hurt you?”

“He’s gone.”

She glanced around and nodded. “I can see that. Did you get in a fight?”

“I don’t know what it was.” I wiped my nose. “But he’s gone, and I can’t…” More tears spilled down my cheeks and I rolled my eyes. “Something inside me is off. Or broken. It shouldn’t hurt like this, but I can’t make it stop.”

“I’ll get you some tea and we can talk, okay?”

“He said…” I struggled to keep my voice from hitching with sobs. “He said I deserve better than him. A mate. I don’t know…”

Sasha froze and turned around slowly. “Did he touch you? Like skin-to-skin touching.”

Even though I was hysterical and unable to stop crying, her question seemed odd to me. “Why?”

“I don’t believe this.” She tone hardened. “He touched you and he ran.”

“What?” I swallowed and took a breath. “It wasn’t like that.”

Sasha sighed, her expression softening. “Nadya, you’re a werewolf now. You’ve got a new instinct humans don’t have.”

“The rip-your-heart-in-two instinct?” I wiped my eyes.

“No.” She pulled out her cell phone. “I’m calling Aren. He’ll explain it better than I can. Just try to rest and I’ll make tea.”

Aren showed up a few minutes later. My sister’s fiance was like the big brother I’d never had. He was overprotective and usually pretty good at making me smile, but tonight that seemed like an impossible quest.

The second he came through the door, I read his worry and his anger. If someone didn’t start explaining what was happening soon, my head was going to explode. He sat in the chair across from me, resting his forearms on his thighs as he leaned in close.

“Hey, Nadya. Sash said Gareth was here and maybe you touched him…”

I laughed through my tears. Apparently I’d been wrong about the impossible quest after all. “Why does it feel like you’re trying to give me the awkward birds and the bees talk?”

He shifted in his chair and leaned back. “Not birds and the bees. We’re talking werewolves and mates.”

“Like you and Sasha.”

He gave me a half-hearted nod. “Sorta. Sash isn’t a werewolf so she doesn’t have the same instincts as we do.”

I sniffled and wiped my nose. “Please speak English.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “When you touched his skin, did you feel anything?”

Did I ever.
I cleared my throat. “Like…”

“It’s hard for me to put into words, but when you touch your mate, you just know. Your body comes alive and the wolf inside will tell you. The moment your skin comes into contact with theirs, your wolf imprints on its mate. And although the human in you might think it knows better, I’m learning the wolf’s instinct is smarter than we think.”

Sasha came up behind his chair, rubbing his shoulders. “Even when your wolf chooses someone who shot and Tazed you.”

He smiled up at her. “Water under the bridge.” Both of them looked at me and Aren asked again. “Did you feel anything when you touched Gareth?”

I nodded slowly. “Pupils dilating, heart palpitating, and somehow I thought the wolf inside me told me he was ours.”

Aren shot out of his seat. A muscle in his cheek jumped with tension. “He felt it too and instead of explaining it, he ran. I’ll drag him back here by his damned ear if I have to.”

My mind reeled. My mate. Wolves mated for life. That meant I was Gareth’s one love.

And I was dying.

Finally I understood the rage and pain and worry I’d seen in his eyes. The knowledge didn’t ease the physical ache, but at least the weeping and my heart wrenching in two weren’t signs of my impending insanity. My wolf was mourning.

Rejected by her one mate for life.

Aren got up, but I caught his wrist. “He’s gone.” Saying the words out loud was like jamming another dagger into my heart. “He’s left the Pack.”

His eyes widened. “What? Since when?”

“He has a buyer for Takoda. He’s moving to Colorado. His plan was to leave tomorrow night, but after this fiasco, I’d bet money he’s halfway to the Rockies by now.”

“He was just going to leave town without saying anything?” Aren stared out the window. “I’m getting married next week. He told me he’d be there.”

“He’s been hurting since Gabe’s murder.” For some reason I couldn’t stop myself from protecting the man who just broke my heart. Wolf instincts were stronger than I’d ever realized. “He thinks you know who did it, and you’re letting them get away with it.”

Aren didn’t say anything, but the wave of guilt was all the answer I needed. “Oh God.” I stood up, relieved my legs had regained some strength. “You
do
know who killed Gabe.”

Sasha looked at her feet. My jaw went slack. “You both know and you’re not going to do anything about it.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Gabe was a member of the Pack. I thought you were supposed to be there for each other. How can you look the other way when Gareth has lost the last member of his family?”

Sasha shook her head, but didn’t meet my eyes. “It’s complicated. When Gabe was killed, things were different. The guy who did it is our best intel on Nero. Without him on the inside, the Pack would be vulnerable.”

“Must be some incredible secrets to be worth a member of the family.” I crossed my arms, grateful to feel anger instead of heartbreak.

Aren sat down and looked up at me, giving me the dominant position, pleading to the wolf inside me. “Believe me, I’d kill that bastard in a heartbeat if it would bring Gabe back, but it wouldn’t, and we’d also have a tougher time protecting Malcolm and Madeleine from Nero. Adam and Lana’s children are the first ever born to an unbitten female. Lana’s parents were part of a breeding experiment at Nero. She carries the shifter gene just like males. Her daughter inherited it, too. Madeleine is a female shifter without being bitten. This makes them valuable.” He sighed. “Gabe is gone. We need to be sure we don’t lose anyone else.”

My head swam with the new information about the twins, but my heart was doing the talking. “Too late. Now you’ve lost Gareth.” Saying his name hurt all over again, but no tsunami of tears. Progress. Sort of.

“I’ll bring his ass back to Reno. He knew what was happening. You’re his mate and he left you here like this. Not okay.”

“No.” For the first time since Gareth walked out the door, my voice didn’t crack or waver. “You didn’t see his eyes.” Tears welled up again and I cleared my throat. “I’m dying, Aren. He’s
my
mate, too, and
I
won’t put him through that.”

Sasha pressed her lips together hard, but her tidal wave of denial was inescapable.

“You’re not dying. You already survived your first shift. Jason’s going to figure this out.”

“How long until I’m shifting without the full moon?” I clenched my fists, keeping my resolve. “Not long after that I’ll be fighting bouts of paranoia and rage until my brain finally hemorrhages. That will hurt him.”

Sasha wiped a stray tear and came to me, taking my hands in hers. “Then you know what you should do?” She squeezed my fingers. “Fight like hell to live. I’ll be right beside you holding you up when you need a shoulder to lean on.”

Aren sighed, shaking his head. “Your
mate
should be beside you.”

My hackles went up. “His Pack shouldn’t keep secrets from him.”

“If he knew the identity of Gabe’s murderer, Gareth would kill him.” Aren finally met my eyes. “It sucks, but we need this guy alive right now.”

“Well before you start judging my mate, you should take a long hard look in the mirror.”

Aren raised a brow. “Gareth doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re right.” Another tear rolled down my cheek. “He deserves someone he can grow old with.”

Chapter Eight

Gareth

I arrived at the garage without any idea how I got there. My mind looped from the surge of passion to the painful realization I couldn’t stand by her while she faded away. Each time I replayed the night in my head, the bitterness grew.

Hadn’t I lost enough loved ones for one lifetime?

Nadya was my mate. The wolf inside of me recognized her immediately, the second my lips touched hers, my one love, the other half of my soul. She was the most beautiful, fun, intelligent, and interesting woman I’d ever met. Jesus, she even made me smile a couple times. Other than Gabe, no one else had ever had that kind of effect on me. And that kiss. Shit, I’d been with plenty of women over the years, and not a single one rocked my world like Nadya just did, and we had all our clothes on.

She was also dying. Un-fucking-believable. Every instinct inside of me demanded I run back to her side, to protect her. But my instincts didn’t understand. I’d never be able to save her from the mutated werewolf DNA already ravaging her body.

And if fate thought she could stab me in the heart one more time, she had another thing coming.

I rolled Gabe’s bike inside the garage and went into the office for my duffle. I’d text Russ to let him know that there was a change in my plans. He could FedEx the escrow docs to me. I couldn’t stick around. It was only a matter of time before Adam heard I was leaving. Walking away from Nadya had been the toughest thing I’d ever done. I didn’t have the strength left to deny my Alpha.

After a final look around my garage, I swung my leg over my ’65 Electra Glide and started the engine. If I hit the road now, I could grab a few hours’ sleep in a hotel room in Utah and be in Durango by tomorrow night.

Colorado would be a new start. I had enough savings to make it for a few months until the escrow closed and then I’d open a new shop in Durango. I ground my teeth to keep from screaming. I couldn’t get Nadya out of my head and concern for her safety made it tough for me to focus on anything else. The wolf didn’t want me to run without a fight.

But if there was one thing I excelled at, it was fighting, and right now, I was fighting my wolf with everything I had.

…

I rolled into Salt Lake City just after the sunrise, exhausted and punchy. The wolf did not enjoy riding several hours in the wrong direction from my mate. He didn’t understand Nadya was far from mine. Besides, after my exit last night, it was safe to say she probably never wanted to see me again.

Motel 6 left a light on for me. I sat on the edge of the bed, my head pounding. It was hard to tell if the pain was from my wolf aching for his mate, the onslaught of lingering scents of previous guests in this room, or exhaustion. Maybe it was all of the above.

I welcomed the pain. It gave me something to focus on instead of wondering if Nadya was safe, and hating myself for hurting her. Hopefully, she called Jason and told him about her episode in the shower. He’d let Adam know someone needed to watch her. He’d better.

Maybe the pain wasn’t distracting me as much as I thought.

Russ sent a text saying the deal was moving forward. I’d have documents to sign by the end of the week. The news should have lifted my spirits. One step closer to a new life in Colorado.

But kissing Nadya, tasting her lips and feeling her body respond to mine, recognizing her as my mate, it all scrambled everything I thought I had worked out. I’d been so close to escaping my past, but the sadness in her eyes had been my undoing. I took her to Pyramid Lake, told her things I’d never shared with another person.

Any man would be lucky to have her in his life. But I didn’t deserve her. She should be with someone like Jason. He had his act together, made a good living, and he was pretty even tempered most of the time. However, the thought of Jason touching her had the wolf growling inside me.

Jealousy didn’t change the fact that Nadya should have a man who could open his heart and love her. Deep down, I was broken. Something shut down the day I got the call my parents had been killed by a drunk driver. Gabe mourned. He went through all the stages.

But not me. I couldn’t face the pain. I started building an emotional barrier to be sure nothing ever wounded me like that again. If I never cared about anyone else, I couldn’t get hurt.

Then I lost Gabe. My last tie to my family, my Pack, my heart. It didn’t help that I’d let him go out hunting without me that night.

Shit. I’m not going down that road. Not now.

Clicking on the television, I laid back on the bed, hoping for a distraction, but my eyes drifted closed and the second the darkness surrounded me, I saw Nadya, her full lips parted, asking me not to go.

And in my dream, I stayed.

…

From the Journal of Dr. M. Granger – Journal Entry 524

I consulted with Dr. Jason Ayers today regarding the female subject, Nadya Dalca. He is hesitant to accept my input, but on General Miller Sloan’s recommendation, Dr. Ayers finally agreed to share her case file. His concern for the female seems to overstep the professional boundary of a physician, but that could further our cause.

She has survived her first full moon and successfully shifted into a wolf. As of yet, she has not exhibited the ability to take the form of a wolf without help of the full moon. Perhaps the mutation in Fonthill’s DNA did not pass through his bite. I will need blood samples to study and compare.

I stressed the importance of gaining access to the subject to make my own assessment. She is meeting with Dr. Ayers tomorrow morning and I am hopeful I will be able to examine her as well. If her blood is lacking the mutation, I will introduce the serum and document any changes.