Blood Money (25 page)

CHAPTER 48

When Mark was notified about Susan's death, he returned immediately to Ohio. For the first time during the long trip back, his mind was not on the heavy traffic. His only thought was that once again he had let Susan down, only this time there weren't going to be any more chances.

The funeral was pretty much a blur for Mark. He was in a state of shock during the whole time. He did remember that there were hundreds of people there to pay their last respects, although he didn't recognize a lot of them. He remembered being introduced to a number of people she worked with in San Diego, some of her clients and a few of her neighbors.

Peter Thurston stood to his right at the memorial service, and at the gravesite, Dennis Peterson stood to his left. Their support physically and emotionally helped Mark make it through the ordeal. He vaguely remembered shaking hundreds of hands and looking at the same number of tear-stained faces. He faintly recalled some of the words spoken by well-meaning people trying to say just the right thing, but failing miserably at it. There was no right thing that could be said. No words could replace the feel of Susan in his arms. No words could make up for the loss of her love. It was the saddest day of his life.

After the funeral, Mark went back to Centerville, alone. He sat in his living room recalling the night before they did the hack; their dinner together and the Chianti wine He thought about the weekend at the B&B, remembered making love to her just days before. He thought about their plans to get married and eventually raising a family. All their plans; now shattered. Her murder was a recurring nightmare that he couldn't awaken from. In his lifetime, Mark had never cried much. He usually held it all in, but during the past few days, he had cried more than he ever had in his life. He was tempted to drown his sorrows in alcohol, but knew that Susan wouldn't approve. What she would think meant a lot to him, now. What good would it do, anyway? He had to go on, he knew that. But how? How could he just set aside her passing and resume his life without her? There were no answers; there was no relief, no quick fix. Only time would heal he pain.

*

Dennis was very understanding. He arranged for some extra time for Mark to recover before returning to Quantico. He recommended that Mark meet with an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) counselor, but Mark wanted no part of it. He didn't need anyone helping him sort things out. Dennis was like a rock. If it wasn't for his support, Mark might have gone off the deep end with his grief. He even had thoughts of chucking the whole FBI thing, but realized that he needed something purposeful to hold onto. Quitting would render the sacrifice valueless.

Days later, the mail and cards arrived from “well wishers” wanting to share their individual take on how to grieve. He knew they meant well, but all they did was dredge up a lot of pain and sorrow, not that pain and sorrow were going to go away any time soon anyway. He finally decided that he would think of nothing but the happy times, his and Susan's private moments together. That path seemed to help him cope the best of all. He would count on time to do the rest.

Her memory will remain in his heart for the rest of his days. What they had was something so special, so indescribable, that Mark felt certain that he would never find that special magic again. To him, their time together was sacrosanct. He vowed that he wouldn't rest until the person who killed her was brought to justice. Her murder could not go unpunished.

*

The principle suspect, Mel Tarkington, is still at large.