Blood Hunger (An Adult Paranormal Romance) (Deathless Night Series #1) (19 page)

    
“No! Nikulas, please…” Emma begged. “Don’t stop touching me.”

   
 
He didn’t move for a long time, her words hitting him so hard, he had to take a moment to get himself under control.

     Resuming his play with her nipples with one hand, he slid his other hand back from her hip to her stomach, and lower. Pulling her tightly into him, he hesitated just a moment before cupping her silky curls, and then he slid his fingers into her slippery folds, sliding them gently up and down. She was soaking wet and ready for him, and Emma’s moan was drowned out by his own as he stroked her.

     Nik’s low voice rumbled at her ear, “Jesus…You’re so fucking wet. Is that just for me, Em.” 

   
 
It wasn’t really a question.

     “Yes…” she breathed anyway.

     Her breath came faster and faster as he continued to gently rub her slick nub. Pushing one of his knees between hers, Nik forced her legs farther apart, opening her even more to his touch. He kissed her neck again as he slid one finger inside her, then two, stretching her. He moaned aloud as he moved his fingers in and out of her, imitating the movement with his hips.

     His fangs scraped her skin slightly, and he felt a tremor run down her spine, her slick sheath gripping his fingers even tighter as they pumped in and out of her. Under his other hand, her nipples tightened hard as pebbles as he expertly worked her higher and higher.

     Emma began to tremble in his arms, her muscles straining as she threw her head back onto his hard chest. Her fingers curled into claws on the hard tile. “Nik? I don’t…”

   
 
“Shhh..It’s ok, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You feel so fucking good. Let go…I’ve got you.”

   
 
Nik held her even tighter to him as he pulled his fingers out of her and slid back up to her swollen clit. As he gently rubbed her faster and faster, she arched her back, pushing herself into his hand, moving her hips to match his movements.

     Nik pinched her nipple hard.

     “Come for me, Emma. Come NOW,” he ordered, and with a hoarse cry, she exploded, her body convulsing almost violently, over and over, in his arms.

     Nik continued touching her as she rode out her orgasm, then brought her down gently. He held her, harsh breaths exploding from his chest as he tried to get himself under control.

     Holy fucking shit, she was beautiful. Watching her come was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. And he’d seen quite a bit. Unlike other females he’d known, his Emma was completely raw in her reactions to his touch. She didn’t try to put on a show, wasn’t practiced.

     He was completely floored by her trust in him. She was innocence and beauty, and she was his.

     HIS Emma. The truth of that hit him hard. She was his. And he was well and truly fucked now. He should never have touched her like this. Never have smelled the delicious scent of her desire, felt her innocent but totally passionate reaction to him, watched her face as she threw her head back into his chest when she came. It made him want to keep her. Forever.

     But he couldn’t have her. It wasn't possible. He’d never be able to control himself enough to make love to her without sinking his fangs into her luscious vein. He was barely hanging onto his control by a thread now. And he was terrified that once he got another taste of her, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

     The thought tamped down his lingering desire. Taking a deep breath, inhaling her scent one last time, Nik released her and forced himself to step back into the shower spray.

     Dammit. This should never have happened.

     Emma felt Nik move away, physically and emotionally. A flashback to his reaction in her kitchen ran through her mind. Slowly lowering her arms back to her sides, she grabbed the edges of her wet towel and pulled it up around herself again.

     Wow. That’s what she’d been missing all this time? She could feel her face burning, from embarrassment or the lingering effects of her orgasm, she wasn’t sure.

     Would he do that again?

     Oh my God, what the hell was she thinking? What must he think of her? She’d acted like a common whore! Guilting him into doing those things to her. Nik still hadn’t said anything, and she dreaded turning around to face him.

     Her eyes filled with tears. She’d just let him totally violate her, instead of respecting his wishes to keep some distance between them. And she’d loved it. And now, he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

     “Emma…” Nik started in a strained voice, but then he stopped as she turned around.

     Emma quickly wiped her tears. With a quick sniff, she gathered the tiny shreds of her dignity around her and lifted her chin, facing him full on.

  
 
“I’m sorry, Nik. I don’t know what I was thinking. Actually, I guess I wasn’t, obviously. You don’t have to say anything,” she told his shocked expression. “It’s ok. Let’s just forget about it.” 

   
 
She looked away and hiked up her towel, waiting for him to leave her to her shower, where she could fall apart in private.

     “Un-fucking-believable.” He spit out.

     Her head snapped up, to be met with eyes brimming with rage.

     She clenched her jaw. “Just go, please.”

   
 
Stepping all up back into her personal space, he took her chin again, forcing her to look at him. “Em-ma!”

   
 
Emma looked at him blankly, her chin and her inner wall of defense lifted high. “What.”

   
 
“We need to talk about this, Em.”

   
 
“There’s nothing to talk about, Nik.”

   
 
“Yes, there is.”

   
 
“NO. There isn’t.” Yanking her chin out of his hand with a quick jerk, she calmly asked him, “Now, please, leave.”

   
 
Nik stared at her, a lost expression on his face. He tried again. “Emma. Please, talk to me.”

   
 
“There’s
nothing
to say, Nik.”

   
 
“I disagree, Emma.”  Nik took her face gently in both hands. “You have nothing to feel ashamed of, do you hear me?” She could feel her face flaming and tried to look away from him.

     He would have none of it. “What happened here…that was a perfectly natural thing. What happened to you seven years ago, that wasn’t your fault, and you can’t let that ruin your life.”

   
 
Emma refused to look at him. “I know that. I’ve done the therapy, and I
have
had sex since then you know.”

   
 
Nik recoiled slightly at her words, dropping his hands from her face and moving away from her. “So, if this isn’t about your feeling ashamed of the act, it must be…who the act had been performed
with
.”

   
 
He gave a harsh, derisive laugh.

     “Yeah, you know what? You’re right. There’s absolutely nothing to talk about.” Yanking the shower curtain closed behind him, Nik sloshed over to the bathroom door, snagging a towel on the way.

     Emma stared at the closed curtain with eyes full of hurt and regret. She could’ve sworn she’d seen a flicker of pain in his eyes. But it was there and gone so fast she couldn’t be sure.

     “Will you stay?” she called from behind the curtain. “I mean, not here, but in your room?”

   
 
She started to think he’d already left, when she heard him reply, “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

   
 
“Good.”

   
 
Emma listened to Nik leave the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him. After checking that he was really gone, she pulled off her sopping towel and hung it on a rail inside the shower.

     As the warm water hit her still tender breasts, she stifled a moan. How long had he been standing there? Before…? She prayed that she had covered herself fast enough, that he hadn’t gotten more than a glimpse of her ravaged skin.

     She never let anyone see her, other than the doctor, since that night. Not even herself. She avoided mirrors whenever possible. With the one lover she’d had, she’d always insisted on the lights being off. He hadn’t complained. She didn’t think he’d been that into her anyway, and she’d felt the same. It had just been two consenting adults staving off the loneliness for a little while.

     Funny. She tended to forget about them completely whenever Nik touched her. Amazing.

     Grabbing the shampoo, she quickly lathered up while she still had some hot water. As she massaged her scalp, she closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the feeling. But as soon as her lids slid down, Nik’s handsome face appeared. Smiling at her. Teasing her.

     Fixated on her in her kitchen, right before he pounced.

     At that last thought, she felt such a surge of lust go through her again, she nearly moaned out loud, catching herself just in time. Popping her eyes back open again, she wiped the shampoo away. She really needed to stop this. She couldn’t fall for him. He was a vampire! If she had an ounce of sense she’d be terrified, and would be counting the hours until she could be far, far away from him.

     But she wasn’t afraid, not at all. Not even when he got all freaky scary looking. She didn’t understand it.

     Or maybe she did. Taking a deep breath, she admitted the truth to herself. A truth she’d known since the moment he’d walked into that bar. She’d never been more attracted to a man than she was to him. Inside and out. She didn’t care that he wasn’t completely human. She didn’t care about what had happened to her in the past. If he wanted her, she wouldn’t fight it. As she had just so clearly proven.

     However, that was the question, wasn’t it? Did
he
want
her
? He ran so hot and cold, it was impossible to tell if it was just bloodlust, or was he as consumed with her as she was with him?

     As she finished scrubbing herself clean, she thought about what he had started to tell her on the plane. What the hell had that been about? What had he meant by all that ‘fated mate’ talk?

     She knew he wanted her sexually, he sure as hell just proved that, but was that all it was? Is that all a relationship with him would be? Or did it mean more than that?

     And why did he think he would kill her?

     These questions and more spun around in her head as she got out and dried herself off. Pulling on her oversized T-shirt, she realized she hadn’t brought her robe in with her. Of course, she hadn’t expected company either.

     Cracking open the door, she saw Nik sitting on the end of the bed with his back to her, staring out at the Sound. He had changed into a pair of dry sweats and a black tank top.  His feet were bare. He tilted his head slightly toward her as she tiptoed over to her suitcase and found her old robe. Pulling it on, she went over and sat down next to him.

     They sat together, lost in their own thoughts, until Nik finally broke the silence. “I’m sorry…” His voice was husky with emotion, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m sorry, again, for walking in on you. I can be a little overbearing at times.”

   
 
She didn’t contradict him. “I’ve noticed.”

   
 
Putting a hand on his muscular bicep, she gave him a little shove, needing to do something to break the tension between them. “What happened to the pain in the ass vampire who loved to amuse himself at my expense?”

   
 
With a sheepish glance her way, he murmured, “You seem to bring out the worst in me. I don’t know what it is. I’m usually a pretty laid back, happy-go-lucky kind of guy.”

   
 
He rose from the bed to pace back and forth in front of the glass at vamp speed, nothing but a blur until appearing at either end when he turned about. Here and there she would catch a glimpse of tensed jaw muscles and drawn brows.

     Emma stayed on the bed, watching him, waiting patiently for him to work out…whatever he was trying to work out.

     A few seconds later, he stopped abruptly and faced her, fists clenching at his sides.

     “What is it?” she asked.

     He met her eyes. “You were right before, what you said on the plane. From now on, any interaction between us needs to be strictly business. That’s it. We’ll find our siblings, and then you and your sister can go back to Pennsylvania and we can forget all of this,” he indicated the two of them, “ever happened.”

   
 
Even though she had been the one to suggest exactly this, she was nonetheless more than a little bit hurt to hear him agree to it. With all of his erratic behavior, she rarely knew what to expect from him, but it wasn’t this. “It’s a little bit late for that, isn’t it?”

   
 
Nik didn’t respond, but resumed his pacing.

     “So, what are we doing here, Nik?” she asked, mumbling under her breath, “Other than playing ‘feel up the witch’ of course…”

   
 
Swinging around in front of her so fast he startled her, Nik ground out, “Don’t do that.”

   
 
“Don’t do what?”

   
 
“Don’t demean what happened between us,” he fumed.

     “Us?” she scoffed. “There is n
o‘
u
s’
, Nik. You refuse to let there be an ‘us’.”

   
 
“I’m not arguing about this anymore, Emma.” He went back to pacing.

     Emma chewed her bottom lip, watching him appear and disappear, her thoughts spinning. She should just let it be. Respect his wishes. He was just trying to protect her, after all. But, the thing was, she didn’t believe there was anything to protect her from. She’d never once felt like she was in danger when she was with him. Ever. No matter what they were doing. Maybe she was being naive, but she trusted her instincts. And her instincts told her not to give up on this male. There had to be something she could say, something else she could do, to convince this stubborn idiot that it didn’t have to be that way.

     She had no idea what that was, however.

     “So, just like that? When this is done, we just…forget about each other?”

   
 
“That’s how it has to be, Emma.” Clenching his jaw, hands fisted at his sides, he stood firm with his decision.

     She lowered her eyes so he wouldn’t see the pain reflected there. “I liked you better when you were teasing me all the time.”

   
 
“Emma…
”
he admonished.

     She didn’t want to ask this. She really didn’t. But she had to know. Lifting her chin, she stated more firmly, “It’s because of what you saw just now, isn’t it.” When he continued to look confused, she clarified, “My scars?”

   
 
“No. No!” he emphasized. “Emma…this is…this really has nothing to do with you. It’s just the way it has to be.”

   
 
“I think it has everything to do with me.”

   
 
He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just better this way. Please, trust me on this.”

   
 
“Does this have something to do with you thinking that you would kill me?”
Why am I dragging this out?
She should just accept the fact that he didn’t want her and leave with
some
of her dignity still intact. But she sensed there was a lot more to it than that. “I just want to understand…”

***

     Dragging his hands through his hair, Nik thought to himself,
Why not just fucking tell her?
Maybe it will scare her enough that she’ll be smart and stay the hell away from him.

     “Yeah, alright.” He’d give her the abbreviated version. It would be enough. “I loved a girl once, or thought I did, a long time ago. Her name was Eliana.” Leaning against the window wall, he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “She was human, like you. We were together for about a year when I came home late one night to find her already asleep in our bed. The Council had just been in a battle with another Master Vampire. He and his followers had challenged Luukas’ authority. It happens occasionally. We won, but it was a hard, bloody fight. I was still amped up from it when I entered our room to find her there. I fell on her like a beast, tearing her nightclothes, not even giving her time to wake up….” He paused, and Emma was surprised at the unbidden jealousy that raged through her.