Blood Guilt (38 page)

“Your word of honour.”
Martin snorted with laughter. “Your word of fuckin’ honour! That’s classic,
that is. Nice try, mate, but I’m afraid I’ll have to turn down your–” He was
interrupted by a shrill female voice calling to him from the landing.

“Martin! Martin!”

Scowling, he bellowed
back, “What the fuck do you want?”

“I saw some people
creeping about outside. I think it’s the coppers.”

The scowl turned into
taut-lipped grimace. Martin pressed the gun barrel even harder into Harlan’s
head. “You fuckin’ lying bastard,” he hissed. “I ought to blow your fuckin’
brains out just for the hell of it.”

Harlan closed his eyes
and pictured Tom – the dark eyes peering out from beneath a tousle of equally
dark hair, the cute snub-nose and full, smiling lips. He saw him more clearly
than he had done in years. So clearly he could almost reach out and touch him.
A sense of calm stole over him. If this really was it, he was ready.

“Ach! You’re not
fuckin’ worth it,” spat Martin.

Harlan felt him take
the gun away. He heard him sprint out the room, slam the door and shoot the
bolts. Before he had time to feel relief or anything else, he heard a low
whimper from beside him. Twisting his head, he saw that Ethan was awake – awake
and staring at Neil, eyes like huge marbles as they took in the destroyed face,
the widening slick of blood. He could almost hear the hiss of the image
branding itself on the boy’s brain. From somewhere he found the strength to
rise, enfold Ethan in his arms and turn him away from the corpse. The boy
whimpered again and struggled weakly, but he subsided into trembling stillness
as Harlan stroked his hair, shushing him and soothing, “It’s okay, Ethan. It’s
okay. It’s okay.” Like a mantra, he repeated the words, until he heard booted
feet in the hallway. “In here,” he shouted.

The bolts clicked. The
door jerked inwards. Two officers wearing bullet-proof vests and armed with
pistols entered the room. “Show us your hands!” bellowed one of them.

Overcome by a sudden
reluctance to let Ethan go, Harlan hesitated to do so. He knew it was
illogical, but he had the feeling that he was the only one who could protect
Ethan, the only one who could truly keep him safe.

“Do it now!”

Harlan held onto the
boy.

A female detective
appeared. “It’s okay, he’s with us,” she told the armed officers, ushering them
out of the room. She turned to Harlan and said softly, “I need you to let go of
Ethan. We have to get him…we have to get both of you to hospital.”

“Have you got Yates?”
asked Harlan.

The detective nodded.
“And his girlfriend. They gave themselves up without a fight.”

Harlan turned his head
and murmured in Ethan’s ear, “Close your eyes.” He waited for Ethan to do so,
before adding, “Promise me you’ll keep them closed until you’re a long way away
from here.”

In a heartbreakingly
small voice, Ethan said, “I promise.”

“Good boy.”

Harlan nodded at the
detective. At a gesture from her, a uniform came to scoop up Ethan and carry
him away. Harlan struggled to stand, but the detective held up a hand to stay
him. “There are paramedics on their way up.”

Harlan slumped back
onto the mattress. The detective looked dispassionately at Neil’s nearly
faceless corpse. “Who’s he?”

“He’s nobody,” said
Harlan. “Nobody at all.”

Chapter
23

Harlan waved away the nurse
when she offered him a newspaper. He wasn’t interested in what the media had to
say about the personal histories of him, Neil Price or anyone else. And there
was nothing they could tell him about the hard facts of the case that he didn’t
already know. Jim had filled him in on the few details he’d been uncertain
about. At first, after abducting Ethan, Yates had kept him gagged, bound,
blindfolded and ear-muffled. In such a state of sensory deprivation, it was
impossible for the boy to say where he’d been taken or how long he’d been held
there for. All he knew was that every once in a while someone came to feed him
food, liquids and tablets. At some point it seemed that, as Harlan suspected,
he was moved to another place. Ethan had a vague, dreamlike memory of being
lifted and carried. It was after that that he woke to find himself free of his
bonds in the room where Harlan had found him. From then on, the man in the
balaclava looked in on him once every day or two.

There were other
details. Things Yates told the police that contradicted what Neil told Harlan –
things like how the whole sorry caper was Neil’s idea from start to finish. But
Harlan wasn’t concerned with the truth or falsity of such claims. That was for
the police and courts. All he was concerned with now was tying up the loose
ends of his present life – his non-life – and moving forward. He’d given Susan
the closure she needed, now it was her turn to do the same for him

Susan entered the
hospital room and saw Harlan lying on his bed, and her tears started to flow.
Kane lingered by the door as she approached him and took his hand between hers.
“Thank you, thank you. I…” She trailed off momentarily, her voice clogged with
emotion. “I don’t know what else to say.”

Harlan smiled. It was
different from any other smile that’d appeared on his face in a long time.
There was nothing forced or strained about it. “You don’t have to say anything
else.” Thank you weren’t the words he was so desperate to hear. But looking at
Susan, he realised he didn’t need to hear them, they were in her eyes, plain as
ink on paper. “Have they let you see Ethan?”

Susan nodded. “Soon as
he saw me, he ran to me and gave me a great big hug. Same as always.” She drew
in an elated breath, her eyes shining at the memory of that moment. A slight
frown nibbled at the lines of happiness on her features. “I’d have brought him
to see you, only the doctors want to keep him in a few more days to run some
tests. Physically he’s fine. Nothing a few good meals won’t fix. But–” She
broke off, glancing at Kane. 

“You don’t need to
worry about me hearing what you’re saying, Mum,” said Kane. “I already know why
they won’t let Ethan come home. They want to make sure he’s alright up there.”
He pointed at his temple.

“Nothing much gets past
you, does it?” said Harlan. “Ever thought about being a copper when you grow
up?”

“Fuck that.”

Susan flashed her son a
sharp look. “Watch your language or you’ll get it!” As Kane lowered his gaze
and muttered under his breath, she continued, “Isn’t there something you wanted
to say to Harlan?”

Kane stood silent a
moment, chewing his lips as if working his courage up. Then, with only a faint
trace of his usual sullen indignation, he said, “Thanks for finding my brother,
and…and I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

Susan frowned. “What do
you mean? What did you do to him?”

“It doesn’t matter,”
said Harlan. “Kane’s apologised and it’s over.”

The lines faded from
Susan’s forehead. She sucked in a big breath and let it out in a shudder.
“You’re right. It’s over and my beautiful baby boy will soon be back where he
belongs. That’s all that matters.” Some anxiety crept back into her expression.
“The only thing that worries me is taking Ethan back to that house. I mean,
how’s he ever supposed to feel safe enough to sleep there again?”

“So don’t take him
there. Put it up for sale and rent somewhere until you find a new place to
buy.”

“How am I supposed to
do that? I’ve barely got bus fare to get home, never mind money enough to shell
out on the mortgage and rent at the same time.”

“I want you to have the
reward for finding Ethan.” The shadow that fell over Susan’s face, prompted
Harlan to add quickly, “It’s not a gift. The money’s yours by right. Well, to
be precise, it’s Kane’s. Without him, Ethan would still be locked up in that
flat.”

Looking at his mother
with excited, pleading eyes, Kane opened his mouth to speak. But seeing the
frowning uncertainty of her face, he thought better of it and resumed biting
his lips. “I suppose you’re right,” said Susan, not sounding entirely
convinced.

“So you’ll take the
money.”

Susan thought a moment
longer, then the shadow left her face. Harlan smiled again, both at the leap of
joy in Kane’s eyes as his mum nodded, and at the way the boy turned to him as
if expecting him to somehow magic up the cash right that instant. There was
relief as well as amusement in Harlan’s expression. The thought of accepting
the reward turned his stomach. If Susan had refused it, he would’ve instructed
the solicitors to distribute it to whatever worthy causes they pleased. And
after all, what worthier cause was there than Ethan? The money wouldn’t erase
the memory of what’d happened to him – only time and love might do that – but
it would make things easier. After everything he’d been through, surely he deserved
that much at least. Harlan was careful not to let Susan see his relief. He knew
she’d reverse her decision if she got even the slightest hint that taking the
money was charity.

“Does this mean we’re
gonna move house?” Kane asked eagerly. When Susan nodded, he continued,
“Fuckin’ wicked! Can we get one of those plasma tellies for the front room?”

“Kane, what did I just
say about watching your language?”

“Sorry, Mum, but can
we?”

“We can’t afford a new
telly.”

“Yes we can. We’re
gonna be rich.”

“Seventy-thousand
pounds is a lot of money, but it doesn’t make us rich.”

Kane’s lips contracted
into a pout. “Harlan said it’s my money. So that means I can spend it on what I
want.”

“If you think I’m gonna
let you piss that money away on TVs and the like, you’ve got another thing
coming.”

“But–”

Susan raised a warning
finger. “This isn’t up for discussion.”

With a huff of
annoyance, Kane turned and stomped from the room. Susan rolled her eyes at
Harlan. “Honestly, kids! Who’d have ’em?”

I would
,
was Harlan’s instant thought.

Susan blinked guiltily,
as if she’d read his mind. “Sorry. I forgot about…y’know, about your son.”

Harlan smiled, but it
was the old forced smile. “You don’t ever have to apologise to me.”

“But I want to.” Susan squeezed
Harlan’s hand, looking into his eyes. “I want…” For a second she seemed to be
struggling to find the words she was looking for. Or maybe that wasn’t it at
all. Maybe she was thinking the words, but finding it difficult to say them.
She cleared her throat as if clearing a slight blockage from her mind. “I want
you to be happy.”

The strain vanished
from Harlan’s face.
Happy
. The word vibrated through his body. Was it
possible for him to be happy? He didn’t know. He was certain of only one thing:
it was possible now for him to try. He squeezed Susan’s hand back. Their eyes
remained in contact a moment longer, then she glanced worriedly towards the
door. “Go after him,” said Harlan.

“Do you mind? I can
stay if you want?”

Harlan shook his head. “He
needs you a lot more than I do.”

Susan released Harlan’s
hand, saying in a hesitating kind of way, “I guess we’ll talk soon.”

Harlan nodded. “I’ll
call you.” Even as he said the words, he realised he wouldn’t be calling Susan.
As much as he wanted to keep tabs on how she, Kane and especially Ethan were
doing, he also knew it wouldn’t do any of them any good to remain in contact.
All it would do would be to keep the embers of the past glowing. Now was the
time to let that fire die and build another. From her hesitation, he guessed
Susan felt the same way, even if she didn’t consciously recognise it.

“Take care.”

“You too.”

As Susan headed out the
room, Eve stepped into it. The two woman exchanged a glance. Susan smiled
faintly and nodded almost imperceptibly. Eve replied in kind. There was no
particular like or dislike in either of their eyes, simply acknowledgement.
Eve’s brow creased in a slight wince at the sight of Harlan, as if it hurt her
to look at him. She made as if to take his hand, but hesitated. She stared
nervously at him, unconsciously touching her belly as she waited for him to
speak. “She came to say thank you,” he told her.

“And what does that
mean for us?”

“It means I want us to
start again, build a new life, maybe in a new place, just the two of us –
that’s if you’ll have me.”

The lines faded from
Eve’s brow, but her nervousness remained. “Of course I’ll have you,” she began
in a soft, almost tentative voice. “I don’t care whether we stay here or move
to the other side of the world, just so long as we can be together. But–” She
broke off with a little swallow.

Harlan frowned. “But
what?”

“Wherever we are it
won’t be just the two of us?”

“What do you mean?”

“For an ex-copper, you
sure are slow catching on sometimes.” Eve took Harlan’s hand and very gently
placed its palm against her stomach.