Authors: Matthew Tomasetti
Tags: #vampire, #urban fantasy, #paranormal romance, #supernatural, #werewolf, #parody, #lycan, #new adult
“You’ve been in his chamber before,” Melvin
said. “It’s not a big deal.”
Candy looked around at everyone. She caught
White Paul looking at her cleavage again; she had caught all of
them sneaking a peak at least once, including Felicia.
“Okay. I go to his chamber, but I make sure my
breasts are covered up real good.”
Were-Jew coughed and laughed. Medium Dave’s
eyes got big and, turning red in the face, he looked up at the
ceiling. White Paul winked.
Melvin said in a deep and haughty tone that
confused Candy until she realized he was pretending to be the
priest who had called her character into his chamber, “I have a
quest for you, young oracle.”
The cell phone vibrated in her hand. The
display indicated an incoming call from the same number she didn’t
recognize. Everyone at the table looked rather annoyed. “Sorry,”
she said. “I need to take this real quick.” She got up and went
into the kitchen to answer. The voice that came through made her
eyes go wide.
“Hello, love. I thought you’d never
answer.”
Her heart skipped a beat and, even though she
knew the answer, she asked in a hushed tone, “Who is
this?”
“You know who I am, love. You’re breaking my
heart.”
“Don’t call me again.”
She ended the call and then stared at the cell
phone. She checked through all of the other messages. One of the
twenty was a text from her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend Jack, and
one other from another sort-of boyfriend who attended Boston
College. All of the others were from Rupert.
Candy stood in the kitchen for a while staring
at the cell phone and wondering how Rupert got her number. She
listened to the first voice message he had left at nearly three in
the morning: “Pick up, love. It’s me, Rupert. I’ll try you back. I
have all night. I have forever.”
She listened to the next message that came
fifteen minutes after the first: “Seems I’ve missed you again. We
really need to talk. Call me back. Kisses.” The third message: “It
would make my life much easier if you’d pick up. Then I wouldn’t
have to track you down like this. See you soon.”
The implications in the message had her nearly
hysterical. Track you down? Regardless of how simple the statement
was, her frantic mind couldn’t make sense of it. She dared to
listen to the most recent message: “You’re not in my dreams anymore
and I can’t sleep now. I’m going positively crazy without you. Ah,
but I hate the short nights of summer. I’ll be with you soon
enough.”
Candy flipped her cell phone shut. Jimmy stood
in the doorway watching her.
“Is everything all right?” he said, his face
creased with concern.
She wasn’t sure what she should say. After a
moment, she gave him a weak smile. “Yeah,” she said and they went
back to the game table together.
“I stab him in the face,” Felicia
said.
“You can’t just stab a death knight in the
face,” Melvin said. “It has armor and it’s taller than you. And
it’s incorporeal so there’s no face to stab.”
“Fine. I stab him in the balls,” Felicia
said.
“He doesn’t have balls!”
“Can I cast magic missile?” Medium Dave asked,
but no one paid him any attention.
Felicia threw her hands up. “What am I
supposed to do? Why put me up against a death knight if I can’t do
anything with my daggers?”
“Because the only thing you ever do is stab
things in the face. Try something else, otherwise the death knight
is about to attack you and he looks pissed that you ransacked his
tomb.”
“I’ll cast magic missile,” Medium Dave
said.
Felicia leaned over the table to yell at
Melvin. “You’re impossible! You can’t just tempt a thief with a
tomb full of treasure and then expect her to fight a fucking death
knight. That’s stupid.”
“Can I cast magic missile now?”
“You’re not there Dave!” Melvin
roared.
Candy’s cell phone rang again. Everyone
snapped their heads to her except Medium Dave, who had slouched
back in his chair in a pout. Candy didn’t want to look at the
phone. But she had to know. She flipped it open to see Rupert’s
number again. She accidentally let out a little whimper.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimmy asked
her.
“No.”
“What is it?”
Candy looked from Felicia to Melvin and then
back to Jimmy. “Rupert keeps calling me.”
Jimmy snatched the phone out of her hand, but
it had already stopped ringing. He stood up out of his chair,
looking a little scared.
“Rupert the crazy vampire?” Melvin said. Both
Candy and Jimmy nodded. “You gave him your phone
number?”
“No! I don’t know how he got it. He’s been
calling all night and morning,” Candy said.
White Paul threw an elbow into the wall behind
him. “Fucking vampires!”
“Jesus,” Felicia said gravely. “This guy
sounds like a worse stalker than Paul.”
“I don’t stalk. I keep an eye on them while
they reconsider,” White Paul explained.
Jimmy found the messages on her cell and he
put the most recent one from the call they just missed on speaker.
Rupert’s annoying British voice filled the room. Everyone was
appalled by his accent more than the disturbing, drawn out tone of
his voice.
“I wish you would have told me you’re near
Springfield. I could have had my people there fetch you. Are you
thinking about me? I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never had
better and I know you haven’t either. I can’t wait to give you
more. You have me so twisted up I can’t sleep. Don’t you see what
you’re doing to me? I’m sitting here in the dark talking to your
bloody voice mail.”
“Wow,” Felicia said, and for the first time
she looked sincerely concerned for Candy.
Jimmy stared at the phone for a minute and
then he said, “He’s calling during the day. I didn’t know they
could . . . that’s crazy.”
Everyone seemed to understand his meaning, but
no one offered up any kind of an explanation. None of the Misfits
seemed to know what to do. Melvin chewed his
fingernails.
“How does he know where you are?” he said.
“Can he track that phone?”
“Vampires are crafty motherfuckers,” White
Paul said.
“This isn’t good. He’s going to find the
Kennel,” Melvin said.
“What are we going to do?” White Paul said.
Before anyone suggested an answer he narrowed his eyes at Candy and
gave one of his own. “I say we drop her off in the middle of
Boston. Let the vamps find her there. Alone.”
“Don’t be an asshole,” Felicia said. White
Paul glared at her and she shot him the middle finger. “Don’t you
forget what Tinch said.”
“We need to figure something out,” Melvin
said.
The cell phone rang in Jimmy’s hand. Everyone
looked at him. With the phone still set to speaker he answered the
call.
Rupert’s voice: “Do you miss me?”
“Listen, asshole,” Jimmy growled at the phone.
“If you call this number again I’m going to rip your fucking arms
off.”
Silence. Worried and interested eyes passed
back and forth. Medium Dave leaned in his chair, reading one of the
role-playing books, seemingly unconcerned. The sigh that came
through the speaker made Candy cringe.
“Jimmy, is it? The little pup who ran away
with his tail tucked between his legs?” Rupert said. “I remember
you, Jimmy. I remember you and that other wanker who took my Candy.
I’m going to make you watch while your girlfriend screams my name.
And then I’m going to rip your little prick off and show it to
everyone so they can have a good laugh.”
Jimmy’s face flushed red. “Fuck you
asshole!”
“I’ll see you soon, Jimmy. Give my love and
regards to Candy.”
The line went dead.
Melvin was on the brink of hysteria, or maybe
rage.
“We have to get out of here,” Were-Jew said.
“We can’t compromise this location.”
“Where are we going to go?” Felicia said,
concern in her green eyes as well as on her voice. “Tinch told us
not to leave.”
“Yeah? Well Tinch isn’t here. I’m not running
from a vampire,” White Paul said. “Let him come here. I’ll take him
out.”
“Get a grip.” Felicia rolled her eyes and
shook her head. “You and what army?”
Melvin banged his hand on the table and
everyone respectfully turned their attention to him.
“I’m the leader of the Misfits and I’m not
going to listen to you idiots argue while vampires find our
hideout.” Everyone snapped their mouths shut and stared at him. For
a skinny twerp, he was rather intimidating. “Thank you. We need
help. We need a safe place to go. We need people we can
trust.”
“Like who?” White Paul inquired with a
dramatic flip of his hands. “It’s not like we can go to the police
and we don’t know anyone.”
“I wish Tinch was here,” Melvin mumbled,
cracking under the pressure.
Everyone stood or paced in nervous silence
except Medium Dave. He put the book he had been reading down and
said, “I know where we can go for help.”
“Where?” asked Melvin.
“The Mullins. They’re cool.”
Melvin was short on patience but he asked,
“Who are the Mullins?”
“A vampire family.”
White Paul laughed. “Brilliant! Let’s go right
up to the very thing we’re trying to get away from.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Medium Dave said.
“They’re American and they don’t drink blood. They’re really
cool.”
“Don’t drink blood?” Melvin said, one of his
brows perking up skeptically. “They aren’t vampires if they don’t
drink blood. How do you know vampires anyway?”
“They don’t drink
human
blood,” Medium
Dave said without answering the last question. “They are totally
advanced and they don’t believe in that. They drink some synthetic
stuff and pig’s blood.”
“That’s messed up,” Were-Jew said.
“I’ve known them for a few years,” Medium Dave
went on. “I completely trust them. I’m pretty sure they’ll help
us.”
Were-Jew nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah,” he said.
“The Americans don’t really like the British vampires. Maybe they
can help us.”
Melvin pondered this for a moment. “Okay.
Dave, you get in touch with the Mullins. Everyone else, get
anything we may need packed into the cars.” He turned his attention
to Candy. “We have to destroy that cell phone and check you for
bugs.”
“Bugs? They’re vampires not the CIA,” Jimmy
said.
Melvin turned his serious nerd face to him.
“They’re tracking her somehow. Destroy that cell phone. Felicia can
go upstairs with Candy to check her handbag and
clothes.”
Candy had to give Felicia credit for at least
trying to appear unenthusiastic about Melvin’s order. “Okay, let’s
go,” Felicia said. Candy followed her upstairs into a plain room
with a bed and a single dresser. She told Candy to lean down a
little and then she combed through her hair like she had lice.
After that, she slowly (and far too thoroughly) patted her
down.
“I think you need to take your dress off,”
Felicia said.
“I don’t think that’s necessary.”
Felicia grinned. She had the biggest, most
alluring green eyes Candy had ever seen. While she had some time to
scrutinize, she also noted Felicia had a lovely heart shaped face
with a perfect nose and thin lips. She also begrudgingly noted
Felicia had the physique guys went crazy for—thin, but not too
thin. Thin enough to give her hips the sway they needed and her
legs the illusion of more length.
At least Candy had her beat in the breast
department.
“I find it hard to believe you have a single
shy bone in your body,” Felicia said. “So what’s the problem? I
won’t get fresh.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the
one being asked to strip down.”
Felicia unbuttoned her pants, dropped them to
the ground, and then threw her shirt off over her head. Candy went
a little pink in the face. The redhead had a body more disgustingly
perfect than she had first thought. Wearing only a black bra, a
jewelry piece in her naval, and green boy underwear (something
Candy never understood), Felicia stood there waiting with her hands
planted on her narrow hips. Candy sighed and slipped out of her
dress. She wasn’t wearing a bra.
“You don’t need to hold your hands over them.
It’s not like I don’t have a pair of my own,” Felicia
said.
“Then you’re not missing out on
anything.”
Felicia shrugged. She did a more thorough
search of Candy’s red dress before she had her turn in circles.
Candy had a sneaking suspicion that, while turned away longer than
she thought necessary, Felicia was checking out her
butt.
“You look clean. Sorry if I made you feel
uncomfortable.”
“It wasn’t so bad.”
While Candy put her dress back on Felicia
said, “What’s up between you and Jimmy?”