Blood and Salt (24 page)

THE KISS

KATIA RAISED HER ARMS
to the dusky gray rose sky above the sacred circle and took in a deep breath. She fixed her eyes on me. I felt my chest inflate involuntarily, my lungs filling with tiny sparks of electricity and magic. She exhaled, breathing white flames onto my skin—a celestial fire. I wanted the fire to burn the flesh from my bones and char my memories, but I felt no heat from the flames.

The words that flowed from Katia's mouth through mine felt as natural to me as a nursery rhyme, something that I'd known since the womb.
“Kirikus icawatka ru', cirasa ru', kaawakit ru' rikus kiru kiaarawataar,”
we spoke.

Katia leaned forward to kiss my mouth, taking in a deep breath of the white fire that danced across my lips. I watched the flames move through her in a flash, releasing her soul from her body. Black vapor seeped from her mouth, creeping toward me like a sickness, and her body collapsed to the ground, like a snake shedding its skin. I felt her presence
probing me, trying to find a place of weakness to get in. My mind told me to resist, but my body wanted to breathe her in, like the most beautiful perfume.

I heard my mother's words in my ear.
Uhurahak a u' a—
Let go and let yourself fall.

When I couldn't hold it any longer, I took in one last deep gasp of air—every memory, every feeling, every dream, every fear collapsed upon me, imprisoning me. I felt like a stranger in my own body. At first I could hear my heart beat, like being in the womb. I felt the euphoric sensation of Dane's presence. But I also felt myself disappearing, receding. Little by little being absorbed into my own bloodstream. Any hope that Dane and I had of being able to keep even a shred of ourselves was a beautiful lie. Nothing remained but despair and emptiness. I felt myself slipping away into the abyss.

I let go.

A ripping sensation etched through my chest—a sound of screeching agony escaped my lungs, as if my heart were being torn from my body with forceps. I came back to my senses to see the black inky tendrils of Katia's soul suspended in midair, hovering between my mother and me. The tremendous force of pure energy my mother summoned as she chanted nearly took my breath away. Despite the chaos around us, my mother looked more radiant than ever, her chestnut hair flowing like that of a goddess, the golden light behind her illuminating her frame. I recognized the words; this was something she practiced at home all the time, but I never understood it until now.
She always said she was practicing hanging on to her soul as the world collapsed around her and now she was using that same power to control Katia's soul, to hold her at bay. But it was more than that . . . it was a resurrection chant.

My mother's attention seemed to be focused on a spot beyond me. I turned, thinking she was looking at Dane or Coronado, but they were still trapped in Katia's spell, looking on, completely helpless. But as I turned back, something caught my eye. Pale, narrow fingers clutching the edge of the chasm. My heart seized as I watched Marie climb out of the crevice. She walked straight toward me, blood dripping from the palm of her hand, She grasped my hand. The feel of her cold, slick skin pressing up against mine was like a dark memory—something buried deep within my soul—something inevitable.

My mother acknowledged Marie with her eyes. The resurrection chant was meant for Marie. No longer a ghost or a vision, she was completely corporal now, made of flesh and bone. And then in one forceful inhalation, my mother sucked in the black tendrils of Katia's soul. My mother's body shook, her eyes bulged, dark veins protruded from underneath her stretched skin.

Marie pried the golden blade from the hand of Katia's discarded body and pressed it into my palm.

The knife molded to my hand as if it were meant to be there.

“It's the only way.” My mother struggled to speak. “I won't be able to hold her for long.”

Marie tightened my grip around the knife.

My knees buckled.

“No,” I whispered, horrified by the realization of what she wanted me to do.

“If you don't do it,” my mother said, “Katia will take over your body and soul. Think of Rhys. He needs you.”

“I can't,” I whispered. I closed my eyes to the horror before me and thought of my mother teaching me to swim in the Sargasso Sea, holding me up above her as the waves came crashing down. Showing me how gentle the world could be through nature and scent. Drying my tears with gold-tinged fingertips. Brushing my hair back from my damp cheeks, telling me how special I was. She taught me how to be brave, how to love—protected me at every turn. How could I end her life when she'd given me so much?

“Do it,” my mother grunted in pain. I opened my eyes to see her convulsing, struggling to keep Katia's evil inside of her.

“I can't!” I screamed. “I can't let you go.”

“We'll do it together.” My mother managed to smile through her pain.

She took my trembling hands within hers, placing the tip of the knife against her chest. Her beautiful moss-green eyes enveloped me with tremendous love and warmth.

Marie wrapped her arms around us both in a violent embrace.

I heard the golden knife slipping between my mother's ribs,
and felt the warm burst of blood as it entered her heart. Her jaw went slack, her eyes darkened, and her body went limp in my arms.

As I held on to her, a great radiance blossomed beneath my mother's skin, until hundreds of tiny drops of light bubbled up, clinging to her like golden beads. I felt every one of them—each bead, a soul. The souls of my ancestors, the souls Katia had collected over the years.

I felt love, peace, and forgiveness beaming from her skin.

The golden beads intensified into tiny molten suns until a huge explosion ripped through her body, throwing me to the ground.

As my mother's ashes rained down on me, I watched Marie grasp the ankle of Katia's discarded body and drag her back toward the chasm. “A daughter's love is the greatest love of all,” she cooed as she pulled Katia with her over the edge.

ASH

A SONIC BOOM
ripped through the fields, collecting all the energy from the atmosphere. In a great show of power, the menacing wind encircling Dane and Coronado was pulled inside the chasm. Dane collapsed to the ground, gasping for air, while Coronado disintegrated into a pile of black blood, skin, and bones. The ground shook and heaved until the chasm surged together, leaving behind only a narrow crack in the earth's crust.

As I lay there, facedown in the barren circle, I stretched out my hand, tracing my fingers over the thin crack in the earth. My mother made the ultimate sacrifice. Coronado and Katia were gone. Marie was finally at peace. I'd never felt such sorrow and relief—it was over.

With great effort, I pushed myself into a sitting position to find Dane digging through Coronado's remains. He stood, wiping the blade of Coronado's dagger clean on the side of his pants.

As I studied him, a tiny bit of static rushed through my heart.

He walked toward me. A deep chill raced through my bloodstream. Something was off.

His eyes carried a dark glimmer that didn't belong there.

His gait.

His scent.

Sandalwood, mandarins, strawberries, and the sea invaded my nostrils—Coronado's scent mixed with his own.

“It's
you.
” I exhaled a tremulous breath.

“You're a remarkable woman. Highly intuitive and very brave.”

He had Dane's voice, but the phrasing was all wrong.

“How?” I asked in horrified awe.

He rolled up his sleeves, exposing the brand on his inner wrist. “Dane has been marked since birth. He's always belonged to me. But I never imagined it would come to this. It was fate.”

That's why Dane's brand looked different from the other Mixeds'. It wasn't because he was branded as a newborn, it was because his mark was Coronado's signet. The crow . . . wings outstretched.

“When he refused to hand you over, I was furious, but when I saw how much you cared for one another, how much you looked like Marie, I couldn't resist his offer. It was worth the gamble.
You
were worth it.”

“Dane
offered
himself as your vessel to save me?” I whispered.

“We've all made sacrifices. I would've preferred to stay in my own body, but Katia wouldn't let go of the past . . . of her
vengeance. She left me no choice. My soul will always choose life. As will yours.”

My chin quivered as I attempted to hold in the tears, to hold in the rage I felt tearing at my heart. “I would never
choose
this life.”

“Never is a very long time,” he said softly.

Tears streamed down my face. Dane had said the same thing to me when Rhys left Quivira.

“You're beginning to have doubts about hating us . . . Dane and me.” He crouched down in front of me. “I saw the look in your eyes when you first saw me in the corn. You feel something for me.”

“I can't listen to any more of this.” I placed my trembling hands over my ears. I felt so confused, so heartbroken, I didn't know what to do with myself.

“Come with me to Spain.”

“I need my brother, I need Rhys,” I whispered as I rocked back and forth.

“He'll find you when he's ready. It's in both of our interests that he's found.” His eyes narrowed. It was clear he felt threatened by Rhys in some way. “You belong with me . . . with Dane.” He brushed my hair back from my face and I flinched. “In time you may grow to love me, too.”

I felt sick. “I don't love anyone.”

The slightest hint of a smile tugged on the corner of his mouth.

“Besides, you're lying,” I said. “I know what it's like to have
another person's soul inside of you. Dane is gone. There's only darkness for the vessel.”

“That's what Katia wanted you to see . . . to think . . . to feel. The world isn't so black-and-white, Ashlyn.”

“Don't call me that,” I spat.

He smiled more fully. The tiny dimple peeked out as if to taunt me, and it made me wonder. Was he in there? Could he see me? How could I still
feel
him if he were really gone?

“We all have good and evil in our blood, what we do with it is up to us.” He reached out to touch my face. Every cell in my body called out for him, wanting to lean into his touch, to feel his hand against my cheek once more, but I forced myself to pull away.

“Pride cometh before the fall,
mi amor.
Don't let it keep you from happiness.”

He stood and started to walk away, but paused at the edge of the circle.

“Immortality can be lonely,” he said as he looked at me over his shoulder. “You'll know where to find me. And I'll always know where to find you.”

As he left the circle, I watched my mother's ashes dance in the wake of his footsteps. And like those flecks of ash, I felt completely untethered from the world, set adrift in an open sea without a shore.

Lost.

Alone.

Irredeemable.

PROMISE

AS I WALKED BACK
through the corn, I dragged my hands along the stalks, feeling none of the magic that once lived there.

I couldn't feel Katia or Marie anymore.

I couldn't feel my mother.

But I still felt Dane like a phantom limb.

Every step I took away from him only seemed to deepen the ache. I loved him and I hated him. Even whispering his name felt like fire and ice scraping against my lungs. And now I was bound to him for all eternity, a prisoner of my blood.

Even if I could forgive him for his betrayal, it wasn't Dane anymore. Coronado had taken him over, body and soul. And yet, something of Dane remained. It made me question everything I thought I knew about the world . . . about myself. I reached my hand to my throat to feel the comfort of the black silk ribbon, but it had left me, too. It didn't belong to me anymore. And neither did Dane.

I stepped through the perimeter, back inside Quivira. Beth
was waiting along with the others. They looked at me expectantly, but I had nothing to offer.

“Katia's dead,” I said as I walked past their needy eyes and grasping hands straight into the lake, hoping it would wash me of my sins. I let the warm water envelop me, and all I could think of was the time Dane carried me into the water, washing the blood from my skin. I pressed my palm against my mouth, longing to feel the delicate weight of Dane's last kiss, but I only felt my own clammy, murderous flesh. I'd done the unthinkable. I killed my own mother. She gave up her life to save mine, and here I stood, all alone. Unable to live. Unable to die.

I looked down at the milky water, watching it turn the softest shade of pink from my mother's blood. My guilt felt unfathomable, a wild endless thing.

Without a word or a sympathetic glance, Beth waded into the lake next to me and took my hand.

As we both stared straight ahead, I wept.

• • •

We stayed like that—side by side, waist deep in the water until dark—until the community retreated to the meeting house, probably trying to figure out what to do with the rest of their mortal lives.

The sky had turned the deepest, blackest blue I'd ever seen. Even the moon and stars didn't dare show their faces tonight.

“You should go home, say your good-byes.” I took a deep breath. “We're leaving in the morning.”

“You're taking me with you?” She squeezed my hand in excitement.

I attempted a smile for Beth's benefit. “Do I even have a choice?”

“No. No you don't.” She hugged me tight. “I'll come at first light. I have a surprise for you.”

I listened to her footsteps as they disappeared into the corn—the opposite direction of the Grimsby lodge.

Beth was full of surprises.

• • •

A surge of adrenaline rushed through me as I neared the Mendoza lodge. Feeling a need to expose every secret, I let myself in, descending two flights of stairs, to the wood-paneled wall at the end of the hall. I pressed the panels until I heard the familiar sickening pop. The door swung open. The scents of eucalyptus and blood washed over me. The blood from the chalice had belonged to Coronado. The truth was right in front of me all that time and I didn't see it. I was so focused on Dane that I missed everything.

I wondered what made Spencer want to strike an alliance with Coronado in the first place. Was it pure greed, or revenge? What did Coronado promise him in return?

I thought about crossing the threshold, trashing Spencer's sick sanctuary, but I stopped myself. I wanted the world to see who he really was.

On my way back upstairs, I walked by Dane's door. I rested my hand against the cool wood grain. I needed one last look.
As I opened the door, his scent hit me dead on. It was like walking into a cement wall.

I pulled the hollowed-out book from the shelf. The stationery, the red wax, and the seal were missing, but his secret stash remained. I took out the sunglasses—the map—the Backstreet Boys CD and put them in my shorts pocket, but when I started to close the book, I noticed the chart printed on the inside of the front cover. It was a list of all the different gemstones and their corresponding meanings.

I looked up at his desk, trying to identify the stones when I saw that one was missing. I went down the list, trying to figure out which one it was. It was rose quartz. And according to the chart, rose quartz meant promise. Dane talked to me about the significance of rose quartz when he brought my ribbon back to me after the games. It was the same stone Marie left under Heartbreak Tree. And then I remembered something odd.

The first time Dane took me to Heartbreak Tree, I asked him if he'd ever written a note. He said, “If I had, I
promise
you'd know.”

Promise.

The missing stationery. The missing gemstone. Was it possible that Dane had left something for me under Heartbreak Tree?