Blog of the Dead (Book 3): Lost (25 page)

‘No. I have a better idea,’ I said, remembering something I’d seen on a sciencey TV show Dad used to like. I hoped it would work.

I pulled off my shirt and with the edge of it held in my teeth, I ripped a strip off the bottom, just like I’d see people do in movies a hundred times, ready to be used as a bandage. But that’s not what I needed it for. I threw my shirt to the ground and opened the bottle of white spirit, pushing down on the red cap in order to operate the child proof design. I shoved the end of the strip of fabric down into the bottle, making sure that all of the fabric got a good soaking by putting the cap on and giving it a shake.

‘Kay, open the petrol cap,’ I said.

Kay nodded and did as I asked. I opened the bottle and tipped it upside down so that the remaining liquid spilled to the ground. I didn’t care, I didn’t need any more of it, and I poked my fingers inside the opening to fish out the drenched fabric, giving it a squeeze to get the excess out. Kay tossed the petrol cap to the grass and waited beside the car for me to feed the soaked fabric into the petrol tank. The theory was, the white spirit would ensure that once I set light to the fabric, it wouldn’t snuff out before the flame had made its way into the petrol tank.

‘I’m hoping its low on fuel,’ I said to Kay. ‘Fumes will ignite better than fuel. Right,’ I said to both Kay and Rachel, ‘help me push the car up the track. We need them bottlenecked for this to work.’ I patted my jeans pockets and realised I didn’t have my lighter. It was still in the pocket of the biker jacket that I’d left inside. ‘Start pushing. I’ll be back in a sec,’ I said before I turned and darted back to the cottage.

I located the jacket over the back of a kitchen chair. I considered slipping it on but, even though I wore only a vest top, I didn’t feel cold – a mixture of adrenaline and the milder early spring air. I pulled the lighter from the pocket, leaving the jacket where it was, and sped back to the others.

I helped them push the car through the busted gate and far enough up the track that the front runners were only a couple of metres away from us, then I lit the piece of shirt I’d left hanging out of the petrol tank – the fuse. It caught easily and I knew the white spirit would do its job. Satisfied, me, Kay and Rachel turned and darted back down the track and into the front garden.

We’d left the car positioned fairly straight on so that there would be room for the zombies to start squeezing through the gaps either side of the car between it and the fence that separated the track and the fields that ran alongside it. That way, a controlled amount of zombies would trickle through the gate to us both before and after the explosion so we could take them out without getting swamped.

Sure enough, a few zombies began easing their way past the car on either side and continued to lumber towards us. We stood in a line in the garden, waiting for them. Five front runners managed to get through before the car exploded. Even from where we stood, I felt the heat of the explosion on my skin. The zombies anywhere near the car when it went up were incinerated immediately and their charred remains fell to the ground where they continued to smoulder. A few zombies that had been further away from the blast but close enough to catch fire continued to lurch around while their bodies burned, spreading the fire to others. The flaming zombies staggered towards us behind the others that had already got through.

I moved forwards to meet the first wave of zombies as they staggered through the gate. Kay kept in line with me but Rachel, her weapon clutched in front of her body, hung back, her bulging eyes fixed on the zombies lumbering towards us. I wasn’t surprised by her reaction. I wasn’t worried either; Me and Kay could handle that little lot, no problem.

I thrust my blade between the eyes of a zombie before ripping it free and plunging it into the ear of the next. I glanced up at the car and saw it burning steadily. Zombies attempted to squeeze past it, only to catch light – their dry, withered bodies succumbing easily to the flames. I saw the bottlenecked zombies building up behind the car, their bodies putting a strain on the fences either side.

A few smouldering zombies lurched towards me and Kay, their charred arms outstretched, their jaws nothing more than blackened bone now the flames had eaten away any remaining flesh. The acrid smell of burnt meat overwhelmed me and stung my nostrils. I retched but managed not to be sick. I pulled the neck of my vest top up but, as I launched myself at the zombies, it kept falling down so I left it and tried my best to breathe through my mouth without gagging.

Some of the still burning zombies fell before they got to us. The ones that made it to us received a blade to the brain. I could feel my hands and forearms beginning to blister from the heat emanating from their bodies.

‘Oh my god! Look!’ I glanced behind me to see Rachel pointing. I followed the direction of her finger to see the fence giving way on the right hand side from the pressure of the bottlenecked zombies behind the car. Zombies sprawled to the ground as a whole section of fence was flattened beneath their weight. Those that remained on their feet clambered over their fallen comrades and made it past the car. Some of the zombies wandered into the field, finding themselves trapped again by the fence between the field and the front garden. But the majority managed to tread along the flattened fence and stagger past the car and towards the busted gate in greater numbers than I felt comfortable dealing with.

‘Shit!’ I said, moving backwards towards the cottage. ‘We have to retreat.’

But it was at that moment that Rachel decided to go full on hero. She darted past me to meet the crowd of zombies head on, screaming out a battle cry.

‘Rachel! Fall back! I yelled but if she heard me she didn’t respond. She swung the edging blade into zombies’ heads with force, her slender body strengthened by adrenaline and revenge. I could only imagine that thoughts of her recently deceased dad drove her on. She pounded and stabbed and sliced.

I moved forwards, yelling at Rachel to come back. I stabbed the ever increasing number of zombies that filtered through the gate, coming at us a little faster than their previous charred companions.

‘Sophie, leave her,’ said Kay, coming up next to me. ‘Let’s get out of here. This is bloody suicide.’

‘I can’t leave her,’ I said and I ploughed on towards Rachel and the main body of the zombies. I wanted to grab her and do a runner out into the fields behind the cottage while we still had chance.

Only problem was, as more zombies strayed off into the field to the right, their numbers began to swell. Their weight began put a strain on the fence separating the field and the cottage’s garden. ‘Shit, I said as the wooden posts began to give. ‘Can’t we get a break today?’ I muttered to myself as I watched the fence posts topple. Some of the zombies at the front fell forwards with the motion of the fence collapsing, but most managed to remain on their feet and they poured into the garden to the right of us. This effectively cut us off from heading that way and to the rear of the cottage. Now there was only fight, not flight.

‘Fuck,’ I said.

‘Usual day at the office,’ said Kay and she swung her axe into the head of an oncoming zombie. ‘Wish I’d hung onto that bloody chainsaw now,’ she added. Kay slammed the axe down onto the head of the next zombie, while I slid my hammer from my belt. With my hammer in my left hand and my knife in my right, I concentrated on doing as much damage as quickly as possible to as many of the zombies around me as I could.

I could see Rachel just up ahead, covered in black blood and brain goo. The horde jostled to get to her, but she managed to slice through their heads with the edging blade faster than they could pull her in. But I knew it wouldn’t take long. I smashed a zombie’s skull with my hammer and plunged my blade through the eye of another before casting a glance back to the cottage. The garden around it was full of zombies but nothing compared to what was coming towards us from the track. If I waited until I had pulled Rachel out of there, maybe they’d be too many that way too. I hated myself. I told myself I had no choice.

‘Kay,’ I yelled over the groaning and snapping jaws, ‘you’re right. Let’s get the fuck out.’

We both changed direction and made for the cottage, slashing at everything in our way. I rammed my knife into zombies’ heads for me and for the life that I was possibly carrying inside me. I had to survive for the both of us.

Beside me, Kay ploughed through the zombies with her axe. ‘Yeah, come on you fuckers,’ she said to them. ‘Just fucking try it!’

Despite not wearing a jacket or even a shirt over my vest top, I felt sweat trickle between my shoulder blades and down my spine. I had to pause a moment to wipe the perspiration from my forehead with the back of my hand to stop it from stinging my eyes and clouding my vision. Me and Kay were heading for the side of the cottage in order to get out into the fields at the back, and we were doing a pretty good job at clearing the way. But that’s when I heard the scream. I glanced back to see Rachel swamped by zombies. I gasped with a mixture of sorrow and guilt. I could have tried to save her. I let that happen.

It took only that one moment, that brief lapse of concentration. I felt a searing pain in my upper arm and turned to see a zombie’s teeth in my flesh, my red blood spilling down my right arm. I swung my hammer into the top of its head. One more swing and the zombie slumped to the ground, taking a chunk of me with it. I stared at the wound for a moment. Funny, while the large open wound hurt like hell, like I’d just been branded with a hot iron, I couldn’t get my head around the fact that it was going to kill me. I didn’t feel any different.

I glanced up to see Kay standing staring at me, her mouth open. She ignored the zombies staggering towards her – just for a moment – and then she snapped out of it and was back on it, splitting zombie skulls open with her axe. I, too, jolted out of my shock to rejoin the fight. I might have been infected but I could still make myself useful in helping Kay get away. I swung my knife with renewed vigour. I had nothing to lose now. I was going to die, and I could damn well take as many dirty, disgusting zombie fucks down as I could.

I heard a horn blaring and I glanced back up the track to see the campervan hurtling – as much as the poor old thing could – towards what remained of the horde on the other side of the white car. I saw Misfit at the wheel. He drove the van through zombies as they staggered along the track. He carried on, the van hitting the zombies making their way through the field. He managed to flatten many of them before coming to a stop in the garden not far from me.

I continued to slay zombies, but I watched as Misfit jumped out of the van and began driving his hunting blade through zombies’ heads with expert and precise speed. He made his way through the field towards me, killing as many of the zombies that stood between us as he could. When he reached me, his eyes settled on the bite and they grew wide.

There was nothing either of us could say.

Only a few zombies remained in the garden. I zoned out from them, knowing that Kay would deal with them and I dropped my weapons to the ground. Misfit dived at me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him so tightly as though he thought he could squeeze the infection out of me.

‘No. Sophie, no!’ he sobbed.

‘I’m sorry, I said, pulling away from him so I could see his face. ‘I fucked up.’

We were both sobbing – our bodies shaking as we held onto each other. I felt something wedged in his pocket. I moved further back from him and I pulled out a plastic bag. I opened it and lifted out a pregnancy test and a small brown teddy bear. The sight of them was too much and I collapsed onto my knees and cried. Misfit dropped down to his knees in front of me. After a moment I looked up at him.

‘Remember your promise,’ I said to him.

‘I remember,’ he said.

I wanted to make my final entry in my diary before I go. So I’ve done it. Reliving it as I write it all down hasn’t made it seem any more real. I feel a little unwell, but nothing more than feeling slightly hungover. If I seem calm, I’m not. I’m beating myself up – How could I have been so careless? If only we’d done a runner straight away, hidden somewhere until the zombies had passed and then gone back for Misfit. If only I’d left Rachel to the zombies sooner. If only I’d put the fucking biker jacket on. Misfit’s jacket. If only I’d been more fucking careful. Damn it! DAMN IT!

I have a virus that’s going to kill me. I have eight hours, well, seven if you think it took me an hour to log this entry.

Fuck. I have seven hours…

April 5, 1pm

In the days that followed, me and Kay cleared the zombie bodies out of the garden. We piled them into the back of the van and I drove them up to the road at the end of the track. I dumped them in the field on the other side – out of sight. It was backbreaking work and it took a while. Then I repaired the gate and the fence. There was more damage than there should’ve been because I couldn’t help myself – lost it and I fucked up three more panels, shredding up my knuckles. Kay didn’t try and stop me. She waited for me to get it out of my system and fall to my knees then she sat next to me with her arm around my shoulder while I cried.

We left the burnt out car where it was and, once the fence and gate were fixed, I had to park the camper on the other side of it, at the top end of the track. Kay asked me why I wanted to stay in the cottage after what happened but I just answered her by shrugging my shoulders. She’s gone now, Kay. She went back to Folkestone two days ago. Said she’d decided to face her demons. She took the camper. I just hope it got her there OK. She said she couldn’t sit around here with me clinging onto the past. And she said she couldn’t spend the rest of her time in the apocalypse with someone who communicated largely with a series of shrugs and grunts and Mmmmm’s. She said she needed to be with people who actually had something to say for themselves. She didn’t mean anything by it. She was just being honest. There was only one person who saw through my quiet exterior and only one person who made me want to speak. Well, OK, two people. But Clay isn’t here anymore either.

I’ve just finished reading her diaries. It took a few weeks to get up the courage to live through her words. It was painful. Reading the words she wrote brought her back to me but only the ghost of her – only enough to tease the fuck out of me. Bitter sweet, as they say. Afterwards, I thought I should add my own words. Only, I’m not educated and clever like she was. My words probably won’t make as much sense as hers or I’ll struggle to make my feelings clear.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do what she wanted me to do. She tried to make me promise that I’d put her down if she ever got bit. But I told her that the only thing I could promise her is that I’d always love her. That’s another reason that Kay didn’t want to be around me anymore. I ignored Sophie’s wishes. I didn’t put her down.

She’s out there now, standing, staring at the cottage. She’s too timid for me to approach right now. But I’ve started to leave dead animals out by her regular spot at the fence – foxes, rabbits and squirrels. She eats them. And I make sure she can see me while she eats. Each time I move a little closer to the fence. It’ll take time, I know. It’s early days. I’ll have to be patent. But I can do that. I’m a hunter.

April 14, 5pm

Today I sat on the grass on the other side of the fence while she ate the rabbit I left her. She stood watching me while she tore chunks of meat off the bone, blood dripping down her chin. I wondered if she recognised me at all, if anything pre-bite remained in her head. I couldn’t see any recognition. I just wondered if there was none at all, or if it was just that, if there was, she just didn’t know how to express it, if you know what I mean. Told you I wouldn’t make much sense.

I can’t help wondering if she knew exactly what I felt for her. I’m not good with words so I don’t know if I managed to get it across. I know she loved me – I read it in her diary, but I knew anyway. I loved her from the first time I saw her. She used to keep her diary on her laptop. That’s gone, everything she wrote then, so I’ll never know what she thought of me back then – back when me and my stepdad and the two wankers that hung out with us busted into her home. Yeah, I knew I loved her even then. But my fear of that fucked up bastard that used to bang my mum – in more ways than one – made me pretty pathetic and weak. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore and I shot him.

I didn’t think the others, her people, would accept me into the group. But she did, without question, and eventually they did too. My feelings for her grew and I had to watch her with another guy. But you know what? And this might make me come across as an idiot or a liar, but I just wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. Yeah, believe it. But there were moments when I didn’t think she was happy, moments when I think she wanted to do a runner. They were supposed to get married and – maybe it was just me – I got the sense she wasn’t as happy as she made out. I think she was having doubts. I could be wrong.

In the end, she was mine.

As I watched her eating today, I couldn’t help looking at her stomach. I wondered if she had been pregnant. Then I stopped myself cos that was only going to do my head in completely – the thought that I’d lost two instead of one.

April 21, 9pm

I’m not good at keeping this diary like she was, you know doing it every day. I’ve been moving closer to her while she eats. There’s definitely no aggression towards me. She growls a little if I make a sudden movement, more like she’s worried I might try and steal her food.

Her skin doesn’t look so grey anymore. I always think she looks beautiful but she looks better now that her cheeks aren’t quite as sunken.

Yesterday I left her knife and hammer on the ground, just to see what she’d do. She ignored them. But I’m going to keep trying to see if I can reach her in there. I might not have been able to put her down like she wanted me too, but I will damn well keep my promise to her – I will love her forever. For better, for worse…

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