Blocked (2 page)

Walking through the small parking lot with his arm draped protectively around her waist sent small jolts of anticipation zipping through her already hyper-aware body. Everything about the man to her left was imprinted into her memory—the way his tall, hard frame gave balance to her knees that just barely kept her upright, his scent, a spicy blend of cedar, pine, and Decker, hung ever so lightly in the spring air, just enough to make her mouth water and her heart race. The man was a sensory feast, and she suffered from insatiable hunger.

They stopped in front of her car. They’d agreed to meet at the restaurant because she still felt more comfortable having her own transportation.

“I’ll drive slowly so you can follow me back to my place.” April’s skin bloomed with goose bumps as Decker’s thumb glided up and down her arm as he spoke. “But just in case, please enter my address into your GPS.” Decker shifted closer, his mouth mere inches from her ear. “I don’t wanna lose you tonight, April.” Yep, those seven words had her blood pulsing through her veins while eagerness clenched at her core as she tapped in his address.

“Are you sure you want to take this back to your place, Deck? I mean, I’ve never been there before and… what if Charlie finds out?” She saw a quick flash of something pass over his face. If it was guilt or the thrill of getting caught, April had no idea. But as quickly as the look had come, it was gone.

Decker opened her car door and waited until she was tucked and buckled safely into her seat before speaking. His brow arched as his chocolate eyes glittered. “It’s late, April. Charlie’s been sleeping for a while.” His lips curled up in the half grin that April had named his
gotcha
smirk as his voice dropped to a gravelly pitch. “As much as I look forward to hearing how you sound when you’re screaming my name as you come”—he winked—“tonight, we’re gonna have to go on touch instead.”

“Ahh, so kind of like mime sex,” April teased, squeezing her thighs together. Everything the man said sparked her libido, and she was one flare away from detonation.

Her heart sped up, pounding wildly into her ribs as Decker’s brown eyes blackened at her comment. Their relationship flourished due to their easy banter and similar sense of humor, but as he licked his lips and leaned into her car, the only thing that occupied her mind was getting his mouth closer to her own. She didn’t have long to wait. Decker tipped her chin up and crushed his lips to hers. His tongue breached the seam of her lips and demanded entrance into her mouth. Her breathless whimper seemed to rev up the fire between them as their bodies fused as one. He nipped her bottom lip before ending their scorching kiss, his forehead pressed gently to hers as she breathed in his warm sweet breath.

“Fuck, April. Let’s get out of here before I strip you down and take you in the backseat of your car like a horny teenager.”

Lust struck and aroused, April grazed her fingers over Decker’s stubbled jaw. She loved the way his brown eyes were practically black with desire—desire for her, and no one else.

Prologue

Four Years Ago

April

“I’M SORRY, SNUGGLE-BUNNY, I am.” The words left Ben Spears’s mouth, but repent wasn’t at all the emotion April sensed oozing from her husband as he shrugged with blatant indifference. “I just can’t do this…” He gestured his hands back and forth from his body to hers. “This whole thing between you and me anymore. I need to be happy.” Condescension dripped from his tone. “And you should want that for me.” Ben tossed the rolled pairs of socks from his drawer into his suitcase in a basketball-like fashion. His eyes lit up with accomplishment each time a pair made it into the open case. Packing had always been a little game to him. And there, in that moment, even after he’d dropped a proverbial grenade on his wife, blowing their life apart, he still took time to
score
points with each pair of socks.

“Wait, let me get this straight.” April rubbed her trembling hands over her rounded belly. An action which had previously brought surges of excitement about their future now provided her with unwavering purpose. At thirty-six weeks pregnant, their unborn baby was the only reason she hadn’t gone all Lorena Bobbit on her lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch husband who, sadly enough, had also been the love of her life since her sophomore year in high school. Her one and only love and she his, or so she’d thought until fifteen minutes prior, when she came home from work early with a headache and found him packing his things.

“Four points.” Ben pumped his fist as two more pairs of socks landed in the suitcase.

“Ben.” While trying to control the quiver in her voice, April was unsuccessful in reining in the volume. “I don’t understand. You’re telling me you’ve been having an affair?”

“Yes.” Another two points celebrated as Ben kept his back turned from April.

“And this
woman
…” April could barely grit out the word seeing as her mind had already conjured the female into a monster, nothing more than two tits, a hole (maybe two holes), and a heartbeat. “You…cheated on me with her back when we were in college?” April rubbed at the moving form in her belly. Judging by the placement, it was probably their baby’s elbow. Yep, their child wasn’t even born yet and already knew that its daddy was an asshole. Great, just great.

“Yes, April.” Ben faced her and nodded. “Yes to everything. I’m in love with her, and I think I always have been. When she came to work at my firm eight months ago, I realized that those feelings never went away.” Not waiting for a response, Ben turned his back and walked into the closet to gather his suits.

Shock filled April like water flooding a sinking boat. After all, she
was
sinking. Her life was being torn apart right before her eyes, and she was completely out of control. Grasping for answers like a life preserver, she threw out questions, hoping the answers would help in some way. She’d settle for anything that would clue her in on what the hell was going on.

“Eight months?” April shrieked. “So around the time we got pregnant, you started fucking another woman? And it never occurred to you to tell me?”

Ben’s silence spoke volumes. April tugged at her hair clip, releasing the silky strands from the prison they’d been trapped in all day. Her head had gone from an ache to a migraine, and her stomach was beginning to churn. Their baby continued to shift in her belly, a reminder that it wasn’t just
her
Ben was leaving but
them
.

“So you’re now leaving me and
our
baby to be with her because you”—she threw her hands in the air to surround the next words in quotes—“‘just can’t do this anymore’?” She inhaled slowly, attempting to slow her pounding heart. The obstetrician had warned her during her last appointment, an appointment that, ironically enough, Ben had missed due to work, that an elevated blood pressure was bad for the baby. April continued to pull in deep breaths, putting her baby’s safety before her own heartbreak.
She
would put her child first…always.

“No, I’m leaving you to be with her because I. Don’t. Love. You… I love her.” Ben answered from inside the walk-in. “Sorry, snuggle-bunny.”

She flinched at the once-adored nickname as he pivoted.

His easy glance rested on hers. His narrow shoulders shrugged nonchalantly as if he were apologizing for forgetting to bring home milk—something he often did. “We just weren’t the fairytale I thought we’d be. It isn’t
all
your
fault.”

She couldn’t contain the gasp that left her mouth as his words sliced through her. Ben stepped out into the bedroom, hands filled with clothes. His gaze flittered past hers and quickly snapped back, zeroing in on her face. Maybe it was her rounded eyes, her tightly drawn-in lips, or her clenched fists. Possibly it was the way her nostrils flared or her uncharacteristic silence that screamed in the dead air, but whatever it was clearly made Ben Spears uncomfortable, and when Ben got uncomfortable, he began to ramble.

“Um, April, snuggle-bunny, there’s no need to lose your head over this.” Ben’s brows arched, nearly reaching his hairline. “I’m sure you and the kid will be fine. That’s one of the reasons I waited this long to tell you. I wanted to make sure the kid was fine before I left. Now you won’t be alone after I’m gone. I’ve got it all planned.”

April felt her jaw drop. Was he kidding? There was no way this was the man she’d spent the past eight years of her life with.

“We’ll work out child support. You know I’m good for the money, right?”

She stood silently, staring at her husband and watching his lips move as bullshit spewed from his mouth. It was obvious that her silence was making him nervous, but in that moment, she didn’t give a damn how he felt.

He continued to ramble. “Sooo, I’ll just send a monthly check and stay out of your way. I can go be happy with Becky, and you and the kid can… you know, do your thing.” He quickly turned and entered the bathroom to pack his toiletries.

He’s good for the money? Do our thing?
April screamed in her head as emotions cycled through her mind.
He was supposed to be a good husband and a good father. We made vows stating that we would spend our lives doing our thing together. What the hell just happened?
She refused to crumble in front of him, the person who was walking out on her and their baby. No, apparently it was just her baby. The little life inside of her was no more than a nuisance to a man who was nothing more than a stranger. She’d obviously missed the signs that her husband was an unfaithful shit. While she could make a valid point that her lack of observation was due to pregnancy hormones, she wondered just how long she’d been living with blinders on.

The hammer that had been pounding in her skull when she arrived home was now accompanied by a drill and a buzz saw, while waves of nausea inched acid up the back of her throat. Her throat tightened by the second as sadness took hold, forcing shallow breaths and causing her eyes to sting. Inhaling slowly through her nose, April forced oxygen into her burning lungs. She closed her tear-filled eyes and exhaled, releasing carbon dioxide and a promise that she would not cry. No way would she show him any sort of weakness when he was clearly displaying no heartache at all. So instead, she held herself together and grabbed onto the only emotion that would keep the sadness away until he left: anger.

With her hands caressing her belly, she waddled over and stood before the floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Each of the wooden panels displayed collections that she and Ben had each spent years acquiring. In the left case were her beautiful paperback books, each one signed by its author and in perfect condition. On the shelves to the right were Ben’s fucked-up, creepy bobblehead dolls from every sport, movie, and event he’d ever attended. Goddamn things had been freaking her out for years. She swore the little bastards nodded at her every time she got undressed, and the larger her breasts became during her pregnancy, the more their little heads bounced. She clenched her teeth, grabbed the first doll, and quickly went to work.

“What the fuck, April?” The bitter question came from a very unhappy Ben some time later.

Standing amongst a pile of de-bobbled dolls, April lifted her gaze to her husband’s surprised stare. She’d become quite efficient at the decapitation process while Ben was in the bathroom packing. She’d overheard him having a not-so-quiet, not-so-sullen phone conversation with his new girlfriend. April was appalled when she heard Ben report that
he
thought the encounter with his wife went
pretty smooth.
But when he told good ol’ Becky how he was looking forward to spending the night with her wrapped in his arms, well, that was when the bobbleheads really started flying.

Ben crouched down, picking up the remains of his beloved Princess Leia figurine. “I loved this one.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I can’t believe you would do this to me, April.”

April stared at her husband. Words evaded her. Was he insane? Had aliens invaded his body? That fucking doll was reducing him to tears but leaving his wife and unborn child meant nothing? Uncertain if it was pure rage or pregnancy hormones, April once again found herself pulling in cleansing breaths.

“Hmm.” A sardonic smile pulled at her lips. “Well at least I didn’t lose
my
head over this.” She pointed at the broken toys. “They did. Now get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.” In that moment, her baby kicked hard, as if it too agreed with April’s rage. “And, Ben, if you ever call me snuggle-bunny again, your dolls won’t be the only things to lose their head.”

She took pleasure in the look of dejection on Ben’s face as he tried to gather his precious dolls. Brushing past him, she walked gracefully—well, as gracefully as a pregnant woman in her ninth month could—and stopped when she reached the bathroom door.

“Get out,” she screamed, her voice cracking like thunder in the quiet room, startling Ben and causing him to drop the possessions in his arms. The sound of plastic heads falling to the hardwood floor was almost musical and his panicked face was comical.

The man grabbed his bags and scurried out of the room like the rat he turned out to be. Once April heard the garage door close, she allowed the tears to fall freely, along with her dreams of her perfect little family.

* * *

Decker

DECKER BRAND SAT stiffly on the granite bench that faced his wife’s gravestone. The coolness of the stone sent a shiver through his clothes and into his skin. Sleeping peacefully in a stroller by his side was their daughter, his sweet angel—blissfully oblivious to her surroundings. At almost two years old, little Charlotte missed her mother, but after the first few months, when she’d begged for her momma and cried herself to sleep, his little girl seemed to be adjusting to her new normal. What was it people always said about kids? They’re resilient? Decker shrugged. While he didn’t necessarily agree with that theory, he
did
know that kids did what they
had
to in order to get by. His gaze landed back on the shiny black marble.