Bliss Series Boxed Set: The Whole Damn Harem (109 page)

“Right!” my muffled voice answers, screaming in shock as he slaps his palm against my ass.

“What was that for?”

“Holding out on the goodies drawer from your boyfriend. Bad,” —
smack
—“bad,”—smack—“girl.”

“Put me down and I’ll let you use anything you want on me.”

Opening my bedroom door and walking through it, he drops me on the mattress and leaves me there. He then stalks over to my dresser, rips off the tape and with a cheeky grin over his shoulder, turns back and slowly slides the top drawer open.

Suffice to say, we
both
had fun in my new bedroom that night.

“Girl, You’re Alright”

Zoe

For leaving single life with a bang, my future sister-in-law definitely knows how to go out in style. Mac, Mia, Kate and I have been drinking wine all afternoon in Mac’s backyard while Daniel, Noah and Zander entertained the twins at Lincoln Park Zoo with Mom and Danika deciding to tag along too. What made it all the more entertaining were the texts and photos we’ve been getting from the guys, the last one with Jared and Riley covered in ice cream, nose to chest. Now the boys were going to drop the kids off with Daniel’s parents before heading out for a quick beer and going their separate ways—Zander to the hotel where he’s staying with Zach, his best man, Daniel coming back to join us, and Noah heading home at last report, although he made it abundantly clear that I was to catch a cab straight to his place when I left Mac’s place. The words
drunken sex
were mentioned – probably promised than anything.

“Are you and Zan going to give us a niece or nephew soon?” Mia asks Kate, stuffing some much needed food in her mouth—food/foot, hell anything will do if it shuts her up.

Mac throws her head back and laughs as Kate shoots her a glare that should really have her six feet under. “Zander wants to wait for a little while. Be just the two of us.” She quickly takes a big gulp of wine from her glass.

“And you don’t?” I ask.

“Not really. I’d start popping them out now if I could, or even a year ago. But Zander and my mom agreed that we should get married first.”

Mia leans forward, now fully interested in the conversation she inadvertently started with her nosy question. “I thought you wanted the whole fairy tale. Dream guy, dream wedding, perfectly planned babies . . .”

Kate shrugs. “I’ve got the dream guy and my dream wedding was always going to happen with him. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t been practicing vigorously for game day, whenever that day comes.” She winks at us, and both Mia and I splutter into our drinks.

I hold my hand up to her to make her stop. “Dude, no. Just, no. He’s our big brother. I know he does it, and I had the unfortunate experience of seeing him mid-strip once. That is
more
than enough for me. It’s like a hear no evil, see no evil, ‘don’t need to fucking know about it’ evil.” I smirk at Kate as she rolls her eyes.

“Funny, that’s pretty much what he said when I told him to cut you some slack when it came to Noah. And look how that turned out.”

My mouth drops open. “I didn’t know it was you that got in his ear. I figured it was Mia.”

“Nope.” She sits back and cradles her wine glass in her palms, looking very proud of herself.

“I have a question,” Mia asks. “Anyone here ever faked it?”

“What?” I ask, wondering where Mia’s filter is tonight.

“You know, faked the big
O
? ’Cause a few weeks ago there was a party and I kind of went home with this hot-as-hell firefighter, but when it got down to it, his pole just wasn’t giving me the ride of my life, you know.” My mouth drops opens and my eyes bug out as I listen to my younger sister.

“Oh my god, Mia,” I screech.

“What?” She looks at me as if I’ve suddenly got two heads. “I know you’re a freak between the sheets. I’ve heard you before,
remember
?”

“Can’t wait to hear that story,” Mac murmurs.

“So you faked it?” Kate asks, fully invested in the firefighter sex story now. She’s an avid romance reader—the dirtier the better—so it’s not that surprising that she’s eating up Mia’s story.

“Believe me, I didn’t
want
to fake it. But I spread wider and moaned and groaned my way through it until he’d finished himself off. I even tightened my Kegels for effect.” She pulls her shoulders back and is wearing the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen. She’s so proud of herself, it’s fucking hilarious.

“I’ve never faked it,” Kate announces.

“Me neither. Never had to,” I share.

Mac is suspiciously quiet. We all look at her, waiting for what I anticipate to be a hilarious tale. But she just purses her lips and shakes her head.

“Mac,” Kate warns.

“I’ve faked it before. Most of the time it was just because the guy had no fucking clue what he was doing. Once, I had to fake it ’cause I just wasn’t into it.”

“Who?” Mia asks, knowing full well of Mac’s history with Daniel, Zander, Sean and yes, Noah.

Mac’s eyes cut to mine, and she grimaces before confessing, “Noah.”

“What?” I screech loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. “You had to fake with him?”

“Just once, but yeah,” she replies.

Placing my half-full glass of wine on the table in front of me, I bury my face in my hands and rock back and forth. “Oh god! I can't be with a guy who women have to fake for. It’s just not fair,” I moan.

“Zoe?” Mac asks, waiting till I lift my head to look at her before continuing with a quirked eyebrow. “You've slept with him. You must know it’s not a common occurrence. There’s no way a man like him with equipment like that would ever make a woman
need
to fake.”

“But what if he's just giving me his A game because it’s new?” I cry. “Soon we'll lapse into the C or D game, and it’ll be all over for my lady parts. No more hours of tingling afterward from being made to come over and over again.”

“You didn’t tell me about that!” Mia complains from beside me.

“I like the C game,” Kate says.

Mia interrupts her, “We don't even wanna know what that is.”

“True. You really don't.” She smiles into her glass smugly.

“I think I might want to know about the C game. Maybe Daniel doesn’t know that one,” Mac pipes up, and I just lose the plot and start laughing uncontrollably at the whole situation.

Once I calm down, I grab my drink and down the rest of my glass, then stand up and nearly fall sideways.

“Zo, you're drunk.” Mac wins the award for stating the obvious. “You’re thinking worst-case scenario. I'll tell you now, there is nothing bad about Noah, in and out of the bedroom, other than his ego when it shines through,” Mac says.

“I know that.
Believe
me, I definitely know about all o’ that.” Mia snorts, having been fully briefed about all Noah’s talents the other night over a bottle of wine – or two.

“There’s his big mouth,” Kate retorts.

“What?” I partly slur, more focused on finding out what she’s talking about rather than verbalizing my words clearly.

“He blurted out that Mac was pregnant to Daniel before she grew the balls to tell him herself,” Kate says.

I gasp and cover my mouth.

“Hey now,” Mac says with a soft laugh.

Kate scoffs. “What? It's true.”

“Well yeah, but still,” Mac says softly.

“So big mouth, fake orgasms, and an ego. Why am I going out with him again?” I ask loud enough for the backyard, the neighborhood, and probably half of Chicago to hear.

“’Cause he also has a big—”

“Hello, ladies,” Daniel calls out as he walks around the corner and makes a beeline for his wife. “Gorgeous,” he murmurs against her temple as he kisses her softly.
Talk about swoon
. “Who are you guys talking about, or don’t I want to know?”

“We’re talking about you men. Could you call me a cab? I need to get going.” I look over at Daniel and he looks down to Mac, who nods up at him and then turns back to me.

“You’re going to Taylor’s?” Daniel asks me with a smile.
Damn that guy has the best smile. Almost as good as Noah’s.

“Yeah, I need to talk to him now.”

Daniel tilts his head and grins at me. “I bet he’s gonna love that too.”

“He told me to go straight to his place. But now I need to ask him a few things before deciding if I want a life without orgasms.”

“Say what now?”

“Don’t ask,” Mac, Mia and Kate all say at the same time, which just starts them laughing, but I’m too focused on the loss of my future orgasms to join them.

Daniel ushers me into the cab when it arrives outside their house, and no more than fifteen minutes later it’s pulling into Noah’s driveway, just as the front door opens and the man who has already given me countless orgasms walks toward the open passenger window to pay the driver.

Once the driver is all squared up, he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side, leading me toward the house.

“I got a text from Dan warning me that you might be a little drunk.”

“I’m a lot drunk, but that’s not the point. I’m not sure I can be with you anymore.”

He freezes mid step, and turns to face me at the same time as swinging my body around to meet his, chest to chest. “Say that again. I think you lost me.”

Because I’m drunk and although— in my mind — I’m telling myself that I deserve a lifetime of orgasms and I need to break up with him, I wind my arms around his neck and pull myself hard against him. His hands drop to my hips and hold me hostage as his eyes bore down into mine, obviously waiting for me to explain. “See, we got talking and Mac said she had to fake an orgasm with you, and I can’t live without orgasms. I like having orgasms. They’re fun and good for me, and they make Zoe a very happy girl, so I need to have orgasms and if you’re just giving me your A game to lure me in and then you’re going to switch to your C or D game soon, which would suck—although Kate said the C game can be fun if you do it right . . . anyway, I need you to promise me a life full of lots and lots of orgasms or else I can’t go out with you anymore.”

Then I’m stopped by his lips hitting mine, his tongue delving into my mouth when it opens on a gasp of shock. He takes his time, he does the job right, and when he pulls back and nuzzles my neck, I’ve sagged against him and my hands are gripping into the back of his head as if my whole life depends on it.

“Are you going to start back up again, or do I need to put something in your mouth to stop you from spouting this shit?”

“It’s not shit. I need org—” He cups my jaw and kisses me long and deep, and with lots of effort on his part, and mine once I get past the shock of him shutting me up with his mouth for the second time in as many minutes.

“Now that we’ve established that you’re
not
breaking up with me, or going
anywhere
else other than my bed right now, can I take you inside so I can show you every trick I have in the book? And I’m gonna keep going until you get it through that drunken head of yours that you’re never going to have to fake an orgasm with me, now or ever.”

“Mmm hmm,” I hum, still stuck with my head in Taylor fog.
That shit’s dangerous when you’re drunk.

He chuckles before pushing me in front of him and walking me inside the door, slamming it closed behind him and spinning me around to face him, making the room turn a little too fast. “Whoa.”

“Am I making you weak at the knees, Zoe?” he whispers hoarsely by my ear as he walks me backward and toward the stairs.

“Or the bottles of wine we drank might be.”

“Let’s call it fifty/fifty, shall we?”

“Mmm kay.”

∞
∞
∞

Noah

Fuck Zoe is adorable when she’s drunk. If I hadn’t been so blindsided by her major freakout on my front lawn, I would’ve burst out laughing at it. Daniel has told me about Mac’s freakouts, but I don’t think she has anything on Zoe. That was beyond epic, and I wish I’d been able to record it to play for her tomorrow, just to see the look on her face.

As for her having to worry about fake orgasms, she won’t ever have to. I’ll make it my mission to never leave her disappointed, starting now.

“Zo?”

“Yeah?” she mumbles.

“How drunk are you?”

“On a scale from stone-cold sober to drunken harlot looking for a screw, I’m well past a ten at this point.”

“Does the harlot want me to take her to bed?” I ask, snaking my arm around her waist and holding her against me as we stand in the entranceway. Catching our reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall, it hits me just how good we look together—my arm wrapped around her back, her gorgeous body pressed close into mine.

It’s a reflection I could get used to, one I would happily look at for many years to come.

Her hand touches my cheek and when my eyes move to her face my breath is sucked out of me by the look of absolute adoration shining there.

“Fuck the bedroom,” I mutter as I walk her backwards to the carpet-covered stairs and ease her ass down to sit a few steps up from the floor. I drop to my knees and thank the heavens for her denim skirt.

Watching her face, I drag my palms up the outside of her thighs, lifting the denim skirt with my hands as they move up and over her hips. Her chest heaves and her breathing speeds up as I ease my fingers inside her barely-there black panties and pull them down her legs.

“Noah,” she moans. “I need you to do something . . . anything . . .”

“Fucking planning on it, sweetheart,” I growl as I push my shoulders between her knees, spread her wide, and lower my head directly over her clit, swirling my tongue around it, circling the swollen bud with abandon. Her hips take on a life of their own, bucking up against my lips to deepen the pressure. One of my hands grips her hip and I move the other between her legs, slowly pushing my finger inside her eager pussy before adding another, teasing her with achingly shallow thrusts.

“Deeper, dammit,” she moans, making me grin against her skin. My girl is greedy when she’s drunk, and fuck if I wouldn’t have her any other way.