Blink of an Eye: Beginnings Series Book 8 (45 page)

“
You haven’t said anything.”

“
Nope, because I know he’s trying to quit, a lot more than we see. He’ll ask for help one day. Unfortunately that’s what I’m worried about. Unfortunately it may just take something big to force him into it.”

“
That scares you.”

“
Yeah, that’s why I keep watching him. I don’t like leaving him alone. I don’t like you two fighting. It throws him over the edge. He needs you.”

“
I know he does.”

“
I think you’re the key to helping him, one, because he loves you, and two, because you are the closest one to him.”

“
How can I help? Tell me.”

“
Frank has to tell you that. You can’t go after him for it. He has to come to you.” Robbie started playing again.

“
Is that why he started smoking, to help with his urges?”

Robbie
’s hand dropped with a hard strum of the guitar. “You know?”

Ellen blew harshly from her lips
. “How can I not. The house smells of it. He smells of it. I think it’s funny how when I bust him he always says it’s you.” Ellen laughed. “I just think that ...” She saw Robbie’s expression change. “What’s wrong?”

Robbie lifted his head
. “Hi, Frank.”

Hoping Frank didn
’t hear what they talked about, Ellen turned slowly to him. “Frank?”

“
What are you guys talking about?” Frank pulled up a chair.

“
Uh ...” Robbie shifted his eyes to Ellen. “We were talking about psycho Andrea.”

Frank pointed
. “That is why I came out.” He hid a snicker. “Andrea wants you to wash up for dinner, Robbie.”

Robbie winced
. “Aw, Frank. What is wrong with her?”

Frank lifted his shoulders
. “She wants to baby you. I think she finally broke.”

Ellen shook her head
. “You’re wrong. Andrea is just in love.”

Both Frank and Robbie looked at her and asked at the same time
, “With who?”

“
Who do you think?” Ellen asked them. “Joe.”

A unison
‘no’ came from both brothers.

“
Yes.” Ellen nodded, lifting herself from the chair to peek toward the kitchen window. Andrea’s head bobbing along in the kitchen could be seen. “She’s in love with Joe.”

Frank laughed
. “I’d better forewarn my dad.”

“
We both ought to,” Robbie added.

Ellen just rolled her eyes at them
. “Are you two that dense? Joe doesn’t need forewarning. He knows. Why else are they sleeping together?”

“
Uh!” Frank shrieked and nearly fell from the chair when he sprang up. “My dad is not sleeping with that woman.”

“
Yes he is, all the time,” Ellen stated.

Robbie stood and peeked toward the house
. “Frank, tell her to quit lying.”

“
I’m not lying,” Ellen said. “You two would swim in jealousy if you knew how much sex your father ...”

“
No.” Frank held up his hands, holding back his head and closing his eyes. “Stop. Just ... just stop.”

Ellen didn
’t. “Andrea tells me about all sorts of things.”

Robbie began to play his guitar louder
. “I’m not listening.”

Ellen spoke louder
, “She is buzzing with feelings. And she goes on and on about what they do.”

Frank
’s eyes widened. “My father can’t.”

“
Your father does.” Ellen pointed with a smile. “According to Andrea, not only in the bed ...”

Robbie stopped playing and ran past Ellen
. “I’m out of here.”

“
Me too.”

Ellen blocked Frank
, instigating him. “But in the tub ...”

“
Stop.”

“
On the couch.”

“
I’m not sitting there again.”

“
On the dining room table.”

“
Forget dinner.” Frank held up his hands.

“
Frank.” Ellen pulled his arms down. “I’m kidding you.”

“
Oh thank God.” Frank ran his hand down his face. “I was starting to think that she was acting all weird because she was trying to be a mother to all of us. So she really is whacked?”

“
No.” Ellen shook her head. “She really is sleeping with your father.”

“
But you just said you were kidding.”

“
I was kidding about the dining room table, Frank.” Ellen snickered and opened the back door. “See you inside.”

“
Fuck.” Frank shook his head when Ellen left. “Andrea and my dad, man.” He reached to his chest pocket for a cigarette and stopped when Ellen poked her head back out the screen door.

“
Oh, Frank? Before you light that up, Robbie’s in the house.” She winked and went back in.

Slowly Frank
’s hand moved from that pocket as he stared at the back door. “Shit.” He took a moment to think, then reached to his pocket again for that cigarette. He figured since he couldn’t get away with blaming Robbie on this night, he’d smoke anyhow and use the time to figure out who else to blame when Ellen asked him about it.

<><><><>

There was something so great about the way Dean looked sitting on his bed
. Ellen just had to take a moment to stare at him. Maybe it was the jeans he wore, those really faded ones. They fit him too, loose enough to hang just right. Barefoot, bare-chested, he sat on his bed, one leg brought up, his arm dangled over it, so deep in thought.

“
Ellen,” Dean called out, not raising his head at all, “what are you doing?”

“
What do you mean?”

“
You started to come into the room and then you stopped.”

“
Wow, are you getting good at this blind thing.” Ellen walked into the bedroom and around to her side of the bed. “I was staring at you.”

“
Why?”

“
You really look cute, Dean.” She climbed on the bed. “Wanna fool around?”

“
Yes.”

With a giggle
, Ellen moved closer to Dean, running her hand down his stomach and to the button of his jeans.

Dean grabbed her hand
, stopping her. “But we can’t.”

“
Why?”

“
We have one more day of cowboy law. I value my life.”

“
He won’t know.” Ellen moved to kiss his neck.

“
I’ll know.”

“
Like you care.”

“
I kind of do,” Dean backed up some, “despite how much as I want to be with you.” He ran his hand down her face then spread his fingers to see her. “Can we just wait?”

“
OK.” Ellen moved away from him, fixed her pillow, and plopped back in a sitting position. “Quiet, huh?”

“
Usually is when there aren’t any kids.”

“
What were you thinking about? I know you were thinking. You get that ‘Dean look’ on your face.”

“
A ‘Dean look’?” He shook his head with snicker. “I was thinking about our work.”

“
Really? So was I.” Ellen rolled on her side. “All of our work. I was thinking just a little bit ago how much I miss working on all that stuff we put aside. Marcus, the cryo-babies, not to mention all the neat diseases we used to give the rabbits. All that work in the cryo-lab. I miss working down there too, Dean.”

“
I do too. When this virus scare is over, we will get right back to all of our research. Unfortunately, you still have a long wait.”

“
Why do you say that?”

“
We have to dedicate all of our time on this virus for when and if they hit us with it. But by the date on that future note, we still have to January.” Dean sensed Ellen’s silence at that second. “What’s wrong?”

“
Well it’s just that ... it’s just that you know about the ripple thing. You read the note so you know how bringing you back, rippled everything.”

“
Yeah.”

“
Well your death wasn’t the only one short lived.”

“
I know this. George’s was too, so you said.”

“
Yes.” Ellen nodded. “So the note that came from the future … came from a future without you and without George, right?”

“
Right.”

“
So the scientists, not George, released the virus on us.”

“
Correct.”

“
But George is around now, so how much of an impact or rush will that put on it all. It could very easily happen sooner. You know how impatient George is.”

“
I didn’t even think of that.” Dean’s head fell some. “On those lines, the lines of the virus, is where my thinking is tonight.”

“
What about it?” Ellen asked.

“
What if it hits? What if it hits our children? What can we do about it? My mind went racing to something you said on the dictation tape. You asked what we were going to do with the antiserum. Right now we have two doses,” Dean paused for a long time, “two adult doses. I can make four children’s doses out of them.”

“
And give them to four children.”

“
Not just four children, El.” Dean lifted his head. “Our four children.”

“
Dean ...”

“
No, hear me out. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s unethical. And I know that antiserum belongs to the community, but I swear to you, El, more important to me than anything are the kids. I love them. Our children. We know I’m immune and you are and so is Frank. Our four kids, not including Nick because he is immune too, can be made immune. We can give them what we have extra and we wouldn’t have to worry about them getting sick.”

“
But is it right?”

“
In which way?” Dean faced her to ask her, “Is it the right thing to do, using the antiserum for selfish reasons? No it isn’t. But, is it the right thing to do for us? Let’s face it, I’m not you. If something happens to one of my children, I won’t be able to handle it.”

“
Yes you could, Dean. God forbid something happens, you will find the strength.” Ellen closed her eyes tightly. “I have been there. I watched my children die, and it is a pain that I would never want to go through again. That is why I am working so hard on this virus with you so we don’t have to face that. And we won’t, Dean. I believe in you, and I believe in us as a team.” She clenched her fist. “For as much as I am a selfish person, I can’t do this with you. I can’t. It is not right that we cheat someone else merely because we hold the upper hand.”

“
Is this Ellen speaking?”

“
Unbelievably, yes it is. I love our children. God, do I love them. But like the last time, I will hold onto to faith that it will work. I have more confidence this time. I have more faith, because this time I have you.”

“
Ellen.” Dean reached out emotionally and pulled Ellen tightly to him, burying his face close to hers. He gripped her head to hold her to him, his fingers intertwined within her hair. “I get so scared.” His voice dropped to a rapid whisper, “So scared. So scared. We work with this thing so much that it has lost its impact on us. When I let myself think of the consequences, I freak. We’ve taken this as far as we can take it. We need to take it further. What if we can’t?”

“
We can.”

“
We’re so limited.”

Dean
’s hold on her was so desperate, so clenching, that he wouldn’t let go. “Do you think giving our children the antiserum will make it all better for you? For me? It will take one thing off our minds but it won’t make what may happen go away.”

“
But it will make it tolerable if something does happen.”

“
Oh, Dean.” Ellen pulled back from him, laying her hands on his face. “I wish I had the answers for you, I really do. Maybe I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. Maybe you and I shouldn’t be discussing this.”

“
Who else will we discuss it with?” Dean asked. “This affects both you and me. Who else?”

Ellen kissed him softly
. “Get a shirt on.”

“
Why?”

“
We’re walking to talk to the third person this decision will affect.”

“
Frank?”