Blindsided (29 page)

Seth and I remain silent. I can’t tell how my boyfriend feels about the information, but I have to admit it totally alters my opinion of Major Norton. While I’m not happy with how he’s treated me in the past, it makes more sense now. My dad killed his grandfather. Of course I’d be a huge suspect.

“One question,” Seth says. “How’d you get the factory plans?”

This seems to surprise the Major. “I bought them from your father a few years ago. The military could have copies somewhere, but I don’t have the clear—”

“So he knows about this place, the layout, everything. He’s always known,” Seth says flatly. “Well, shit.”

“Shit?”

I wince, realizing just how bad this could be for us. “Seth’s dad has been working for Juan, as far as we can tell.”

Major Norton lets out a string of cuss words as he heads for the door. “I’m sorry I have to leave like this, but this is a serious security issue. Can’t trust anyone these days to…”

His voice trails off as he leaves, and then the door slams shut. It’s so quiet I wonder if these rooms are soundproof—I can’t hear any workers, now that I think about it.

“I guess he’s not so bad after all,” I say.

Seth rolls his eyes. “I bet his grandfather had good intentions when he created Radiasure, too. Sounds like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Then what does that say about you?
I want to say that so bad, but I bite my tongue and continue filling out my forms. I’m tired of fighting with him. Especially now that it’s pretty much the same argument over and over. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me he still cares in spite of everything.

Allie comes in with the nurse again, who takes my blood pressure and temperature and weight. After that it gets more difficult because they want a blood sample. The nurse runs her fingers over my arm, her lips pursed. She looks to Allie. “I don’t think I can do this. Even if I find the vein, I won’t know when the vial is filled.”

Allie frowns. “What if we do a finger prick?”

“How will we know how much we have without contaminating the sample?”

“Fine, I guess we’ll have to be satisfied with this.” Allie looks to me, feigning a smile. “Maybe after today you won’t have this problem again.”

“Weird.” I can’t keep the grin from spreading across my face.

“Have you finished the forms?”

“Yup.” I hand them to her.

Allie pulls a small bottle from her pocket, opens it, and taps one glowing red pill into her palm. I stare at it, this whole thing becoming frighteningly real as she holds it out for me. It’s so tiny, seemingly harmless, but it makes my heart race. “Alright, this is it. You’re the last one to take it—we’ll be observing you over the next several days to see if it has any effect. Please be as detailed as possible in telling us how you feel after taking it.”

“Okay.” I take the pill from her, and the nurse hands me a glass of water.

“Fiona.” Seth’s voice cracks on my name, and when my eyes meet his I can tell how scared he is. “Are you sure you have to do this?”

I look at the cure in my hand. Seth can see I’m holding it, but to me all I see is the red, glowing pill hovering in the air.

It’s all I can see.

Maybe I’ll lose everything because I want to see more than that, but the answer is still the same and it puts me at ease. “I’m sure.”

I pop the pill in my mouth, take a swig of water, and swallow.

Chapter 38

Twenty minutes later, and I still don’t feel anything. Worse than that, I don’t
see
anything. I keep staring at the mirror, hoping that I’ll be more than a teal dress and white capri leggings. Maybe I’ll fade in like a ghost becoming solid. Or will it happen all at once? It would be weird if my insides showed up before my skin…

Oh hell, I don’t care how it happens so long as it does.

“Doesn’t look like it’s doing anything,” Seth says, and I swear he sounds happy about it.

“Shut up.”

He smirks. “If you stare any harder that mirror might break.”

I set my glare on him instead. “Don’t talk like that—what if they can hear you?”

“There’s no one on the other side. No bugs.” He shrugs. “Besides, what does it matter anymore? If everyone can see you, I won’t have to be worried about pretending I can’t. That’d be nice. We could just be
normal
and utterly boring and not special. That’s what you want, right?”

His voice has an edge to it that makes it clear he hates everything about this. Something clicks. “Wait. Are you…
mad
that I want other people to see me and not just you?”

No answer. But I don’t need one because that says it all.

“Do you know how incredibly possessive that sounds?” I stand up, suddenly too frustrated to be still. “It must be so easy to have an invisible girlfriend. No one will steal me away. No one can tell me I’m pretty but you. I have to rely on you completely to know what I look like!”

He folds his arms. “That is
not
what I meant—I was trying to say I
like
that you’re special, and I just wish you could accept it instead of trying to change yourself. You’re perfect just how you are.”

“I’m not trying to change anything! I’m just trying to
see
myself. This isn’t plastic surgery.”

“It’s much more dangerous.” He looks away, and it feels like he’s holding back. “When you could just
trust
me. Do you know how insulting it is that you can’t take my word for it when it comes to your appearance?”

These words sting more than any before them. This is what has really been bothering him all along. “Do you know how insulting it is that just because I want more you think I don’t trust you?” I ask.

“Why am I not enough?”

“What?”

He stands, his chest heaving as he tries to contain his emotions. “Before all this happened, I thought we were…things were good, Fi. It wasn’t perfect, but the second you heard about this drug it was like everything I ever told you didn’t matter anymore. Now you’re acting like I’ve never tried to understand when that’s
all
I’ve tried to do. Hell, I’m the only person still here!”

My lips quiver as the truth fills me with shame. He’s right, but I don’t want him to be or to admit he is.

Seth stares at his feet. “I wish you’d stop pushing me away.”

“And I wish you’d stop lecturing me! Especially when you’re the one who has it easy in this relationship—it
does
look normal to you. You don’t have to deal with my invisibility at all! It’s all on me, and then you tell me I should get over it.” I lie on the bed and cover my head with the pillow, embarrassed.

The bed creaks, and I can tell he’s sat next to me. There’s a long pause before he replies, “Fiona, are you saying you’re
jealous
that I can see you?”

“All the time.” Tears spill out against my will. It sounds so ridiculous put in those terms, but it’s true. “It’s not fair.”

He puts his hand on my hip and gently squeezes. “Why haven’t you ever told me this?”

“Because it’s stupid. I knew you’d say that, too. I’m supposed to be happy about it, feel lucky, and so often I just wish I was you. Sometimes it’s downright infuriating that you know what I look like naked and I don’t.”

He lets out a low chuckle, mocking me just like I thought he would. “You’re right. It’s not fair. At all.”

I freeze, not sure I heard that right. Pulling the pillow from my head, I look at him. His eyes meet mine, and they’re softer than I’ve seen them in weeks. “What?”

“There’s nothing fair about it.” He lies down next to me, our noses almost touching. “You know what else isn’t fair? That Brady has to be afraid of hurting Bea when all he wants is to hold her. It’s not fair that Hector’s ears hurt constantly, or that Graham never has to go through an airport security line. Also, it’s not fair that your mom can unlock any door she wants, or that my dad can apparently fight like Bruce Lee.
Nothing’s
fair about life, but would it be any different without mutations?”

I frown. “It’d at least be a little more even.”

“Would it?” He pushes my hair behind my ear. “Good people would still be poor. Horrible people would still find power. And it would still be almost impossible to find the right time to tell your crazy girlfriend how much you love her.”

My eyes bug out. Suddenly all the weird, awkward moments between us the past several weeks make much more sense. “That is horrible timing. Like, seriously random, Seth.”

He smiles. “Hey, I figure I better let you know in case that drug does something terrible to you. So it’s out—I love you.”

My stomach fills with butterflies. What was a huge fight now makes complete sense. I thought he considered me stupid for what I was doing, when all he was worried about was losing the girl he loves. Me. He loves me. Though I assumed he loved me, I had no idea hearing the words out loud would mean so much. But they change everything, like a lens bringing the world into focus.

“I love you, too.”

He kisses me, and everything else is forgotten. I pull him on top of me, my insecurities nowhere in sight. I thought I needed to see myself to feel okay with this, but what I really needed was to know where we stood. Now that I know he’s that committed to me, I feel free. My head spins as I get maybe a little too lost in him, considering we’re in an underground bunker.

Then what felt like butterflies in my stomach changes to a sharp stabbing sensation. I gasp, and Seth pulls back.

“Did I…?” His face goes pale as he takes me in, and the stabbing spreads so quickly that I can’t find the ability to scream.

“S-Seth…w-what’s…hurts…”

He’s off the bed without a reply. I think I hear the door slam, but the pain has consumed every inch of my body. It feels like I’m burning from the inside out on top of swallowing hundreds of tiny razors.

Looks like the red pill has decided to do something after all.

My body shakes violently, and I pray I don’t throw up. I’m really starting to regret my choice when I hear Seth’s voice again. “Hurry and help her!”

“I can try.” I think it’s the nurse speaking, but I can’t move my head enough to see. “Except I can’t give her an IV, and I’m not sure her stomach will handle pain pills. The other patients are experiencing acute pain as well—none of them have passed through it yet.”

“I don’t care about the details!” Seth yells. “Just help her!”

The nurse tries to give me pills, but putting them in my mouth triggers my gag reflex and I lose it. Seth grabs the pink bin just in time to catch it. As I heave, I’m vaguely aware of the fact that my puke glistens.

I’ve never seen that before.

“It’ll be okay,” Seth says as he helps me lie back.

“Mm.” My vision is blurry and dim. It might be playing tricks with me, but I swear that the last thing I see before I pass out is spindly red veins in the shape of a hand.

My
hand.

Chapter 39

When I open my eyes, Seth sits at my bedside. His eyes fill with relief, and I get the sense that I was out for a lot longer than it feels. “It’s good you’re awake, because you promised not to die.”

“How long…?” That’s when I notice there’s something weird in my vision, and it stays in the same place no matter which way I move my head. I have to cross my eyes to look at it, and that’s when I realize the thing is a nose and that it probably belongs to me. I raise my hand, and for the first time in my life there are fingers and palm, forearm and elbow.

“You’re not dreaming,” Seth says.

“Are you sure?” Because I can see my skin, and it’s tanner than I expected. My nails are seriously stubby, but there are the freckles Seth described. They make me smile.

He nods. “More like you were having a nightmare. You were in so much pain they finally knocked you out with something. The drug took a couple hours to fully work, and Allie was so excited I wanted to punch her.”

I sit up, though I don’t immediately turn to the mirror. Instead I look at the door, reveling in the fact that there’s more than clothing in my peripheral vision. “Where is she?”

“I told her you’d want to be alone when you saw yourself for the first time, and that I’d call her when you wanted.” He takes my hand, and when I look at it on mine my heart leaps for joy it’s so beautiful. “Should I go now?”

Nodding, I say, “You know me too well. Thanks, Seth.”

“Of course.” He kisses my cheek, blocking my view of the mirror. “Just so you know, Allie said the other patients are seeing less effectiveness already. You might not have much time.”

“Okay.” I gulp, knowing the people I most want to show could be impossible to reach. “Any word on my family?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”